by Bry Ann
I was crying now. I moved everything away from her head. I sent the nurse home all because I was selfish. Just like I didn’t ask Logan for help because I was scared… and selfish. This was all my fault. I tried so fucking hard to save her, that’s all that had ever mattered to me, and I failed her.
I failed her.
I leaned over and sent everything on the table crashing to the floor so that I could grab my phone. Somehow, I was able to dial 9-1-1 despite how badly my hands were shaking.
“Hello, hello,” I yelled into the phone.
“What’s your emergency?” the stoic voice responded.
“My mom is having a seizure. Send someone fast. Please!” I cried before hanging up.
“Mom please,” I begged her as her frail body shook violently on the floor. “Come back to me. Please come back.”
I cried, and it took no time at all for three men to come in with a stretcher. They rushed around and shoved me to the side.
“You can ride with us. Get in the front seat!” one of them shouted.
I quickly ran into the car and slammed the door. I couldn’t see in the back.
“What’s going on?” I shouted.
“She’s not seizing anymore,” a voice called out.
I took a deep breath and collapsed in my seat. My whole body went limp. She was alive.
“You okay?” the older driver asked, turning to me.
I bit my lower lip to hold back my tears and nodded.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You know kid, I lost my parents in a car crash at nineteen and never got over it. Even to this day it hurts like hell. I have my own family now, and they support me, but it’s okay not to be okay sometimes.”
I ignored him as we pulled up to the hospital. I ran next to my mom as they pushed her down the hallway. She was weak but still held my hand the whole way down the hallway. They were getting ready to pull her into the room to do testing or operate or whatever when my mom squeezed my hand a little tighter.
“It’ll be okay Sam. Be smart…” her voice faded away when she entered the room.
I collapsed in the hallway with my head on my knees. No tears would come out. I was there for a minute before I felt a hand pull me up from my underarm and I was back on my feet. I figured it was Dr. Pescowl, but when I glanced up with tired eyes I was looking at Logan.
“Logan, what are you doing here?”
My world was spinning. I was going to pass out.
“Your mom,” he said. “Now let’s get you to the waiting room.”
“She…”
“Called me. From the ambulance, to ask if I’d make sure you were okay.”
“She did?”
As I spoke my knees gave out from underneath me as the realization that my dying, seizing mother had Logan check on me while she in an ambulance. How’d I get so lucky?
“Woah,” Logan said. He caught me before I slammed on the ground. “I got you, Sam.”
I didn’t know what was going on. My vision was blurry, and I was beyond dizzy. I let Logan wrap my arm around his shoulders so that I could get to the waiting room.
“Dana’s waiting in there for you and no one else. I asked if we could have a more isolated room because, well, you know… my life.”
I nodded and tried not to collapse as everything seemingly fell apart around me. We got in there, and Logan gently set me down on the bench. Dana immediately came over and practically pulled me into her lap. I let my head fall on her shoulder. She rubbed my hair as I sat there frozen and scared.
“I’m here for you Sam. Okay? It’ll be okay. Somehow it will be,” she whispered in my ear.
I glanced at Logan who was seated across from us with his hand on his chin eyeing me skeptically. He was still mad. He was here for my mom, not me.
“Why did you come?” I said to Logan as I lifted my head off of Dana’s shoulder. I could see her wince out of the corner of my eye. “I mean why? If you hate me so much.”
“I see you are feeling more like yourself again.”
“How about we wait to have this conversation,” Dana cut in desperately.
“No. Thank you two for coming. Honestly, but I think you should go. I don’t ...” I sighed. “Just go.” I looked directly at Logan, “You know you should.”
He nodded. “Let’s go, Dana.” He stood up and extended his hand to her.
She stood up. “No! Are you insane? Her mom is dying!”
“She is a drug dealer Dana! Stop being so damn naive and getting yourself hurt. Now we are leaving,” he tugged her arm, and I watched as her heartbroken face was pulled from the room.
I let my head fall into my hands. It was bad enough Logan hated me, now Dana was going to have to stay away from me too…. And I was going to lose my mom. I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Mentally, I knew that was the road I was headed towards.
Dr. Pescowl came in twenty minutes later to let me know my mom was out of the procedure. She was okay, but he said that I should prepare to say goodbye soon.
“Sam,” he said before he left. “You’ve done everything you possibly could. You are incredible. This has been a fifteen-year battle. It must end at some point, okay? Let me know if you need anything.”
I wanted to yell at my mom for wanting to quit, yell at the doctor for encouraging her too, but instead, I ran to the familiar spot in the hospital I had known since I was a child. As tears stung my eyes, I ran down the hallway, to the left at the very end of the hall. There was a janitor's closet there that was full of stuff that was never used. It was dark, and I could hide behind all the crap stored in there. I could hide from the world. I hadn’t resorted to going in there in years, but I was losing her. I was finally going to lose her. My mom. I slammed the door behind me and tucked myself into as small of a ball as I could. I cried. Not even a little bit either. Full of body shaking tears. I was there for probably forty-five minutes before the door opened and light flooded my private space. I didn’t even look up until I heard a deep voice.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Sam?” Logan said sounding broken.
