by TC Matson
“Levi has a fight coming up.”
She clears her throat and offers one hell of a fake smile. “This is the perk of your job, right? Getting to travel and see the world?” She pats me on the chest, pretending to be cheery and happy-go-lucky.
Fake. She’s hiding her hurt. I’m not sure if I like knowing she cares this much.
“Kelsie—”
“I think it’s time for you to leave. It’s late and I need to get a few things done early in the morning.”
Her eyes are wide, blinking back dampness that she’s ever so desperate to hide.
“Call me tomorrow?” I ask taking a reluctant step backward onto her porch and out of her house.
She nods, and offers another fraudulent smile. “Good night, Adam,” she says, before shutting the door.
I’m staring at the black stained door, baffled as shit. What the hell just happened? Her living room turned into a tornado of emotions—defeat, hurt, care, pain.
I glance back at the door one last time and stroll to my truck.
Chapter 13
After two nearly silent days from Kelsie, I became ornery and decided to bounce out early. Both Saturday and Sunday were short, clipped texts, not as playful as usual even when I tried pushing for more. This time it was her with little words. I was nice enough to shoot her a text to tell her I was leaving early. A measly “Ok, have fun and be careful,” was all I got back. Strangely enough it pissed me the fuck off. I don’t know what else I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.
The ride was refreshing. Hours of nothing but music and wind as I zipped through the curvy mountain roads. I strained the rubber to stay glued to the pavement while leisurely resting a hand on the wheel. It’s the greatest part of these traveled roads. Four lanes of dips and swerves—I used every bit of the road.
I pull open the doors to the gym and immediately the thick, sticky, stagnant air slams my senses. Sweat and cleaners, blood and hot breath—it always takes a few minutes to get used to it.
Levi is honed on the heavy bag, leveling out some punches. His warm-up routine has just begun, so he’s not pouring sweat yet.
“You swing like a girl!” I yell out.
He ceases in mid-punch and swings around toward me. He grins, cocking his head to the side. “Come here and let me try a few on your face.”
It’s been awhile since I’ve seen him, but nothing about him looks different. I laugh and give him a bro-hug. How’ve you been?”
“Good, man. You’re here early. Must miss the hell out of me.”
“Don’t blow that ego up too far,” I quip.
He laughs.
“So what’s the scoop for the day?”
“Just gonna run through my workout and then who knows.”
Just like standard procedure, I get behind the bag, holding it and bracing for the punches I know are about to rock me. He begins to send blow after blow, kicks and elbows. With all the years I’ve done this, you’d think I’d remember how much this works me out as well.
My arms are stinging, burning from the relentlessness Levi has exploded into the bag when he finally stops.
“Let’s get out of here. I’d rather catch up with you,” he breaths out heavily.
Paige’s place looks the same bearing nothing of Levi’s except for his championship belt sitting in the middle of her bookshelf in the living room. Other than that, you’d never know he was staying here. It’s feminine décor, so I’m surprised Levi hasn’t put some manly spin on it.
Paige’s living situation is far from normal, if you ask me. Her house includes a fully furnished basement, which Blain, her childhood friend, occupies but comes upstairs whenever he pleases, bursting in like he owns the place.
Levi’s in the shower and I’m on the couch watching a garage show when Paige comes bounding through the front door with her hands full. She pauses for a beat, quietly startled by me and then smiles wide.
“Well, hey stranger.” She pushes the door shut with her hip.
“Need help?” I ask.
“Please. Grab the Chinese food.” She holds up two white bags.
I laugh at the irony, pushing off the couch.
“What? You like Chinese, right? You should. Levi’s the one who told me to get it.”
I nod taking the bags. “Yeah, I do. How’ve you been, Paperweight?”
She earned her nickname by losing her temper and beating the shit of her ex-boyfriend. Levi had to snap her out of it. I hated I wasn’t there to see such a little frame beat down a man. He deserved it. Anyway, I’m the only one who continues to call her that. It’s either Paige, Sunshine, or Paigey and two out of three of them I’m not fucking touching. I’ll stick with Paperweight.
