“Well, looks like I got assigned the wrong job,” a voice said from behind us, and Memphis was on his feet, his wings spread wide to buffer me from the intruder. I looked between his feathers and recognized Gusion. The final Fallen.
He was so fucking beautiful. If Memphis was darkness, then Gusion was sunshine. Everything about him was golden.
“What are you doing here Gusion?” Memphis sounded scarily pissed off. He took an ominous step toward his fellow Fallen angel, but Gusion didn’t seem overly concerned.
“Cock blocking your ancient ass, obviously.” His grin was infectious, and I felt myself smiling even though he was technically cockblocking me too. Memphis made a terrifying noise deep in his chest, and Gusion laughed again. “I see how it is. You can stop with the wing erection, man. It's not like she was naked, and it's not like I don't know what she looks like.”
Memphis muttered something in a language that sounded like Latin, and whatever he said didn’t sound very complimentary. Gusion continued to laugh.
“But seriously, Memphis, I need a favor. Luc has me watching Uri- uh you-know-who, but he keeps doing his business at night and I stand out like the fucking Flaming Sword of God at night time. Unlike you, my very favorite stealth agent. Luc wants you to follow you-know-who for a couple of nights, see what he gets up to. I promise to take care of your girl,” he winked at me, and laughed when Memphis lunged at him. “I’m joking, man. I know, alright. I know. I’m just fucking with you.”
What did he know? I felt like I was missing something important, but they’d moved on before I could ask.
“He’s up to something shady. How that bastard gets away with half of what he does without getting the wrath of the Father all over his ass is beyond me. Luc says we can’t just smother him in his sleep. It wouldn’t kill him but it’d hurt like hell. Literally.”
He laughed like he’d made the funniest joke ever, and I grinned along with him. Memphis looked between us.
“Her human bodyguard is gone. She needs protection.”
Gusion crossed his heart. “I promise to guard her with my body.”
“That's what I’m worried about,” he grumbled.
I took in Gusion now that he wasn’t obscured by Memphis’ wings. His skin was golden, not like a Californian surfer, but more like the sands of the Sahara. And it shone like someone had dipped him in body oil and then rolled him in glitter. Like a stripper at three A.M. Actually… “You don’t happen to pole dance, do you?”
His eyes widened with surprise. “No, but I would be willing to give it a try if you would return the favor?”
“Stop, Gusion. Remember to whom you speak,” Memphis said, his voice pitched menacingly low.
Gusion stepped closer, so he was in Memphis’ space. I tensed. Was I meant to break up an angel fight? Did I get the hell out of the building? Should I pull the fire alarm as I got of the splash zone?
Gusion stepped close until he was chest to chest with Memphis. Then he wrapped his arm around him in a hug that would have crushed the bones of a mortal. “I know exactly who I’m talking to, Mephistopheles. I’d never do anything to jeopardize your future. You know that.”
Memphis wrapped his arm around Gusion, and thumped his back just below his wings.
“I know, Old Friend. I am sorry. It’s just…”
“I know.”
I was mesmerized by their embrace, their arms and bodies wrapped around each other, light and dark, like an angelic yin and yang. A few more back thumps and they pulled apart. Memphis turned to me.
“I must go. But Gusion will be around to ensure your safety. I shall be back in a week.” He put a hand on my cheek, and I looked up into those startling royal blue eyes and for the first time in my life, tried to figure someone out without any extra help from my empathic abilities. Maybe having someone able to block me wasn't so fantastic after all. It was like going temporarily blind.
“You guys know I don't need a babysitter, right? I’m fine here. I’m a world away from my abductors. This building has great security. I’m fine,” I repeated.
Memphis said nothing, but his eyes still stared directly into my soul. I sighed. “Fine. Be safe. Don’t do anything dangerous.”
Gusion laughed. “Oh Sweetness, we are the danger.”
Unlike Memphis, Gusion didn’t bother to hide his presence when Adnan arrived home, although he did humanize himself, thank goodness. Adnan’s response to Gusion was almost humorous. He was like one of those silver screen damsels who faints at the sight of a handsome man. Except, instead of fainting, he stood there, his mouth hanging open, uncharacteristically mute. I should have snapped a picture, blown it up and framed it.
