by Speer, Flora
“Come back to headquarters and I’ll fix an herbal tea for you to drink so you can sleep.” Alla put her arm through Osiyar’s. Perri could just make out the shape of her white hand clutching at his dark sleeve. “Really, Osiyar, you must learn to refuse the importunities of people who constantly ask you for help.”
“I confess that I am somewhat weary. Perri, we will talk again before you leave.”
“Not if Alla can prevent it,” Dysia whispered as the woman led Osiyar off toward the beach. “That is the most possessive woman I have ever encountered. She treats him like a child.”
“Or a pet,” Perri said to Dysia’s appreciative chuckle.
“I was not spying on you,” Dysia said, “nor trying to prevent you from doing anything you want to do. I just thought you might need a friend.”
“I have caused you and your captain a great deal of trouble,” Perri said. “Why should you want to be my friend?”
“Anyone who joins the Jurisdiction Service expects to encounter trouble,” Dysia said. “What happened with the Regulans was fairly routine. I have been in worse situations. So has Jyrit. Neither of us holds it against you.”
“You are Kalina’s friend.” Even to Pern’s own ears the words sounded like an accusation, but Dysia only chuckled again.
“Oh, yes, the Regulan mind-set. You think that I have some ulterior motive, that some complicated intrigue against you is afoot. Sometimes, Perri, an offer of friendship is just what it appears to be. Perhaps,” Dysia said, “I need a friend, too.”
“You?” Perri cried. “A woman who holds high rank in the Jurisdiction Service? You must have many friends.”
“The Service demands much of its people,” Dysia said, “and some of us don’t fit very well into our assigned places.”
“Do you mean you are unhappy? I find it hard to believe when you have so many opportunities that are denied to other women.”
“Uncomfortable would be a better word than unhappy,” Dysia said. “Or, perhaps, uneasy, as if half of my clothes were the wrong size. From what I know of you, I think you felt much the same way while you lived on Regula.”
“I ask too many questions,” Perri said.
“What’s wrong with asking questions?”
“Women are supposed to be silent.” Perri was stopped by Dysia’s renewed laughter.
“You have so much to learn,” Dysia said.
“Halvo says the same thing to me.”
“Halvo.” Dysia broke off her laughter. “It can be a difficult thing to care for a man who has a possessive woman hovering over him, especially if she has a prior claim on him.”
“Kalina hates me.”
“She is angry with you. There is a difference. Besides, Halvo is too strong a person ever to be swayed by someone else’s wishes. Not when he wants something very badly.”
“Above all else, Halvo wants to return to his career as Admiral of the Fleet.”
“As I said, Perri,” Dysia was chuckling again, ”you do have a lot to learn.”
Chapter Nineteen
Because the headquarters building was so crowded, no one could be allotted a private room. To ease the problem of where to put so many guests, Halvo volunteered to sleep upon a couch in the central room, while Kalina, Dysia, and Perri were quartered together in a room with two large beds. Lying beside Dysia, Perri found it difficult to sleep. On the other bed Kalina tossed for a while before she quieted. The room was dark save for a faint line of light along the bottom edge of the door.
Perri was deeply aware of Halvo on the opposite side of that door. She longed to go to him, yet she did not know what her reception would be if she did. After hours spent with his disapproving mother he might reject Perri. If he became angry enough to waken anyone else, Perri would be humiliated beyond bearing. She decided she would just have to stay where she was. She focused on the light beneath the door and tried to will herself into sleep….
“You stupid girl,” Elyr said. “Will you never learn that no man of any discrimination could want you? Questions! Always you ask enough questions to drive a man mad. Yet you never find answers, do you?”
“I am sure I could if you would just explain to me why you and the Chief Hierarch tricked me,” Perri said. “Surely, you knew I would be compelled by loyalty to do anything I could to help you.”
“And you did do what I wanted,” Elyr said. “The trick worked.”
“You should have told me the truth!” she shouted. “I deserved that much.”
