by Janie Crouch
“I’ll look into Rocco more closely,” Aiden said.
Henry stood. “Me too. I’ve got to get going, but I’ll be in touch with any info I find.”
Finn stood and pointed at her as he walked Henry to the door. “And you stay far away from them if they show back up. Way far.”
He came back in and made the three of them oatmeal—giving her a dirty look again when she offered to help—and he and Aiden moved the conversation to funny stories from their time in the Army. She had finished her oatmeal and was laughing as they argued about who held the record for the longest hike carrying a backpack with fifty pounds of gear.
“One time I had to carry Finn and his backpack for two miles, so I win anyway,” Aiden said as he finished his last bite of oatmeal.
“Why? Did you lose a bet?” she asked.
Their laughter died and the look between the two became solemn. “Our boy here had just taken one for the team,” Aiden said softly. “Needed a little help getting out of enemy territory.”
Charlie’s eyes flew to Finn’s. If Aiden had carried him out of enemy territory, then he’d been in pretty desperate shape.
“How bad?” The question came out strangled.
“Not bad.”
“Bad.”
Both answered at the same time, Finn downplaying his injuries, Aiden probably telling the truth.
She turned to Aiden. “How long ago?”
“Eight years. He was pretty reckless back then.”
Her eyes fell on Finn. Right after she’d married Brandon. He’d been hurting, confused, and reckless. And he’d almost died because of it.
Because of her.
He reached over and grabbed her hand. “Hey, I lived. Takes more than a group of isolated Afghani extremists to put me down.”
Finn was the strongest man she’d ever known. In every possible way.
She couldn’t stay at the table, not without spilling her guts and begging for his forgiveness and trying to explain away all the mistakes she’d made. It was too late for that.
She picked up the empty bowls and walked them over to the sink, looking out the window at the morning sun rising higher into the sky. It was time to go. In more ways than one.
“Can you give me a ride back to my car?” she asked. “I’ll get out of your hair. I know you’ve got stuff to do.”
“Why don’t I just take you to your condo,” Finn said. “I’ll get one of the guys to run by the Cactus and bring your car to you.”
There was no way he could take her to the condo. “No, I need to go into work. It’s already past midnight for this Cinderella. Playtime is over.”
He brought the coffee cups to the sink and stood beside her. “You’ve got to promise me you’ll stay away from the Cactus. That place is not safe.”
She had no desire to go back there, but she might not have a choice. She reached up and brushed his cheek with her hand. “I promise I’m going to take better care of myself.” And she was. She couldn’t take a chance on getting that rundown again. She felt so much better now after multiple good meals and lots of sleep. Or at least lots of time lying on a bed.
Finn looked skeptical.
“I promise,” she said again, careful not to be too specific.
Aiden offered to give her a ride since Ethan was due home soon. She grabbed her suitcase and was ready to go a few minutes later. Aiden took the suitcase and went out to the car.
She was on her way out, too, when Finn grabbed her waist and spun her around. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled his lips down to hers. “Thank you,” she said against his mouth. “For everything.”
“You and I need to talk about what happened here. The sex. We both know that.”
Just like they both knew talking wasn’t going to change anything about their past. “Do we? What can be said besides rehashing what we’ve already lived through? I have no place in your life, Finn. I know that.”
And she’d give anything for it not to be true.
He had this beautiful big house here in the woods, one she would’ve chosen if she’d been around to choose. He had this beautiful full life and she wasn’t part of it. No talk was going to change—
He kissed her.
He kissed her in a way didn’t change any facts about their past, but it gave her hope about their future.
Chapter Nineteen
Three weeks later Charlie was back working the open-to-close shift at The Silver Palace. The hours were still long and wince-worthy, except now not only did her feet hurt, but certain distinct other parts of her body ached too.
At least pleasant memories accompanied those.
Pleasant. If ever there was too tame a word, that was it. But what was the appropriate word for panty-melting, whisker-burns-on-her-inner-thighs great sex?
She hadn’t planned on any sexcapades yesterday. She’d been very professional and proper as she’d tutored Ethan in the small library conference room. The kid had come so far. His ability to remember the symbols and numbers they were substituting for words was amazing. They’d basically come up with their own code. It wouldn’t make sense to anyone else, but it didn’t have to. It did to Ethan, and that’s what mattered. She fully expected him to be applying the system to other books and reading at grade level by Christmas.
But having Finn sit in the large chair—which was supposed to be used for reading, damn it—during the tutoring session, studying her with those green eyes . . . Not the way he had during the first session, like he wanted to make sure she didn’t do anything unprofessional.
This time he watched with his eyes hooded, his elbow leaning on the arm of the chair, chin resting on his fingers, one tapping his cheek. To anyone else, he’d just look like he was waiting for a meeting to be over.
To Charlie, it was clear he was remembering every unprofessional thing they’d done in the past three weeks.
In very clear detail.
And he was imagining quite a few more he’d like to do to her now.
He didn’t do or say anything that would jeopardize the tutoring session. And little Ethan was completely unaware of the tension crackling between his dad and Charlie.