“Good. Busy. You know how Levi is.”
We set everything on the counter and she stretches to hug me. “It’s good to see you.”
“You act like I’ve been gone for years,” I chuckle.
“I’m just used to seeing more of you.”
“You flirting with my girl?” Levi calls out jokingly while striding down the hall.
I wrap my arm around Paige’s shoulder and tuck her into my side. “You bet.”
He knows better. I’d never disrespect my boy like that. We have a deep friendship. Been through some major obstacles in our lives.
Paige leaves my side to enter Levi’s arms. I turn giving them some privacy and grab plates and silverware while they play daily catch up. This isn’t something I miss seeing or hearing. They’re always on each other.
I open the boxes and set them up like a buffet on the counter. Of course the universe aligns itself to make sure I have the perfect reminder of Kelsie.
“Blain coming?” I ask trying to deter my thoughts.
“No. He’s been spending all his time at Lacy’s,” Levi states, grabbing a box and dumping Lo Mein noodles onto his plate.
Ah, Lacy. Smoking fucking hot. Long blonde hair, long tone legs, a riveting ass, dark hazel eyes, and a handful set of tits. If it wasn’t for Blain having the biggest crush on her, I would have had my merry way with her. He’s wanted her for years and I didn’t want to be the bad guy for Levi since he was chasing Paige.
“They finally got together, huh?” I ask.
“Finally!” Paige beams making her plate.
“Glad to see things working out for him,” I admit.
“They’re pretty smitten. He’s barely ever here anymore,” Paige says. “I guess he’s proving to her he’s worth it.”
“He doesn’t have to prove anything anymore. She got one taste of his offerings and that was it.” Levi laughs loudly. “First week was all she fought. After that,” he nods to me. “I’m telling ya, she’s locked in.”
Paige slaps his chest and strolls to the table mumbling how much of a perv he is and how she doesn’t want to think of her brother that way. I glance to Levi and he arches his brow and rolls his eyes.
We take our seats at the table and settle into quiet as we eat…well, except for Levi. He won’t quit yapping about his pro-fight coming up with Justin. He’s stoked. This will be epic.
After dinner, we sat around and shot the shit for an hour and then I headed back to the hotel.
I’ve just gotten out of the shower when I decide to text Kelsie and press to see where she stands with me.
Me: Miss me yet?
Kelsie: A little.
Short answer…
Me: I made it safely in case you were wondering.
Kelsie: I’m glad.
And another one…
Me: I’ll be home Sunday. Care to have dinner Monday?
Kelsie: We’ll have to see what the day holds.
Snippy as hell…
Me: Have a good night.
I’m not going to beg her to talk to me. Whatever she’s going through…she needs to work it out herself.
Yesterday, Harvey and Perry came in and immediately put Levi to fucking work, but they kept it short and sent us home early. I wasn’t in the mood for a whole lot and e
nded up spending my day dozing in and out on the hotel’s brick they consider a couch.
Today, the coaches had a whole different game plan—operation bring Levi to his knees.
They had him on the verge of pure exhaustion, pushing him hard. They pushed cardio, switching him back and forth from the heavy bag to the ring with his sparring partner without breaks. They didn’t focus on maneuvers, only the length of steam he had.
I watched him wholeheartedly all day. Sweat dripped from his brow, his breath jagged, shoving out with every strike. By the end of the day, his eyes were weary but he was still preserving. I swear if I were him, I would’ve run out of gas hours ago. I have no clue how he does it. He’s a fucking beast.
I came back to his house after running to the empty ass hotel room to take a shower. I’m reaching in the fridge for a beer when Paige calls out from the deck.
“Grab the ketchup!”
She decided to cook burgers and the thing about Paige’s burgers—fucking awesome. The girl knows how to cook thanks to her pops. That man can make anything taste sensational.
