Shannon's Daughter
Page 34
He’d guessed, but hearing her say the words was nonetheless shocking. The first thing to come to mind was to irrationally argue against what must be the truth. “But you even look like a Shannon. You and Agnes could pass for sisters.”
She smiled, a bitter little twitch of her lips. “Oh, I’m still a Shannon. My father was a man named Joseph Shannon, a cousin from Dublin who came to New York to work for the bank. Mrs. Leary said he was a nice enough young man, but he was restless, ambitious. He left the bank and went to Chicago, some get-rich-quick scheme, she said. He was killed in a bus crash coming back to New York. In her hour of need, my mother turned to his wealthy cousin for help, and the rest is history.”
He tightened the arm around her shoulders, noting that her hands were trembling and she’d lost what little color there’d been in her face. “It must have been a terrible shock.”
She nodded sadly. “It was all so strange. You see, at first, I asked Mrs. Leary if she knew he wasn’t my father, without mentioning the diary. She got so angry, asking me who told me. Adamson got in on the conversation and before I knew what was happening, they were telling me that I couldn’t believe what some man named O’Hara said. That he was a liar and a blackmailer. I was so overwhelmed with what they were saying, it took me a while to explain that I’d found her diary. But by then I knew there was more to the story.”
A chill shot down his spine. “Brendan O’Hara.”
Her eyes widened in horrified accusation. “You knew?”
He shook his head violently. “No! Not about your father. Remember when I was in New York, a man came up to you in the theater that night?” She nodded slowly, her eyes narrowing. “I told Adamson because I knew he’d upset you. He and Mrs. Leary both implied he was someone who might know something about your mother’s past, but they never told me what. Adamson seemed to be accustomed to people trying to blackmail your father, which I admit I found disturbing, but for all I knew, it was simply because he was wealthy. My only concern at the time was looking out for you.”
“It turns out he’s been extorting money for years. He and Joseph Shannon were friends, or business partners, or something. This O’Hara had pictures and letters he’d gotten when Joseph died. I guess every time he got low on cash, he’d pull out something new and threaten to show it to me unless my father paid him for it.” She dropped her head in her hands. “I can’t believe he was foolish enough to pay this man rather than just tell me the truth. I can’t understand how he could live a lie, let me live a lie, all this time.”
“He was trying to protect you. And the memory of your mother.”
“But in the end, I found out straight from her, didn’t I?”
“I take it Michael knows everything now?”
“Adamson told him. I think he was afraid I’d be too emotional if I tried. He was worried that it would make him sick, but he really took it pretty well. He tried to explain it all to me. He even apologized for not telling me sooner himself. He says he loved my mother and had she lived, they would have raised me just the same way he’s tried to do. Mrs. Leary even says my mother fell in love with him before she died. But none of that changes the fact that I’m not his daughter, that he let me believe I was something I’m not.”
“So you ran away.”
“I couldn’t stay in that house any longer. I just need time to adjust to the idea that all the things I’ve been so proud of, the things about me that I thought I inherited from him, the things I planned to do because that’s what his daughter would be expected to do, aren’t real. When I read that diary it seemed more like a novel. But it’s all true. If Joseph Shannon had lived, I would have grown up the daughter of a chorus girl and a con-man.”
“That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it? You don’t know that he was a criminal.”
“I know his friends are criminals. And that scheme he went to Chicago to cash in on was hardly a solid business venture, I’m sure. As it was, he lost what little money he had and was coming back to his pregnant girlfriend without any means to support her. Don’t you see I’ve been so secure, so confident that I was entitled to all the fine things in life, and if not for a twist of fate and the kindness of one lonely, wealthy man, my life would have been completely different? So who does that make me really? Am I the privileged daughter of a millionaire, or just a lucky kid who’s been trained to act like one?”
“What do you plan to do now?”
“That’s what they’re all wondering at home, I’m sure. I don’t know. I couldn’t think back there. I couldn’t even eat or sleep. I got to the point I was jumping at my own shadow. I was afraid I might be having a nervous breakdown, to be honest. I just need time, Kendall. And this was the only place I could think of to come where no one would pressure me.”
“Of course not. But what about your family here? You can’t hide from them indefinitely.”
“I was hoping you’d help me with that. At least for the moment, no one knows where I am. Oh, I expect Michael has someone looking and it won’t be too hard to figure it out. But if I can just stay here with you, it will give me time to think. I don’t expect you to lie, if someone asks, but maybe you could run interference for me for a little while?”
“Run interference?” He couldn’t help smiling. She’d obviously already done quite a bit of thinking.
“I fully expect he’ll call you. In fact your telephone rang several times one night and I felt sure it was him. If he calls, you could tell him I’m here and that I’m all right.”
“I could do that. You’re an adult, Peg. You have a right to do what you want. I doubt you need to be so worried. He isn’t going to send someone to force you to go back.”
“Oh, I know. But if I talk to him, he’ll make me feel ungrateful. I know I’ve hurt him with some of the questions I’ve asked. When I go back, assuming I go back, I need to be sure of my place there. Right now, I’m not sure of anything.”
