by Eric Vall
Off in the distance, Sia was getting creative with her attacks. She picked up clusters of the Daeva with her black Hellfire of fear and was using them as a makeshift flail. The petite redhead knocked the bastards away and then blasted any that got too close with a flash of red flames.
We may have been in the midst of battle, but the sight of my friends kicking demon ass so effortlessly brought a stupid grin on my face.
Though the succubi and Todd were taking care of a huge portion of the Daeva army, there were still a few dozen who were ascending the hill in front of me. That meant there were still a few dozen bloodthirsty demons who had the intent of ripping me limb from limb, and that just wouldn’t do.
I needed to improvise, just like my succubi.
The next wave of demons approached from below, and I noticed that they struggled to keep their balance on the rocky hillside. I needed to use this environment to my advantage.
I blasted a handful of red fireballs into the ground in front of me and caused a spray of rocky debris to kick up. Quickly, I repeated this action three more times until the small pile of debris turned into a rather large bundle of jagged rocks. Then, I encased the entire pile with emerald Hellfire and raised it into the air. Despite my increasing power levels, the rocks still felt like they weighed a ton, and I heaved deep breaths as I moved them into position.
The Daeva must have realized what I was doing because many of the little devils tried to turn and run back down the hill. Unfortunately for them, I was way too fast.
I moved my glowing green hands outward, and the pile of rocks spread out in front of me in response. Then, I heaved my arms down, and the large jagged projectiles followed suit. The remaining Daeva in front of me scrambled to get away, but they weren’t fast enough. Some of their heads exploded underneath the weight of the rocks, and the few who did survive the onslaught found themselves buried alive underneath the pile of rubble. Muffled wails of pain radiated out from underneath the jumble of rocks, but they grew silent after a few more seconds.
I’d taken care of my third of the battlefield. Now, I just needed to help my friends in whatever way I could. Another quick survey of the scene reminded me that the succubi and Todd were doing just fine on their own, with Daeva grunts falling left and right.
That just left the two Archangels. I turned around and saw that Raphael and Uriel’s epic battle had moved down into the parking lot of the park.
Chunks of asphalt were laying all around the disheveled lot, and the two combatants both looked like they were about to fall over from exhaustion. Raphael readied his FAMAS and squeezed off a few rounds at his target, but Uriel was able to knock them away with what looked like a whip made of pure Divine light. The sound of thunder rang out across the desert night as the blond Archangel cracked the whip, and the bullets disintegrated in midair.
Uriel cracked his whip again, and it swung forward and knocked Raphael’s rifle out of his hands. The Archangel brought his weapon back above his head once more, but this time his opponent was too fast, and Raphael reached down onto his belt and then tossed a handful of cylindrical grenades at the blond man. The grenades exploded just inches away from Uriel’s face, and the Archangel was thrown backward. His body tumbled across the landscape and through a few cactuses before he finally rolled to a stop.
Uriel wasn’t out though. Almost instantly, the blond Archangel launched himself into the sky and launched a blast of Divine light down onto Raphael. The torrent of energy struck right where Raphael was standing, and the pavement shot up in a circular pattern as his body was engulfed by the blinding flash. When Uriel finally let up, the smoke cleared to reveal Raph laying at the bottom of a tiny crater.
The dark-haired Archangel rolled over and tried to stand, but he was beaten. Instead, Raphael collapsed back onto his stomach and went limp. Meanwhile, Uriel’s figure lifted up into the air and fluttered toward his fallen target at breakneck speed.
That shit just wasn’t going to fly, not on my watch.
When Uriel was just a few feet away from Raph’s unconscious body, I threw up a wall of purple Hellfire. The Archangel must have been caught by surprise because he tried to fling himself out to the right of the expanding barrier. However, it was no use, and Uriel’s perfect face slammed right into the barrier at full speed.
The fallen Archangel’s momentum was halted, and he fell to the ground hard. As he stood up, I noticed that he was nursing his right shoulder.