She, on the other hand, was afraid she might spontaneously combust.
Finn had remained completely respectful and professional afterward when he’d insisted on buying her lunch. But she couldn’t even concentrate on the delicious food because of the way those green eyes kept pinning her from across the table. Finn’s eyes hadn’t left hers when he’d asked Ethan if he wanted to hang out at the Frontier for a bit while he drove Charlie somewhere.
They were in his Jeep thirty seconds later, heading out of town. They hadn’t even made it to the city limits before she was reaching over to unzip his jeans. His groan echoed through the car as she reached inside.
She stroked him, teasing his length. “You were very naughty in the library.”
She unbuckled her seat belt and leaned down to lick across the exposed length of him. One of his hands tangled in her hair and his hips jerked up. His strangled curse filled the car.
“I didn’t do or say anything.” His voice was raspy. “I made sure of it.”
She took more of him into her mouth, trailing her tongue as far as she could reach, then back up to the tip, before sucking him harder. “But I knew what you were thinking. You were remembering me in your bed, on my hands and knees holding on to the headboard.”
His groan reverberated though the vehicle. Maybe he’d been remembering something else, but it didn’t matter. There were a lot of options.
“Jesus, Charlie.” His fist tightened in her hair. “I can’t drive with your little mouth making me crazy in more ways than one.”
She had always loved it when he got a little rough. Lost control. She smiled around him, using her hands to drive him crazier still. “Then you better hurry up and get us to one of our old, trusty hideouts.” God knew they’d had enough in high school.
He had. Five minutes and multiple groans
from him later, as she took him deeper into her mouth, he all but swerved the Jeep into an old picnic area that people had stopped coming to after a bridge collapsed and made it difficult to access. That had been ten years ago.
She didn’t have much time to look around before Finn yanked her from her seat and dragged her out his door, his pants still pulled down over his hips. His mouth crashed into hers for just a few seconds—hard, brutal, beautiful—as he worked open the buttons of her blouse, then closed his fingers around her breast, teasing her nipples into hard points through her bra. She was panting by the time he pulled the lacy material down, exposing her nipples. Keening as he lifted her by the waist, so he could reach them with his mouth.
She couldn’t stop her cry of protest when he put her back down on the ground a minute later. Until he turned her and bent her over the driver’s seat.
The leather was warm and stiff against her damp nipples and she couldn’t help but rub against it for the friction. His hands skimmed roughly up the back of her thighs, bringing the soft cotton of her skirt up with them. He grasped the top of her panties with one hand, pulling them down as he leaned over and whispered hotly in her ear.
“You better hold on to that emergency brake, baby. I don’t have any gentle left in me.”
She grabbed it with both hands, but it was so long and hard, so phallic in her hands, she couldn’t help giving him a sassy look over her shoulder as she curled her fingers around it and stroked it, just like she would his cock if she’d had it in her hands.
Those green eyes narrowed into slits. “That’s going to get you so fucked,” he promised, voice deeper than she’d ever heard it.
Hers wasn’t any less husky. “I hope so.”
And it had. Oh, how it had, from a moment later when he thrust in to the hilt until not long after, when she was truly hanging on to the brake as he slammed into her over and over. All she could do was sob his name as the world shattered around her.
By the time they’d made it back to the Frontier forty-five minutes later, she was sure everybody in the entire town knew what they’d been doing. Wavy certainly had, though Finn’s sister hadn’t said anything as they walked back into the diner.
But when Mia Stevenson, pediatric nurse and town gossip, saw them come back into the Frontier parking lot, Finn stealing one last kiss, Charlie knew they were in trouble. It wouldn’t be long until everyone knew about them.
They’d been sneaking around having sex every moment they could find alone for the last three weeks. But she and Finn still hadn’t talked like he’d said he wanted to that morning at his house. And she hadn’t pushed it. Because that meant solidifying. She’d rather not talk and still be able to spend time with him than know exactly where she stood—apart.
So, each time they got together, fear wrapped an icy grip around her heart for those first few minutes.
Had he come to his senses this time?
Decided he’d had enough?
Realized he wasn’t ever going to be able to forgive her?
Was this the time he wouldn’t pull her into his arms, but instead put her in her place—tell her he was done?
Waiting for the other shoe to drop weighed on her. But she would carry the weight, even knowing this all had to end. When it did, it would no doubt leave her a bloody mess, but she still rushed to meet him every chance she got.
She didn’t even try to fool herself into thinking she was going to stop. She wasn’t sure she was going to have the strength to walk away once he was done with her. She damn well didn’t have it when he wanted her. All she could do was hold on to each moment and collect them in her heart for when she didn’t have him anymore.
The other thing she was collecting was all the secrets she was keeping from him. He still didn’t know she was homeless. She just couldn’t bear to tell him. He would want her to move in with him and she couldn’t do that. It wasn’t the right choice for him or her. Or a good example for Ethan.