“You deserve nothing. The answer you seek is there in your mind, Perri.”
Elyr began to laugh at her and as he laughed his figure began to fade, until there was only darkness surrounding Perri … and one faint bar of light shining along a stone floor….
“Elyr, wait! I have more questions to ask.” But Elyr was gone and Perri, rearing up on her knees upon the bed, thought she saw a movement in front of the light, a figure blocking it for a moment.
“No! Elyr, answer me!” Perri’s voice rose to a shriek. “Elyr!”
“What in the name of all the stars is wrong with you? Do you intend to wake everyone in the building?” The shadowy figure moved again and the light came on, revealing a very annoyed-looking Kalina standing by the switch. “Have the decency to remember that there are small children here who could be frightened by your screeching. Not to mention a gravely injured man who needs his rest.”
“I’m sorry.” Perri looked around the room, half expecting to encounter a smiling, mocking Elyr. But he was not there. Perri blinked away the last remnants of sleep. “I had a bad dream.”
“Perhaps your conscience is troubling you,” Kalina said.
“Here.” Dysia, also awakened by Perri’s cries, handed her a cup of water. “Drink this. Then we can talk about your dream if you want.”
“Perri!” The bedroom door burst open and Halvo rushed in. He was wearing a loose robe that Tarik had lent him and his hair was tousled by sleep. “You’ve had another nightmare, haven’t you?”
“Does she do this often?” Kalina asked.
Halvo ignored his mother. He sat down next to Perri and tried to pull her into his arms. She did not know whether to accept his embrace, which was what she wanted to do, or push him away because Kalina was watching them. What she did was brace her hands on his shoulders so she could remain sitting upright while she looked directly at him.
“It was a slightly different dream this time,” she said. “There was no spaceship, just Elyr and me in some black and empty place. I could see his face and figure, but nothing else.”
“What did he say?” Halvo asked.
“Much the same as in my last dream,” she replied. “Elyr called me stupid and said the answers I want are in my own mind. But, Halvo, I don’t know what the answers are!”
“It’s all right,” Halvo said, soothing her. “What happened next?”
“Elyr disappeared and I was all alone in blackness. That is when I screamed. Lady Kalina, I did not mean to disturb you or anyone else. I couldn’t help screaming.”
“No, I suppose you couldn’t, if you were in the middle of a nightmare.” Kalina sat down on her bed, still watching Perri closely. “Such dreams are almost always the result of an unquiet mind, perhaps caused by a guilty conscience.”
“Mother, please!” Halvo said.
“Of course my mind is unquiet.” Perri moved out of Halvo’s reach to sit facing his mother. The beds were so close that their knees were almost touching. “Do you think I don’t know that what I did might have cost Halvo his life? Do you imagine I don’t feel guilty about it?
“I was sent out from Regula to capture Halvo by two men who had their own secret reasons for using me as they did. Lady Kalina, have you considered the possibility that Halvo could still be in danger? Until we discover the reason why they wanted him, we can’t be sure that Elyr and the Chief Hierarch won’t try to capture him again.”
“Perhaps you are more astute than I realized,” Kalina said. “During
my visit to Regula everyone who mentioned your name called you stupid and irritating, a bias that may have colored my own thinking.”
“At the Service Academy,” Dysia said, “we were taught that a constantly questioning mind is a sign of intelligence. Moreover, such a mind is irritating to those who have something to hide.”
“So it is said.” Kalina’s deep blue eyes regarded Perri soberly. Then her gaze moved on to her son’s face. Finally, Kalina shook herself a little, as if she was making up her mind about something. Or, possibly, she was just rousing herself as her next words suggested. “If you young people have quite finished, I will attempt to go to sleep again. It has been a long day and I am weary.”
“Perri,” Halvo said, “would you like to come with me into the central room for the rest of the night?”
“I will not allow it,” Kalina said at once. “Perri will be perfectly safe here with Dysia and me.”