Good. This fucker was going to be hard enough to bring down so any weakness I could exploit would be helpful. I began to run down toward the Archangel, my enchanted sword at the ready.
“Ralston!” Uriel screamed as he saw me approaching.
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” I snarked as I got closer and readied my weapon.
Uriel struggled to get back to his feet which left him wide open for my first attack. I pulled my flaming dagger back behind my head, aimed for the Archangel’s jugular, and then swung it as hard as I could. At the last moment, Uriel’s hand shot up and caught my weapon directly by the blade.
“You’ve been a thorn in our side for far too long, Jacob,” the blond man hissed, and then his hand began to glow with Divine light.
I tossed down a small barrier of violet Hellfire right as my opponent unleashed his attack. The impact of the blast against my shield was intense, and I stumbled backward. Uriel yanked my goat-headed dagger out of my hand, tossed it to the side, and then clapped his hands together to increase the power of his blast.
At the same time, I tried to match him by summoning purple flames into my left hand and increasing the size of my shield. Though the dancing violet spell was enough to keep me alive, Uriel’s power was insane. My entire body was slowly being driven back by the sheer force of the attack, and it felt like my shoes had zero traction against the rough asphalt under my feet.
I closed my eyes and began to think about the odds we were up against. This was an Archangel, not a low-level demon or paranormal assassin. A fucking Archangel. Now that Raph was down, I was the last line of defense between my friends and one of the most powerful creatures in existence. My entire being screamed with rage at the thought of what he’d do to my friends if I couldn’t bring him down.
As I thought about what was at stake, my feet stopped sliding, and my body felt like it was surging with power. A familiar throbbing sensation pressed against my temples as I caught a glow of blue from the corner of my eyes. My horns must have been growing along with my newfound strength.
I cast white light into both of my hands, and my purple shield disappeared. It was replaced by a massive beam of my own Divine energy, and I pushed back against Uriel as hard as I could. The two blasts of light struggled back and forth as they tried to overtake each other, but neither one of us seemed to be able to grab the upper hand. Finally, the backwash from the spells began to flood over both of us, and we were forced to release before there was an explosive aftermath.
Uriel’s body was heaving, and he was still nursing his right shoulder. “Foolish mortal,” the blond man growled. “You could have had a simple life. You could have just fucked a succubus and moved on with your shitty existence as if nothing had ever happened. But no, instead you had to go and get yourself involved in all of this, and for what? Just so you could have a couple good fucks?”
“Such a potty mouth,” I shot back. “I thought you were supposed to be Heaven’s golden boy?”
“Look at you!” the Archangel hissed. “Even now, against the greatest odds you’ve ever faced, you’re still cracking jokes. So arrogant.”
“Says the guy who wants to completely overthrow Heaven and Hell and take over,” I reminded him. “Talk about lofty goals.”
I really didn’t give a fuck about what Uriel was planning to do, but I had to keep him talking. Behind the blond Archangel, Raphael had pulled himself to his feet and drawn his Bowie knife. The dark-haired warrior was approaching Uriel stealthily, ready to go in for the killing blow.
&nb
sp; “You seem like a decent guy, Jacob,” Uriel admitted. “I’m actually somewhat sorry I have to kill you and your friends. But only a member of the Divine deserves the kind of power you have.”
“Ouch,” I mocked. “I didn’t realize you looked down on mortals so much.”
“Mortal?” he scoffed. “You think that’s the reason for all this? Trust me, Jacob, I wouldn’t--”
Before he could finish, Raphael drove the blade of his Bowie knife into the back of Uriel’s torso. The tip of the weapon shot through the Archangel’s chest and sent a spray of bluish-red blood onto the pavement. In one swift motion, Raphael pulled the knife out of the Archangel’s chest and sliced open the tendon in his right leg.
Uriel let out a grunt of pain as he fell to his knee and grabbed the gaping wound in his chest. As Raphael held the knife to his throat, he began to laugh maniacally.
