I watch as he lifts his fingers to his mouth and sucks them with a grin. Dirty bugger. Then he heads back over to his brothers to talk.
I spend the next hour mingling with the women and trying to avoid Jem for fear of humping him right here in the middle of the room. There’s a strange atmosphere this evening that I can’t quite put my finger on. Despite being a party, there doesn’t seem to be a party atmosphere, at least not under the surface. I notice an altercation of sorts between Beth’s father and two of the older men in the Club, which ends with Beth’s father storming off. Beth tries to go after Jack, but is stopped by Logan.
Josh seems on edge, too. He only cheers up for a moment when he heads over to Paige and wraps himself around her like a vine. The love in his eyes when he looks at her steals my breath. It’s a look that says the world could end and all he would care about is the woman in front of him. I wonder if Jem feels that way for me, or if he could ever feel that way. Would I want him to?
My head is so mixed up. Coming here tonight has things topsy turvy. I thought I could reconcile with this world, until Josh got shot again. Maybe this is the real reason Jem kept it quiet. Maybe he knew I would be freaked about it. Maybe he knew it would be a setback for me—for us. Getting shot again is a big thing. What I feel for Jem is intense and I think I do love him, but the danger… it’s real and it’s ever present. Can I ignore it? I don’t know.
And the lies.
So many lies.
I can’t talk to them about anything for fear of what they’ll do. I can’t tell my brother I’m dating his friend because I fear his reaction. I can’t tell my brother what my stepfather is doing because I fear his reaction. These men turn me into a liar to protect them. Yes, I could just tell the truth and let them deal with the repercussions of their own actions, but I know Josh will murder Grant for hitting me. He grew up in a violent household. It’s a trigger for him. Jem… I don’t know. He’s less predictable. Maybe I overestimate my worth to them both. Maybe they’ll do nothing, I’m not willing to risk it, though. Josh already did time inside. He won’t survive more, and he just found Paige. He’s happy.
Needing fresh air, I head for the main doors and slip outside while no one is paying attention. It’s early October so there is a nip in the air, and it’s starting to drizzle, so I stay under the canopy provided by the door. The cool breeze washes over me and is welcome after the stuffiness of inside.
I take a long sip of my wine and tip my head back to stare up at the wooden overhang. How long can I keep juggling all my lies? I want to be able to come to these things and be with Jem, not sneaking off later. Jem and I need to get to a better position, though. We haven’t even affirmed what we are to each other. We haven’t even said the ‘L’ word yet. I’m not even sure I like him half the time. He drives me bonkers. Yet, I can’t seem to give him up.
My thoughts scatter as a white van pulls into the car park, stopping outside the doors. Across the side of the panel is written in cursive letters ‘Mim’s Bakery’ and there are little images of cakes.
A woman climbs out, her hair scraped back into a ponytail, flour on her cheeks.
“Are you with the party?”
“Uh…”
“I’ve got a cake. Can I leave it with you?”
Before I can protest, she’s heading for the back of the van and opening the doors. I place my wine glass on the floor and wander to her. The cake box is cumbersome but I manage to manoeuvre back inside the building carrying it. I really should have got one of the women who was organising this. What if I drop it?
Carefully, I head towards the bar, seeing Josh and Paige emerging from the Staff Only door.
“Where do you want the cake, Josh? The lady from the bakery just dropped it off.”
My brother moves to take it from me, but Jem steps in front of him and takes it from my hands. The weight lifts and I’m grateful for the reprieve because this thing is surprisingly heavy.
“I’ll take that.” His grin is lopsided and hints at mischief.
What’s he up to?
I’m flustered for a moment before this melts into irritation. Does he think I’m that helpless, or that I need him to sweep in and do things for me? And why is he doing this so publicly? Everyone is watching.
“I don’t need you to carry things for me.”
His lips twitch. “Have it back then.”
He tries to hand the box back to me.
What on earth…?
“Well, I don’t need it back now, do I?”