“Tell you what?” I still didn’t look up. “What are you doing here? You can’t keep coming back in my life just to leave again. I can’t handle it, Logan. I can’t.” My voice broke.
“Look at me Sam.”
I nodded my head no and kept it tucked between my knees. Logan crouched down in front of me and put his finger under my chin. He shut the door behind him.
“Why didn’t you tell me why you did it?”
“Did what? How did you know where I was?” I sniffled. My face was probably a snotty, teary mess.
“I talked to Dr. Pescowl Sam,” Logan said as he sat down next to me in the dark, stuffy closet.
“What?”
“He told me everything. How you’ve been coming in here since you were seven. About the experimental procedure that costs $100,000. How obsessed you became with it. How you’ve paid for everything since you were a teen all by yourself. It all makes sense.”
I kept giving Logan a pained expression and then somehow pulled myself together.
“So, you know everything. So what?”
“It means…” Logan said scooting closer to me. “I get it, and I’m so incredibly sorry for not having more faith in you.”
I instantly surrendered. I needed him. I put my head on his shoulder. “I’ve missed you so much.”
He rubbed my hair and gave a small smile. “I know.”
I shot up. “Well fuck you and your ego.”
He laughed. “Nice pajamas by the way.”
I looked down at my tan flannel pajama bottoms and white spaghetti strap tank top. “You suck.”
Logan smiled and then rubbed his hand down my arm, and I jerked away. Oh no. That felt like more than friends.
“No. You’ve been on your sexscapade in LA. Don’t even pretend you are interested in me now. Okay? I need simple. Black and white.”
“What if I want that too?”
“Oh, now you do?” I practically shrieked. “Now that you’ve fucked everyone in LA. Go fuck yourself Logan!”
With that, the door opened and the sun shined in again. It was Dr. Pescowl. I stood up and gave a sheepish smile.
“Hi Sam,” he said smiling. “Always in the closet.”
Both Logan and I laughed.
“Your mom wants to talk to you.”
I nodded, and the doctor walked away. There was still tension between Logan and I.
“Where’s Dana?”
“In the car. Pissed at me.”
“Yeah. Well deserved. You were a complete asshole to her, and I hope you make it up to her later,” I said pointing my finger at his chest.
“I’m never gonna win with you two around. She’s supposed to my sister,” he joked.
“You have the rest of America. Besides you’d never win anyway.” I winked. My face fell though as I thought about what I was going to say next.
“Logan, you should go. We’re confused. I’m confused. You are fun, but I need to be serious right now, and I need a friend. So go find out what the hell you want from me and stay away until you do.”
“Sam, I li….”
“No,” I said putting my hand up. “Go think first.”
He walked away with his hands in his pockets. I walked towards my mom’s room wiping a tear from my eye. He told me he liked me then. After LA. I would have given him a chance if he just kept his dick in his pants on his trip. I hated him so much. Well, the real problem was that deep down I didn’t hate him. I loved him. Really from the moment, he took me to the lake I knew I had feelings for him. I couldn’t have him toying with my fragile emotions. I wasn’t the type to give them to people easily, and I would not have somebody stomping all over them.
I walked into my mom’s room slowly, like I think everyone does when entering the hospital room of someone they love.
“Hi, Mom. How are you?”
I gently approached her bedside.
“I’m good Sammie,” she patted the side of the bed for me to sit down. I did and held onto her hand the second I was seated.
“You feeling okay?”
“I’m fine baby. I promise.” She wiped under my eye where the tears were. “Now it's your turn Sammie? I don’t always ask for the reasons behind the things you do or for your honesty because I know you but for today,” she said gesturing to the hospital room, “Well I think it’s time you talked. This wouldn’t have anything to do with a boy now would it?”
“A boy?” I squeaked out. “No! I mean how crazy would that be. You’re in the hospital, I’ve got other problems and work and I don’t like anyone and haven’t seen anyone and so no it’s not about a boy.”
“Wow, I'm exhausted. Have you convinced yourself that that’s not what’s bothering you yet?” she laughed.
I couldn’t help but giggle at that, and she smiled.
“It’s Logan isn’t it?”
“It wasn’t up until five freaking minutes ago! I didn’t even like him. Like I swear I didn’t. Then he...ugh… he tells me he likes me after going to LA and sleeping around when he knew...he knew he liked me too.”
My mom sighed and squeezed my hand.
“Sam, you know better than anybody what it is like to care about someone and be terrified because of it. Also, have you even talked to Logan to see if he did indeed sleep with these women and it wasn’t just press?”
“We did talk!”
“Did you listen?”
She knew me too well.
“I mean… I don’t need to! I already know.”
“Sam that boy cares about you. I’m not saying you guys are gonna get married and live happily ever after, but he deserves a chance.”
“You are wrong. I only need you.”
“Sam…” my mom groaned.
Before she could argue Dr. Pescowl came in the room. “Hi, Sam. Will you just sign this for me so your mom can get started?”
“Get started?”
“Yeah, the experimental procedure?”
“I haven’t paid Dr. Pescowl.”
