“Are you telling me that the two of you have been using me from the very beginning?” I asked in disbelief. When Alex’s voice wasn’t forthcoming in my head, I said, “Answer me dammit!”
“Well…in the beginning, yes. That’s why Roberto accompanied you to The Scandinavian the night we met. Roberto was supposed to keep Janel occupied and let me concentrate on you. We agreed you were to be mine. I still can’t believe he took you. He broke honor with my family by taking you away from me and by betraying my sister. I wanted so badly to tell you the truth but he wouldn’t allow it.”
“Not allow it? What the hell, Alex? How can he have so much power over you?”
“Olivia, you have to understand vampire politics. It goes against everything we value to violate the rules, and Roberto has a lot of power within the council. I’ve never heard of Roberto bending council rules before. I’m not sure why he would risk everything the way he has.”
I wasn’t sure either. “Alex, can you do me a favor?”
Alex’s voice sounded hopeful when he said, “Sure Babe, anything for you.”
I ignored him and said, “Picture Annika in your mind. I want to see her.”
“Baby, I don’t think--”
“JUST DO IT!” I commanded.
There was no reply so I made myself close my eyes and concentrate on Alex. I was surprised to picture him sitting naked by a lake, his hair obviously wet. He had been having a moonlight swim. I reached out with my senses to see if anyone was with him…like a female, but I got a sense that he was by himself. He laid back and the moonlight washed over his muscular body. I couldn’t help but look at his manhood, which was quite large, as it lay nestled in a thatch of blond hair. Knowing I was connected to him he ran a hand down his chest, across his flat abdomen and lower.
“Annika,” I reminded him.
He sighed, and at once I got a vision of the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. No wonder Janel was a little put out by their meeting. She was sitting on top of a magnificent black horse. Her long blond hair was blowing in the breeze. Her eyes were an unbelievable green. Her pink perfect lips were turned up in a smile when she turned as another rider came into view.
It was Roberto and he was laughing. He scrambled off his horse and went over to Annika and helped her down.
I noted she had long legs and was just a few inches shorter than Roberto. She was everything that I wasn’t. Roberto pulled her to him and put his arm around her. They broke apart and turned to greet someone approaching them. Roberto looked back at Annika and it was with the same look of love he had given me so many times.
“Why would you show me that? That was beyond cruel Alex,” I whispered.
“I wasn’t trying to be cruel Olivia. That is just the last time I saw Annika. We were all out riding at Roberto’s family estate Castillo Durata. It was a nice evening.”
Alex sounded sad but I was too numb to care at the moment.
“How could you do this to me Alex? You said you loved me, but you used me.” Even though it hurt me to do so I said, “Don’t connect with me again. I’m through with you Alex. If you have any sense of decency you’ll leave me alone.”
“Olivia…please no…don’t ask me to do this. I love you, Baby. I only did what I had to do.”
I felt the red hot flame of anger licking at my belly and I said, “Promise me you will not connect with me ever again, Alex.”
Alex sighed “If that’s truly what you wish Olivia, then I can do nothing else but honor your wishes. But first I will have my say. Yeah, I did have an ulterior motive the first day I met you, but that doesn’t change the fact I fell in love with you. I will always love you. If you’d let me I would take you away from all of the pain you’ve endured and love you for the rest of our days.”
With that he was gone. I lay there for a long time not thinking about anything. It was as if my mind shut down. I wasn’t sure how long I laid there until I felt like I had to get up and get some air. I still didn’t want to go back into Roberto’s room so I borrowed some of Janel’s clothing. The jeans were a little long so I rolled them up and grabbing a jacket went down the stairs. I could hear voices in the kitchen and decided to go out the front door. I didn’t want to encounter anyone. When I stepped outside I wasn’t sure which way to go. I stood for a minute and closed my eyes. I reached out with my mind searching for a sign. My mind cleared and I had a clear picture where I should go, so I started walking towards the lake.
