by L. J. Dee
I smiled instinctively as Charlie grinned and the handsome man with black hair, peppered with grey flecks looked suspiciously between the two of us. “Why don’t you join us, we haven’t ordered yet,” Charlie smiled as Lucas slid into the soft gold seat of the booth, gesturing for me to sit opposite. It didn’t look as though I had much of a choice.
“What are you two doing down here?” Charlie asked.
“Business lunch. I want to see how things are going with the events company,” Lucas replied as the stranger sat next to him fixed me with a strange frown.
“What events company?” he asked as Lucas smiled broadly.
“The one I haven’t told you about yet, Dad,” he laughed as my heart lurched out of my chest. Dad? Oh God.
“Jessica, this is my father Silus. Dad, this is Jessica Evangelista. We’ve gone into the events business together. It seemed like a way to save on agency commission, run things in-house and pull in some external profit. Jessica is running it. It’s a very small operation and in its early days. Once she’s turned it into the success I know that she will, I’ll throw you a few shares,” Lucas grinned, looking at his father whose eyes were fixed firmly on me.
“Is this your first job out of University?” he asked as I shook my head.
“I didn’t go to University,” I said, watching as his stare narrowed and he glanced at Lucas. That was the first judgement right there, unless he’d noticed my supermarket brand suit in which case it might be judgement number two.
“Jessica studied at the school of life, Dad,” Lucas smiled as Charlie laughed and I hoped to God he wasn’t about to tell him about Dexter as the waitress wandered over to take our orders. I cast my eyes quickly down the list, ordering chicken salad and psyching myself up for the inevitable next question. Silus Hunter hadn’t known about the business and clearly didn’t like that fact. From the look on his face I was pretty certain he already didn’t like me much either.
“So what experience do you have in running a company, Jessica?” he asked as I tried to hold back my pending grimace and pulled myself up further in my seat. As introductions to the parents went, this was pretty shit. The answer was ‘none’, but I wasn’t going to run with that.
“I worked for Elite Entertainment for four years,” I smiled, hoping he’d leave it there, but it didn’t look like he was about to.
“In what capacity?” he shot back before I could even take a breath.
“Catering,” I said as he smirked knowingly, casting another glance at Lucas. I wasn’t going to spell it out that I’d been a waitress and a bad one at that, but from the look on his face, it appeared that he’d already guessed. I was grateful for the interruption as all eyes turned to the edge of the booth, until I saw who it was and my fake smile faded instantly.
“Lucas, Silus, Charlie, what a lovely surprise,” she purred, flicking her dark hair over the shoulder of her immaculate pale pink suit that was certainly not from the supermarkets own clothes line. This time I couldn’t hold back the grimace as Lucas glanced across at me.
“Roberta, you remember Jess my business partner,” he smiled as she looked me up and down before turning a sickly smile back onto Lucas.
“Business partner? I thought she was your P.A?” she said cattily as Charlie laughed and Silus frowned, no doubt wondering what the hell was going on.
“No. She’s my partner in a new entertainments venture,” he said as she raised her eyebrows before her gaze landed firmly on Charlie.
“I’m meeting Scarlett for lunch, perhaps we should reconsider the venue,” she said as Charlie looked at his father whose face was suddenly thunderous.
“Perhaps you should,” he said firmly as she waltzed off, and I listened to her heels clattering across the tiled floor of the restaurant, thinking all of a sudden that I’d rather lost my appetite.
Lucas seemed utterly oblivious to my current mood which was starting to irritate me, as his father turned his gaze suddenly on his eldest son. “At least someone’s got some sense, Lucas. I’ll never understand why you let a diamond like that one go,” he said as my stomach lurched.
Lucas took a sip of water, glancing at me briefly before back at his father and it was immediately evident he was not about to share the fact that we were romantically involved. Part of me was glad. The last thing I needed was to be compared to Little Miss fucking perfect, and I wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say anyway. ‘Hey Dad, meet my new sub, Jess’?
