by Speer, Flora
Yet still, over all the unwelcome thoughts and rationalizations, above her determination to do what was right for Elyr whatever the cost to herself, Perri remembered Halvo’s kiss and the emotions it had stirred in her. Elyr had never aroused such warmth in her, never slid his tongue into her mouth in the sensuous way that Halvo did.
Elyr’s kisses were quick and dry and the once-a-month couplings he had insisted upon since the night of her sixteenth birthday were brief and almost casual. Once she had recovered from her initial shock at the mechanics of the couplings and her distaste for their messy endings, Perri had accepted them with indifference. She knew it was always that way between men and women because Elyr told her it was so. She belonged to Elyr; therefore, there was no reason for him to mislead her. Elyr would tell her when the time was right. Then she would be allowed to give him the single child permitted by Jurisdiction and Regulan law. Afterward, the couplings would cease, but Perri would still be an important part of Elyr’s household because she would be in charge of his comforts.
She wondered what Halvo liked to eat when he had a choice of food. Did he prefer his bathwater hot or warm? Did he like a cold rinse after the bath and the finest, cleanest fabrics for his personal clothing? His kiss had been so heated. Would his couplings be heated, too?
“I must stop thinking like this or I will go mad. The Hierarchy will do as it wants with Halvo. Once he is turned over to them, the matter is out of my hands. Elyr will live. It is Elyr who is important.”
Halvo. Oh, Halvo, why did you kiss me?
Chapter Four
In the cockpit of the Space Dragon, Halvo was attempting to learn how much Rolli knew about the Hierarchy’s plans for him, and for Perri.
“Are you specially programmed to pilot a space ship?” Halvo asked the robot.
“Among other things.” The metal head swiveled in Halvo’s direction, the eyelike blue lights blinking in a steady rhythm. “Why do you ask?”
“I was wondering if we really are going to Regula.”
“We are going to Regula.” The robot turned back to the ship’s controls.
Why do you ask? Never before had Halvo known a robot to display curiosity. Since it was one of his own strong personal traits, Halvo made a mental note to pay attention to any other evidence of curiosity on Rolli’s part.
“Have you and Perri been together long?”
“Since she was nine years old.”
“Were you a gift on her betrothal to Elyr?” Halvo asked.
“It is the custom on Regula for children to have such guardians,” Rolli said. “I have served as Perri’s nurse, teacher, and servant.”
“How heartwarming.” When the blue lights turned in his direction again, Halvo said, “Personally, I prefer a living nurse who has a soft lap a child can curl up in after a nightmare. Someone who understands from her own experience the desire for sugar cakes at odd hours.”
“I do not believe I have ever been deficient in supplying Perri with good emotional or nutritional advice,” Rolli said.
“Perri told me about Elyr and how she is trying to save his life,” Halvo said, trying another tack. When the robot did not respond to that remark, Halvo asked, “Does she love him? More importantly, does he love her?”
“Perri will do what is necessary. She has a strong sense of honor.”
“Come on, Rolli. You aren’t helping. I am trying to save my own life and, incidentally, Perri’s life, too.”
“Why do you care about Perri’s life?” There it was again, curiosity from a robot.
“I care because I’m a romantic fool.” Halvo grinned, suddenly feeling like a knight-errant in an old story. “Here I am, weaker than I have ever been since I was a baby and too often dizzy and light-headed, yet I am ready to do battle to save a woman who is determined to sacrifice herself, and me, in a lost cause!”
“You truly believe Perri’s life is in danger?”
“Don’t you? Use your circuitry, Rolli! It’s simple logic. By abducting me, Perri has put herself outside the law. You have deduced your own fate, haven’t you?” Halvo went on, watching the robot closely for any unusual reaction to his next words. “You do understand that shortly before or immediately after the Hierarchy kills Perri, you will almost certainly be dismantled? At the very least, your memory banks will have to be altered. Or perhaps they will be erased completely. Whether Elyr lives or dies, the three of us won’t survive very long once we reach Regula.”
