by Devyn Dawson
Garrett comes up from behind me.
“Caide, let her go…. You should talk to her when you’re sober. Jed will make sure she’s okay.” Garrett says as we both stand and watch River storm away with Jed close at her heels.
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Chapter Ten
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there,
Wondering, fearing,
Doubtin, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dreamed before.
Edgar Allan Poe
SATURDAY MORNING - CAIDE
My parents live in Pine Knoll Shores, in a pretentious neighborhood with a gated entrance and homeowner association dues. Mom has been sick for a week, but insists she’s feeling better. She invited River and I over for dinner, I haven’t had the balls to tell her River hasn’t talked to me in a week. Wednesday, I expected to see her and her friend Ryan at the taping but I didn’t. I don’t know if Ryan was there or not, I’ve never met him so I don’t know. She hasn’t replied to the messages I’ve left for her. To avoid any tension in the meetings, I’ve been going to earlier sessions. This girl has weaseled into my thoughts and a few of my wet dreams.
Instead of her sexy body and sexy voice, I have Garrett. Fuck my life.
“Hey mom, this is Garrett, the guy who’s babysitting me until an arrest is made.”
Mom is fifty-one and an avid tennis player. She tells me it is the best aggression therapy towards rude customers. I’ve always been close to both of my parents. “Hi Garrett, I’m Lucinda and my husband Tim will be in here in a moment.”
“Nice to meet you ma’am,” Garrett says and holds his hand out to her.
Her tan hand grasps his with both of hers and shakes. “Where’s River this evening, I was looking forward to meeting her.”
“Long story and one I’m not ready to tell just yet. Does dad need any help in the kitchen?” We walk through the magazine-ready house to the family room. The high-tech sunroom was added on after I bought the beach house. The room overlooks the landscaped backyard. There’s a manmade river around the garden, with a waterfall and beautiful Koi Fish pond. Mom’s proud of the gorgeous yard. Recently, she’s opened it to a photographer who does bridal portraits in the yard.
“Caide, you know your dad, he can handle the kitchen alone. Would you like a cocktail, Garrett?”
“No ma’am, but I could go for a glass of sweet tea.”
“Perfect, but if you change your mind, I’m a pretty good bartender,” Mom smiles at him. “Caide, are you drinking today?”
“I’ll have a glass of tea too. Garrett doesn’t drink much while on duty; he wants to be in control if something happens.”
Garrett’s a quiet guy, but I bet he has a wild side to him. He smiles a lot, as though he has an inside joke about everything in life. He never talks about his personal life but he will talk about things that have happened on the police force. His brother is more outgoing, but I like Garrett’s demeanor.
Garrett’s tone for a text message suddenly chimes. He looks at the text and turns the phone to me to read.
TURN ON CHANNEL TWELVE - A PRESS CONFERENCE IS ABOUT TO START. THERE IS AN INDICTMENT OF A SUSPECT.
He shrugs his shoulders as I look up from his phone.
“Mom, can you turn the TV to channel twelve?”
Police Chief Davis is standing at a podium outside the police department and the camera pans out to show the reporters with their pens and paper in hand.
Good afternoon, thank you for coming. I have a statement prepared and will not be taking any questions since this is an open case. Earlier this morning, there was an arrest made in the Apple Sacks fire. We’ve arrested Jacob Stringer for the harassment of local business owner River Murphy. We do have Mr. Stringer in our custody and will be questioning him regarding the charges. It is believed he was not acting alone and there are at least two more people involved. That is all we’re going to say, thank you. If you have any information regarding the arson to Apple Sacks, please contact Crime Stoppers. Media, remember, this is an open case under investigation. No further information. Thank you.
Who the hell is Jacob? Her date was Lance; we gave the police the pills I got from Lance. I take my phone out and call River, on the fourth ring I almost hang up when I hear her voice on the other end.
“River, are you okay?”