Chapter 3
When I got to the lake I let instinct take over and walked along the shore in a northern direction. Dusk was beginning to descend and though my rational mind said I should probably head back, my heart wanted to keep walking. Even though I recognized that I was distraught, my sense of self preservation made sure that while I was walking, I kept the lake in view.
My mind turned over everything that I heard in the last few hours. Some things began to make more sense to me now. I remembered how I tried really hard to get Roberto to bite me and how reluctant he had been. It was probably due to the fact that he saved that particular foreplay for Annika. With my vivid imagination it was all too easy to picture the two of them in my mind. Roberto with his dark hair, high Roman nose and strong jaw. Oh God, how I loved to kiss his stubbled jaw.
Sometimes, while I rode him to ecstasy, I would bend down and run my tongue over his jaw to his ear which would make him growl…What the hell was I doing? The man betrayed me and all I could think about was fucking him? I was sick beyond repair. My anger burned. How could he make love to me with such passion and love someone else at the same time?
The anger began to wane and was soon replaced with despair as I thought of the images Alex showed me. I had never seen Roberto look as happy and carefree as when he was with Annika. They looked perfect together. I remembered Roberto’s brother Cristoforo telling me how I wasn’t Roberto’s usual type. He preferred tall, long legged blondes. Well, no doubt about it, Annika fit that bill.
I wasn’t sure how long I walked, but my legs were beginning to ache, so I looked for a place to sit down. Walking into the tree line I found a rather pretty little patch of high soft grass. The area was surrounded by tall trees on all sides. It was secluded. Not that I need worry about being bothered out here, in the middle of nowhere. Making myself comfortable on the grass, I looked up at the stars. I was glad the night wasn’t too cool. Letting out a long sigh I wondered how I had come to this point. My parents were gone, I was facing an uncertain future with strange new abilities, and once again my love life was in shambles. I began to weep. Already I was grieving the loss of Roberto and all that we shared the last few months.
I’m not sure how long I lay there weeping, but I must have drifted off to sleep. The next thing I knew I was dreaming about my silver wolf who comes to me often in my dreams, and who I now affectionately refer to as Bullet. It was a strange dream.
Usually when I dream about Bullet, the dream is full of meaning and symbolism. One time he came to me while I was being attacked by a Vampire that was working for The Guardians. At that time he leant me his strength so I could fight back and kill the vampire before he killed me. I hadn’t dreamt of Bullet since that time, but here I was now dreaming of him and he didn’t offer me any wisdom or direction. All he offered me was warmth. I was dreaming that Bullet came and laid his large body beside me and closed his eyes and went to sleep.
I opened my eyes and was surprised to see it was daylight. The sun wasn’t beating down on me yet so I gathered that it was still early morning. I turned my head and found myself staring into a pair of grey eyes.
Gasping and jumping to my feet I watched as a large silver wolf got up on his legs and shook his body.
He sat back on his haunches and stared at me as if to say “What’s your problem?”
I wasn’t scared of him, just a little nervous. Slowly squatting down I said, “Bullet?”
I watched warily as he stood back up and came over and licked my hand.
I smiled then
“Well, well…you’ve finally come to visit me with me then?”
A few months ago I might have thought I had an aneurysm. Now, I didn’t think twice that a huge wolf stepped out of my dreams and into my life.
I began to stroke his fur. He really was a magnificent animal. The only previous encounters I had with wolves had been at zoos. This wolf seemed larger than the ones I’d seen. He came up to my waist and was probably close to six feet long.
I knelt next to him “You’re a big boy aren’t you? What are you doing out here anyway? Are you hungry?” I asked him as my stomach rumbled. I wasn’t sure why I asked him when I had no food to give him. I didn’t even have any food for myself. With a nudge of his muzzle against my hip he almost unbalanced me. “Hey…watch it.” I scolded him. He stood looking at me and once more pushed me with his wet nose.
“What…what do you want?”
He started walking away back toward the lake.
“Ahhh…you want me to follow you?” Sighing I thought I might as well. He never led me astray before. Of course, back then he was a figment of my imagination.