“Adnan, this is Gusion, my new, uh, bodyguard.”
Gus smiled a smile that was a little too bright to be fully human, his perfection almost retina searing. “Please, call me Gus.” He put out a hand to shake Adnan’s, but Adnan was too awestruck to notice.
I couldn’t blame him. Even without his angelic oomph, Gusion was almost unbearably pretty. His face was perfect in a way that defied description. He had strong broad shoulders that tapered to a trim waist and muscular arms. His long, blonde hair was like a shining river of gold that swung down to the middle of his back. I had a sudden, and very vivid image of wrapping that hair around my hands as he drove his body into mine.
“Hope?”
Gusion’s question shook me from my Adnan style fugue. Whoops.
“Sorry, come on, let's have a glass of wine,” I strode toward the kitchen. A glass of wine was definitely in order. Maybe ten. I put two bottles under my arm and Adnan grabbed three glasses from the cabinet.
The apartment was back to being orderly, thank goodness. Standing in the living room would no longer make Blue anxious.
Thoughts of Blue made me sad. He hadn’t returned, even though I expected him too. I’d talked to Granny Mulligan yesterday, and she’d made no mention of Blue. In fact, she seemed to assume that Blue was still here, being my mildly aggressive lapdog. I didn’t correct her. Wherever Blue was, he didn’t need the wrath of the Mulligans for abandoning his post. It had been my fault anyway.
I twisted to sit on the couch, and for the first time in a week, it was almost pain free. I breathed a deep sigh of relief. I was healing.
“Do you still dance, Adnan?” Gus asked as I poured him wine.
Adnan got the deer in the headlights look again, but this time managed to shake it quickly. “Yes. First amputee dancer in the Manhattan Dance Company.”
“You’ll do big things if you can look outside yourself.” Gus looked into the middle distance, and I narrowed my eyes at him. I was at my quota of weird angelic behaviour for the day, so I let it go.
Unfortunately, letting things go wasn’t in Adnan’s wheelhouse. “What do you mean? How did you know I was a dancer anyway?”
He flashed that megawatt smile. It was almost blinding. “I knew you mother. Nice woman. Also, I was around when you arrived in the US.”
Adnan froze like a statue. We didn’t talk much about how Adnan and his older brother Nazir had come to be in the family. It was a traumatic time for Adnan, and when he thought about it, his emotions were ragged and raw, even after twenty-one years. While he didn’t remember before with the same clarity as Nazir, he remembered enough about all the angelic interference that he hesitated to ever speak about it. It had been the Archangel Raphael who’d amputated his leg after an airstrike had brought down his family’s apartment on his head. It had been Ace that had soothed him when he’d turned up on my parent’s doorstep, orphaned and in need of serious medical care.
Nazir hadn’t coped, instead running off to military school and then becoming a mercenary. The one time I’d had to shake his hand after one of Adnan’s concerts, his emotions had almost crushed me. The anger, the fear, the self-loathing had swamped sixteen-year-old me like a tidal wave. If Rella hadn’t been there, I probably would have broken apart.
Now Nazir was with Rella, exacting revenge. The i
dea terrified me. I never told her how much I depended on her. If she knew, she’d never live her own life. She protected me with the fierceness of a lioness, but I wanted her to enjoy her life for her.
I realized Adnan had found his voice. “You’re, you know…”
“An Angel? Well, a former one anyway. Now, I’m Fallen.”
I realized belatedly that I couldn’t feel Gusion’s emotions. Nothing. Not even the brief hints I got with Memphis. I placed a hand on his arm.
A moan bubbled from my lips, the only sign I could give before I dropped my glass and blacked out.
7
“She must be pushing herself too hard. She is on bedrest. If she can’t manage that, I’ll move in myself and ensure she rests.”
I blinked awake to the sound of Eli’s voice. “Dad.”