“You believe Elyr would permit this?”
“I have no idea what Elyr would permit. He may not have anything to say about what happens. According to Perri, the Hierarchy will decide our fates. I know enough about the mighty seven who rule Regula to realize how poor our chances really are. Perri has high hopes, but she is wrong. You might say dead wrong.”
Rolli was silent for a while, the blue lights blinking rather faster than usual.
“Do you dare trust Pern’s life to the Regulan Hierarchy?” Halvo asked. “Or your own continued existence?” Again Rolli did not respond. The seconds passed in silence.
“I cannot allow Perri to be harmed,” Rolli said at last. “Guardians are charged with the protection of those placed in their care.”
“Then, my friend,” Halvo said with a sense of satisfaction he did his best to hide, “you and I are going to have to devise a way to save Perri when the Chief Hierarch reneges on his promises to her.”
* * * * *
“Give me a few more days aboard the Space Dragon,” Halvo said, “and I could reprogram the computer to produce some decent food.”
“There is nothing wrong with Regulan food.” Perri clamped her lips shut. She had not intended to speak to Halvo at all, but he had a peculiar ability to evoke unwanted responses from her.
“I suppose for someone who doesn’t care whether she lives or dies food doesn’t matter, either.” Halvo sounded as if he were carrying on an ordinary conversation. Perri was forced to grit her teeth to keep from answering him.
“Out there in the rest of the Jurisdiction, far beyond Regula,” Halvo said, “people who are sentenced to death are given their choice of a last meal. It’s an old tradition, one I gather the Regulan Hierarchy is not inclined to follow.”
“We have our own traditions,” Perri snapped, infuriated by his drawling tone.
“You amaze me, Perri. It is one thing to face death bravely. It’s quite another thing to face the unknown – and you do face a distinctly uncertain future – without flinching. Your composure is remarkable.”
“I am not facing an unknown. You are.”
“In that case, let’s stop this carefree banter and proceed to serious conversation, shall we?”
“I do not wish to talk with you, Halvo.”
“You keep saying that, but you always answer any remark I make. And every time I walk into this galley, you follow me. I do believe you want to be alone with me.”
“Of all the egomaniacal -” Determined not to rise to his continuous baiting, Perri made herself lower her voice. “I am concerned that, if you are left unsupervised, you will attempt to sabotage the Space Dragon”
“Sabotage? From the galley?” His eyes lit up with sardonic amusement. Perri was absolutely certain he did know a way to sabotage the ship from the galley. She was not going to give him the chance to try. They were too close to Regula, too near the successful completion of her mission for her to allow any such lapses of judgment on her part.
She had spent the two days since their quarrel reviewing every action she had taken after learning of the sentence upon Elyr. She honestly did not think she could have chosen any other path. Looking the other way and refusing to help Elyr would have left her with a conscience so burdened by guilt that she could not have continued to live after his death. By all she had ever been taught, she was doing the right thing.
Why, then, did she have so many unanswerable questions, so many doubts? Oddly, she did know the answer to that. It was Halvo’s fault. She also knew that, even if s
he were to return to her old life in Elyr’s household, her questions would not cease and, inevitably, they would cause trouble for her. Elyr did not like her to ask questions. He never had. So whether she asked or kept the questions to herself, the peaceful security she had once known had been permanently destroyed.
“Perri.” Halvo spoke in the firm tone of command. Stepping closer, he took her by the elbows. “Tell Rolli to change course arid take us away from Regula. Do it now, before their instruments can indicate our approach. This is our last chance.”
“I cannot.” Gazing deep into his eyes, she drew a long, shuddering breath. “I wish I could help you, Halvo, but I have promised to deliver you to the Chief Hierarch. I cannot break my word to him.” She wondered why the tense expression on Halvo’s face did not change at what must have been the final blow to any hope he held of regaining his freedom.
“All right,” he said. “If you won’t give me a last meal of my choice, and you won’t order Rolli to change course, then grant me another wish. It will be my last wish, Perri.”