There was another part of me though that was undeniably pissed off, wondering if it was because he was ashamed of me. The comment about Roberta had only served to fuel my insecurity and made me shrink further into my seat. For the first time Lucas actually seemed to recognise my unease, sending me a reassuring smile and wrapping his leg around the back of mine underneath the table in a comforting gesture of support.
“I let her go because I didn’t love her. We have a business partnership and that’s it,” said Lucas firmly which appeased me momentarily. Charlie turned to smile at me and I couldn’t help but smile back, noticing Silus watching me closely and wondering if he’d guessed things between me and Lucas weren’t strictly business.
“Well you ought to be grateful she’s changing her lunch plans, the last thing we need is a run in with Scarlett Everett. That’s enough to give anyone indigestion,” Silus said coldly, turning to Charlie.
“She’s always been evil. I told Everett when she was two that she was the devil incarnate and I was right. He should have left the little bitch in whichever Godforsaken orphanage he plucked her from. Don’t you boys waste your life raising somebody else’s bastard, no good ever comes of it,” he said spitefully as I gasped audibly, unable to look at anyone and excusing myself quickly from the table.
I all but ran to the bathroom with my heart pounding through my chest, my face flushed in anger as I steadied myself on the sink and tried to calm my breathing. What the fuck?
I couldn’t believe what Silus Hunter had just said, his stinging words ringing through my ears and I knew right then what his attitude would be if he ever found out about Dexter.
He’d want Lucas back with the bitch Roberta and me gone, not tainting his wonderful son with my lack of education, cheap suits and bastard child. I was reeling. Half of me wanted to storm over there and say my piece, but it wasn’t an option and I knew it. I was Lucas’s submissive and his business partner and I had to keep my head professionally at the very least.
I doused my face in water, trying to calm the angry redness and took a deep breath, debating whether or not to call my sister. She wouldn’t have just sat there and taken that, but what the hell else could I do?
I stayed there for what felt like forever; surprised that Lucas hadn’t come looking for me. I eventually walked back into the restaurant that was bursting with activity only to see that Roberta had suddenly decided to occupy my seat, smiling at Lucas and laughing whole heartedly. So that was why. He could argue that he didn’t love her all he wanted, but there was no denying he enjoyed spending time with her. I wasn’t convinced it was all business and it gnawed in my gut.
They were closer in age and they were certainly closer in class and education. They were two beautiful, glorious specimens, and I knew that if they’d have walked in together everyone would have been thinking what a wonderful couple they made, not mentally calculating her shortcomings. My mind was swimming in negativity, hurtful thoughts crashing through my brain, sucking me through a vacuum of insecurity and I knew I couldn’t go back to that table. I had to get out of there.
I raced through the restaurant, noticing that no one was bothering to look at me now. Without the arm of the man I walked in with, I was the invisible girl I had always been and as I hit the street my insides were churning. I pounded the pavement, drowning in anger and hopelessness, wondering what the hell Lucas would make of my disappearing act. He wouldn’t be happy and probably even less so if he realised the reasons behind it.
I wished I had more experience when it
came to men and was better equipped to handle the barrage of negative emotions that seemed to hit me out of nowhere like a wrecking ball, crashing through my skull and consuming me whole. I wasn’t sure what to do, pulling out my phone and sending a text.
‘I’m not coming back’
As soon as I sent it I was flooded with guilt. None of these feelings were his fault. They were my insecurities, my own illogical jealousy and doubts. Lucas had done nothing but reassure me, but it didn’t cut through the hurt I felt as I glanced behind me, suddenly wondering if maybe I should go back. If it had been a stupid move personally, it had been epically foolish professionally.
I jumped on the red London bus that pulled up alongside me, splattering my skirt with the gritty remnants of rain at the edge of the pavement, and grateful for the first time that my suit was machine washable and not Chanel. I wasn’t even certain where it was going, but needed some space to think, taking a seat behind the driver and checking my phone. He hadn’t text back.