His expression is bemused as he considers me, his head tilting to one side, and my mouth goes dry. He really is exceptionally good looking.
“So, you want me to keep hold of it?”
I open my mouth and then close it again. I have absolutely no idea what to say to him. He’s tying me up in knots, and I’m aware of all the eyes watching this exchange take place. Is he seriously doing this in front of a room full of people? Including my bloody brother?
I’m sure my cheeks are flaming right now.
“Jem, quit tormenting her,” Josh snaps at him, finally taking pity on me. Not that I need his pity either. I’m capable of kicking Jem in the bollocks myself.
Jem, as if sensing my thoughts, grins. “I’m just trying to be helpful.”
“Yeah, well, be helpful by putting the cake on the buffet table,” Beth tells him as she appears from behind Jem with Logan on her heels.
“Your old lady is a slave driver, Lo,” Jem mutters, earning a glare from Beth and a snort from Logan.
“Did Mim leave an invoice?” she asks me.
Grateful for the distraction from Jem, who I may strangle later, I say, “Um, no, but you might just catch her if you hurry.”
“When are we eating, B?” Jem yells after Beth as she heads for the doors.
“In an hour.”
He glances up at the clock on the wall behind the bar. It’s just after six-thirty.
“An hour? But I’m starving.”
“You’re always starving,” she throws over her shoulder. “Eat a packet of nuts or something. I’m sure Wade can sort you out with some.”
When he glances at my brother, Josh shakes his head. “Does this look like the type of place that stocks nuts?” At the grin spreading across Jem’s face, Josh holds up a hand. “Don’t fucking answer that.”
He laughs and as always, the sound does funny things to me. I hate to admit it, but I’m completely and utterly smitten with this man. He has me firmly in his grasp, and boy, does that scare me. I don’t know if Jem feels the same, I hope he does, but I don’t know that I can let him walk away from me, which means I have big decisions in my future—first and foremost… where is my future? Secondly, can I get my head around the Club and the more dangerous elements that come with it? Thirdly… what do I do if my brother decides he’s not keen on the idea of me dating Jem? He’s continually made it clear he’s not happy about me shacking up with any of his brothers.
“Everyone always thinks the worst of me.”
Jem shoots me a wink and I roll my eyes, although I give him a smirk back, before I turn and follow after Beth.
As I walk away, I hear Josh say to Jem, “Leave my sister alone.”
This makes my good mood dissipate. Josh is still warning his brothers away from me like I’m some teenager in need of protecting. It bothers me. I slow my pace, waiting to hear what Jem’s response is.
“I would, but she’s all kinds of adorable, Wade. It’s really hard to leave her alone.”
I can’t help but grin behind my hand at that. Jem’s an annoying shit when he wants to be, and he’s clearly annoying my brother because Josh steps menacingly towards him.
Jem’s not even remotely fazed because he laughs as he says, “I dig the big brother routine, though. It suits you.”
“I mean it. Leave Piper alone.”
The smile Jem gives him is genuine, but there’s a hardness beneath it. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”
I wat
ch as my guy crosses the room, placing the cake box on the table before he swipes a sausage roll off the buffet table, earning a smack to the arm from his sister, Sofia. He takes this with a grin before his eyes find mine. Then he gives me a cocky lip lift and I know everything, somehow, will be okay because I have him. And Josh is just going to have to get on board with it, because I don’t think I can give Jem up.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Cami demands, pulling my pillow against her as she sits cross-legged on my bed.
I gawk at her. “You’re seriously asking me this? You? Queen of rebellion?”
One of her perfectly plucked eyebrows delicately arches. “I know. I can’t even believe I’m asking it myself, but considering everything that’s going on, it just seems like maybe it would be a good idea to let things settle.”
I sigh as I pull my overnight bag off the bed and onto the floor. “Things are settled.”
“Are they?”
“Cami, everything is fine. Josh wouldn’t let me come if it wasn’t, nor would Jem.”
