by Autumn Avery
A loud laugh escapes Jenny’s lips. “Natalia?”
“Yeah!”
“Yeah, she’s not Russian. Her real name’s Bree and she’s from Hartford. She’s usually the hostess, but she’s been dancing a bit lately.”
“You’re joking!” I say.
“Nope.”
“So that’s why she sounded like someone had hit her over the head.”
“Yeah, that accent is pretty terrible,” Jenny laughs. “But she thinks it’s somehow exotic or something. The rest of us have tried telling her, but she doesn’t listen.”
I know I should say something back, or laugh at her joke, but we’re going over the Red Bridge now, and that means we’re getting close. I clench my free hand and bite my lip, doing my best not to lose it. We pass the old yellow mill and that’s when I see it.
Right there, on the corner of Cherry St. and Main, the old blue house I used to live in with my wife and daughter. Everything in my mind tells me not to look, but I can’t help it. And as I gaze past Jenny, out the window, and see the grassy front lawn, the battered front porch and the tire swing hanging from the oak tree on the corner of the lot, all the memories come flooding back.
Thankfully, we pass the house quickly, and I’m able to turn back and concentrate on driving, but Jenny has seen and I can feel her eyes on me.
“Are you okay?” she asks me. I feel my heart jump in my chest, and my knuckles whiten around the steering wheel.
“Fine,” I lie, stepping on the gas, eager to get to her place. I turn down Columbia Ave, and take the last right onto Maple. “Which one?” I say quickly.
“Twenty-four,” she says. It’s clear she knows something’s wrong, but she’s not pressing the matter, which is good, because I don’t know how much longer I can keep it together. I’ve gone out of my way to avoid this part of town, and coming back here was not a good idea. I should have just let her take a cab.
I spot her apartment building, a dingy old converted house that looks like it needed a remodeling at least fifteen years ago. I pull up to the front, my heart still battering around inside my chest.
“So … thanks?” Jenny says beside me. I turn to her and give her the best smile I can.
“No problem.” She looks at me hard for a second, like she wants to say something. I hold my breath. Finally, she decides against it and picks up her purse.
“Okay, well I’d invite you in for a drink, but my dogs hate men and might end up killing you.”
“That’s okay, I can’t stay,” I say. I need to get out of here. I need to leave this whole part of town in my rear view mirror.
“All right,” she says. “Well. Thanks again.”
“Yup, have a good night.”
She climbs out of the truck, and I don’t even wait for her to get inside before I slam my foot on the gas. My tires squeal and I am off down the street in an instant, heading for the highway and out of town.
7
Jenny
I watch Ty’s truck peel away from me and down the street.
Did I do something wrong?
I know I didn’t, but I can’t help but feel that way. It was something back in town. Something upset him. It must have been that house we passed, the blue one on the corner. I saw him looking at it, even though he was trying his best not to let me notice.
What could have happened to make him so upset? I feel like I met two men tonight: the cocky, pushy jerk at the bar, and the mysterious, complicated man who rescued me, cleaned me up and took me home. Those types of personalities don’t seem like they should co-exist in the same man. Ty is more complex than I thought.
I watch his truck take a right and speed out of sight.
Where is he going? I wonder.
Part of me wanted him to come inside. I know I shouldn’t. My kids are home, my son is probably upset, and my dogs would kill him, but I at least thought he’d ask. I feel somehow rejected. Not even an hour ago he was pestering me to take my shirt off, and now he’s not even trying to put the moves on me?
In my profession, you get used to men hitting on you. It’s literally part of the job, but you also get accustomed to dealing with it. There’s the rude guys, the ones who think they’re clever or suave, the ones who pretend they’re shy, and the obvious dickheads that think they can buy their way into your life.
But Ty isn’t fitting into any of those groups. He doesn’t even seem like the kind of guy who would want to be at the club. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy I can even think of a label for right now. And he’s so ridiculously good looking.
