by CK Dawn
A quiet moment passed as they admired the rolling deep blue waves frothing and swirling around the ship. “How long until we reach land?”
“We’ll reach the cove near Sanee in three weeks,” Blair replied.
“When will we meet with Mer’s parents?”
“In two.”
Lilja pursed her lips. “That’s going to be a problem.”
Her first mate laughed. “You don’t say?”
“We’ll have to lock him up.”
“He won’t like that.”
“I’m sure he won’t.”
“He’ll fight.”
“Not if I drug him.”
Blair glanced at her from the corner of his eye and sniggered at her devious expression. “He has no idea what he did when he accepted your help.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Lilja sniffed. “I am an upstanding individual.”
“You are a fraud, a thief, and a pirate.”
“I only steal from bad people.”
“Still doesn’t make it right.”
“I don’t see you complaining.”
“I made my peace with what I am and what you are a long time ago.”
“You’re not so bad.” She bumped her shoulder against Blair’s.
“I used to be.”
The air around them grew heavy at his statement. “Not anymore,” Lilja said carefully, lowering her voice. “The person you were doesn’t exist anymore. You made the choice to be better.”
“I can’t change how I was created.”
“No, but the warlords experiments were out of your control. How you were raised was out of your control. But how you acted once you realized what the warlord was doing was in your control, and you made the right decision.”
“It doesn’t change what I’ve done.”
No, it didn’t, but you couldn’t change the past. “What matters is that you feel remorse for what you’ve done. You now know it was wrong to take women and breed them. You changed the way you think and act. That is what matters. You’ve made amends.”
He gestured to the ship angrily. “This? Pirating Scythian ships?”
“We’re saving lives.”
“Something needs to change, Lil. We aren’t changing a damn thing. Damien is still ruling and experimenting.”
She stabbed a finger towards the galley. “Those girls we just rescued are proof that we are making a change. Each and every one of their lives were saved because of our actions.”
“It’s not enough.”
“It has to be for now.”
He glanced at her. “We need to know what is going on inside the borders.”
Her throat tightened. She knew where he was leading with this conversation. They had argued about it time after time. “We can’t go back in.”
“No, you can’t go back in.”
“You’ll die if you do.”
“Maybe, maybe not.”
A part of her knew he was right. They wouldn’t overturn a corrupt warlord by pirating his ships. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“The bridge is looming in front of us.”
“You need to let the hurt and guilt go, or it will eat you up inside. Entering Scythian lands won’t make that disappear.”
Blair’s smile was bittersweet. “It’s not easy, or simple.”
“No, it’s not,” Lilja stated bluntly. “I should know.”
He met her eyes, a grave expression on his face. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Her breath seized at the reminder, and her eyes dropped to the deck. “I should have been more careful.”
Blair slipped his hand into hers, holding tight. “Look at me.”
Lilja lifted her eyes and met Blair’s gaze—his eyes the deep brown of chocolate.
“It was not your fault. You did everything right. You protected her and yourself. Sometimes these things happen.”
“It was an accident,” she whispered, never taking her eyes off him. “I shouldn’t have fought him.”
Blair’s face hardened, looking like he was cut from stone. “No, even if you hadn’t fought that monster, Gem wouldn’t have been safe.”
Soul-wrenching pain stabbed her. Gem. Blair rarely said her name. Lilja blinked back her tears, refusing to cry. “I wish…I wish things were different. I—” she hiccupped.
Blair gave her a sad smile that echoed her own pain. “As do I.”
That simple statement gave Lilja a measure of peace. She wasn’t alone. Gem would never be forgotten; her memories would live on in their hearts.
Her first mate blew out a breath and released her hand, grabbing the rail. “You know, you could meet a man and settle down to have a wonderful family.”
“Nothing could replace Gem,” she barked.
He glanced at her, lips thin. “That’s not what I meant. I know you desire a family, and yet you stay on this ship crusading.”
She pressed her lips together, moved to Blair’s side, and leaned against the rail. It wasn’t something she was going to discuss today. “I could say the same of you,” she deflected.
“Family life is not for me; the sea is my mistress.”
“I beg to differ—you would make a wonderful father.”
The corner of his mouth tipped upwards. “Are you saying you fancy me, Lil? You want to have my children?”
Lilja studied him, ignoring his teasing tone. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “You are the one person I can depend on in the world. I have no intentions of marrying, but if I did, you would be the first person I’d call upon.”
Blair brushed his thumb across the top of her hand. “And I you.” He glanced up, peering through his black lashes at her. “I’ve no plans for that kind of life, but if you asked for marriage and a child, I would give that to you. I love you.”
They were a sad pair, the two of them. Both broken and scarred. Their experiences had bound them in ways most people would never be able to understand. They loved each other, but they weren’t in love with each other. Blair was the only family she had. “You know I love you.”
Blair straightened and flashed her a smile. “Such heavy subjects today.”
“It’s having Mer aboard. I wish I could tell her who I am.”