The look she shoots me is sceptical. “Your brother was shot in the head six weeks ago, and I didn’t say a word about you going back there for that bloody party then. But honey, it’s been six weeks and they still haven’t caught that Dylan lunatic. The instructions your brother has sent you for when you arrive at the station in Kingsley, frankly, scare me. They clearly think he is a threat. Maybe it would be safer to just stay home.”
I drop my hands to my hips and stare at my duvet. We’re standing in my bedroom after I just hastily packed up enough stuff for the weekend. I understand why Cami’s concerned. Josh did send a laundry list of do’s and don’ts for the weekend—most of which involve not going anywhere without a brother or escort. I have to admit, it does freak me out a little, but I don’t want to miss Beth’s hen do either. I also don’t want to miss any chance to potentially see Jem. I’m not sure I’ll have the opportunity, as he’ll be off on Logan’s stag weekend, but if I can see him, I’m there. I’m hopelessly addicted to him and I’ll take whatever hits of him I can get—no matter how small.
“Like it’s any better here. Grant’s in trouble and he’s not exactly playing nice either.”
Her expression drops. “Has he threatened you again?”
I let out a long breath. “No, I haven’t seen him or Mum in weeks.”
The relief in her face is evident. “I can’t deal with this level of drama. Maybe I should hire us some kind of bodyguard. Someone good looking to follow us around.”
“And go against your ‘living a normal life’ mantra that you fought your father about for years?” Her eyes roll upwards, but I continue before she starts to think it might be a good idea. “Besides, how would I explain that to my boyfriend? You know the six-foot-three giant biker who is bound to be a tad miffed about some attractive beefcake following me around?”
She hugs the pillow closer. “You could always tell him the truth—that your stepfather is a piece of shit who is threatening your life.”
I sink onto the edge of the bed with a sigh. “I don’t know that he is threatening me, Cam. I don’t know anything. As far as I can tell, Grant is all talk.”
“Darling, he didn’t seem all talk when you came home with a bruised face or arm, or when that man was watching you when we were eating lunch.” She shivers. “Grant scares me.”
I frown at her, her words sending a slither of unease through me, mainly because I don’t think she’s joking. “Grant scares you?”
“He doesn’t you? He’s intimidating.”
I consider her words. “It’s all that power to rule over the local community. It’s gone to his head. He thinks he’s king.”
“He’s in local government. That’s the same thing. This practically is his domain.”
“Don’t let him get into your head. He’s a glorified paper pusher.”
Cami snorts, pushing her red hair over her shoulder. “Dear God, don’t let him hear you say that. Not unless you want a national emergency on our hands.”
I laugh then sober. “I’m sorry you’re being dragged into this. I don’t want you involved at all. If he comes around while I’m gone call the police.”
“You want me to call the police on your stepfather?”
“He’s not my stepfather anymore.”
She nods. “And what about this venture to Kingsley? I’m not happy about this either.”
“So I gathered, but Josh won’t let anything happen to me, nor will Jem.”
“Right, Jem… who no one knows you’re dating and have been for the best part of two, three months, now. P, every time you go up there you end up embroiled in some big Club event. I mean, last time it was the stripper birthday party, this time it’s a hen do.”
“Yeah, that is getting irritating. I would like to go for once and it just be me and Josh. I’m not sure why we need the leather-clad hot guy clan to tag along.”
Her lips quirk. “Yeah, although, I do hate you for that. All those years I was kicking back against my parents, and your first rebellion you find a motorcycle club. Where did I go wrong?”
“I’m sure I can set you up with one of them. Biker Blind Date.”
She waves a nonchalant hand.
“It’s too late now. My parents no longer care what I do. Besides, I’m with Spencer.”
This is only partially true, although her parents have given up trying to tame their wild daughter.
She launches the pillow at me. I catch it with ease and replace it on the bed.
“Are you going to tell Josh about the problems you’re having with your parents?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why not? He’s your brother. He’ll want to know.”
“Because he’s my brother and he’s a fuss pot who will want to fix it. He can’t fix this. Besides, it’s my problem. Not his.”
