by TC Matson
I don’t delete it.
I take a deep breath and pull into the race site looking for Danny. He’s in his usual spot by the burnout box. I park on the side of the pavement and head to him.
“Didn’t think I’d hear from you tonight. Thought you were off doing your work thing.” He steps to me shaking my hand.
“Not tonight. Who am I against?”
He smiles like a prick. “Greg.”
“The sixty-eight Camaro?” There’s so many new sharks in the game, sometimes it’s hard to keep up.
“That’s him.” He slaps my back. “He knows you’re in and he’s put a grand down.”
I pull out my wallet and hand him the money. “How much longer?”
He looks to the cars lined up behind him. “Three. Then you’re up.”
I’m making my way back to my car when Roxy approaches me from the side and wraps her arms around my waist.
“There you are,” she purrs. “I’ve missed you.”
I release her hands from me and take a step away. “Don’t start with me,” I gruff.
“Where’ve you been? I’ve been needing some of you.”
This makes my jaw tense. “I’m with someone.”
Hurt dawns on her expression. “Is it serious?”
“Yeah.”
Her eyes widen for a fraction of a second. “Okay.” The word drags out slowly. “I’ll, um…” She smiles warmly. “I’m happy to hear that. I really hope it works out for you.”
“Thanks,” I tell her and watch her walk away.
It’s as if the universe has aligned war and enemies in my path tonight. First, the argument with Kelsie, then Roxy, and now…
Nick’s leaning against my car as I stroll toward him. The moment he spots me, he pushes off my car and gives me a fake ass grin.
“I’m not here to fight.” He throws his hands up.
“I’m not here to be your friend either,” I clip.
“Good. Then we’re on mutual grounds. Does Kelsie know you’re here?”
“What the fuck is it any of your business?”
He smirks. “What about Roxy?” He nods in the direction her and I were just standing. “She know about her.”
“You’re a brave little shithead.”
“I called a truce with Kel. Even paid for the divorce.”
“I know,” I say straightforwardly. “It’s about time you actually did something nice for her.”
If words could stab, I just shanked him.
“Don’t do her wrong,” he says, puffing out his chest. “She’s pretty hell bent on you and I’d hate—”
“Please tell me you’re not about to threaten me yet again especially on a subject that bears no interest to you.” I bark.
“It is important.”
“Ah.” I bounce my finger at him. “A little too late don’t you think?”
He glares at me. “I still care for her.”
“Yet I’m the one holding her heart. Nasty turn of events for you.” Now it’s my turn to smirk. “I’m pretty hell bent on her as well, so don’t you worry your little heart on it. She’s in better hands than yours.”
“Fuck you.”
“Truth hurts,” I spout off. “Now, excuse me while I race then go home to my girl.”
Me: I’ll be back in an hour.
Kelsie: Thank you.
Greg has always been a cool dude. Not overly cocky about his ride or his racing. He’s more laid back than the rest of these shitheads. He’s short and stocky, always wearing a DC hat backward and in flip-flops. He can’t be more than twenty-one and if he’s older than that, it will surprise the hell out of me.
After warming my tires and bellowing smoke in the burnout box, I pull up to the line. Dustin lines us up. Staring at the light, I take a deep breath and quiet my brain chatter. Right now…it’s just me, my car, the light, the pavement. Nothing else.
The light falls from the red. First yellow. Second yellow. Third yellow. Only a fraction of a second separating the descent.
I slam the gas and Nora roars to life, her rubber gripping the pavement, slamming me into my seat and lurching us down the straightaway.
I’m fighting to keep her straight, struggling to keep her in between the lines while she screams toward the finish line.
A jolt from behind.
The finish line in front of me disappears to my right and I’m staring directly at the cement lane protectors. Before I can react, like there’s time to fucking react…I slam against it, watching the pavement come and go as I’m rolling. Something catches and tosses my car, sending us end over end. The night sky giving way to the ground, over and ov…
Chapter 27
Darkness. Emptiness. There’s no sound here. A black void. Weightlessness.
Nothingness….
Chapter 28
“What the hell was I thinking?” I snub into my empty living room wiping my tears off my cheek.
I know he loves me. All the things he does for me…. Hearing the words wouldn’t validate anything. They’re just words. His actions definitely speak much louder. Whatever happened when he was nineteen was hard enough that it stole the words from him.
That makes the tears begin swelling up again.
When he gets here, he’ll know that if he never says it, I’m okay with it. I feel it.
My phone rings and my heart leaps to my throat.
My excitement is quickly melted by Nick’s name.
“Hello?” I sigh.
“Kel…”
His tone is laced with so much grief, immediately, a freezing chill runs down my spine and I sit straight up.
“Adam’s been in a bad wreck. They just took him out of here in an ambulance.”
My throat tightens. My heart sinks. My lungs can’t pull in any air.
I lunge to my feet. “Where?” I shout. “What hospital?
I can’t breathe rushing to my room to grab my purse.
“Triad hospital. Kel, don’t go by yourself.”
I frantically dig for my keys. “Where the fuck are my keys?” My heart is loud in my ears, pulsing through my body and into my fingertips.
