by Autumn Avery
“So what are you going to do?” she asks me.
I wasn’t expecting that. It takes me a second to respond. “I-I don’t know. I just …”
I trail off, hanging my head, summoning up the courage for what I want to ask her. This will be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to say. I can feel the words at the tip of my tongue, but they just won’t come. I can smell Jenny. Every scent of her invades my nostrils and consumes me. I want to reach out and stroke her soft skin and take her. I look up at her and speak.
“Jenny. Could you picture a life with me? Together?”
Jenny’s eyes go wide, and she just looks at me. The tension in the air is palpable, and I can hear my heart beat in my ears. I’m going to lose it.
“Yes …” she finally whispers. I’m almost stunned. I can’t believe it. I wanted to. A part of me knew she would say yes, but I didn’t want to listen to it. Nothing in my life has worked out since my family died, so why would I ever expect things to change? Running into Jenny was pure coincidence, and ended up being a blessing. And now she’s said yes.
I reach out and grab her and lift her onto my lap, kissing her strongly and deeply. She kisses me back, hungrily pushing her tongue into my mouth. I can’t restrain myself, and I have her shirt up over her head in the blink of an eye. I kiss her passionately down her cheek, to her neck and then down to her left breast, taking her nipple into my mouth and biting down ever so softly. She lets out a gasp that enflames me, and I feel myself swelling under my shorts.
My hands grip her back and caress her every curve, feeling the soft supple skin of her breasts and the lines of her waist that lead me to her hips and ass. I grab and squeeze, feeling possessed by a lust greater than anything I’ve ever felt. She grinds her hips against mine and I’m not able to hold out any longer.
I lift her easily and dump her onto her back on the couch. Instantly I have her pants and panties off and my face is buried in her thighs. The skin of her pussy is soft against my tongue as I lick her up and down, needing every single inch of her body.
Her gasp and moan as my tongue slides inside her has me completely hard, and I reach down between my legs and grasp my hard cock and start stroking. I want nothing more than to be inside her, but I am hungry for her pussy and I lick harder, moving up and finding her clit.
When my tongue slides across it she gasps and lets out a moan that the neighbors could probably hear. I pull my hand off my cock and press it over her mouth, doing my best to quiet her. This turns her on, and she begins grinding her hips against my face. She’s wet and tastes amazing. Everything about her is perfect. I flick my tongue left to right and feel her squirm. I use my free hand to press down on her stomach and pin her in place.
“Oh my God, Ty” she moans through my hand. I move my tongue faster and faster, applying more and more pressure. She’s getting even wetter, and I let out a groan as her hips buck again.
“Fuck!” she shouts into my palm. She cums, and it’s the hottest thing I have ever seen. Her hips tighten and her thighs squeeze on either side of my head. She bucks up off the couch and presses down on my head with both hands. I can taste the flood of wetness as she orgasms, and I lap hungrily, never taking my tongue off her clit.
I could stay here all day, I think, gazing up at her face, twisted in pleasure as she continues to cum.
The last of her orgasm rolls over her and she settles back onto the couch. She gasps as I remove my hand and arches her back, sucking deep gulps of air.
“Ty …”
Before she can speak, I’m on top of her and sliding my cock inside her. She wasn’t prepared, and squeals as I push my entire length into her.
“Shit!” she yelps.
“Fuck yes,” I groan, already feeling like I’m ready to cum. “You’re so tight.”
She squirms on the couch, clenching her pussy down on my cock. I can barely take it. She’s so amazing. I want to cum already, but I hold back. I have to have her, and I want to see her cum again. I want to feel it.
I squeeze her breasts with both hands, tightly pulling her to me as I fuck her. She’s staring up at me, mouth open, eyes wide, with no sound coming out. She doesn’t even seem to be breathing. All she’s doing is taking my cock and loving it. We both are.
I pinch her nipples gently, and I feel her pussy tighten up.