“Hello, Little One. How do you feel?” Eli was in full doctor mode, checking my obs now that I was awake, probably for some delayed brain damage or something. I could have told him my fainting spell had nothing to do with my injuries, and everything to do with my six sense. But we didn’t talk about it within the family. I was sure they knew, but no one mentioned it. It was safer that way. If we didn't acknowledge it out loud, then no one could use the information against us.
“I feel fine. My blood pressure must have dropped or something.” I sat up, and saw Mom fussing at the end of the bed. She came over and gave me a hug. “Seriously, Mom, I’m fine.”
“Have you been working too hard? You’re meant to be on bed rest. Do I need to move in and make sure you are taking care of yourself?” she repeated.
I winced. I loved my parents, so so much, but the last thing I wanted was any of them moving into the apartment.
“I promise I’ll relax more. I’ll even tell them I need another week off from work. What are they going to do? Sack me?”
Eli scoffed. “I wouldn’t put it past Tolliver. He’s very serious about that Foundation.”
“So am I, but I know I need more recovery time.”
Appeased slightly, they sat on the bed and filled me in on the family gossip. I listened with half an ear about their holiday to some deserted island where they no doubt did “things” I don't even want to contemplate between jet skiing and sunbathing. They told me that Oz had created a new translation system that didn’t require internet connection for use by aid workers in refugee camps. Lux had started a gym for disadvantaged youth. Valery had managed to create a twelve foot high croquembouche.
By the time Gusion sifted them away, I really was exhausted. Adnan brought me a glass of water with a slice of lemon.
“You scared me,” he murmured, fluffing my pillows needlessly. “You keeled over, then Gusion stood and he had wings and he was so damn beautiful, then he was gone and Eli was here. And then Gus went back and got your Mom, because she threatened to tell Ace if he didn’t. You wouldn’t wake up. I figured you weren’t dead, because Rella would have been here quicker than you could say ‘Holy sexy angel balls.” He leaned forward and scooped me into his arms. “Don’t do that again. You scared ten years off my life.”
I rubbed circles on his back. “Sorry Ads.” I felt Gusion’s presence, and looked over Adnan’s head to see him standing in the corner, still incorporeal. “I’m tired. I might try and get some sleep, okay?” I murmured distractedly against Adnan’s shoulder.
“Sure thing,” he said, leaning forward and kissing my forehead. “Sleep tight. You are at your quota for drama this year. No more fainting or anything, got it?”
I smiled. “My pleasure.”
As soon as he left, shutting the door softly, Gus became visible. He walked over and slid into bed beside me. His wings took up half the bed, and tickled my arm. “What happened? I’ve been around long enough, and had enough mortal wounds to know that wasn’t caused by your current injuries.”
“No.”
“You know, when I was an angel, my ability was to determine a person's past, present and future. Even my fellow angels. But you, you are a blank to me. A mystery. It’s like your future is your own. As if God has no divine plan for you, because you weren’t meant to exist. You are outside natures plan.”
“You sound like Azriel. Next you’ll be calling me a soulless abomination.”
“Azriel?” Gusion’s eyebrows got impossibly high. “What do you know of Azriel?”
“Long story. So, is that what you are saying? That I have no soul?
Gus waved a hand in the air above us. “No. Obviously not. I can sense it in there, glowing with angelic light, wrapped around your humanity like a protective shield. No, what I am saying is that there is something about you that makes you different. Something that made you literally lose consciousness when you touched me.” He looked at me with deep whiskey colored eyes. “Yeah, I didn’t miss the cause of your fainting spell.”
I couldn’t tell him why I’d passed out. I’d felt him. Gusion had been the reason they had all fallen. He was so, so desperately sad. And guilty. The guilt of their circumstances, of their fates, ate away at him like a festering wound.
“Maybe I was just overwhelmed by your sheer attractiveness? Or maybe it was low blood sugar. It's fine either way.”
He made a rude noise, calling my bluff, but I stuck to my explanation. It was better than the alternative. Sorry, you are so fucked up emotionally that you literally shut down my system.
Apparently, I was collecting the damaged, the self-loathing and the angry. Some people collected Beanie Babies.
“Fine. You will tell me in your own time. But do not be mistaken, you will tell me eventually.” His voice dropped. “Because I’m irresistible.”