“What do you want of me?” Perri asked, adding regretfully, “We do not have much time.”
“It won’t take long.” His hands slid up to her shoulders and then farther, to cup her face between his fingers. His voice deepened to a seductive whisper. “All I want is one kiss and for you to kiss me back as though you meant it. Can you do that much for me?”
“I should not,” she said in protest. “It would be most improper.”
“Improper to kiss a dying man?”
“No, don’t say that!” She knew he was playing on her emotions. She was sure he sensed her disgraceful yearning to feel his mouth on hers once more. “You want me to pity you and to help you escape.”
“Pity is the last thing on my mind. I want you to want me,” he whispered. “Just one last time, I want to know a beautiful woman desires me.”
“I am not beautiful,” she said, aching to tell him she did desire him and fully aware of how wrong it would be to admit such a thing to him.
“If you are not beautiful,” he murmured, “then all other Regulan women must be incredible.” Unbidden, without waiting for her permission, he lightly brushed his mouth across hers.
“Halvo.” The sound of his name was a soft whimper of undeniable longing for an unknown possibility that, within a few hours, would be forever lost to her. She knew if she gave him what he wanted then she, too, would be lost.
He took the choice away from her. His mouth covered hers with a firm sureness that stopped her breath. His arms gathered her close.
If she had been able to think clearly, Perri might have marveled at the way in which Halvo could combine such hot, primitive demands on her with a tenderness that enriched their physical contact, enlarging it to a depth and intensity she had not dreamed possible. Deep inside Perri something stirred and spread like a sprouting seed in spring, a force still new and fragile, yet demanding life, insisting upon space and warmth in which to grow. And moisture. There was moisture aplenty in the heated blood coursing through her veins, in the burning between her thighs. Never, never before…
Halvo moved, drawing her hips against his, letting her feel his hardness. He lifted her off her feet, still holding her against the length of his body. Her arms were around his neck and she clung to him, moaning, whimpering, wishing they had hours and days …wishing they had forever.
Dimly, she realized that they were out of the galley. She imagined he was heading toward her cabin, or perhaps toward his, to the nearest bed. She did not want to resist him, but she knew she must. She could not forget her imperative duty, not when she was so close to success. Halvo’s arms were still around her. She could barely move. He was holding her much too closely.
“What?” She opened her eyes to look at him. It was not desire she saw on his face, and she knew what he was trying to do. While he kissed her, he was easing her toward the bench with its restraining bands. “Don’t, please. No, Halvo. No!”
“I’m sorry, Perri. If you won’t save yourself, then I’ll have to save both of us.” He should have covered her mouth with his hand, or kissed her again so she could not cry out, or held her so tightly that she could not fight what he was doing.
“Rolli!” she screamed. “Help me! Help!”
The controls were already on automatic, so it took only a split second for Rolli to wheel to her side. Perri was struggling as hard as she could, kicking and scratching and yelling at Halvo to let her go. His strength surprised her. She had believed in the weakness of which he constantly complained. It took Perri and Rolli together to subdue Halvo, and Perri suspected it was only a bout of dizziness that forced him to give up at the last. Whatever the cause, a few minutes later Halvo lay flat on the bench, straining against the flexible metal bands that held him fast.
“You are going to regret this,” he said in a cold, deadly voice. “You little fool, I could have helped you. Now whatever happens will be on your own shoulders.”
He would not stop talking. He swore at her, demanded that she let him off the bench, warned her of a dreadful fate to be visited on her, and finally, in a voice so poisonously sweet it made her teeth hurt to hear him, he informed her that she would never be able to forget that she was responsible for his inevitable death and for her own demise and the end of Rolli’s existence.
“Be quiet!” Perri covered her ears with her hands. “Oh, merciful stars, Halvo, leave me alone! When will I ever be at peace again?’
“Not on Regula,” Halvo said with unconcealed relish. “Not anymore. This adventure has changed you, hasn’t it, Perri?”
