“So that’s why she had all that stuff in her room.” He explained, “But I have a lot of self-control. I could have handled my feelings for you. That night, she yelled at me, gave me an ultimatum. She told me that it was her or you. I loved her. You were about to go on some worldwide ‘Muse’ premiere tour with either Matthew or Grant. You were an actress, you would always be kissing some hot guy in some movie. I chose Kate.”
He took both of my hands in his and lifted them to his lips, kissed them and put them on both of his cheeks. “Later she told me I couldn’t speak to you anymore. I told her I couldn’t do that. That would have been much too painful. I broke up with her. I felt terrible that I didn’t love her enough and felt worse that I dreamt of you.”
He stopped. He took my hands from his face. The pain of the break-up was surfacing. I didn’t want him to remember. I wanted to get to the point, to save him from the guilt he felt. I also felt Alan watching us from across the pool. I felt uncomfortable with the setting and the confession that was none of my business. I needed to get this conversation moving.
“Then she got pregnant and everything got confusing. Sure we were engaged but it felt so messed up. She dumped me the night we all went out to see Jefferson’s Muse because she knew. I couldn’t watch you on screen. It absolutely burned me to the core to see you kiss Matthew. It was so wrong that I coveted you. I didn’t deserve either of you.”
“Manuel, don’t beat yourself up about feelings you didn’t even act upon. You were trying to do the right thing for yourself, Kate, and the baby in a bad situation.”
“I do feel guilty, Lia. I was going to marry her, have a baby, and there I was thinking about you.” He looked ashamed. “I put her through hell. She knew, and that’s why she got an abortion. I’m not as good as you think I am. I guess that’s what she wanted to tell you, that I’m a complete prick.”
I interrupted and put my hand on his shoulder. “Shh… You’re a good guy with faults. We all have faults and I love you. But that is not exactly what she told me.” He still looked down.
“Manuel, listen.” I waited until his eyes met mine to tell him. “She wasn’t pregnant. She made it up to trap you. She lied and didn’t know how to get out of the lie since you committed to her and wanted the baby that didn’t exist. She was going to pretend a miscarriage but said the abortion thing to hurt you. She broke it off because she was in the lie too deeply and couldn’t live with it anymore.”
“What?” He stared at me.
“Kate knew you were in love with me and made the pregnancy up to make you love her more than you loved me, to commit to her.”
“Why?” He stared at me.
“To keep you, but then she felt bad, had to get out of the lie since you knew something was off. Remember, your immediate response was that she cheated on you. You were convinced for days. You knew you weren’t drunk and didn’t believe that you guys had unprotected sex. Then you did the math to figure out when she ovulated. You and I talked about how nothing added up to you. You knew it wasn’t yours because you were right. There was no baby.”
Manuel jumped off the chaise and yelled, “That bitch!”
By the time I had realized that he was gone, he was getting his phone out of his backpack on the other side of the pool. I walked back towards the table where Alan was sitting, watching Manuel. Everyone was watching Manuel.
He was yelling into the phone, “You bitch. We need to talk right now… No, I’ll meet you… No, if you don’t I’ll tell everyone here at Alan’s… Fine… No, now!... Yes, fifteen minutes. Where?”
He hung up the phone. “Lia Marie, I’m too drunk to drive. You have to take me. Let’s go.”
“But I don’t want to go! Can I drop you off? Shit, Manuel. I shouldn’t be there.”
“Please. Drive me, wait with me. I’ll talk to the bitch alone but be there. I need you.”
I gulped. “Okay, let’s go.”
I saw that everyone was still staring at us, wanting to know what was going on. Manuel said something to Beth in German. We left.
~ | ~ THE GUARDIAN & (DARK) ANGEL
It was Thursday afternoon, and I was done with high school! I couldn’t wait to see Manuel and relax. He was waiting for me at my place. I felt a lot better since I talked with Dad and read CSY6’s emails. I was also glad Manuel knew the truth about Kate. After he had a very emotional discussion with her, he asked me to drop him off at his apartment. He wanted to talk to his parents. He felt played—betrayed. He did not forgive her.
“Hey, Manuel!” I said as I came in from the garage.