“Yeah?” I ask her.
All she can do is nod back. Her face is beautiful like this. She’s so unbelievably sexy. I feel something primal come over me—something uncontrollable, and I pound her harder. She’s so fucking sexy it makes me almost angry. I let out a growl, and she reacts, gripping my waist with both hands, pulling me into her. Harder and harder I fuck her.
“Yes, like that!” she whispers. I am so close, and so is she. “Cum in me!”
That’s all it takes. My cock twitches and I shoot inside her. Just as I do, her pussy clenches down and she cums with me. I sink down on top of her and push my tongue into her mouth. She sucks it hungrily as we cum together, my cock shooting my seed inside her, filling her up.
She’s mine, I think as I feel her breasts bounce against my chest with every orgasmic thrust from my hips. I’m seeing fucking stars it felt so good, and as I collapse down onto her, I can feel her heart beat against mine, pounding through her chest.
Her lips press against my neck, and she kisses me gently as I pant on top of her, a sweaty mess.
“God you’re amazing,” I mutter into her ear.
“So are you,” she says back.
“I could do this every day,” I say softly.
“Twice a day,” she giggles. I smile and raise myself up on my elbows and look down at her. She’s a mess too. Either her sweat or mine is coating her face, and a mess of hair is plastered over her cheek.
If only I had a camera, I think. That would be a hot picture.
I gently brush the hair away and kiss her gently on the lips.
“So much for my shower,” I laugh. “I’m sweating like crazy!”
“So am I” She smiles back at me.
“Want to take one with me?” I suggest.
“That sounds great.”
Suddenly, a knock comes from the door, followed by Kristen’s voice. “Hey, uh. Are you guys done in there yet?”
Jenny’s eyes widen as she looks up at me. “Oh my God!”
We both burst out laughing.
21
Jenny
I wake up to the sound of male footsteps thudding about my apartment. That’s a sound I could get used to hearing. I yawn and stretch, feeling the warm spot on the bed beside me where Ty was sleeping. I bury my face in his pillow and inhale. His smell is still there. I yawn and stretch, hearing the water in the bathroom sink running.
Ty is checking his hand as I enter the bathroom and lean against the door jam. He hasn’t bothered to put a shirt on, and I can’t say I mind.
“How is it?” I ask him.
“Not great,” he replies with a grimace, peeling the last sticky piece of gauze off his palm.
“Does it hurt?” I ask stupidly.
“Sure doesn’t feel good,” he says, forcing a smile.
I come over beside him and slide my hand up his back, doing my best to comfort him. His skin is warm and smooth and I can feel the taught muscles underneath. It’s then that I notice the scars.
There are several of them across the side of his arm and his back, just below his shoulder. They’re pretty big, and I can’t help but wonder if they were made by bullets.
He got the tattoos to cover them, I realize. He wants to forget.
There is so much more to this man than meets the eye. Who could have ever suspected the jerk at the bar asking me to flash him would turn out to be the most complex man I’ve ever met in my life?
“The fight’s tonight,” Ty says, wincing as he washes his wound. I twist my lip.
“What are you going to do?”
It takes him a minute to answer, like he knows what to say but can’t bring himself to say it.
Finally, he brings his eyes up to meet mine, and I see a look on his face I’ve never seen before.
“Jenny,” he says firmly. “Can you really picture a life with me? Would you come away with me? If we could. Could you leave this place? Could you leave with me?”
His words cause me to shutter, and I pull my hand away from him like I’ve just been shocked. I have. I wasn’t expecting that. I can only stare blankly at him, and I wish I could say I was thinking about, contemplating, weighing the pros and cons, but the truth is—I already know the answer.
“Yes,” I say. The word comes out as barely a whisper and hangs there like the most delicate of things that might shatter or drift away if we say the wrong thing. Slowly, something close to a smile comes over Ty’s face, but it’s more like he’s contemplating something himself.