The money he’d given her—closer to a thousand than a couple hundred—had given her a little bit of a cushion, enough that she was making sure she got two full meals every day. Protein. Vegetables. And a bunch of carbs, since her body was blowing through them. She hadn’t gained any weight, but at least she hadn’t lost any either.
And she’d been sleeping. The two nights at his house had helped chase away the fear that Rocco’s business friends might still be after her. They weren’t. That had been just her own exhausted paranoia.
The Cactus . . .well, that couldn’t be helped. Finn didn’t want her there, but if he knew the alternative—sleeping in her car—he’d understand.
No, he wouldn’t. He definitely wouldn’t. So, she just did her best to make sure it never came up. So long as she didn’t look too tired, he didn’t pry. She still slept in her car some, but not nearly as often.
If he knew she’d sublet her condo and had no actual address, he would kill her. He’d want to know why she hadn’t told him from the very beginning, or let him help. Even when she explained—this was her responsibility, not his—he still wasn’t going to understand.
She delivered another drink to a customer. Thank God it was almost closing time. Delicious aches or not, she still had a lot of work to do. Paul hadn’t shown up for the third shift in a row. Mack had officially declared him fired, since he hadn’t been able to get in touch with him and the guy had just left them in a lurch. Charlie hadn’t liked him, even when the scary-people-in-the-back-room incident turned out to be nothing, so it was no skin off her back. But it meant they were short-staffed. More work for everyone.
Jordan approached her after the last drink had been served and all the customers were gone. They were both closing when Jordan cleared her throat, tucking a strand of her dark brown hair behind her ear.
“You know I spent the last six years in prison.”
Charlie shook her head and kept wiping down the bar. “You know that you don’t have to start every conversation you have with me with that information, right?”
Jordan looked down and rubbed her neck. “Yeah, I know. It’s a bad habit I’ve gotten into, framing everything around my incarceration.”
Jordan really was a smart young woman. Well-spoken, despite the time she’d been in jail. She should be in college somewhere, not working here. But some thing things didn’t turn out the way you planned.
“Let’s just agree that I know, I don’t care, the past is the past, and you never have to mention it to me again, deal?”
“Deal.”
“So, what did you need?”
Jordan grabbed a rack of cleaned glasses and began returning them to their place. She cleared her throat again. “I wanted to see if maybe you and I could work out some sort of a trade-off. I think maybe we could help each other.”
“How so?”
Jordan’s face reddened as she put away the glasses with much more care than necessary. “Look, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings or your pride or anything. I have the utmost respect for you and—”
“Jordan. Spit it out.” Charlie went over to stand right next to the other woman. Jordan may have five inches on her, but the way she was hunched over, it was almost unnoticeable.
“I wanted to know if you wanted to do a trade. Driving here every day from Oak Creek is a long way and my car isn’t the best, and gas costs a ton. You and I are basically working every shift we can here . . .”
“So, you need a ride.” Shit. This was going to get complicated.
Jordan stopped stacking the glasses. “Yes. And in return, I thought you could live with me at my house. Actually, it was my mother’s before she died, and it’s completely paid off, which is why I have it.” Her words began to speed up. “You’re probably like most people and think I don’t deserve to have a house after what my father did to everyone and then me—”
Charlie touched her arm. “Past is the past, remember? And I definitely don’t hold you responsible for your father’s sins.”
Jordan blew out a puff
of air, her shoulders hunching even more, like a balloon deflating. “You’re in the minority.”
“Look, Jordan—”
“I know you sleep in your car some nights, Charlie. That you don’t have anywhere to live.”
She nearly dropped the glass she was holding. “What? How did you know—?”
“Let’s chalk it up to me having six year’s practice watching other people and figuring them out. I’ve seen you wash up in the bathroom here after closing more than once. I’ve seen what you eat, and it’s never anything like leftovers from the night before. When you arrive for your shift, you sometimes wear the same clothes from the night before when you left.”
“Shit.” Now a flush was creeping across her own cheeks.
“This isn’t charity. It’s not because I feel sorry for you or anything. I don’t have money to get a new car. You don’t seem to have enough to afford a place to live. We both have what the other needs.”
Jordan licked her lips with a nervous sort of hope. The woman was telling the truth. She wasn’t making this offer out of pity, but because it was a good fit for them.
“Okay, yes,” Charlie finally said. She’d be an idiot not to. Especially since it would also help someone who was becoming a friend.
She’d almost forgotten what those were like.
“Great.” Jordan bumped her shoulder against Charlie’s. “And, I overheard Mia Stevenson talking about seeing you and Finn kissing in a parking lot yesterday.”
She just made a hmmm noise in her throat, not sure where Jordan was going with it.
“So, I guess I should tell you that my house is only a couple miles from his place.”
She couldn’t stop her smile. Now it was truly an offer she couldn’t refuse.
Chapter Twenty
Finn stared at himself in the bathroom mirror.
“You think more is the answer? What are you, a glutton for punishment? You’re not in high school anymore, for fuck’s sake. You know better.”
He did know better.