I toss my phone on the round glass table outside and sit down with my plate of food. Paige wanted to eat on the back porch and honestly, the weather is perfect for it.
My phone rings and Levi catches a glimpse just as I stand to walk away.
“Hey,” I answer. “What’s up?
Except there isn’t a voice on the other side. Sounds of shuffling papers and the tapping of a keyboard fills the line and I laugh.
“Kelsie…” I sing loudly into the receiver.
There’s more shuffling and then. “Hello?”
“Hi,” I say. “Butt dial me?” I chuckle.
“Oh my god. I thought I sent a text,” she laughs. “I’m sorry.”
“What did the text say? You miss me and can’t wait to get your hands on me?”
“Not quite,” she clips. “It was an apology text.”
“For what?”
“I haven’t been able to text you all day. I’ve been swamped. Matter of fact I’m still at work.”
“Long day?”
“Strangely for a Thursday.”
“Can I call you later? Paige made burgers and we just sat down to eat,” I tell her.
“Yeah. That’s fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“You’re not bothering me. I’ll talk to you later,” I say and then hang up with a heavy sigh.
Levi is boring holes in me as I sit back down and take a large bite of my cheeseburger.
“The phantom lady is named Kelsie, huh? What’s with her?” he asks
I shrug and take another bite. We, well, I don’t do well with these types of conversations.
“She the one from a week or so ago?”
I nod.
“You mean she isn’t a one nighter?” Paige asks, her green eyes wide with surprise.
I take a swig of my beer.
“Oh my god, would you just spill it already?” Her tone is mixed with a playful frustration.
“I like her,” I tell them.
Levi studies me.
Paige’s eyes are on me.
My skin is itching and it’s irritating the fuck out of me. “What?” I open my hands.
“I’ve seen this look before,” Levi says nonchalantly.
My heart slams against my ribs and I narrow my eyes. “No. It’s not like that.”
He holds his hands up. “Dude. I’m serious. It’s been awhile since you’ve looked like this.”
I flick my eyes to Paige, back to him, and shake my head.
“What’s with you guys?” Paige says. “Blain denied everything he felt about Lacy, even when it was splashed on his face. Is it in your genes to be all macho-headed? It’s not a bad thing to talk about emotions, ya know?”
Levi glances to Paige then back to me. My jaw ticks.
“You can’t get her off your mind?” Levi speaks.
“Why am I being interrogated. My personal life isn’t any of your damn business. Chill out.” I gruff.
My back tenses with prickly sensations. Levi’s eyes are strangling me, squeezing my throat and trying to force words to come out.
I fall silent.
His eyes continue, hardening into knowing, steely little fucking slits.
“It’ll phase out. Leave it at rest,” I bark.
Again, his glare is relentless. “Answer me this then. Have you been with anyone else since meeting this Kelsie.”
I swallow hard and yank to my feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow, man.”
“Adam, don’t leave!” Paige calls out, but Levi hushes her and tells her to let me go.
You’re wondering why I just made a big deal, aren’t you? Your beady eyes are judging me from afar. Well, truth is, I do like her. Too much and I don’t want to. I’m not ready to settle the fuck down. I’m not ready to feel all the lovey-dovey shit she’s awakening in me. I’m not ready to re-feel what La—
Never mind.
Chapter 14
I arrive at the gym to Levi sitting on the bench and the place completely empty.
I pause. “What’s going on?”
He stands and grabs my shoulders with a smug smirk. “Told everyone to come in about an hour later except you. We’re switching roles before they get here.”
“Why?”
“You’re pent up with frustrations and they need to be released. It’ll be good for you,” he says over his shoulder, heading to his normal warm-up spot and hands me the jump ropes.
After about dying from them and the treadmill, he takes position behind the heavy bag. This time he’s holding it just as I do for him. I slam my knuckles into the bag, violently smashing every fucking drop, every fucking ounce of tension into it.