“There’s no reason why you cannot.”
“I have every reason. It’s enough to be her friend.”
A soft smile lit her friend’s face. “She breathes life into the people she’s around.”
“I wish I could bottle it up.”
“You would make a fortune off it.”
Lilja sniggered. “Just like a pirate. Always thinking about profit.” A wicked smile danced across Blair’s handsome face, making him look like a true pirate with his black hair, dark eyes, and sea-stained leather.
“I live to loot.”
“That’s a bad line,” she accused.
Blair winked, and glanced over her shoulder. “Higgins isn’t cleaning a damn thing, that bag of lazy bones.” He brushed a kiss on her cheek and strode away, barking at Higgins.
She tipped her head back, basking in the warm sun. Down in the deep, Sirenidae didn’t experience the sun. When she had first come above, the sun had burned her something awful, but after a time, her skin began to build a tolerance and absorb the rays, turning her pale coloring to a soft golden color. Still not tan like her crew, but at least she wasn’t the color of a dead fish. In the deep, the dark blues complimented pale skin, but in the harsh light of day it was odd.
Lilja cracked her neck and decided she needed to make friends. If Hayjen didn’t trust her, it was going to be a long couple of weeks. She spun and followed the delicious smells of the kitchen. She sauntered in, smiling as the room quieted and many of the women’s eyes followed her. Stopping in front of the cook, the thin man who created food that could tempt anyone’s palate, she smiled. “What do we have today?”
His thin mustache lifted as he smiled. “Soup, and a hearty bread, Captain.”
“Mmmm,” she hummed as he doled
out her lunch. Lilja thanked him and moved to an open spot among the slave group. She smiled at everyone and ignored their stares as she began to eat. They weren’t used to her, but they had warmed up. A little body plopped down next to her, almost knocking over her soup.
“Mer!” a deep voice scolded. “Watch what you are doing.”
Lilja peeked at Mer looking properly chastised and grinned at her, letting her know it was okay. “That’s alright, no harm done.”
The little girl’s lilac eyes looked up at her with excitement bubbling just under the surface. “Do you like it? I helped Cook make it.”
“It’s delicious. You did a fine job.”
Mer leaned forward and gestured to Lilja to do the same. Lilja cocked her head so the little girl could speak in her ear.
“What makes it so good is the secret ingredient. Cook says the secret ingredient is love. I put lots of love into the soup.”
Lilja grinned at Mer. “I can tell. Only love would taste so good!”
“You did a fine job,” the quiet woman she’d come to know as Lera spoke.
“How are you today, Lera?” she asked.
The mousy woman gave her a sweet smile. “I am well, thanks to you.”
She waved a hand at Lera. “All I did was provide the vessel for you to escape on. You kept yourself alive and whole on a Scythian slaver. That’s extraordinary.” And it was.
“Many of us would have died if it weren’t for Hayjen.”
So that explained the worshipful looks the girls cast at the burly man.
Lilja finally looked at the man who hadn’t stopped staring at her since she walked through the galley doors. His eyes still shocked her. They were such an ice blue that it felt like if you got too close, you would be cold. She’d never seen eyes like his. Ironic really—he had probably never seen eyes like hers either. He broke their stare off and looked to Lera.
“Anyone else would have helped.” Hayjen glanced around the group. “It was your care for each other and your determination to stay strong that kept you alive.”
Lilja observed the reaction of the women around him. Most of them stared at him like he held the moon. He was a natural leader; he was humble, kind, fierce, and self-sacrificing. The women were lucky that he had been captured with them.
She felt eyes on her and glanced at a girl around the age of 15 staring at her. Lilja smiled and raised a brow. The girl colored and dropped her eyes to her lap. “Was there something you wanted to ask?” The murmurs halted as the girl turned a bright shade of red. “It’s okay to speak to me.”
The girl’s eyes darted from the slave leader to Lilja, and back to her lap. “I a-am curious about your eyes, my lady.”
Lilja snorted. “I am no lady, I am a pirate. Please call me Lilja.”
“Lilja,” the girl tested.
“What’s your name?”
“Beth.”
“Well, Beth,” Lilja leaned forward, “I was born with these eyes.” She crossed her eyes, making some of the women giggle around her. “Do you like the color?”
“They’re pretty,” Beth commented.
“They’re not pretty.” Hayjen’s deep voice rumbled through the room. “They’re striking and exotic.”
She ignored his comment and focused on Beth. “That’s nice of you to say, but I would love to have beautiful hazel eyes like yours. They remind me of a forest at autumn time.”
Beth tucked a hair behind her ear, blushing. “Thank you, Lilja.”
Lilja lounged on the pillow behind her, and eyed the girls. “It’s interesting that we admire others’ beauty but we rarely see it in ourselves. Why do you think we do that?”
“Because we live with the flaws every day,” a girl named Jess spoke.
“Ah, but what makes them flaws? Who told you that they were flaws?”
“My mum used to say my hair looked like yellow straw instead of silk.” Jess brushed her thick blond hair out of her face.