What is he thinking? I want to know.
“I have to fight tonight,” he finally says. “I have no choice. But I think I may have a way out of this. But we’ll have to leave here. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
“Yes,” I say.
“And Josh and Ella? They’ll be okay?”
“Josh changes schools next year anyway,” I say. “And Ella hates hers.”
“Good.”
“Ty,” I say, almost afraid to ask. “Are you saying … we would live together? Be a family?”
“Yes,” he says quickly and firmly. “I swore I’d never let another woman into my heart, Jenny. But with you … with you there was nothing I could do.”
I feel a tear slip from my eye and roll down my cheek.
Don’t cry! I think, almost out of reflex. I’ve spent so long hiding my emotions, not letting anyone in, not letting my children see me upset. I have had to be strong for them, and it wasn’t until now that I realized just how repressed I have been. Looking at Ty, I understand that this is a man I don’t have to hide from. This is a man who will always accept me. I give up holding back, and let the tears fall.
Ty’s arms are instantly around me, holding me tightly against him. He presses my face against his chest and kisses my head.
“It’s okay. It will be okay,” he assures me, stroking me with his strong hands. “Get everything together that you need, everything you can’t leave behind, and pack it up. Can you do that?”
He pulls back and looks at me right in the eyes, and it’s like I can feel our connection. It’s almost like I’ve known him my whole life. I was always a romantic, before life got me down, but I feel like this is the man I’ve been missing. This is the man I’m meant to be with. I guess the reason I don’t feel bad thinking this, is I can see in his eyes that he thinks the same about me.
‘Yes,” I say softly.
He smiles and kisses me. “Good. I was hoping you would say that. I don’t want to be without you ever again, Jenny.”
“I don’t want to be without you either,” I say, feeling like I’ve just stepped into a dream.
“Can you help me with my hand?” he asks me.
“Of course,” I say, pulling a fresh roll of gauze from the vanity. Ty sits on the edge of the tub and I sit down beside him, gently wrapping his hand. This is the kind of thing that most girls I know would whine about—having to help their husband or boyfriend like this, but I love it. I will take care of this man for the rest of his life, and he will take care of me.
Near the end of our relationship, I wasn’t even sleeping with Colin. I didn’t want anything to do with him, and that’s putting it nicely. It was like we were two people with two different lives living under the same roof. I can’t see that ever happening with Ty, and that’s just not me being romantic. Since Colin I’ve developed a very keen sense for people and their warning signs, and not only do I not see any of those with Ty, but I see the signs that tell me he is a good man.
And so do my dogs!
So does Josh!
I finish wrapping his hand and lean my head on his shoulder, my hand gently covering his. I can practically hear his mind whirring. I don’t know what he’s planning to do, and I don’t know if I should ask. If it’s dangerous, I’m going to be a nervous wreck. I have a feeling it is though. If these men are really as dangerous as he claims, he’s going to have to do something drastic.
“Ty,” I say softly.
“Yes?”
“Do I need to be worried?”
“No,” he says, standing up. He turns to me and I see a look of determination on his face. A look of resolve. He knows what he’s going to do, and I have faith in him. But I still don’t want to know. I’m going to worry enough as it is, I don’t need the details.
“I need to get going,” he says. “There’s some things I have to work out. But please, Jenny. Have everything ready. Okay? I’ll sort this out and we can get out of here. We’ll leave all this behind and never look back.”
Ty kisses me on the forehead and steps past me into the living room. I turn to see him pulling on his jacket. Without looking back, he pulls open the door to the apartment and steps outside. I feel afraid and excited at the same time. My life is about to take a big turn, and even though I’m ready, I’m scared, because I don’t know where that turn will take me.
22
Ty
I am a rock, I keep telling myself as I drive to the fight. My emotions are threatening to boil over and I can’t let that happen. I have a job to do—several of them, and I can’t be soft. I have to put Jenny out of my mind if I’m going to do what I’m about to do. And then, when this is done and all over, I’ll go back to her.