The comment from Silus had stung deeply, but the lack of communication from Lucas was stinging even more. He’d be mad, furious probably, and it was the last thing I wanted, staring at my phone as we weaved slowly through the busy streets until I finally hopped off near Charing Cross and decided to head home.
I waited for the right bus this time, looking around me at the people in the queue and trying to assess whether their lives were half as complicated as mine had suddenly become. I wasn’t sure what was going on in my head. One minute I was elated, soaring under Lucas’s sexual instruction, and the next, rapidly spiralling out of control into a vortex of pessimism, insecurity and self disapproval. I’d never behaved like this before and needed to run it by my sister. No doubt she’d have a theory on it and I needed to hear it whether I wanted to or not.
“He said what?” she snapped angrily as I regaled the tale of my disastrous business lunch. “I hope you gave the old bastard a piece of your mind,” she said as I sighed deeply. Maybe I should have, but what did it matter. It wasn’t as if Lucas was raising Dexter or ever would. “No, I ran,” I replied, listening to her pace around the apartment.
“I’m not good enough for him, Chas. I don’t know why I even thought I could make this work,” I said, swallowing hard and I could tell from her breathing she was absolutely furious.
“He is the one who isn’t good enough for you,” she spat as I heard the sound of persistent banging in the background before Lucas’s low deep voice boomed across our lounge.
“Is she here?” he asked and there was silence.
“I’m going now, Jess. Some dickwad just turned up and there are a few things he needs to hear,” she said as the phone went dead and my heavy heart sank in my chest, wishing I’d have caught the tube. I wasn’t certain it was Lucas who needed a reprimand, jumping off the bus two stops early and running as fast as I could. I was panting and breathless as I reached the apartment, pulling open the door and half expecting to walk into world war three.
I was shocked by the sight that greeted me, glancing briefly at Lucas who was sitting coolly in the chair, his face set in that familiar unreadable line before turning my gaze on Chas who looked like she’d been thoroughly chastised. It was as unusual as it was disconcerting and I threw her a puzzled frown as she looked up at me and announced that she was going out.
I stared at Lucas as he rose from the chair, his demeanour the same as it was the morning of the cancelled New York trip as a shiver of fear ran through me. He looked controlled, calculating and more than a little menacing.
“Don’t ever fucking leave me in a restaurant again,” he said firmly as I swallowed hard against his gaze, confusion tearing me up inside and I had to say my piece.
“What? I’m supposed to put up with everyone staring at me on your arm like I don’t deserve to be there? You saw how people looked at me when we walked in. Then your dad made that horrible comment, and I came out of the bathroom to see your perfect fiancée sitting in my seat,” I snapped, trying to conceal the guilt I felt with hurt and anger.
“Ex-Fiancée, and am I responsible for any of that?” Lucas asked as I shook my head, trying to hold back the tears. He wasn’t and I knew it, but I was struggling with so many emotions right now it was difficult to cope.
“No” I whispered quietly as he tilted his head, searing me with a gaze so intense it stole the breath from my lungs.
“No, Jessica, and yet I am the one you walked out on,” he said as I gazed at the floor. I didn’t have an excuse, only the truth.
“I couldn’t handle it,” I said, which only seemed to increase the barely contained rage that was simmering just below the surface of that outwardly calm facade.
“Well start handling it. You’re with me because I want you to be and I thought that’s what you wanted too. My father’s comment was not aimed at Dexter and if you knew Scarlett, you might even find yourself agreeing with him. Roberta came back to the table to tell us that Tyler’s record company is up for sale. She thought I might be interested as a business associate and a friend because that’s what we are now. You’d have known all this if you’d bothered to stay.”
“Well I can only imagine what your father would say if he knew about Dexter,” I said, trying to hold my point and make excuses for my behaviour even though I knew it was utterly futile and carried no weight.