“Okay Bullet. Lead the way.” I followed him almost all of the way out of the thick trees when he stopped next to a line of bushes. As I got closer I saw they were raspberry bushes. I stood and stared at the bushes remembering how I used to pick raspberries with my Mom in the woods near our house. I came out of my reverie when I felt Bullet licking my hand once more.
I shook my head to clear it of the painful memories, and began to pick the berries and eat them. They were delicious. I looked over at Bullet who stood there watching me with what I swear was amusement. That was one thing that I wasn’t going to face just yet, that this animal was some sort of mystical beast.
Roberto once suggested that Bullet was my spirit guide.
At the thought of Roberto I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I doubled over from the intensity of the pain and dropped to my knees and threw up the berries I had just eaten. The pain was so bad that I curled into a fetal position and laid there keening. Bullet came over and began licking my face and eventually I calmed down. I felt exhausted and welcomed the warm softness against me as Bullet lay down beside me once again. Without even realizing it, I drifted off to sleep.
I was dreaming. I knew this was a dream, yet the word vision kept popping into my head. I was walking along a rocky beach. I saw a path that led into a grove of trees. Unconsciously I moved toward the path. Bullet walked beside me. It was cool beneath the towering trees and we walked for a little while in comfort. When we broke free of the trees we were still on the dirt path but walking through a large meadow with the hot sun beating down on us. I hoped wherever we were going wasn’t too far. The path took us up a slight incline and when we reached the top, I stopped to stare in wonderment at what lay before us. It was a village of sorts. I suddenly felt as if I’d stepped back in time a hundred years or so. It appeared to be a replica of a Native American village.
Not the kind with teepees, but with several longhouses. Enchanted by the scene before me, I stepped up my pace to hurry for a closer look. As I got closer to the outskirts of the village, I slowed down to smile at a young boy who was playing with a ball in a net attached to a long stick. He stopped, looked at me and Bullet with shock, and ran off toward the village. I looked down at Bullet and said, “Look what you did. You scared that poor boy. Maybe you should stay here. A huge wolf is not conveying a picture of friendliness I suppose.”
Bullet cocked his head to the side as if he was amused with me and continued to walk beside me. When we reached the edge of the village I saw people had begun to gather outside their huts. Some of them were dressed in authentic Native American clothes of tunics for the women and breechcloths for the men. Though several wore jeans and work shirts. Even though the people were strangers to me, I felt no fear as I walked forward. It felt as if I had been here before even though I knew I hadn’t. When I came abreast of the first group of people, they quickly bowed their heads. The same thing happened as I walked down the path between the longhouses.
When I reached the end of the path, a group of people parted to reveal an old woman who, though looking frail stood strait and proud. She wore a tunic of soft deerskin with beautiful intricate beading around the bottom.
Without even realizing why I was doing it, I bowed my head to her in a show of respect. She stepped forward and took my hand between her gnarled ones.
“Nya:weh segeno, Welcome, Sensay. You are here in the spirit world and we await you in this world. Come quickly. You have much to do and learn.” With that she turned and walked away. As I watched she turned slowly and much to my astonishment gave me a saucy wink.
I stood there for a minute not knowing what to do. Bullet nudged me with his wet nose and got me moving. I turned to walk back down the road and found myself up against a hard male body. Strong arms wrapped around me so I wouldn’t loose my balance. I looked up and found myself looking into a pair of hard black eyes. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. There was no smile on the man’s handsome face. He had short black hair and a days worth of dark stubble along his jaw.
His denim work shirt was open, and I couldn’t stop myself from staring at his smooth chest and down lower where he had the tightest and most defined abs I’d ever seen. I knew instinctively this man didn’t get those abs from visits to a gym.
I could picture him with his shirt off on a hot summer day, chopping wood, sweaty and breathing hard.
I heard the man give a mocking little chuckle and realized that he was aware of my imaginings.