“Kelsie!” Nick yells and I stop. “Don’t go alone. I’m serious. It was a bad accident.”
“What did you do to him?” I scream.
“Nothing. I wasn’t the one racing him. Greg lost control.”
“I’ve got to go!” I cry, running to my car.
ICU 12.
I’ve never been so scared to push open a door. The nurse with the most sympathetic green eyes at the station said he just got out of surgery and he’s pretty badly banged up.
I blink back my tears, take a deep breath and move my heavy feet forward.
The heart monitor echoes the beeps of his beat. An IV stand with two bags hangs beside his bed with a tube draping under his blankets. An oxygen tube runs under his nose. He has stitches under his left eye down along his cheek bone. He looks how pain feels.
I slide a chair over to his bedside and hesitate before finally moving the blanket a little to hold his hand. His lifeless hand in mine…I cry dropping my forehead to the bed.
If I had kept my mouth shut, he wouldn’t be here.
“Ma’am,” a little voice calls from behind and I look to a petite nurse with compassionate eyes. “Are you his next of kin?”
I blink back my tears, shaking my head. “I’m his girlfriend.”
“Will you contact them, please?”
I nod. “Do you have his cell phone?”
“It’s in the bag in the cabinet.” She smiles tenderly and steps back out of the room.
“What’s up, dickwad?” Levi answers.
“Um, Levi, it’s Kelsie,” I stutter, pushing back my tears. “Adam’s been in a bad wreck. He’s in the hospital. They’re asking for his next of kin and I don’t know who to call.”
“Where’s he at?” Levi snaps and it shatters the dam holding back my tears.
“Triad Hospital. It’s—”
; “I know where it is. How bad?”
“I haven’t gotten to talk to a doctor yet. The nurse said he just came from surgery on his leg. He’s not awake.”
“I’m on the way,” he says quickly. “Tell the nurses I’m his next of kin. Call me if anything happens.”
He hangs up and I stare at the end call screen.
A doctor steps in behind the door and offers a smile before glancing at the monitors and checking things on Adam.
“He took an ugly spill. He broke his right femur, which was the rush to surgery. Two of his ribs are fractured. His left arm is broken as well and he has a severe concussion. Also, many bumps, scratches and bruises as you can see.”
“Is he going to be okay?” I ask with hope pouring from my wobbly voice.
“We’re monitoring the swelling on his brain. We will keep a close eye on him.”
I nod, wiping away a tear that spilled to my cheek.
“Also.” He looks to me over his glasses. “Sometimes patients with concussions can have a bit of amnesia lasting up to forty-eight hours. Don’t get your feelings hurt if he wakes up and doesn’t recognize you.”
Again, a counterfeit smile and then he leaves.
I feel like I’m going to puke.
The door pushes open and it jolts me from my sleep. Bright blue eyes inundated with worry glance to me and then to his friend. Levi’s in gym shorts with a black shirt and a gray hat, towing Paige in behind him.
“Any news?” he asks stepping beside Adam.
“He broke his right femur and left arm. Fractured some ribs and has a severe concussion.” I choke back my tears. “A lot of cuts and bruises too.”
“What the hell happened?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
Levi takes a very shaky breath and falls silent.
The room goes back to the chorus of beeps.
Paige slept on Levi’s lap in the chair against the wall. I’ve been in and out beside Adam’s bed, resting my head every so often. It’s a quarter after six in the morning and the nurse steps in to take Adam’s vitals. She’s done this every hour, somehow managing to not wake Paige and Levi up. This time, Levi’s eyes burst open, and he stands moving Paige into the chair and covering her back up with the crappy hospital blankets.
Levi watches the nurse intently as she takes his blood pressure and writes numbers down from the monitors on a clipboard.
“He’s doing well,” the nurse whispers checking the IV bags.
She doesn’t even look at us and steps out.
“I’m going to get us some coffee,” Levi says monotonously and steps out.
The left side of his face is bruised, a nasty blue and purple color taking over and engulfing the area where he’s stitched. There are small scratches over his forehead and chin. His bottom lip is busted. He looks horrible and it breaks my heart.
Levi comes back and hands me a cup. “I didn’t know how you like it. I grabbed a packet of everything.”
“Thanks,” I say and dive in for my caffeine fix. Right now, a perfect cup of coffee is the least of my worries. The heat soothes my dry throat, warming my insides, and imaginarily gives me the strength I feel I need to fight the day. I set it on the table then resume my position, holding his limp hand.
“Let’s go stretch,” Paige whispers to me.
I shake my head. “I don’t want to leave.” I look up to her. “Just in case.”
“You need to walk around and get away. Come on. We’ll only be gone for a minute and Levi will be right here with him.”
I look back to Adam and then sigh, knowing I need to move around for a bit. I reluctantly let go of his hand and grab my coffee, taking one last look before exiting the room.
We don’t exchange any words as she walks beside me to the end of the hall to a large window. Outside the sun is rising granting the sky an orange, hopeful glow. I take a sip of my coffee and then start back to his room.