“Yes, it has!” Taking her hands away from her ears, where they were having no effect quelling the sound of his voice, she balled them into tight fists. “I have learned never to trust males who are not Regulans. You tricked me once too often, Halvo. You pretended to make love to me, but you only wanted to put me on that bench where you are now.”
“That,” Rolli said, blue eyelights blinking in Halvo’s direction, “was exceptionally devious of you, Admiral.”
“Rolli, remember our conversations on this subject and release me,” Halvo said. “You must understand that I am trying to help Perri as well as myself.”
“You said nothing about attempting to seduce her into compliance,” the robot replied. “You should have tried logical arguments first.”
“I did!” Halvo said. “Logic doesn’t work with her.”
“Perhaps it was not the right kind of logic,” Rolli said.
“Then you try to talk some sense into her! She is stubborn, willful, and deliberately blind to the danger she is in.”
“The only danger I have been in has been from you,” Perri told Halvo. To emphasize her resolution in regard to him, she pulled a small, oblong box from the shelf beneath the bench and held it up for him to see. “In this medical kit there is a strong sedative. If you say one word more I will inject you with it and you will not awaken until you are dragged before the Chief Hierarch. I believe you would prefer to walk, would you not?”
Halvo’s only reaction to her threat was a groan as he strained his shoulder muscles against the metal bands.
“Do you understand me?” Perri leaned over him, searching his face. If she had seen there any trace of the tenderness she had imagined she detected in him earlier, she might have listened to his arguments against continuing to Regula. His passionate embrace, false though it undoubtedly was, had done more in his favor than all his sensible talk. The thought of turning Halvo over to the Chief Hierarch produced an ache in her heart that she knew would never heal.
But Halvo’s eyes were cold and hard as they bored into hers, and his mouth was pulled into a narrow, grim line. Telling herself she had argued enough, with herself and with him, Perri straightened.
“What do you wish me to do?” Rolli asked, the blue eyelights fixed on her face as if to read all the emotions registered there.
“We continue to Regula as planned.” Perri spun away from Halvo and th
e robot. “You may not release Halvo until we reach our destination.”
“Understood.” The robot wheeled quietly back to the ship’s controls. Unable to bear the bitterness of Halvo’s gaze any longer, Perri fled to her own cabin.
Halvo craned his neck, watching Perri leave the cockpit. “The woman is suicidal.”
“Merely inexperienced in treachery,” Rolli said. “Regulan females are deliberately kept innocent of the intrigues that so happily – and so dangerously – occupy their menfolk. The males prefer their women uninformed about the truth of Regulan life, believing feminine ignorance will result in compliance with every masculine wish.”
“Does the theory work?” Halvo asked.
“It has kept one half of Regula’s population in subjugation,” the robot said, adding, “sometimes to their great detriment, and occasionally to their deaths.”
“I thought you were supposed to protect Perri.” Halvo’s eyes sharpened, watching the robot, but there was no way to tell what the effect of his words were on Rolli. The robot appeared to be doing nothing more than monitoring the ship’s controls.
As silence fell and lengthened in the cockpit of the Space Dragon, Halvo knew the time had come for any sensible man to accept his fate, to steel himself to meet the immediate future with dignity. He had always been a sensible man. And yet…and yet.
Chapter Five
“Perri, daughter of the Amalini Kin, make your report.” The sonorous voice of the Chief Hierarch filled the cockpit of the Space Dragon. “Have you successfully completed the mission I delegated to you?”
“Yes, sir, I have.” With a growing sense of foreboding, Perri faced the large main view-screen. In the background she could see evidence that the Chief Hierarch was in his private chambers, in the same room where he had granted Perri her initial interview with him. She recognized the spiral on the wall behind the desk and she could just see one end of the Cetan sword on the adjoining wall. The Chief Hierarch was standing in front of the desk. Instead of his hierarchal robes he was wearing a white tunic and trousers, an outfit that made him appear even thinner and more ethereal than he ordinarily did.