“Hi, high school graduate!” Manuel hugged me.
“Yeah. It’s cool. My finals today were really easy.”
The housecleaners were finishing up the floors, so Manuel took my hand and led me to my bedroom. He spun me around. He was happy. He put his arm around me, sliding his hand from the middle of my back to my shoulder. I shuddered from a tingle that zipped down my spine and warmed my pelvis. The feeling was getting uncomfortably intense.
I ignored my feelings. So this is what it used to be like for him before my birthday? Wanting me so badly but trying so hard to be good. This is how he felt about me while he was dating Kate. Poor guy. I had no idea how intense the feeling could be and how much control I had to exert over myself.
I asked, “So what do you want to do for the rest of the day?”
“I thought we might drive to Malibu. I know you love that sushi restaurant, and thought I’d experience it with my new perspective.” Manuel laughed. “Before we go, though, I want to give you your graduation present.”
I could tell he was very excited to give it to me. But I was so preoccupied these last few weeks that I didn’t have a present for him. I didn’t even think about it. I hesitated.
He asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Manuel, I don’t have anything for you. I didn’t even think about it. I’m so sorry.”
“Lia, I don’t care. As a matter of fact, I kind of like it better this way because now I won’t get two things and you just one. I kind of share in your gift.” He beamed. He was even more delighted.
We heard the housecleaners close the front door. We had the house to ourselves. The thought made my heart leap. I tried to settle myself when he took my hand to lead me to his backpack leaning against my bed, but his touch re-ignited the fire and I was burning for him. We both sat on the bed.
“I saw this and thought it perfectly captured our relationship. It’s really corny. But the guardian angel thing is just between us, so…” He handed me a large jewelry box tied with a ribbon. I smiled at him. He smiled warmly back at me, eager for me to open it, hoping I would like it.
The box contained two pendants on their own chains, one chain more delicate than the other. Each pendant was a half of a heart. Together they made a whole. Both halves were engraved. The pendant on my dainty necklace read, “Guardian” and the one on the thick necklace said, “Angel.”
“I love it! I love you. Thank you!”
Manuel was overjoyed that I liked his gift. “Let me put it on you!”
He already had my necklace out of the box and was unclasping it. He sat in front of me, sincerely looked into my eyes, and put the chain around my neck. Once more a shock of electricity overwhelmed my body. My groin was throbbing and my lungs felt tight as if my heart was ready to explode. He admired the pendant.
“I love you,” he breathed.
And that was it. Finally my mind and my body were in complete agreement. I wanted him. I chose him. I had to have him. I just could not take another second of being aroused or it was going to become painful. I tackled him, kissing his lips with passion I had no idea that I had. I pulled at his tee shirt, desperate to get it off of his body. With the other hand, I pulled off my sun dress, exposing my breasts and pressing them into his chest as I worked on getting his shorts off. He started helping me. Within a few seconds, we had our clothes off and were completely linked in a passionate embrace. I was on top of him
on the bed and tossed off the comforter. I slowed down my kissing and opened my eyes. Shortly afterwards, he opened his eyes too. I looked at him devilishly, feeling overwhelmed with love and appreciation for him and absolute desire. Then I started to make love to my boyfriend, my lover, my best friend.
I continued to kiss him while he got ready. When we started again I felt his entire body relax. He kissed me and touched me, intensifying the pleasure I was feeling, multiplying it until I felt like I was going to burst. Then a feeling beyond intensity overpowered me. Electricity pulsated from where we were together to every part of my body, my toes, my head and neck, my fingertips. I gasped in the delight of the pleasure and open my eyes. I was too dizzy to see. I couldn’t focus. It felt like I had lost my eyesight and my head spun. I felt completely relaxed as the love pulsated through my body.
Manuel looked absolutely triumphant. I giggled and remained on top of him, resting my head on his chest. I stayed still while I let the electricity flow through my body.
After he could feel that I calmed down, he whispered, “Thank you for my tattoos. I’m so happy I could give you all of me.”