“Yes, I will,” Perri said, refusing to admit how badly she wanted to go with Halvo, to be held and comforted by him until she was able to sleep peacefully. Perri thought Kalina’s sharp disapproval of her had been somewhat blunted during the last half hour. If she stayed where she was, Kalina might decide that the young woman she disliked had at least a modicum of courage. “I am sure I will fall asleep quickly now, Halvo.”
His gaze held hers a moment. Then, right there in front of Kalina and Dysia, Halvo kissed her lightly, just at one corner of her mouth. From where Kalina sat, it probably looked as if he had kissed her on the cheek, but his lips were almost on Perri’s. It was enough to give her the strength to get through the remainder of the night.
“Until morning,” Halvo said to her, rising. “Good night, Mother. Lieutenant Dysia.”
“Good night, sir.” Dysia was already straightening the blankets, smothering a yawn, and climbing back into bed. Perri lay down and a moment later Kalina put out the light.
“In the morning, Perri,” Kalina said in the darkness, “you and I are going to have a long talk.”
* * * * *
“From what Adm. Halvo has told me, the fault was not entirely yours,” Captain Jyrit said to Perri. “All the same, honor requires that you should make an apology. Even by Jugarian standards you have fulfilled that obligation handsomely. In return, my honor requires a polite acceptance of your honest words. I do accept your apology, Perri.”
“Thank you, Captain.” Perri found the Jugarian’s formality curiously restful. Dysia had suggested that she be completely honest with Jyrit. It seemed Dysia had been right. Perri only hoped Dysia was correct in her further advice that Perri tell Kalina everything she knew or suspected about the plot against Halvo.
“Jyrit, my friend.” Halvo, who had come with Perri and Kalina to the meeting, looked around the spare white room that served as the colony hospital. There were no patients other than Jyrit. “If you feel well enough, I would like to confer with you in private, for I trust your intuition as well as your extensive knowledge of the various Races.”
As Halvo spoke Perri noticed Jyrit’s antennae changing color. While she had offered her apology they had been a washed-out shade of orange that brightened slowly in reaction to her words. Now they were flushing a warm orange red in response to Halvo’s open attitude of friendship.
“Because Jugarian physiology requires continual motion, Herne has told me to practice walking about the room in order to speed the return of my usual strength,” Jyrit said. “We can talk while I do so. I hope, when he examines me later, Herne will declare me fit to join you and your family for the midday meal.”
“You will not require Perri or me for this conference,” Kalina said. “Come along, Perri. We, too, will take a walk.”
Halvo gave Perri an encouraging look but said nothing to contradict his mother’s plans. After taking a polite leave of Captain Jyrit, Perri followed the older woman across the central room and out the door, where both of them paused on the first step. Through the trees Perri could see several people who were apparently working on the two shuttlecraft that were sitting on the beach. She was not surprised when Kalina chose a path leading to the opposite side of the island.
“Now, then,” Kalina said as she walked briskly along, “let me begin by telling you that my anger against you has abated only a little as a result of Halvo’s explanations about your past and your handsome apology to Jyrit. Whatever excuses you may offer, they do not change the fact that you have done something you knew was wrong. Your abduction of my son was deliberately undertaken. However, in the interest of fairness, I am willing to listen to your own version of this sorry tale.”
It was a long story, but Perri told all of it with complete honesty, not sparing herself from blame. The only details she did not reveal were the account of the illegal mind draining of her nurse, Melri, and the implantation of Melri’s memories into Rolli. Perri was afraid that information would anger Kalina and prejudice her against both Perri and her robot. Perri did not want any harm to come to Rolli. She could foresee a future in which Rolli might again be her only comfort, and she did not want Rolli’s familiar personality to be changed in any way. Nor did Perri speak about her unpleasant intimate encounters with Elyr or her far more enjoyable lovemaking with Halvo. Those were private matters, though Perri believed the knowledge that she loved Halvo would probably have set Kalina even more firmly against her. When Perri was finished, Kalina walked on for a short distance before speaking.