“I am all out of give-a-fucks, princess, but I am not all out of punishments. I have no idea what is going on in your head right now. If you want this, Jessica, be at the club tomorrow. If not, then don’t,” he said, turning and walking angrily out of the apartment as I slumped into the couch and sobbed. I wanted it more than he knew, and that was the whole problem and the reason I was acting so crazy. I needed Lucas, but from the bite of his angry words just now, I wasn’t convinced he was entirely bothered either way and the thought absolutely crushed me. I needed to get my shit together.
CHAPTER 18
I was filled with trepidation today and an anxiety that was unfamiliar to me as I made my way into the club. Lucas had been furious yesterday and I knew that I was about to experience proper punishment for the first time and my heart was pounding. I’d re-read the contract last night and broken practically every submissive rule there was to break.
I was early and glad I’d decided to seek out Zac’s advice. I didn’t feel in a position to ask Lucas anything right now, and needed to work with this fear before it consumed me completely. I made my way slowly to his office, trying to quell the nerves that were running riot through my veins.
I’d fucked up and I had to pay, wondering what the hell that payment would be and stopping dead outside the door of Zac’s office which was open just enough for me to hear the deep voice that was so familiar. I shouldn’t stay, or at the very least I should make my presence known, lifting my hand to knock quietly.
“I’m not certain this thing is going to work out, Zac,” I heard, my hand freezing mid air and clenched as tightly as my chest when a deeper fear gripped me. The fact that Lucas could decide to end this, crushed me far more powerfully than any anxiety about a damn punishment. I stood there silent and wide eyed listening to Zac’s deep chuckle.
“You’re a strict Dom, Lucas. You are renowned for it and you have to make a number of adjustments. You’ve already spent more time with Jess than you have with your other submissives. I understand why you’d want to whip her. I’d feel the same way, but she’s in training and you know well enough never to deliver punishments in genuine anger,” he said as Lucas laughed gently.
“Yeah I do, and I’m not certain I’d stop at ten lashes, she drives me fucking crazy,” he said as I was gripped by anxiety.
“I don’t know if she’s cut out for this. It’s difficult to tell because she has so little experience and I think she’s only doing it for me. It would be easier if she’d been into the lifestyle before we met and then I’d know for sure. Sexually, I’m pretty certain she’ll let me do anything, that’s not the problem. The issue is that she can
’t seem to manage the basics,” he said, his voice suddenly serious as I stood there debating whether to try and force my iron feet to move. I’d learnt before that eavesdropping on Lucas’s private conversations could land me in serious hot water.
“She stormed out on me in the middle of a fucking business meeting because my father made a comment that she didn’t like. Jesus Christ, if any employee had done that I’d have fired them on the spot and if an experienced sub did it, well I don’t even want to think about what I’d be doing for my retribution,” he said as Zac chuckled deeply.
“Give her a chance, Lucas. You’re not used to your lives overlapping any more than she is. On top of that you’re used to experienced subs. Training can be tough and the first few weeks are always a tremendous learning curve – for both of you. It isn’t an Amelia situation, is it?” Zac asked as Lucas laughed and my stomach churned. Who the fuck was Amelia?
“No. Amelia was a non-starter. Jess is different, but I’ll know for certain today whether we can move forward with things as they are. It will be the first serious punishment she’s had,” he said as I tiptoed backwards, away from the door and scurried off to our room with my heart thumping through my chest. I sat on the bed, Lucas’s words whirling through my brain.
I had to do this. If I wanted this to continue with Lucas I had to show him I could be a submissive and that I was learning. The alternative was unthinkable as I blinked away the hot tears that were pricking at the back of my eyes. We had only just started on this journey and I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but there was no way I wanted it to stop. If it was the whip I would have to accept it, trust Lucas not to take it too far or punish me more than I could handle. It came down to trust and ‘red’; the one word that could put an end to it if I really couldn’t handle it.