“What’s so funny, Uriel?” Raph demanded. “You’ve lost.”
“No, my friend,” he chuckled, “I haven’t. Do you really think I would come out here with a tiny army of Daeva if I thought there was any possible chance I’d lose?”
“What are you getting at?” I snarled.
“This isn’t Uriel.” Raphael sighed. “At least, not all of him.”
“What do you mean ‘not all of him?’” I said in shock. “He seems pretty complete to me.”
“Foolish mortal,” Uriel laughed.
“One of Uriel’s powers is that of mirror magic, much like your Ira,” Raphael explained. “He can split himself into multiple clones, more than the Sister of Wrath, but unlike her, each one is less powerful than the Archangel himself.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “So you’re telling me that this guy,” I said as I pointed to the defeated Archangel, “this guy who defeated you handily and nearly took all of my strength to bring down, isn’t even Uriel at full power?”
“I’m afraid not.” Raph shook his head sadly.
“I was hoping one of my clones and a small group of Daeva would be sufficient to kill you, Jacob,” Uriel choked as blood dribbled down his mouth. “But it looks like I’m going to have to get my hands dirty, after all.”
“Fuck you,” I spat at the blond man who was now wearing a shit-eating grin on his face.
“See you sooooon!” He chuckled ominously.
The Uriel clone’s laughs were quickly silenced by the motion of Raphael’s knife across his throat. Bluish-red blood poured out onto the Archangel’s white robe, and then his lifeless body fell to the pavement with a wet plop.
“I was afraid that was the case,” Raphael said somberly as he wiped the blood off his knife with a cloth. “Uriel always defeats me handily when we spar in practice. I was doing too good against him this time, so I suspected something might be wrong.”
“Holy fuck,” I said as I rubbed my forehead. “This is bad.”
The Archangel put his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. “Yes, it is,” Raph admitted, “but now that we know Uriel’s true nature, we can prepare. The next time we face him, we will be ready.”
“Way to go, Raphey boy!” Todd’s voice exclaimed from above. “You got the sonofabitch!”
Libidine and Todd landed next to Raphael, both of their faces grinning happily. “We have taken out the remaining Daeva,” Liby explained proudly and pointed to the top of the hill.
Cupi, Sia, and Gula were standing in the opening of the large rock, and they were all covered with dark red demon blood. The succubi gave me a celebratory wave when they saw us looking, and I returned the gesture.
“That’s good to hear,” I smiled, “but our fight isn’t done yet.”
“What do you mean it’s not done yet?” Todd motioned dramatically to the Uriel clone’s body. “The dude literally had his throat cut, slaughterhouse style!”
“It’s complicated,” I promised the imp. “Let’s just get everybody rounded up and into the car before the cops get here. I can explain on the way back to the mansion.”
Maybe we were gonna need that roof-mounted minigun after all.
Chapter 14
“Wait,” Todd asked as we pulled up into the garage of our mansion. “You’re telling me that the guy we fought was only half of Urinal?”
“If even that.” Raphael sighed. “That could have been the Archangel at one-eighth of his power for all we know.”
“Well, whatever fraction it was,” I warned, “it was nearly too much for us to take alone. We’re going to have to step it up a notch if we want to defeat the real Uriel. That’s why we’re coming back here for now so that we can reload, rest, and plan our next move.”
The seven of us got out of the Jeep and headed toward the door.
“I’d imagine that the real Uriel couldn’t have gone far,” Libidine pondered aloud. “If his mission is to destroy us all, then he’d have to be somewhere within our area.”
“Or he’ll just keep sending assassins to take us out,” Cupi interjected.
“Bring ‘em on!” Gula said with a fist pump. “We make a pretty badass team. Honestly, I feel four times more powerful with Jacob than I did under Earl’s rule. We are a great team.”
“That’s the understatement of the millennium.” Sia chuckled.