“You have been criminally foolish,” Kalina said at last.
“I do not deny it. When this adventure began, I was an ignorant girl, trying to help a man to whom I was bound. I am much changed now. Dangers and unexpected experiences have made me wiser.” Perri met Kalina’s eyes squarely.
“Adding what you have just said to the information Captain Jyrit, Lieutenant Dysia, and I were able to obtain during our visit to Regula, and to what Halvo has told me,” Kalina said, “I believe that you and Halvo are correct in your assumption that there is more to his abduction than a simple exchange of Halvo’s life for Elyr s. The question is, what, exactly, is that plot?”
“I have thought about it until I have nightmares,” Perri said. “I cannot find a satisfactory answer.”
“Your dreams may be no more than the well-known effects of the Empty Sector,” Kalina said. “Speaking for myself, I have felt unsettled since shortly before I reached Dulan’s Planet. I do not know how Tarik and Narisa and the others tolerate it.”
“Perhaps their bodies and minds have adjusted after being here for several years,” Perri suggested.
“Possibly.” Kalina dismissed the idea to return to her original subject. “Your dreams, Perri, along with my unsettled state, may well disappear once we are safely returned to Jurisdiction space and on our way to Capital.”
Perri sighed. It always came back to that. There was no way for her to avoid going to Capital to face charges for what she had done.
“Your honesty with me speaks well for you,” Kalina said, “but I must tell you that I am not pleased by your intimate association with my son. I am neither blind nor stupid, Perri,” she added when Perri gasped at her blunt words.
“Halvo is an adult.” Perri did not know what else to say. “He makes his own decisions.”
“True.” Kalina’s severe expression softened only a little. “That does not mean I always approve of his decisions, or that I hesitate to voice my concerns to him. But I will strive to be fair to you, Perri. I will not allow my personal feelings to color the story I recount to Almaric when next I see him.”
“Thank you, Lady Kalina.” Perri told herself that was more than she could have hoped for, considering the seriousness of her crime.
“Now, you must excuse me. I want to spend the next few hours with Tarik, Narisa, and my grandson. I do not know when I will see them again after we leave here.”
Left to herself, Perri wandered farther along the path on which she and Kalina had been walking. She came out of the trees onto the southern shore, where rocks stud
ded the beach and she had a full view of the length of the lake. Someone was there before her.
Wrapped against the wind in a long, bright blue cloak, Osiyar stood looking at the water. Though his back was toward her, Perri knew who it was by his perfect stillness and by his gleaming golden hair.
“I have been waiting for you,” he said as she walked up behind him.
“You knew I would come?” Perri shot a glance at him. They stood side by side facing the lake; Osiyar had not taken his eyes off the water.
“It was a reasonable assumption. Kalina will want to devote as much time as possible to the family she has not seen for years. Alla is with Herne, performing a final examination of Captain Jyrit. This is a secluded place, where I often come to think. Why should you not find it, too?”
“I suppose everyone expects you to use your telepathy even for such minor matters,” Perri said.
“Only those who do not know me well. The Power requires energy and is exhausting to use.”
“It must be. I never thought about it before. Osiyar, I am beginning to wonder if I have some telepathic tendencies.” She went on to tell him about her brief experience with the Chon and about the nightmares. “Tarik said that Narisa has had similar episodes, but that she is not telepathic. Halvo thinks it is all the result of prolonged stress. What do you think, Osiyar?”
“Do you recall other such instances that happened before you came to Dulan’s Planet?” he asked.
“No, never.” Perri’s answer was swift.
“Then, I would not worry about your contact with the bird. If you had spoken to Herne about this, he might have told you of the day when one of the Chon contacted him. The experience left him with a terrible headache. You were more fortunate than he.” Osiyar’s face lit with a quick smile that was gone as fast as it came. “The dreams, however, are another matter. Perri, I believe that you know something you do not realize you