Her voice had dropped to a hoarse whisper and she was trembling visibly. Drawing her across his lap, he felt her begin to sob softly. “Shh. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, love, but you’re safe here to take all the time you need.”
Nodding, she sniffed against his chest. “You’ve always made me feel safe, cared for. When I first found out, I wanted to come here, but that seemed so cowardly. After a while, it seemed the only possible way to get past this. I need you, Kendall.” The sobs came again, gasps of silent grief quaking through her body. His heart twisted as he acknowledged how fragile she was, physically and emotionally, and at the same time a shiver of fear skittered through his chest. Peg had always been strong, at least on the surface, but he’d known deep down she was vulnerable and far less certain of herself than she appeared. Her mention of a breakdown touched on a very sensitive point. Even the strongest minded were not immune, given enough strain.
“There now, I know tears are supposed to be cleansing, but you’re soaking my shirt. Let me fix us some tea and maybe we could take a little walk later? Fresh air and sunshine couldn’t hurt after being cooped up in here for days.” He lifted her face, cupping her chin in his palm. “What do you say?”
“Okay.” She wiped her face and sniffed loudly. “But please say I can stay here with you. I won’t be any trouble, I promise.”
He chuckled softly. “Of course you will. You’ll completely disrupt my boring life and distract me from anything useful. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Although I do think we should find a place to stow your things so I can stop barking my shins on your luggage.”
She let out something between a snort and a giggle. “Sorry. It was all I could do to drag it up the stairs. I’ve never appreciated how hard bellhops have to work.”
While he set the tea brewing, she washed her face, coming back to the kitchen looking drained but notably more relaxed. “You know this visit is actually timed quite conveniently, brat. I have off two entire weeks, give or take a rehearsal now and then. We might go up to Hertford for a few days, putter in the garden, en
joy a bit of country air.”
“How’s the house doing? Do you spend much time there?”
“As much as I can. I find I quite enjoy it. Oh, I rattled around a bit at first, but now it feels like home. Mrs. Beatty found a quite capable fellow to tend to the outside, and with just me there on the occasional weekend, she manages to keep up things in the house. She’ll be thrilled you’ve come back. She always asks how you’re getting on.”
“That’s sweet. Tell me what else you’ve been up to. You’re not a very good correspondent, you know. According to your letters you never go anywhere or do anything.”
“Ah, well that about sums it up really. Nothing to tell.” He hesitated, debating whether this was the best time to introduce the subject. “Actually, there is one new thing on my plate. I’ve become more involved in Jenny’s care. Without Grandfather to act as go-between, I thought it only right to contact her father.”
“How is she?”
“The same. We decided to move her to a smaller place, more of a private home with only a half-dozen patients, closer to London. She’s seems to be calmer. There’s a piano there, and come to find out, she still plays.”
“Really? That’s amazing.”
“It was quite a surprise. Apparently, she just sat down one day and started playing Beethoven. The matron called Ralph, that’s Jenny’s father, to let him hear it over the telephone. Of course, he was convinced at first it meant she was getting well, but nothing else has changed. She still doesn’t speak, or seem to know us.”
“You go to see her?”
“Couple of times a month. I can sit down with her now and she doesn’t seem to mind. It’s odd, but not as uncomfortable as I thought it might be.”
Peg seemed to focus on his hands as he spread butter on slices of bread. “I think that’s wonderful,” she said softly. “That she can play when she wants to, I mean. It has to be a comfort to her, deep down. And it’s wonderful too that you’re able to stay involved with her. It always seemed sad to me that she was out of your life completely. You did love her at one time, after all.”
He put down the knife carefully. “Yes, well, don’t read too much into it. She’s hardly the woman I fell in love with, and her father still has the final say regarding her care. Although he does seem to appreciate my involvement, such as it is. But I have to be very careful not to let my mother know what I’m up to. More lies, I’m afraid. Now, would you prefer strawberry jam or marmalade on your toast?”
Peg blinked at him, tilting her head. “Life is so much more complicated than we ever expected, isn’t it? And it seems to come down to the way people care about one another. Men and women fall in love. Parents try to protect their children. Children want to measure up to their parents’ expectations. It seems to do all that, people are forced to lie at least a little, or risk losing the ones they care the most about.”
“Deep thoughts, sweetheart. Here, have some tea and everything will look brighter.”
“I wish it were that simple.”
“It is, for right now. It seems to me the first order of business is for you to rest and relax a bit. I can’t offer you much, but I can try to take your mind off your problems. And feed you. You’re practically wasting away. How long has it been since you ate a good meal?”
“I told you, I couldn’t eat or sleep. I avoided meals with my . . with Michael, because I couldn’t seem to swallow with him watching me. I didn’t think I could hide all that’s been happening from Connie or any of my other friends and I wasn’t comfortable going out alone, so I just stayed in my room most of the time. The walls started closing in and I couldn’t sleep for trying to breathe.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“June thirtieth. That’s the day I asked Mrs. Leary if she knew.”