I hear shouting from my building and force myself out of my daydreaming. My neighbors again. Of course my landlord didn’t mention them when I moved in, but ever since then it’s been a nightmare. If they’re not fighting, they’re fucking like rabbits, and saying the weirdest things to each other.
“Yea, daddy’s gonna make you his little ice cream employee,” was the last thing I heard him say to her. This was four in the morning, and I’d been dancing since six that night. All I wanted was to get some sleep, and I hear that weirdness coming through the wall into my ear.
“You gonna give me a raise?” she had countered.
“Only if you make the shakes real good.”
I roll my eyes and turn towards my apartment. Tonight they’re fighting. It’s always over something stupid. I’ve learned not to listen too hard anymore, and my daughter Ella usually has her ear buds in, but they really upset Josh. He has a hard time in certain social situations and around certain people. Ever since Colin and I split up he hasn’t been a huge fan of men. I have a rule not to bring men around my children unless it’s something that’s going to be serious, and that hasn’t happened in a long time.
A long time …
The lock is still sticking as I slide my key into the slot. I pull hard against the door and manage to get the deadbolt to turn. At least it will be hard to break into if any scum bags come around.
It’s hot in the kitchen as I step inside and close and lock the door behind me. I set my purse down and kick off my heels.
God that feels better.
Ella is in the living room watching T.V. and playing on her phone at the same time. I’m surprised she doesn’t have her laptop out as well.
“How long’s this been going on?” I ask her. She barely looks up, but is clearly annoyed. As she should be.
“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “Too long. We really need to get out of here, mom.”
“I know, Ella. All right? I’ve had a rough night, just take it easy.”
She rolls her eyes and goes back to whatever she’s doing on her phone. Typical teenage girl.
Josh’s room is down the hall on the left, as far away from the neighbor’s walls as I could get him, but with the noise they’re making tonight, nowhere is safe. I knock gently, our special knock that we share, before opening his door.
Josh is sitting on his bed with his legs up and his arms wrapped around them. Ella must have turned on the string of Christmas lights I hung around his bedframe. Josh insisted on bunk beds, even though he doesn’t share the room with anyone. He likes the bottom bunk, and we hung blankets on all sides so he can turn it into a fort whenever he feels like. I’m surprised he hasn’t shut the front blanket and closed himself inside. He’s been doing well lately. He’s getting much better.
“Hey, Josh,” I say, coming over and sitting down beside him. “How are you?”
“Okay,” he says quietly, obviously not okay.
“Are the neighbors bothering you?” I ask him. He simply nods. “Do you want to read some of your dinosaur book?”
“No, that’s okay,” he says.
“You sure? You want me to lay with you for a bit?”
I see his eyes brighten as he looks up at me.
“Okay, let’s do that,” I say. I pull his dinosaur comforter back and let him slide his legs under. “Okay, make some room!”
He scoots over slightly and I lie down beside him, wrapping my ar
m around him and gently patting his head. I can hear his breathing slow immediately. It is very hard to have a son like Josh, but I love him as much as any mother could love her son, and I cherish these moments with him. Josh relies on me more than boys his age, or at least is more able to admit it, and as hard as his life will be, we have a bond that will never be broken.
My neighbors are stomping around like it’s the Super Bowl up there, but I can feel Josh starting to relax, and it’s not too long before he’s asleep. I almost want to lie here and fall asleep with him, but I’m a wreck and I need to shower to wash the club off me. Getting into bed with the sweat of strangers and the smell of smoke and alcohol is not high on my list of things to do.
Once I’m sure Josh is asleep, I gently slip out of bed and turn off his lights. I make my way quietly out of his room and close the door behind me.
“Why aren’t you in bed?” I ask Ella, who is texting frantically from the couch.
“I was watching Josh,” she says, doing her best to come up with an excuse.
“Uh, huh. Well I’m home. Josh is asleep. You should be too.”
