She curtsied and made her way across the room to Robbie, leaving Rowenna to ponder her words in misery. Mary would have all the time she wished to spend with Robbie, while Rowenna would be forced to return to Ravenscrag and solitude.
Cecil was talking with one of Sir John’s servants but, seeing Rowenna standing alone, walked over to join her. They stood together, talking of nothing, which Rowenna was glad of as it gave her the chance to watch Robbie. She glanced once more at him. He was standing with his parents and Mary, but watching her and Cecil. She waved and gave him a beaming smile that hurt the muscles in her face. He leaned over to Mary and whispered something. They walked to where Sir John was seated and spoke. Cecil’s words turned to wool in Rowenna’s ears as she tried in vain to make out what they were saying.
She did not have to wait long to discover it, because Sir John stood and raised his hand. The effect was almost immediate as the guests ceased speaking and turned to face him.
‘My friends, we are gathered to honour Robbie for his success in the tournament, for his part in quelling the riots and for his impending advancement to the position of knight.’ He waited while everyone roared in approval. Rowenna dabbed the tears that had sprung to her eyes at the sight of her beloved cousin standing proudly before them all. Sir John had not finished, however. He looked between Robbie and Mary.
‘Before we are seated to dine, I am also pleased to announce that the connection with Master Danby, my most favoured squire, will be further secured by the marriage between him and my niece, Mary.’
A high-pitched whine filled Rowenna’s skull and she felt her skin grow cold and clammy. Inside she began to scream, Too late... Too late, and had to bite down on her tongue to reassure herself she was not doing it out loud. Was this what Robbie had been trying to tell her? At her side Cecil stood rigid. The tendons in his jaw were tight.
‘Did you know?’ Rowenna muttered to him.
‘Not I. I am not favoured with Rob’s confidence. You look surprised, too. I thought he would have told you,’ Cecil said.
‘I don’t think I gave him the chance,’ Rowenna whispered. She leaned against the table for support and realised she was half resting against Cecil. He looked down at her and she saw pity etched on his face. Were her emotions so clearly written that he could read her distress? He reached for her hand and pressed it gently without speaking. It was a kind gesture that at any other time would reach her heart, but now she was too numb to appreciate it. She stared around the room, barely making out the faces of the people who were beginning to cluster around Robbie and Mary, offering congratulations. Joanna caught Rowenna’s eye. She spoke to Hal and made her way back to her daughter. Cecil retreated as Joanna approached.
‘Don’t say anything,’ Rowenna said tightly before her mother could speak. Sympathy now would end what little composure she was retaining. She felt her bottom lip start to tremble and bit it hard. Joanna hugged her, then poured them both wine.
Rowenna took the cup. ‘You were wrong. I have to tell Robbie how I feel.’
‘What good could come of it?’ Joanna said, pursing her lips.
‘Better now than after he is married.’
‘Better not at all! He is engaged to be married, which is close enough that it would cause a scene,’ Joanna said sharply. She took Rowenna by the shoulders.
‘I told you before. A sensible woman would not dwell on what she cannot have, but look for what else there might be available.’
Rowenna pushed the empty cup back towards Joanna, thinking that if she could not have Robbie, she would rather have no one at all, for who could make her laugh and love and quiver inside as much as her friend? ‘I’m going home.’
‘You have to stay,’ Joanna said. ‘What would Robbie think if you left now? Go congratulate them.’
On leaden feet Rowenna joined the cluster around the couple. She watched as they spoke to everyone. Or rather, as Mary spoke. Robbie stood at her side silently. His smile seemed forced and didn’t reach his eyes, while Mary’s was full of glee. He looked more like a man being led to the scaffold than one who had achieved everything he dreamed of. A lump filled Rowenna’s throat and she could feel the prickle at her eyes that warned tears would form before long. She blinked furiously and took a deep breath, pinning a smile to her face before stepping forward.