“Kick it!” Levi yells.
I shake my head, tucking my chin back down. I’m a better boxer. Always have been. My kicks are never precise. I ignore his order and slam another punch into the bag. This time the bag swings toward me knocking me off guard. I wasn’t expecting that.
“I said kick it,” he growls. “Just fucking kick this mother fucker. Don’t be a bitch.”
His words piss me off and immediately after, my shin makes contact with the leather. And it’s like I hit a fucking button. I opened a dam. A rush exits from my shoulders, spreading to my toes. Vexation bursts out of my veins and I kick the bastard bag again, then again, and again.
Raw, vulgar emotions pour from the sweat of my body. Anger. Constraint. Resentment. Years and fucking years of dark unhappiness wraps itself around every punch into the bag, over and mother fucking, over.
I drop to my knees heaving for air. No amount I’m sucking in feels sufficient enough.
I hear a satisfied chuckle from Levi. “Deep breathes to keep from puking.” He grabs my arms standing me on wobbly knees. “Square up to give yourself better oxygen.”
I drop my forehead on the blue padded wall, resting my hands above me.
“I knew you needed that. Feels fucking great, doesn’t it? To get rid of all those fucked up emotions.”
I pull the gloves off, twist my back to the wall and slide down it.
He squats in front of me. “Talk.”
I glance up. “We’re not talkers.”
“When something is eating away at you, you start talking.” He sits beside me and stretches his legs out in front of him. Silence attacks us from all angles. My mind is a hectic haze, debilitated from the mental fuck I just received.
Finally, I blink and sigh giving in. “It’s all too familiar. I try running but it chases me. Try leaving and it’s there.” My view stays directly in front of me.
“Then don’t leave.”
“I’m not ready to stay,” I say.
“Doesn’t sound like it.”
“Fucking doesn’t feel like it.”
“Then why are you fighting it?” he asks standing up and heading back to the heavy bag.
I cut my eyes to him.
“You have to accept what happened
. She wouldn’t want you miserable. What’s there to lose?” he says over his shoulder.
“You didn’t have to deal with the hurt.”
He stops mid-stride and pivots toward me. “You wanna bet?” he says nonchalantly.
His words are like razor blades in my ears. Instant anger engulfs me and I stand, glaring at him. “Yeah, I’ll fucking bet.” I shove his chest.
His jaw clenches. “Dude, I know it’s a touchy subject but don’t.”
“Don’t what? Push your fucking buttons as you’re doing mine?” I shove him again. “Fuck you.”
He lunges, wrapping me up and slamming my back to the mat. I try grabbing him, but he slides out and presses his body into me.
“I fucking watched you fall apart. I stood beside you trying to keep you together. As you fucking died inside so did I,” he spits with dark, dastardly eyes.
“You have no fucking clue,” I roar.
“I watched right before my eyes, my brother’s soul empty. I watched you lose it. I was there for all of it. Apparently, you’ve forgotten, I never left your side.”
I buck under him and pull out of his grip trying to push him off of me. He presses his weight into me again.
“You were desolate. I stood and watched you blame yourself when you had nothing to do with what happened. I do have a fucking clue what you went through. She was like my fucking sister!” He screams at me. “But you…I felt helpless trying to figure a way to keep you sane. For fuck’s sake, Adam, as your whole world faded to black, I was in the motherfucking darkness with you.”
I slip my arm out from his. “Fuck you!” I grit, sending a punch into his jaw.
He retorts with the same, punching me in the jaw and then jabs me in the ribs. It takes my breath. I buck under him, wrestling to get a better grip. Finally, I find the opening and slip through it, grabbing ahold of his neck. I land another solid punch to his face just before he flips me and slams my shoulders into the mat, nailing me in the jaw again.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Harvey yells, pulling Levi off me.
I’m on my feet lunging at him, spewing inaudible curse words at him, when my arm gets wrapped up from behind.