If she knew what I had planned she would have tried to talk me out of it. I’m putting so much on the line for her, but it’s the only option I see. I have to be with her, and if I don’t do this, I won’t ever be able to be. Not in the way I want.
She’ll always be a weakness to me. Nicky would be able to use her to leverage me to do whatever he wanted. And then I would be putting Josh and Ella in danger too. And that’s unacceptable. I should have put my foot down earlier. I should have told Barry no, and maybe then Moore would still be alive. Nicky wouldn’t be so furious and maybe I wouldn’t have to be doing what I’m about to do.
Desperate times though. Desperate times.
I’m heading to the warehouse for the fight, but I take a sharp turn that will take me back downtown. I can feel my heart start to race as I get closer. My body is screaming out for me to turn around, but I can’t. I have to do this. It’s what I need to be able to follow through with my plan.
The old house comes into view, and I feel myself break out into a cold sweat. There it is, the blue paint, the tire swing, the old battered porch. The home I used to have.
I’m never going back, I think as I stop my truck out front. Never.
Part of me has stuck to the fantasy of my life returning to normal, as though one day I’d just be able to press rewind and get back what I’d lost. I’d dreamt about things going differently. I’d prayed countless times to wake up with Christine by my side and my daughter’s laugh coming from the living room.
But those days are gone and never coming back.
I have to put the ghosts of my past to bed. I’m moving on. I’ve found a woman who will make me happy for the rest of my life, and I’m giving my heart to her. No, she’s taken my heart, and I’ve let her.
The house is now just a reminder of what I lost. It’s holding me back, and it has been all this time. I stare at it, letting the feelings and emotions of those times wash over me, flow through me, and continue on.
I’m still standing.
My hands grip the wheel of my truck, and I step on the gas. As I pull away from my old house, I leave it all behind. All my memories, my ghosts, my past. It’s all behind me now, not even a reflection in my rear view mirror. There’s nothing in my life now but a future. A beautiful woman that I’ve fallen in love with, and a family.
* * *
Gourmet Meats. The sign greets me for the last time as I pull my truck into the parking lot. This is the last time I’ll ever have t
o look at this place again. After today, I’ll never be back.
My truck door groans as I push it open and begin my last walk across the cracked pavement of the parking lot. My hand is throbbing at my side, a reminder of just how ready I am to move on. I feel like my senses are all on high alert. I can feel every stone under my feet and hear every scratch of sand with every step I take. I can smell the grease and oil from the stained parking lot and the acrid scent of old trash when the breeze kicks up. I can feel the thick humid air against my skin and am conscious of every breath and every beat of my heart.
I’m focused. I’m on high alert, but I’m composed.
I’m ready for anything.
I boot the door open casually and step into the dank back hall and its flickering fluorescents reflecting off cracked green tile. Something’s dripping from the ceiling causing a thin film of moisture on the floor. My footsteps echoed across the walls as I step up to the locker room door and push it open.
Barry is sitting on a bench at the center of the room, slumped over like a beaten dog. He looks like he’s been pretty worked over by Nicky’s men. One eye is blacked and there’s some partially healed cuts across his face. Looks like someone beat him with a pipe.
“Hey,” he mutters as I close the door behind me. I can hear the dull sounds of the crowd already accumulating in the main warehouse for the fight. I’ve been so caught up in everything that’s been going on that I don’t even know who I’m up against. Not like it matters.
“How you doing?” I ask him.
He shrugs, “How do I look?”
“Like a badass,” I joke, moving to the sink. Examining myself in the mirror, I try to see myself as a new man. I try to picture myself before my family, before the war. I try to look at myself like Jenny must see me.
“If this doesn’t work, we’re fucked,” I tell him.
“No shit,” he grumbles back. “What, are you scared now?”
He doesn’t sound too happy.