“Good heavens. No wonder you’re so worn down.” He pushed away from the table. “Come here.” Pulling her from her chair, he wrapped her gently in his arms. “I know this has been very hard, and I don’t mean to trivialize any of it. But you owe it to yourself to put it out of your mind for the time being. Since you’ve come to me, you have to allow me to take care of you. And that means you’re going to let me order you about and stuff you with good food and drag you out in the sunshine every day. And make riotous love to you every night, if you’re a good girl and do as I say. Agreed?”
Her face twisted in something between a grin and a grimace. “I suppose. How will you explain my being here?”
“Ah, that may take some creativity, but we’ll come up with something. I know! My poor little American cousin has run away from her cheating ex-fiancée. He’s determined to drag her back and force her to forgive him and as her elder relative, it’s my duty to provide her a place to hide out. I’ll make a show of sleeping on the couch, stiff neck, the works. The sisters Hastings will love me all the more for my noble sacrifice and Mr. Kemper will sympathize with my sciatica. As for anyone else, we’ll just take it as it comes. Mother never calls around here, so we needn’t worry about her dropping by unannounced. I’ll tell the lads in the quartet it’s none of their business and they’ll assume the worst, but who cares?”
She melted against him, her fingertips digging into his back. “Why have you always been so good to me?”
“Must be love. It certainly couldn’t be because you’re brighter, and more beautiful, and stronger than any woman I’ve ever run across.”
“Am I? Or was that Michael Shannon’s daughter who was all those things?”
Firmly cupping her chin, he forced her to meet his gaze. “Stop that, Peg. I don’t care who your parents were, it doesn’t change the woman you’ve grown up to be. You can doubt or despise them all you like, but don’t let them shake your belief in yourself.”
She looked away and he felt keenly that she was shutting him out. “You’re right. I need to rest and let you take care of me.” Stepping out of his arms, she took her seat again, toying with her food. “I think I’d like to take that walk. I love your flat, but a little change of scene would be nice.”
“Of course. And on the way home we’ll shop for food. I need to stay in town for a few days, but Friday afternoon we could head out to Hertford, if you’d like.”
She nodded. “I would.” Another hesitation, a long ragged sigh, and she went on, ‘There’s something I should tell you.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t have much money with me. And I didn’t want to ask the bank to wire me any here. At least not until they find me. Will that be a problem?”
He laid a hand on her hair, touched by the vulnerability revealed in her confession. “Not at all. Remember, I’m better off now than the average struggling musician. Unless you decide to go on a shopping spree, we’ll manage just fine.”
She smiled weakly. “No shopping sprees. But I do need to pick up a few things I forgot to bring.”
“Such as?”
“Somehow, I managed to pack everything but something to sleep in.”
He chuckled. “Is that all?”
She actually blushed. “No. I forgot a couple of other essentials, like underwear.”
The chuckle became a bark of laughter. “So you’re telling me we need to plan a shopping trip to pick up nighties and knickers?” He inwardly cringed until her face cracked into a smile at his pathetic attempt to lighten the mood.
“I guess that about sums it up. Do you mind?”
“Oh, no. We can stop in at Selfridges on our walk. Maybe you can find something in their bargain bins.”
Peg stood and put her arms around his neck, still chuckling. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Everything. Sometimes I wish, if things were different. . .”
“Yes?”
“I wish we could be two ordinary people with a future in that ivy covered cottage.”
He pulled her closer. “I know, love. But at least we can enjoy what we have. Now let’s take that walk.”
Chapter Forty-two
Fo
r the next several days Kendall watched Peg closely. While she ate when he suggested, walked when invited, and at least appeared to sleep at night, he was wary of her outward calm. Those moments when she seemed to forget he was there, when he caught the fear and confusion in her far-off gaze, kept him on guard. Deeming it best to pretend he was unaware of her suffering, he went about their routine never once broaching the subject, waiting for her to bring it up if and when she felt ready.
When Michael’s call had come two days after Kendall’s return to London, Peg had serendipitously been soaking in the bathtub. He’d gone so far as to take the telephone onto the landing for the conversation.
Before Michael could ask, Kendall said simply, “She’s here, sir.”
“She told you? All of it?”
“Yes, sir. She needed to confide in someone.”
Michael took an audible breath and released a sigh of obvious relief. “I hoped she’d run to you. I haven’t called the others, Addie or Patrick, because I doubted she’d turn to them the way she’s feeling just now.” There was a pause on the line, before he went on in a softer tone. “Is she well, Kendall? I know she’s in a state, has been for weeks. My greatest concern at the moment is that she doesn’t make herself sick, too.”
“She’s a bit rundown. I’m trying to get her to eat and rest.” He weighed his words carefully. “She says she feels safe with me. I think it would be best if no one else knows she’s here, at least for now. I’m going to take her to the house in Hertford this weekend and we’ll stay there for a while. Will you trust me to take care of her?”
The answer was immediate. “Of course I will. You’re the best thing for her, I’ve no doubt.”
“Thank you, sir. I’m sure in time she’ll be in touch. Just be patient, if you can.” He heard the door to the bathroom open. “I should go now. Try not to worry.”