“Earl wasn’t exactly a great leader,” Cupiditas added. “It’s hard to be a good team when your so-called ‘leader’ is so far up his own ass he can taste what he ate for lunch.”
“That’s probably why we were always on the losing side of those large battles.” Gula shrugged. “The Demon Kings may have been good strategizers, but they were waaay too ego-driven to actually function as one unit in battle.”
“I guess all they needed was Jacob!” Liby giggled. “He’s done things that nobody else in the history of the universe has done. I’m very sure he could have won all of those battles single-handedly!”
“See?” Todd spoke up from behind us. “It’s jokes like that that make Urinal see Jakey as a threat.”
“Agreed,” Raph added. “Jacob is one of the most powerful warriors I’ve ever had the pleasure to fight alongside with. Unfortunately, my former brother sees him as a dangerous usurper.”
“Usurper?” I laughed and unlocked the door of our home. “Usurper of what? I seriously just want to rescue the rest of the Circle of Sin, kill Azazel, and then retire to a life of luxury here in my mansion with my beautiful women.”
“I wish Uriel would see it that way,” the Archangel said as he shook his head. “He obviously thinks this is all the first step in some sort of master plan to take over the universe for yourself.”
“Well, he’s fucking crazy if he thinks that way.” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I could have told you that, bro,” Todd added. “I was getting some serious Nazi vibes from his little speech on the hill.”
“You get ‘Nazi vibes’ from everything, Todd,” I reminded the imp. “Remember when you were summoned for jury duty?”
The imp stopped in his tracks, put one hand on his hip, and put his finger in the air. “Forcing us away from our homes to sit in a cold, dark room with a bunch of strangers to decide the fate of somebody that we don’t even know?” he argued. “And it’s for a whole week? And they only serve you cold meat sandwiches? I dunno what else you call it, bro.”
“A pillar of democracy?” Raph suggested. “A trial by your peers?”
Todd just shook his head and stared at the Archangel with bulging eyes. “Oh no,” he gasped. “They got you too?”
“Well, well... look who’s back!” Ira’s voice called out happily.
The dark-haired succubus was still in formal attire from one of her campaign events. Her black hair dangled past the diamond-studded earrings she wore on her lobes, and there was a beautiful golden chain on her neck that ran all the way down to her cleavage. Ira had on a tight, one-piece purple dress that was bespeckled with sequins and hugged her tight body like a glove. On top of that, the succubus wore a blazer that was as black as her smooth hair.
Ira walked over
to us carefully as she tried not to trip over her own high-heels. “Have you heard the news?” she asked joyfully. “The latest polls are out, and I’m up by nearly thirty points!”
“Yeah,” Cupi explained, “that’s what generally happens when you expose somebody as being a sex trafficker.”
“You’d be surprised, my bodacious blonde,” Todd interrupted. “Politicians in this country get away with all sorts of shit like that. That’s why it’s so important that--”
“Finally!” Tris’ voice boomed as she stepped through the threshold of the entryway. “I’ve been waiting for you guys to get back for forever. It’s sooooo boring when you’re the only one home.”
“But, Sister Ira is here,” Libidine pointed out to the brunette succubus.
Tris looked over at Ira and frowned. “I totally didn’t see you there, sis.” The succubus shrugged. “I totally would have invited you to watch TV or play a game with me if I had.”
Ira extended a slender finger and tapped Tris’ nose like she was a cute puppy. “And I would have crushed you in any game we did play,” she reassured the Sister of Sloth. “I’ve been dying for some sort of release after a long day of political crap. I may be a sadomasochist, but the world of politics is rougher than even I could have imagined.”
“Exactly what I’ve been trying to tell you,” Todd started up again. “I--”
“So did you find Ariel or Utherial or whatever his name is?” Tris interrupted the imp.
“Oh, we found him alright.” I sighed and then motioned for everyone to follow me. “Come with me. You’re gonna want to sit down for this one.”