“I’m fine; I guess you just saw the news conference. Of course you did, you have Garrett with you,” her sarcasm is foreign to my ears.
“I didn’t mean to piss you off by calling, I care about you River.” And there it is….my inner-pussy has surfaced. “Do you know this Jacob guy?”
“You know, that’s the hard part for me…you told me it was Lance who drugged me but this is someone totally different. Explain it to me….for all I know you know this Jacob character. I’m just a girl you decided was a challenge to get into your bed so you pulled this big charade.”
I go to one of the guest bedrooms. “What? You think I tricked you to get you in bed? Do I need to remind you that I’m the one who put a halt to us having sex? I can’t believe you suspect I’d do something like that. I know you don’t believe it, because if you did, you’d have the cops all over me. Sorry little lady, but I don’t have time to be involved in someone’s else’s drama. Why would I decide I needed the drama that surrounds you? Get a fucking grip on yourself.” Pissed off doesn’t begin to describe how I feel.
“Caide, I don’t mean to be angry, but I barely knew you when I saw you at the club. Don’t you think it would be foolish of me to just accept your story without questioning the details? My life was normal until you walked into my session, now everything is lost…” A sob escapes her and her voice cracks. “I’m sorry… that was wrong for me to say….this is all too much.”
I want nothing more than to pull her in and wrap my arms around her. “River, I wasn’t with that girl on the beach…not even close to being with her. I know how it must have looked, but I don’t cheat when I’m in a relationship.” We hadn’t talked about being in a relationship, but I think it was implied.
“You thought we were in a relationship?” Her voice goes up an octave as she talks.
“Yeah, I want a relationship with you. I don’t want you mad at me River.”
“Caide Palmer, I know about the girl and the beach…Garrett called me this morning and told me what happened. That’s why I answered your call.”
“I have to go to my office tonight to make sure I have everything I need for my segment…you want to come up there and help me?”
“Do you forgive me for my outburst?” Her voice sounds so small, it grips my heart and squeezes.
“River, don’t worry about it, you’ve had your world flipped upside down. Come over to my office at six.”
“I’ll see you at six.”
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Chapter Eleven
As in that fleeting, shadowy, misty strife
Of semblance with reality, which brings
To the delirious eye, more lovely things
Of Paradise and Love - and all our own!
Than young Hope in his sunniest hour hath known.
Edgar Allan Poe
SATURDAY MORNING - RIVER
Dear Daddy,
Today is your fiftieth birthday and I wish I could see you one more time. This past year was going so well and then everything went to hell in the last month. I miss you so much. I don’t cry myself to sleep anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you and miss you.
I can’t help but think how different life would have been if you’d been here. Momma wouldn’t have been the pathetic alcoholic she turned out to be. She was weak and never tried to make life better. No one from her side of the family talks to me, it’s as though I never existed. Momma burned all the bridges with her family and they turned away from both of us.
So, I met someone…who’s perfect in many ways, but he’s had it rough this year. We met almost five weeks ago. He goes to the mee
tings I do and he has a little girl. He’s a chef and you don’t know this about me, but I love to bake. He’s complicated and wrong for me, but there’s something so right about him and that makes me want to know more. Maybe nothing will come of it…
Don’t quit watching over me…and help the police find who it is that’s been terrorizing me. I love you so much….Daddy, don’t forget me - I’ll never forget you, I promise.
Love - Snuggle Bunny River
I read through the letter and just like the years before, I crumple it up and throw it away. Tears burn my eyes, but I don’t allow them to fall. I curl up with the teddy bear my daddy gave me for my fifth birthday and fall asleep.
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Jed is like a mouse, you know he’s there, but he’s quiet. We talk but he doesn’t let you get into his life. He talks only about the world and work, which is refreshing not to worry about someone else’s drama.
The phone ringing wakes me up. Garrett’s number comes across my caller ID. Garrett’s number has come up for three days in a row. He never leaves a message, which makes me wonder if it’s really Caide trying to trick me into answering his call. This time I’ll answer and if Caide tricked me, I’m going to scream.