‘Do we have your congratulations, Cousin?’ Robbie asked. His eyes bored into her and Rowenna couldn’t believe Mary was not aware of the intensity of his look. She leaned forward to kiss Mary’s cheek, then turned to Robbie. He made a move towards her, but she stepped back before he could embrace her. She longed to feel his arms around her, warm and tender as he had been the previous night, but he belonged to Mary now and Rowenna had no right to touch him. He froze and his eyes filled with hurt before he reached for her hand and pressed it tightly. Rowenna touched his hand as briefly as politeness would allow before withdrawing it. Somehow she found her voice to congratulate them before stepping away. His look of anguish as she departed was another wound inflicted on her already ruined heart.
She wanted to run from the inn and cry out her pain, but servants were starting to appear with platters of food and she was ushered to the table. She watched in despair as Mary took her place at Robbie’s side, giving him a brilliant smile. Rowenna had to console herself with knowing that Robbie had achieved his heart’s desire. Mary might prove to be a good wife and, if he never knew what she had said, he would surely be happily married.
* * *
The meal was a trial. Rowenna barely tasted the food that was put before her, finding it sticking in her throat. Anne and Lisbet talked around her, planning how to best approach their new sister, and she was content to let them. Roger and Lucy sat at Sir John’s table. Rowenna gained some satisfaction from watching Mary try and fail to charm Lucy, who seemed utterly unimpressed with her new daughter-in-law. She tried not to watch Robbie, who sat at his bride-to-be’s side, filling her goblet. His mouth was fixed in a smile, but it did not reach his eyes. As he looked at Rowenna he became solemn once again. She forced herself not to look at him, unable to bear the thought she was making him uncomfortable.
Had he proposed marriage to Mary before he had taken Rowenna into the garden and kissed her? She doubted it. Honour and fairness ran through Robbie as if it was welded to his bones and she was sure he would not have played either of them so ill.
In which case, it must have happened after Rowenna had left with Geoffrey. And after Mayor de Quixlay’s announcement of Robbie’s knighthood. Of course, that was the source of Mary’s interest. That and the sapphires Lucy wore.
* * *
When the meal had finished and the guests moved once more around the room, Rowenna found Mary. Robbie was speaking to Cecil and the two women stood side by side, watching the squires.
‘How long have you been in love with my cousin?’ Rowenna asked, annoyed at how wobbly her voice was.
‘In love?’ Mary put her hand on her heart and blinked in surprise. Rowenna did not believe her astonishment was real. ‘Oh, perhaps in the society you move in love is a consideration. How I wish sometimes I had the luxury of not having to consider my fortune or connections.’
Rowenna’s jaw tightened. What chance did she have to marry for love now that the man who owned her heart was engaged to this woman? She leaned in a little closer to Mary. ‘I told Robbie I had been engrossed in a conversation when I spilled water over you. It was yours I overheard. Shall I tell Robbie what you said and how you mocked him? Would he want to marry you then?’
‘Only if you wish to hurt him,’ Mary said. ‘We will be married. He is too honourable to reject a woman he has publicly shown interest in.’
‘You showed no interest in him last night,’ Rowenna said. ‘Why now?’
Mary’s smile was serene. ‘Robbie has shown he has excellent prospects and a bright future. He will be an excellent husband. My uncle was kee
n to make the match. It doesn’t matter for Robbie’s happiness whether I love him, only that he believes it and loves me in return. You do want him to be happy, don’t you? I can tell you care for him a great deal.’
Rowenna bowed her head and said nothing, but she seethed inside. Mary moved away and Rowenna was unsurprised when Cecil came to sit by her side. She was aware from the corner of her eye of Robbie watching her. She knew he had disapproved of her conduct with Cecil the night before and almost turned him away, but her heart was heavy and he had been kind before.
She moved up and let him squeeze on to the end of the bench and listened to his tales of life in Sir John’s household, affecting a smile and laugh when obliged to. She was not happy, but nor did she think she was about to burst into tears.
Her mother’s words from earlier in the day rang in her head.
Robbie was lost to her. If she could not have him, perhaps Cecil would do as well as any man.