“It won’t kill you to let people in, you know?”
I freeze at her words, hating that she sees so much of me, glad that she’s the only one who does. Cami is my oldest friend and has been with me for the good, the bad and the ugly, but that means she sees my worst and best faults.
“It’s not about letting people in, Cam. He can’t do anything to fix this, and I don’t want him involved.”
“And you and Jem? When does that become public knowledge?”
I chew on my bottom lip.
“After the wedding.” We were going to go public with our relationship a month ago, but then Beth and Logan announced their snap wedding plans. Since neither Jem nor I want to cause an atmosphere at their nuptials, we decided it would be best to wait until after they tie the knot.
“Josh will kill him and probably never speak to him again for breaking the sacred bro-code. I’m fairly certain it’s going to be the end of mine and Josh’s relationship as well,” I say, voicing my fears. “But it’s time. Past time really. Sneaking around is getting old.”
“P, he’s not going to disown you for following your heart.”
“You have no idea how set against me being with his brothers Josh is, and he’s really not going to like that we’ve been lying. He just finished being lied to by Club brothers. He’s going to lose it when he realises me and Jem have been lying as well. He’ll see it as another betrayal.”
“You haven’t betrayed him. Honestly, this is all so theatrical. It’s ridiculous.”
“Yes, I know, but it’s how he’ll view it.”
“Well, then your brother’s an idiot.”
I snort. “Quite possibly, but we’re stupid for lying. We should have just come clean from the start and dealt with the fallout then.”
Cami sighs. “Yeah, but you didn’t, and Josh will have to be a grown up and deal with it. Now, get going or you’ll miss your train.”
The journey to Kingsley seems to take forever today, but eventually, I see the familiar landscape I associate as the entrance into the town. The rolling hills and greenery gives way to more industr
ialised urban sprawl before the factories and finally the skeletal remains of the old collieries come into view. As the train makes its way into the town centre and Kingsley’s station, the tower blocks surround the carriages, once a claustrophobic sight, now a reassuring one.
I push up from my seat and grab my stuff, clamouring to get out of the carriage when it shudders to a stop.
When I step onto the platform, I see Josh leaning against the wall, his broad arms folded over his chest. He’s wearing his kutte, as always, black jeans and his ‘Ride or Die’ hoodie. I thought Paige might have discretely removed that thing from his wardrobe, but alas, it still lingers on.
He gives me a lift of his lips that hints at a smile as he pushes up to greet me.
“Hey,” I say as I approach.
He takes my bag from me before reaching for the handle of my pull-along suitcase, and gives me a chin lift. “Hey, Pipe. How was the journey?”
“Long. Boring. I managed to read an entire Cosmo from cover to cover.”
He stares at me blankly for a moment before he says, “Paige is waiting in the car.”
I can’t help but grin at him. “Not a Cosmo fan? I thought Paige might have a subscription. It seems like it might be her thing.”
At least that’s the impression I got from meeting her at Weed’s party. To be honest, I was surprised to learn she started off by stripping at Lace. I don’t like to put people into boxes, but Paige struck me as someone who comes from money.
“Since I don’t have a fucking clue what Cosmo is, I have no idea.”
“It’s a magazine, Josh. Cosmopolitan.”
“Oh.” We start to walk towards the gate that leads out to the car park. “She doesn’t read that kind of thing.”
This surprises me. “Really? I would have thought…” I frown. “She seems like a glossy magazine kind of girl.”
He snorts as he pulls the gate open. It makes a screech that would wake the dead. “Paige loves TV. She’s a TV junkie. I can’t get her away from that thing. She’ll watch any old shit, too. It drives me nuts. Reality shit, documentaries—although, I don’t mind those so much—soaps, dramas… You name it, she’ll watch it.” He sounds annoyed, but the look in his eyes tells a different story. I’m guessing they watch these things together and Paige is curled around him when they do. It’s probably not as terrible as he’s making out.
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