Hospitals have always been creepy and eerily quiet regardless of all the noises. Every door you walk past is a different haunting sound. The hush tones between nurses and doctors…it’s somber as hell.
I hate hospitals.
Levi’s leaned against the wall with his large arms crossed, staring at Adam when we walk back in. After stepping into the bathroom, I sit back in the chair beside Adam’s bed.
Levi clears his throat. “Can you call whoever and find out what happened?”
I turn to him. “I prefer not to. It was Nick.”
His blue eyes change into a steely darkness. “That motherfucker…”
“I assumed the same thing, but he said he wasn’t the one racing him.” I pull my phone from underneath my leg and hold it up to him. “You can call him if you want.”
Levi’s eyes flash with disgust. “Where’s Adam’s phone?”
I point to the table.
He snatches it off the table and exits the room.
He’s not been gone for too long when he comes back in. “Danny said Greg lost control and clipped Adam from behind. He rolled several times before something caught and shifted him end over end at least four times. He was unconscious when the rescuers got him.”
I exhale, blinking back the hot horrid tears. “This is my fault.”
“His decision,” Levi states.
“We got into an argument and he left. It was petty. So stupid of me,” I choke.
Paige rubs my shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”
“He called me,” Levi says. “He wasn’t mad at you. He was pissed at himself.”
“He—” I start…
I spin back to Adam when my hand is squeezed. He winces and then groans. The energy in the room changes. Static electricity of hope rebounds around the walls and we all gather beside him.
Dull, distant brown eyes flicker open and land on me.
“Hey, baby,” I say.
He squints, looks around, squeezes my hand again, and shuts his eyes.
“Adam?” Levi asks, but we get no response.
I drop my head to the bed.
“Fuck,” Levi growls.
It’s been several hours since Adam opened his eyes. Since then, several doctors and nurses have stepped in, checking different things and switching out an IV bag. None are giving us a prognosis, but all are saying, “At least he’s alive.”
“Y’all need to eat.” Paige stands, stretching to her tiptoes. “It’s almost lunch.”
“I’m not hungry,” I tell her politely.
“Me neither,” Levi says.
“I’m going to get something whether you eat it or not. I’ll run down to the cafeteria or whatever.”
Adam groans again, turning his head slightly. He opens his eyes again, but this time, they’re not dull. This time there’s life to them.
He licks his lips.
“Hi,” I say with a small smile.
He blinks a few times. “Hi,” he rasps.
Tears of joy and ache sting my eyes.
He moans and grimaces. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.” His voice is hoarse.
Levi steps beside me. “Dickhead, you can’t scare us like this.”
Adam’s lip twitches up and he scans the room with just his eyes. Confusion sets in.
“You were in a bad wreck,” I tell him.
He closes his eyes again, trying to move. “How bad?” he grunts.
“Enough to plant your ass in the hospital,” Levi says heavy with sarcasm.
A short nurse with long blonde hair pulled into a loose ponytail steps in, smiling wide. “Good afternoon, Mr. Andrews.” She’s way too cheery. “I’ve got to check a few things.”
I slide away from the bed and allow her to do her duties.
“You took a bad spill. Do you remember what happened?” she asks.
Adam mumbles something and then, “That’s fucking bright!”
“I know it is. I’m sorry. Just one…more…done.” She pulls her stethoscope out and moves the top of his gown down, placing it on his chest. “You
’ve got some fractured ribs so don’t take too deep of a breath, but inhale for me, will ya?”
Adam groans again.
“Alrighty. The doctor will be in here to poke and prod you some more. Do you need anything?”
“Something to drink and can I sit up?”
“Right here’s the button—”
“Shit. I broke my arm?” Adam interrupts.
“The cast always gives it away,” she laughs at her joke. “Your leg is in a bigger one.”
“Damn,” he grunts.
“Right here’s the button to move you up and down. Don’t touch the one for your legs. You’ll be a regretful man. And don’t move around too much. You’ll hate yourself.”
She flicks her ponytail and bounces out the door.
“Broken arm, broken leg, fractured ribs. Busted myself up pretty bad.”
“Do you remember what happened?” Levi asks.
“No. And if I look like this, I’d hate to see how bad my Tahoe looks.”
Levi shakes his head. “You weren’t in it.” His tone dripping with sympathy.
Realization and fear flash in Adam’s eyes. “Fuck.”
“They towed it to your house,” Levi says.
“Was I racing?” Adam’s voice is raspy again.
Levi nods. “Some guy name Greg. You both wrecked.”
“He okay?”
“Yeah. Couple scrapes and bruises. You were the unlucky one,” Levi says.
Adam looks to me with worried eyes. “Were you there?”
“No,” I say with a soft smile.
“Good,” he sighs shutting his eyes. “You didn’t need to see…”
“Adam?” I speak softly.
The nurse pops back in holding a small cup of water with a straw. “Did he already fall back asleep?” she asks placing the cup on the rolling tray.
“He was just talking,” I express.
“He’s pumped full of medicine to reduce his pain. Nothing to fret about,” she chirps and then walks back out the door.