Chapter Thirteen
The word had been spoken and the deal done. Robbie ate and drank and listened and smiled, and no one would have suspected that, far from being the happiest man in York, his heart was a dried husk. Mary flitted from person to person, clearly delighted at being a bride-to-be. Robbie wryly wondered if she was happier at that state than the prospect of their life together. She was currently being assailed by Lisbet and Anne, who appeared as excited as she was.
Unlike his parents. They walked over, and before they spoke Robbie could tell they were furious.
‘Come see us tomorrow,’ Roger said, shaking his head.
‘I’ll attend on you tomorrow,’ Robbie agreed.
Lucy turned back and snapped, ‘What are you thinking?’
They couple walked away to join Hal and Joanna. Robbie gripped the stem of his goblet and took a deep swig. Seeing his mother so irate was unbearable and, to his surprise, he found Roger’s obvious disappointment almost as hard to bear.
And then there was Rowenna.
Her dark curls and the blue gown that gave her figure such an arresting shape were easy to spot as she moved about the room. She was currently sitting with Cecil close to the open window. A light breeze lifted the strands of hair that had come loose from her ribbons as she tossed her head back and laughed.
Robbie’s entire body convulsed with jealousy and anguish. He repeated her words over and over in his mind. She did not love him as he loved her. She was content to be his friend and seemed equally content to keep company with Cecil. There had been brief moments of their snatched, private conversation where his spirits had risen and he had believed her feelings ran as deep as his, but nothing had given him a strong enough reason to believe she loved him. He had wanted an answer and he had been granted it.
Cecil whispered in Rowenna’s ear. She glanced over at Robbie and their eyes met. Her smile slid away and she pursed her lips, staring at him with eyes that were stripping him bare down to the bone and soul. Robbie knew her well enough to recognise her disapproval.
She had already hinted that she thought Mary frivolous and silly, and she was right. What a pity Robbie had been too infatuated to heed her words. Mary’s spiteful comment about keeping the water jugs away from her must have annoyed her, so she had another reason to disapprove of Robbie’s choice of bride.
Choice!
The more he thought about it, the less it seemed as if he had any alternative but to marry Mary. Weariness besieged him. He wanted to explain to Rowenna what had happened. It became the greatest importance to Robbie that she understood the marriage was not his choice.
He watched Rowenna keenly and noticed her eyes were startlingly bright and glossy. She looked fragile and it almost killed him to think Cecil was the one to comfort her. She blinked and the hint of tears was gone, replaced with a hardness he had never seen before. She nodded at him gravely, then turned back to Cecil, tilting her head and batting her eyelashes. Cecil stood and offered his hand to Rowenna. She paused momentarily before taking it and rising gracefully. She probably didn’t notice the way Cecil licked his lips and straightened his jerkin, but Robbie had seen the expression on his friend’s face a dozen times. If he wasn’t mistaken, Cecil was laying the foundations for a seduction and his earlier remarks about falling in love weren’t enough to ease Robbie’s mind.
Robbie eased his way through the people, praying no one would claim his attention. He reached them as Cecil was about to put his arm through Rowenna’s and called her name. She craned her head to look over her shoulder. Cecil gave him a stare that was a mixture of triumph and malevolence.
‘Can I help you, Rob?’ he said. ‘I’ll be back shortly. I’ve offered to escort Rowenna and her mother back home.’
‘I was hoping to speak to Rowenna.’
‘Shall I wait while you speak to your cousin?’ Cecil asked her. ‘We can continue our conversation as we walk home.’
She gave Robbie a penetrating stare that somehow communicated disdain and sorrow at the same time.
‘There is no need. I am tired. I would rather wait until I possess a little more strength.’
Rowenna didn’t tire after an evening of eating and mingling in a room. She was too vital, always strong, and he knew how she treasured every moment she was not isolated in Ravenscrag. It was a clear rejection. He had lost the friendship he had treasured. Robbie forced an easy smile on to his face, though inside he felt close to weeping.