“Hello,” I answer gruffly.
“River?”
“Yes, this is River.”
“Oh, hey, this is Garrett. Do you have a couple of minutes to talk?”
I let my defenses down and slump back onto my bed, which I haven’t made in three days. “Sure, what’s up?”
“Look, I don’t typically get involved in the he-said, she-said drama, but that night was innocent. That crazy girl came out of nowhere and Caide had a little too much to drink….he tried to keep her from falling, in turn, he fell. She had been around us for less than two minutes before that happened. Caide had talked about you all night, he’s crazy for you. A blind man can see how much he likes you.”
“He kissed her though.”
“No, he didn’t. She kissed him; he was pushing her away when you walked up. He’s been like a lost puppy this past week; I think you should hear him out.”
Oh shit, he’s going to hate me. No wonder he hasn’t come to my sessions, he’s pissed at me. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“I’ll talk to you later, Garrett. Thank you, for telling me.”
“Okay, bye.”
I sit up in bed and swallow the lump in my throat. What if I’ve lost him? I think of all the mean things I said to him that night, and I drop my face into my hands and cry. I’ve been on the brink of tears for the last few days and now the flood gates spill over and I may never be able to stop them.
My father’s favorite song was Cry Me a River sang by Ella Fitzgerald. He named me River because he said he’d cry a river if he ever lost me. I turn on my playlist of all the songs that remind me of my dad. I have five versions of Cry Me a River, and I’m still in-love with Ella’s version.
The tears cleanse me of all the stress I’ve been feeling.
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“Jed, what does break in the case mean? Did they arrest Lance?” We’re sitting in my living room. Jed is sitting on my black couch, which he says is swanky. He thinks everything in my house is ‘swanky’ - it sounds funny when he says it in his Barry White voice.
“No, this guy’s name is Jacob. They found his fingerprints on the bomb debris. He’s on a watch list for making explosives. The State Investigator said they’ve had him on their radar for a while. There was an explosion at a church in Charlotte two years ago, they’re pretty sure it was him. His fingerprints were found there, but the bomb was clean. The same type of bomb is what was used at your place. They told me that he wasn’t working alone.”
“Oh my God, that’s horrible. Did anyone die at the church bombing?” My hands start to tremble as I think about what could have happened if anyone was at work.
“I don’t know any of the details, there’s going to be a press conference in ten minutes. We’ll probably be called in tomorrow for another interview.” Jed tips his head side to side to pop it, he does it all day long like a nervous tic. I’d tease him about it, but he’s so serious I don’t think he’d find me funny.
“Have you talked to Caide or Garrett since you found out?”
“No, I’m going to text Garrett. Something’s gnawing at me River; I hope you don’t take this the wrong way.”
Ah oh. “Shoot.”
“At the club, you say you saw Caide there. Was he alone?”
“He said he was waiting on someone, his friend Stewart I think.” Where is this going?
“What is your last memory that night?”
I close my eyes trying to remember. “I was talking to Caide in the hallway, I told him about my one drink limit. Lance was the one who was strange acting after we’d been there for about five minutes. He went to the bathroom and came back acting like a prick.”
“Remember, I’m a cop before I’m anything else….do you think Caide could have drugged you?”
Would he drug me? “No…that thought hasn’t crossed my mind. Caide is trying to get his daughter back, what would be the point of drugging me? Anyway, Lance admitted he drugged me, he gave the box of pills to Caide.”
“Did you see him give the box of pills to Caide?”
“No….he wouldn’t have done it, Jed. He’s a regular twenty-three year old male, who happens to be successful. I’ve been around him day and night; he’s dedicated to his career and getting Lucy back. Besides, he was at the club when we walked in…I think.” Right? No, he wouldn’t jeopardize his chances of getting his daughter.
The next time I talk to him, I’ll ask, but it could piss him off.