Beth pointed at her own cheeks. “Boys made fun of my freckles.”
“Exactly.” Lilja sat up. “Others belittled things about your body so that now you look at it in a negative light. Don’t buy in to what they say. You only have one body. Love it and take care of it. Their opinions only influence you if you let them.” She stood and turned in a circle. “What do you see?”
“Sex and grace,” Lera blurted.
Lilja nodded and met the girl’s eyes. “At one time, others condemned me and ridiculed me for it. They tried to shame me because of my long limbs and curves. They blamed me for their lust. After a while, I began to believe them, to blame myself and hate my body. All I saw were flaws and sin.”
“How did you change?” Beth asked.
“A close friend told me differently. He said if I couldn’t accept myself, how could others? That stuck with me. It took time, but eventually I accepted that this is the body I was born with and I began to love it.” Dropping into a crouch, she popped a piece of bread into her mouth and chewed, watching as the women absorbed what she had said. She swallowed and continued. “Stop looking for flaws in yourself and embrace the beauty. Each and every one of you are beautiful. I see it, and Hayjen here sees it.” Lilja brushed Mer’s white blond hair out of her face and stood. “Thank you for the wonderful conversation. I hope to have dinner with you all later.”
She turned her back and allowed herself a smile as the conversation continued with them telling each other what they appreciated about each other. Quiet steps followed her. “Yes?” she said, turning abruptly to speak with whoever was following her. Lilja’s nose came in contact with a very broad chest. One that smelled extremely pleasing.
She didn’t expect that.
Lilja stepped back and tipped her head back to meet his gaze.
Ice eyes.
Stunning face.
Silky hair.
He was too damn attractive.
And moved like a griffin.
She was in trouble.
Five
Hayjen
Her magenta eyes stared into his with, if he wasn’t mistaken, a hint of attraction.
Well, good. She was too bloody beautiful to look at. It would only be fair if she thought he was attractive as well. Hayjen put those thoughts away for later and focused on what he had to say to her.
“Thank you.”
She blinked. “You’re welcome.”
Hayjen hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “For in there.” The captain’s brilliant smile about blinded him.
“They are wonderful. They deserve to feel that way.”
“They are coming back to life.”
Her lips pursed as she peered around his shoulder. “It will be a long time before they will heal. Right now they are running on a high of being free, of being out of danger.” Her eyes moved to his. “Soon enough they’ll drop and we’ll have to keep an eye on them.”
“We’ll?” he questioned.
“It will be three weeks until we reach the cove near Sanee,” she explained.
“So long?” He was hoping to get to his sister sooner than that.
“Scythia is a long way from Sanee, and I am only repeating what my first mate told me.”
“Blair?”
“Yes, Blair.”
Something in her tone made him pause. There was more feeling in her voice than he would have expected to hear if she was talking about a typical crew member. His heart sank a little bit—despite himself, he was intrigued by this female creature. “I would like to speak with you and your first mate this evening if possible.”
“That can be arranged. I will fetch you when dinner is served. Now if you’ll excuse me.”
She sauntered down the hallway, every step fluid like she was dancing. The captain was great with the girls, but he couldn’t help but being suspicious. Was she after something else? Hayjen shook his head. What could she be after? They didn’t have anything of value other than their skin. But again his skeptical side reared its head. No one did anything for nothing.
“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?” Jess asked.
“Hug my family,” Beth quietly replied.
Hayjen watched them, marveling at how free they looked. He would have done everything in his power to help these women escape, but there at the end he hadn’t thought they were going to make it.
A little white-blonde head plopped down next to him and snuggled into his side. Mer. Automatically, he wrapped his arm around her. He stared down at the crown of her head in awe and terror. In awe that such a precious creature was under his care. In terror that he would find her family and have to hand her over. Also, if he was honest, terrified that she was under his care. Hayjen planned on having a family, but not until he passed his thirty-fifth year. That was still seven years down the road. He dropped a kiss on to the sleepy little girl’s head and settled on his side to make her more comfortable, even though it pulled on his wounds.
“Love you,” Mer whispered.
Hayjen brushed the hair from her face and tipped her chin up, brushing his nose against hers. “Love you too, Mer.” She gave him a gap-toothed smile before falling asleep curled into his side. He looked over her sweet face and marveled at her innocence. He glanced up to see most of the women staring at him with affection.
“How did I get so lucky?” he asked no one in particular.
“She’s the lucky one. We all are,” Lera spoke up.
Hayjen looked down at Mer, watching her eyes flicker behind her lids. “I don’t know how to care for her.”
“You’ve done a good enough job so far,” whispered a gangly girl named Belle.
“She was almost eaten by Leviathan.” The words tasted sour in his mouth.
“But she wasn’t,” soothed Lera.
“What will I do if I can’t find her family?” He looked up at the girls. “I will need to work to support her. Who will stay home and care for her? Teach her? I know nothing of little girls, other than my sister.”