‘It can wait,’ he said.
He watched the couple gather Joanna and leave. Robbie released his breath. If Aunt Joanna was there, Rowenna would be safe from Cecil’s advances. He would have years to explain the sad circumstances of his marriage to Mary, if she allowed him to explain. He returned to his seat and listened to Mary talk of dresses and gossip, and discovered that now he was no longer blinded in the light of her beauty, they had little to say to each other. He missed Rowenna’s quick wit and wished he had been bold enough to take her from Cecil and explain his mistake.
* * *
The following morning Robbie visited his parents as early as his duties would permit him to escape. He had hoped to see Rowenna, but she had left the house early to go to the market with Joanna and his sisters, who were taking advantage of an extra day in the city.
His mother hugged him, then glared. ‘Why in the name of all that is good are you marrying that insipid little piece of work? Has the thought of knighthood addled your brains?’
‘Can you be happy for me, Mother?’ Robbie asked, taking her hand.
Lucy sniffed. ‘If you can be happy, then I expect I can. I hope you’ve told her my sapphires will be Lisbet’s and Anne’s dowries when they marry. She couldn’t tear her eyes from them at the tournament.’
Robbie looked at the ring with the gem glinting in the sunlight. Of course Mary hoped it would be hers one day. She probably thought there would be caskets full. He’d exaggerated their wealth to impress her as they spoke at the tournament. It was something in her favour that Mary had obviously not thought to ask Sir John how accurate Robbie’s claims had been, otherwise she would not have been so keen.
Lucy pecked his cheek. ‘I’m going to market to join Joanna and the girls, and that poor young man they’ve doubtless charmed into acting as a packhorse.’
She swept from the room, leaving Robbie and Roger alone. Roger waited until her footsteps died away, then unearthed a bottle of wine from Hal’s pantry and poured two large measures.
‘A toast?’ he suggested, offering Robbie a cup. ‘To a knighthood well-deserved.’
Robbie gave a tight smile and accepted it. The wine was better than such an occasion warranted.
‘Mother isn’t happy.’
‘No, she isn’t. This betrothal is unexpected,’ Roger said. ‘I’m not sure I agree with her description of Mary, but she is a better judge of character than I am. Why did you do it, lad?’
Robbie’s hackles rose at the patron
ising tone.
‘You told me you approved when we spoke before.’
‘I said no such thing!’ Roger exclaimed.
Robbie drained his cup and refilled it. He glared over the top at his stepfather.
‘You said the whole family would approve after you had seen us together. That my eyes were expressive, or some such rot.’
‘When did I see you together?’ Roger’s face creased, then he frowned and threw his hands out wide. ‘Not Mary! I was talking about Rowenna after you rescued her from being crushed. If I didn’t know it was impossible, I’d have sworn the pair of you were already lovers, the way you held each other.’
Hot fire raced across Robbie’s throat and down his belly. He swallowed, remembering the great rush of protectiveness as he had held Rowenna and the way his senses had flared like kindling struck with a flint as she embraced him. Had that been the first step on the road to loving her? He ran his hands through his hair, pulling at it, and gave Roger an incredulous look.
‘Why didn’t you say who you meant?’
Roger rolled his eyes. ‘I didn’t think I had to. No one who had seen you two together would suspect you could be thinking of anyone else. It’s been clear to all of us the poor girl has been half in love with you for years. Why do you think she cajoled Hal into inviting you over as soon as you arrived?’
‘Rowenna loves me?’ Robbie’s heart had barely beaten since what he considered her rejection. Now it began thumping hard enough to burst free and fly around the room.
‘I didn’t know. I thought I had no hope.’
‘Did you ever ask her?’
Robbie shook his head, feeling like the greatest dullard in history. There was no point having hope now. His jaw tightened and he met Roger’s eye, expecting to see pity or, worse, amusement. Roger merely shrugged in the same careless manner he always did and took another drink.
A Midsummer Knight's Kiss (HQR Historical) Page 19