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Caide’s number comes across my caller ID. I need to talk to him. I want to talk to him. Four rings… I can’t NOT answer any longer.
“River, are you okay?” Caide’s voice, a voice I’ve been dreaming about asks.
His voice sends chills through my veins. He cares, he still cares if I’m okay. I’ve shunned him over something my eyes tricked me into believing. All of the stories about him being a player… hell, by his own admission in our meetings when he said he handled stress with sex. I didn’t give him the chance to prove to me he didn’t pursue to that girl.
Eeeep! He wants to see me at 6:00! I shouldn’t be this happy, but I’m glad to be through with the last seven days. Sleep deprivation and a broken heart have overwhelmed me since I left that night.
In two hours I’ll see him again. Jed insists on following me, even though they have someone in custody. If I have to hear about his cop instinct one more time, I’m going to scream. I’ve come to love Jed, but he can be a pain in the ass just the same.
Is it a date? I should shave my legs just in case.
Just in case, what?
Just in case, you’re losing your mind, and just in case you rub your legs against his for whatever reason that might be.
Maybe, he’ll run his hand along my leg.
If he’s trying to get into your panties.
Why does he have to try? I’ll rip ‘em off and toss them in his soufflé.
You’re going to toss them in a soufflé?
Now, I’m crazy… I’m having a full-on conversation with myself in my head, so Jed doesn’t suspect I’ve gone off the deep end.
Girl, you can’t go off the deep end. You jumped about four weeks ago.
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I park next to Caide’s Mustang and double check my hair. I give it a second fluff with my hands and nervously get out of my car.
Jed parks on the opposite end of the nearly empty parking lot…next to Garrett. I bet they’re making a gentleman’s bet about my panties ending up in my pocketbook. They can guess all night long.
I smooth my sundress down as I walk up to the doors. Caide opens the door to let me in and I drink in
the site of him. He has on a sky blue button down shirt that reflects the color of his eyes. Parts of me tingle without physical contact. Oh no, this could get messy. Aren’t you wanting messy? I ask myself.
“Hey you,” he whispers.
“Hey you, too,” I whisper back. Without thinking about it, I stand on my tippy toes and kiss him on the lips. He wraps his arm around me and we start walking backwards with our lips melded together. Jed and Garrett can let their imaginations run free, I intend too.
We walk all the way to his office and never stop kissing. My heart is beating uncontrollably with anticipation, hopeful sex is what’s coming next.
He opens a door to what I assume is his office, because if it isn’t his office, someone else has great taste.
“God, I’ve missed you, River,” his mouth kisses a line to my ear and whispers, “I want you.”
Oh what a mess we’re about to make of whomever’s office we’re in. “I can tell,” I say in response to the bulge he has pressed against me in his khakis.
He doesn’t say anything, just bends down enough to grab my dress by the hem and lifts it over my head.
I went for a white lacey bra and thong when getting ready tonight. He steps back to admire my ensemble. “Good God almighty, you look like a fucking angel….I might go to hell for saying that, but damn.” He narrows his eyes as he takes another look.
I put my hand at the button of his pants and fiddle with it just long enough for him to help me unbutton them. Slowly, I take his shirt and start the task of unbuttoning it, but I never take my eyes away from his. I finally manage to get the last one undone; I slide my hands against his bare chest and along his perfect abs. My ear is close enough to hear him grumble under his breath. I bend over and slide his pants with his underwear to the ground.
It’s unclear to me how I didn’t notice the giant glass desk that’s lit up with blue lights before now. I’m in Caide’s office for sure. He told me about his high-tech desk one night as we ate dinner.
He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around him, he takes one hand and sweeps it across his desk, sending everything clattering to the floor and sets me on the edge. The glass is cold against my ass, but his hands are hot, the contrast sends my nerve endings on a frenzy. He grabs my thong and pulls it off slowly, taking his time as he glides his hands over my legs. He’s unwrapping me with his hands and mind.