“Mom, I’m texting Jason,” she says excitedly, as though that’s going to change my mind. I stride quickly over to her and snatch her phone from her hands.
“Hey!”
“Even more of a reason for you to go to bed.”
“Mom!”
“He’s a senior, Ella. You’re a freshman.” I say emphatically, stuffing her phone into my back pocket.
“So!?” she exclaims. “You dated older guys when you were my age.”
“Yes I did. And that’s why I know that guys like him only want one thing, and you are not ready to be doing that thing.”
“Okay, okay, just let me text him goodnight—”
“Nope,” I say, turning away. “Turn off the T.V. and get to bed. You have to take the bus tomorrow, my car’s still in the shop.”
Ella groans dramatically, but listens. I hear the T.V. click off and her angry footsteps as she tromps down the hall to her room.
“Quiet!” I shout in a whisper. “Josh is sleeping.”
If she could slam her door she would, but I hear it close behind her.
The joys of motherhood.
Time for mom to relax. I step into the bathroom and turn the shower on hot and full blast. This apartment takes forever for the water to heat up, so I examine tonight’s damage in the mirror. My face is a mess. My make up is streaked and runny, and I look like a wet dog. My t-shirt is looking pretty ratty, but I don’t care. I strip down and kick my clothes into the corner and feel the water. It’s warm enough. I step into the shower and slide the curtain closed. The hot water feels amazing on my skin. It smells like lavender. Ella bought new soap, and I use it to lather up my entire body, washing tonight off the best I can. Everything that’s been going on has made me forget just how exhausted I am.
One of my favorite things to do on a night like this is to lie down and just let the hot water beat down on me, and that’s exactly what I do now. The tub is warm against my back and I run my hands over my face, letting the heat sink into my bones.
I could stay here forever, I think, letting the sound of the running water drown out the obnoxious voices of my neighbors.
What a night, I think, closing my eyes. The image of Ty’s handsome, smiling face fills my mind. His cocky grin standing at the bar. Then out in the parking lot as he took care of those guys. Where did he learn to fight like that? He carries himself like a man who’s not afraid of anything, and I can see why. Those guys never stood a chance.
My ex-husband Colin was hopeless. He had a temper too and was always ready to snap at anyone. Probably because he had a small dick. Ty is really his opposite. Tall, in shape, tattooed. I bet he’s his opposite in that region too…
I don’t know if it’s being naked in the hot shower, or Ty’s good looks, or the replay of him kicking butt in the parking lot, but suddenly I’m feeling very turned on. As afraid as I was in that moment, I can’t help but wonder what I would have done if Ty had put the moves on me right then and there.
Maybe he would pick me up from the ground, lifting me with those strong arms and hoist me up to his lips and kiss me deeply. Or maybe he would lead me over to his truck, clean up my elbow, and then take me right there on his bench seat. I mean, that’s what those are for right?
My hand slides down my stomach and I start to caress myself as I play it out in my mind.
He places the bandage over my elbow, and I look up at him. His eyes pierce right through me and I’m overwhelmed. As he leans forward I can smell him. His manly musk is perfect, and I breath deeply as he presses his body against mine. I feel his lips touch mine, and the feeling is like an electric shock hitting me and coursing through the rest of my body.
I lean back and he is on top of me. He grabs my breast and squeezes hard. I can feel the desire in his touch. He wants me. He saved me. I owe him, and he’s going to take his reward.
Before I know it, my shirt is off and he’s kissing my breasts. He circles my nipples with his tongue, then sucks, and bites, just hard enough to hurt. A gasp escapes my lips and he moves up my neck and sucks my bottom lip. I’m getting wet. I can feel it.
His hand slides into my shorts and under my thong, and I feel his rough hands against my lips. Without hesitation, he slides two fingers inside. A gasp escapes my lips, and he grunts in reply, loving every second of it, staring at my face to watch my reaction. I don’t even feel self conscious around him. I want to give myself to him.