I carefully rolled to my back. I kissed him again and followed the contours of his body with my hands, trying to bring him even closer to me. He was beautiful. We were beautiful together. I was completely in love. He was part of me, interconnected, one heart. He moaned and then slowed. We relaxed into each other.
“Lia, you’re the sexiest girl alive, ya know. I absolutely love you.”
I opened my eyes and smiled at him with sheer joy. “I love you. That was…beautiful. Thanks for my tattoos, too.”
We had a wonderful time in Malibu that evening and walked arm in arm along the beach at sunset, stopping often to listen as at the waves crashed onto the beach. We watched the dolphins swim close to the shore. We came back to the house before 9 pm and cuddled in the hot tub until I couldn’t bear being so close to his body anymore.
“I smiled and bit my lip. Well, we haven’t tried the guest suite yet. I hear the bed is quite comfortable.” I pulled Manuel from the hot tub, grabbed a towel for each of us and headed inside.
Manuel chuckled while I pulled off my suit and wrapped the towel around me. He did the same. “Wow. Okay… I never imagined you’d be so seductive.” He laughed again, “You’ve always been irresistible, though. You get comfortable. I’ll be right back.”
When we made love after coming in from the hot tub I felt rapture before he did again. But after I calmed down, we were able to truly enjoy each other’s bodies, the exquisiteness of his sensual touch and the rhythm of our movements as if we were gracefully dancing as one.
Making love with Manuel shattered my diamond gland and heart. I let love overwhelm me. I did not feel sinful. I felt awakened. I felt new.
~ | ~ AN ECLIPSE
I woke up in Manuel’s arms the happiest I had been since I could remember. We were in my bed because we had to get the guest bedroom ready again for Dad and Celia. It was Friday, the day before the graduation ceremony. Michelle chartered a jet and was picking up Dad and Celia from Palo Alto on her way home from Vancouver. Celia understood the context from which Michelle made the horrendous decision and did not judge her harshly. Dad, on the other hand, was going to take the opportunity to have it out with her.
“Good morning, Angel. I slept great, how about you?”
“Awesome. I love sleeping with you. It’s very comforting, very nice.” I kissed Manuel’s cheek and relaxed back into his chest. I asked, “So what are we going to do today? When does your mom want you home?”
“Well, I have to work at four. Sorry. I wish I could be with you all day and night. We should meet my mom for some coffee. My dad might be there too. Liz would really like to see you and have proof that she didn’t mess us up.”
He smiled at me and kissed my hand.
“Holy shit! Lia, you’re covered in blood!” He looked at my sleep shirt. We both looked at the sheets. There was blood everywhere. “What the hell?” He was out of the bed in an instant looking at me and at the sheets, completely frazzled.
“Are you in pain?” I asked. “There’s blood on your side and underwear. What did you cut?”
“I feel great. What did you cut?”
I was out of the bed, too. It was obvious that the blood came from me but I didn’t feel any pain. We both went to the bathroom. I felt funny walking and looked at my underwear. It was soaked with blood.
“Wow!” I squealed. “I got my period! I am going to be able to have kids! I’m so happy!”
Manuel busted out laughing. “Shit, Lia. I just had a heart attack.” He hugged me, shaking me from his laughter. “Congratulations on getting your period. Now get in that shower. I’ll get everything in the washer.”
Manuel was used to doing his family’s laundry. He did have a fourteen-year-old sister and a mom. He was not at all embarrassed or grossed out. I took off my sleep shirt, wrapped it around my underwear and handed the bundle to him. He laughed and shook his head as he started cleaning up the bed.
While Manuel was in the shower, I texted Dr. Jack and told him I just started my period. He asked if I could come in at 10 am. I thought that would be fine but needed to check with the man.
“Can we swing by Dr. Jack’s lab at 10? We should have enough time to see your family. Or I can also go by myself so you can spend some time with them. Whatever works for you.”
“Sure, Lia. But this is a celebration day. We’ve met many more milestones than we had intended in the last 24 hours, so we should meet my mom.” His smile was absolutely naughty.