All he said was, “You better toughen up little Sensay. Stop letting the fucking vampires make you cry.”
I pulled out of his arms and quickly walked back the way I had come. The man may be hot but he was also rude and arrogant. When I reached the meadow, I turned to look back down the hill at the village but it was gone. In its place were tall pine trees.
I woke up with something tickling my ear. Opening my eyes I saw Bullet stretched out beside me once more. It was his fur that was tickling my ear. With bleary eyes I saw I was still near the raspberry bushes that I had eaten from earlier, though now it was almost dusk. What the hell? How long had I been asleep? I stood and stretched my stiff limbs.
I smiled as I watched Bullet shake himself off in almost the same manner. Then he looked me in the eye as if to say what now? The dream was still vivid in my mind. “I’ll tell you what now, Bullet. We go back and face the fucking vampires. And then we go and find that village. I got some Sensay training to do.”
I turned and started walking back the way I came knowing instinctively which direction I needed to go to get me back to Roberto’s.
It no longer pained me to think of him. Now it just made me angry. The red glow was constantly with me now. Walking beside me, I knew Bullet was aware of my anger because every so often he would let out a low menacing growl on my behalf. It was full dark when we got close to Roberto’s. I knew we were close because I could hear voices. It sounded as if they were getting a search party ready to go looking for me. I heard Janel weeping, Antonio muttering about flashlights, and I heard Roberto cursing. So the bastard was back. I faltered for a second and when I did I realized that the sounds back at the house were now quiet. Roberto knew I was coming.
Good, I thought to myself as I put a little smile on my face and began to move forward again. This reunion was not going to be the sweet gathering that sonofabitch thinks it will be.
Chapter 4
When Bullet and I broke free of the tree line I saw Roberto running across the meadow towards me, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw us. Good…he looked uneasy all of a sudden. We walked to within ten feet of him and stopped directly in front of him. I stared at him hard for a minute and decided to dismiss him and began walking around him.
He grabbed my arm “Olivia…please.”
Bullet growled and moved between us. Roberto dropped my arm. I stared at him with hard eyes “Plea
se what, Roberto? Please forgive me for lying to you for months, please forgive me for being bonded to another, please forgive me for fucking you every night and letting you think I loved you?”
Roberto’s eyes blazed. “I do love you Olivia. You know that’s true.”
My own eyes blazed back at him, “Hmmm. Okay…how about the first time we made love? Did you love me then Roberto?”
He eyes shifted away from me. I continued, “How about the second time? No answer, huh? I thought as much.”
Once more I started walking away when Roberto said, “That’s it then Olivia? You’re not going to let me tell my story?”
I spun around fast and slapped his face hard. “Fuck you Roberto! You had months to tell me your story.”
I walked away again and this time he did not follow me.
Everyone was standing on the front porch, Janel, Antonio, Andy and Mark. The men were not looking at me, but Janel stood there with tears running down her face and started for me with her arms outstretched until she saw Bullet at my side.
“It’s okay. He won’t hurt you.”
Janel looked at us unbelievably, “I don’t know Olivia, your dog is huge and he looks hungry.”
“He’s a wolf, not a dog and he is hungry. Antonio, can you find something for Bullet to eat while I pack?”
When I said the word pack everyone’s head snapped up. “Yeah, I said pack. I’m leaving here tonight.”
“You don’t have to leave tonight. Why don’t you wait until the morning?” Roberto spoke quietly from behind me.
I spun around “No. I need to leave tonight. I am anxious to start my life. Don’t you remember? You’re the one that told me I have a destiny. I’m just going to fulfill it.”
Roberto sighed. “I understand Piccolina, but you can fulfill your destiny in the morning as easy as you can tonight.”
“Don’t call me that! You have no right to call me that anymore! Don’t you understand what you’ve done Roberto? You haven’t just broken my heart, you have destroyed it. I let you into a place where I have never let anyone else, and you lied to me, you used me and you made a mockery out of the word love.”
Jude Stephens Page 2