Realization dawned on his face, and he lowered his clipboard.
“Sam, Logan Prescott and his sister, Dana I believe her name was, ran into me on their way out of the hospital. Ms. Prescott pulled me aside and asked why you were acting so strange. I said I didn’t know. That’s when Mr. Prescott started asking questions about you. He sent his sister to the car and paid for the procedure on the spot.”
“What?” I said grateful I was already seated. I temporarily leaned on my mom. “He did what?”
“He paid for it Sam. Your mom is pretty far gone, and I told him the chances were very slim that it would work, but we are going to give it a try. Please sign so we can get started.”
I signed the form and the doctor had the nurse that I didn’t even realize was next to him stick something in her IV. I was standing now and staring blank-faced at the IV cord. Logan was leaving. I could lose him. I had pushed him away. I had to talk to him now! I looked at my mom, and she gave me a soft smile.
“Go,” she gently encouraged. “I’ll be here when you get back.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been surer of anything,” she said with a wink.
I went over and kissed her and then sprinted out of the room.
“I’ll be right back,” I yelled back at her.
I sprinted down the hall and the stairs. The elevator was too slow. I was on the first floor in a heartbeat and flew past a few older people who narrowed their eyes at me. The minute I opened the double doors I saw Logan getting ready to get inside his tinted Cadillac.
“Logan!” I yelled. “Logan!”
He turned around and furrowed his eyebrows. His bodyguards moved aside. I sprinted forward directly into his arms, forcing his body to slam into back of his car.
“What the….”
I immediately planted my lips on his and at first, he tensed up from the shock but then he relaxed and grabbed the back of my head flipping me around, so I was backed against the car and not him. I felt his tongue, and I immediately opened my mouth for him and wrapped my arms around his waist. We made out like teenagers and then pulled away panting. I looked down at the ground and then meekly up to him.
“You didn’t sleep with those women did you?”
He smiled. “No, I didn’t. I wanted to. Tried to. I walked out with them and then backed out. Night after night. I wanted to forget you and your pain and anger and resistance to letting me in. I’ve never fallen in love, and then I did with the one woman who refused to love anyone.”
I kissed him. “You paid for my mom’s procedure…”
“Of course I did Sam. If you would have just asked me in the first place I would have done it then and saved you a lot of heartache.”
“But it’s $100,000.”
“I can afford it.”
I looked at my feet and then back in his eyes.
“Thank you,” I somehow got out through the haze of hormones running through my body. Logan didn’t laugh. His eyes clouded over and he looked at me. I blinked and took a step toward him. He reached out and wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed me. I whimpered and pushed my body closer to his. He pulled away from me and glanced at the car.
“Uh, Dana?” I didn’t want to be protesting. I needed him, but I wasn’t about to scar Dana for life.
“If you know her you know where she is.”
“The waiting room.”
“Yep, giving you privacy but wanting to be there if you needed her.”
“She’s a saint.”
“I know,” he said. He quickly texted her I was down there with him.
“So… what happens now?”
“I’ll show you.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the car. He swiftly pushed me down on the backseat and shut the door behind me. Thank God for tinted windows. Thank God, the bodyguards were outside. Immediately Logan stuck his hands down my tank top and star
ted massaging my breasts. I moaned, and he smiled as he removed his shirt. I traced my hands down his abs.
“Remove your pants.”
He did in one quick motion, and then I pulled off his boxers. He threw them in the front seat. His body was incredible. Perfect from head to toe. If I wasn’t already overcome with lust before I was now. He looked at me dangerously. There was a very lustful darkness in his eyes when he aggressively threw me against the back seat again.
“Ow,” I giggled. “You are crazy.”
He looked at me darkly.
“Hold the door handle,” he barked.
Logan was very alpha during sex I was learning. I reached back, holding the door handle at an awkward angle. He pulled me back and climbed further on top of me. Yeah, it was no longer awkward.
“Don’t let go.”
“I won’t.”
He put one leg on his shoulder and immediately put his tongue on my clit. I moaned and circled my hips around trying to get some relief from the explosion building inside me. Right, when I was about to go over the edge Logan pulled away, and I let out a frustrated moan.
“You better finish what you started or so help me we will never do this again.”
Logan busted out laughing.
“Well, I can’t have that.”
With that sentiment, he stuck two fingers inside me and slowly pushed them in and out. He was killing me.
“You are purposely torturing me,” I growled.
“Yeah,” he laughed. “It’s revenge. Sex is the only time you can’t hold back your feelings.”
“Well I’m done fucking playing.”
“You are, are you? Well then flip over for me.”
“What?” I gasped and let me hands go.
“Trust me,” he smirked.
Okay, with the hot yet soft expression he was giving me there was no way I wasn’t going to trust him. To explore this with him. I flipped around and waved my ass in his face.
He grabbed my waist and started stroking my clit. I was so wet I could feel my sex pulsing, begging for relief. In an instant Logan was inside my ass, filling me. I let out a weird sound and then he started pumping in and out of me quickly. It didn’t take long before I saw stars and felt my whole body start shaking. Logan supported my weight as he flipped my limp body over.