“You’re so evil, such the seducer. You know that once I have my first Krispy Kreme there is no telling what I will do next. What would Elise do if I tell her I cheated? She’d give up on me for my utter lack of discipline.” I laughed. I had not eaten a donut in four years. I had a few pieces of cake, several croissants, a few brownies, pasta and pizza: all off-limit foods. But a donut, essentially an iced, fried cupcake, was beyond forbidden. Liz walks to Krispy Kreme every Friday morning. It’s her indulgence.
He started rushing. “Let’s go, it’s 8 am.” He explained, “She’ll just be getting there now.”
I wasn’t quite ready to go. I was so happy that I wanted to talk about something first. I stopped him at the garage door and held his hand. “Manuel, I want to get married.”
He smiled. “I’d love to get married.” He asked, “Did having the best night of your life and getting your period bring this on or do you want to grow old with me and can’t wait another minute to get started?”
I laughed and explained, “I have a ton of money, am in love with my soul mate, and want to have your babies. I can now. I don’t know how long I’m going to live so I want to start living.”
He kissed me. “I don’t think we should get pregnant right away but, yeah, let’s get married. That would be awesome. Let’s talk about it over lunch.”
I smiled, completely elated, and wrapped my arm around his waist as we left the house.
We took the Vespa. Carlos picked me up off the ground in a hug when he saw me, rattling off how proud he was of us in Spanish.
The donut was delicious; truly, truly amazing. I said so and they all laughed. I immediately planned on doing the Santa Monica stairs to the canyon that afternoon to burn the calories off from the donut.
“I like your new necklaces. You each have half of a heart. I’m so glad you two have finally become one heart. I love you both,” Liz smiled. She was feeling overcome.
“Thanks, Liz. I love all of you, too. Thanks for being family to me for sixteen years.”
Manuel smiled and we all hugged each other. Janet sat between Carlos and Manuel. She smiled, “It’s great that the sexual tension has left the building. That was getting to be too much!”
We all ignored Janet. This time, Liz didn’t say anything. She had learned.
“Thanks, and no thanks, for the donut. I’m certain that I’m now addicted. I need to leave now to see m
y doctor. Is it okay if I borrow Manuel or did you need him before he goes to work?”
“Lord. Manny can do whatever. He’s more mature than I am. Are you feeling okay, Marie? Uncharacteristically, Manny has told us little but we know you’re very sick.”
“Mom, remember we are calling her “Lia” now.”
“I don’t care what you call me. Whatever name is fine. I’m really still both: Lia or Marie. I feel good, but I’ve run into some complications with my physical development. I’ll fill you all in when I know what exactly is going on.”
I was physically feeling really good. I was emotionally scared to death. I didn’t know what Manuel had told them but I hoped very little. If he followed the rules, he would have said nothing. But I wouldn’t blame him if he needed to talk about it with his parents.
Manuel smiled, “Lia and I want to get married. We’re gonna talk about it more at lunch and then I want to talk about it with you guys. Will you be home?”
Janet screeched, “What?! Manny, you don’t have to get married just because you had sex. You can be so stupid!”
Carlos interrupted Janet, “¿Y a ti que te importa?”
Carlos put his hand on Manuel’s shoulder, “Claro, Manny. I took the day off to be with you.” He and Liz gave each other a look that communicated apprehension. The smiles on both of their faces disappeared into tense lines. We both already knew what they thought about us getting married at eighteen.
He looked at Manuel and then at me. “But first, please, let’s talk. Janet, we’ll come back inside and get you after.”
Manuel held my hand and walked me outside to the back parking lot. Carlos put his arm around Liz and leaned against the brick building. He smiled at her. She raised her eyebrows and sighed.
Carlos started, “You know each other. You know what’s inside, see each other’s souls. You are on different tracks that seem like different worlds. They are. Manny is a high school student. He works, hangs out with his friends, studies. He comes home to a mom and dad and sister, a family. Manny, you’re not lonely. You have no one relying on you to perform. You don’t know what that feels like. Liana Marie is an actress. She works, maintains her brand, travels. People fuss with her constantly. She comes home to an empty house. She texts you, Tom and Michelle. She’s a business. Hundreds of people feed their families because of her success.” He looked at both of us, seeing if he communicated anything.
Loved In Pieces (The Intentions Series) Page 26