No. I want him to take me.
He presses against me, and I feel his cock, hard and ready against my thigh. He’s huge. I haven’t even seen it yet, but I can tell. His hand grabs my shorts and panties at the same time and tears them off. I look down and gasp. His cock is long and thick. I know it’s going to hurt.
I’m dripping wet, but Ty wants no resistance, and spits on his hand, getting his cock ready. I’m so turned on my hips are twisting back and forth. He presses the tip against the opening of my pussy, spreading me gently around the tip of his dick. I moan, but I have no time to react. He shoves it in.
It hurts. A lot. He gives me the whole thing, burying his entire length in me. I feel him bottom out like no one ever has before, and as he pulls out I feel the pleasure. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.
“That’s tight,” he says, and I feel myself already on the edge. He drives his cock back inside me, over and over, pounding me mercilessly, taking me like he wants me. He’s so hard inside me, and he leans down to kiss my neck and I hear him growl. His cock flexes, and I feel a shot of hot cum shoot inside me, and I go over the edge.
My orgasm hits me like a truck, and we cum together.
I’m rubbing my clit in the shower as I picture this, and I cum to this fantasy, a fantasy I never would have expected to have when I met him at the bar.
He cums for a long time, and we come down together.
“You’re amazing,” he tells me. I feel him slide out, and his cums drip down my thighs to my ass. I’m a mess, a hot mess on the seat of his truck. He’s just had his way with me, and I loved every second of it.
Don’t fall for the customers. That’s our rule.
Shit, I think, lying in the shower, feeling spent and ready for bed. I’m in trouble.
8
Ty
I’m starting to cool down after I take the bridge out of town. That was almost too much for me. I didn’t realize how much seeing the house would still affect me. I’d thought I’d made more progress than that. I slam my hand against the wheel, feeling the dull pain in my palm and forcing myself to focus on that and not the memories.
It’s been six years. Six years since a drunk driver took the life of my wife Christine and my eight-year-old daughter Amelia. They were on their way to the airport to pick me up from my final tour overseas when a drunk man t-boned their car at an intersection, killing them both. He died later in intensive care, which was good for me because I
probably would have killed him myself if he’d lived.
They were my whole world. I’d waited at the airport gate, figuring they were just late. It wasn’t like Christine. She was always punctual. Always on time. She knew how important it would be for me to see their smiling faces when I stepped off that plane, but she wasn’t there. My wife wasn’t there. My daughter wasn’t there. And what’s worse, is they never came.
I called. I got no answer. It just rang and rang and went to voicemail. That was the last I ever heard of my wife’s voice.
I waited an hour, then I took a cab home to an empty house. An hour later the police arrived and told me the news. That was the day my old life ended and my new life began.
My heart was broken. The pain was too much to bear. I didn’t leave the house for a week, and when I did, I never looked back. I vowed to never get that close to anyone again. The loss was just too great. No one should ever have to feel what I felt and continue to feel to this day.
My foot presses harder on the gas. The truck roars as I speed onto the highway, passing a row of cars like they’re standing still. The wind is screeching through the torn weather stripping of my driver’s side window. I’m going way too fast, but I have to get out of there. I have to get home.
I reach my exit in record time and don’t even slow down as I take the turn. I finally brake before going over the tracks, my suspension squealing as I bounce over them and turn hard to the right. It’s quieter out here in the sticks. And that’s how I like it. I don’t want anything to remind me of them. Of what I’ve lost. Some may call it hiding, but it’s what I need right now.
My tires kick up dirt as I wheel the car onto my private dirt road leading back into the woods. I roll down the window and smell the forest, instantly starting to calm. The shadows are comforting, reminding me that I’m alone. My father left this piece of land to me when he died. My parents had planned to build a house on it, but after he died and my mom got sick, it just didn’t happen. But for now, it’s where I live.