I laughed even as I rolled my eyes. “Annoying, maybe.”
“You should sleep,” he whispered, his own eyes already closing.
“Sleeping in bed with me is a little presumptuous, don’t you think?” I asked, though deep down I was glad he was there.
“I find I don’t want to be alone tonight,” he said, his voice muffled by the pillow as he rolled onto his stomach. His wings slid over me, almost like a downy blanket. He was probably right. I should sleep.
Instead, I gave into the same curiosity that made children poke things in power points even when they knew it was dangerous. I reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to read him again.
I was better prepared for it this time, for the unrelenting wave of sadness and guilt. Touching him I couldn’t hear his thoughts like I could a human, but I could get a clearer read on his emotions. There’d been a woman, that much I could tell, because he mourned her still, millennia later. Another angel, maybe? I could feel all the emotions snarled together like invasive vines tangling around his heart. He still felt guilty for defying his Father’s orders. But there was still love, so much love, but it was a faded love. Anger, grief, guilt. They were like nesting dolls, all inside each other, like a wound that wouldn't heal. I wished I could take some of his pain, give him a moment of real happiness. His happy face hid the deep, soul-rending pain.
“What are you doing, Child of Acerezeal?” Gusion’s voice was husky. I realized my hand was rubbing up and down his bicep as I read him. Whoops.
“Trying to chase away your sadness,” I said, hoping he would take it at face value.
“I’m in bed with a beautiful woman, why would I be sad?” he asked, sounding genuinely confused. I bit my tongue to stop myself from spilling my secret. Again. I trusted the Fallen. Ace and Luc loved me, and Memphis was already keeping my secret. Gusion loved his fellow Fallen, there was no other reason he’d feel so much guilt otherwise. But I still couldn’t tell him.
So I smiled at him instead and moved my hand away. “Just a feeling. Sleep well, Gus.” I rolled onto my stomach beneath his wing, and listened to his breathing slow. I watched his face relax into the innocence of sleep, and I hoped I was chasing away his nightmares.
Several hours later, my leg was numb and I still wasn't asleep. I hadn’t told anyone, but I was still having trouble sleeping. Every
time I drifted off, I saw that last moment. The smoke from the gun, JJ’s body going down. But now, when the smoke cleared, it was Blue holding the gun, not the nameless men who actually abducted me.
About midnight, I’d had enough. I was uncomfortable and I was more awake than ever.
Gus had curled his wings against his back again, so I slid from the bed.
Maybe a glass of warm milk with a dash of vanilla might help. Papa, Valery I mean, would make it for me when I was a kid and couldn't sleep. Val was always up early making bread. I didn’t make it often now, but when I did, it was as nostalgic as it was comforting. It was like I was home again, listening to Papa’s French accent as he told me stories or recipes or sang me antiquated French nursery rhymes. I turned on the light over the stove and got out a saucepan. Filling it with milk, I set it to gently simmer.
“It’s the witching hour, so it seems fitting you’d be awake.”
I let out a little squeak, dropping my bottle of vanilla extract. Azriel darted forward, catching it before the glass bottle smashed on the tiles of the kitchen floor.
“Jesus fucking H. Christ, Azriel! What the hell were you thinking, sneaking up on me like that?” I whisper shouted at him. I didn’t want to wake Gus or Adnan.
“I didn’t sneak. I appeared. I announced my presence.”
I wanted to strangle him as my heart thudded in my chest. What kind of Neanderthal snuck up on a woman alone at night after she’d been through a traumatic experience?
“To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Azriel? My apartment must have moved onto the Highway to Heaven and I just didn’t realize.” The fear was making me pissed off.
“You’ve bewitched another one, I see?” He was looking through my open bedroom door at Gus spread out on my bed. Great bodyguard, that one. “And in your bed already. Fitting, that Gusion of the Fallen would find his way into the bed of an abomination.”
Rage surged up in my chest. “Look, you bag of dicks, I’m tired, hurting, and I don’t have time for your holier than thou bullshit. Why are you here?”
The Fallen- Part One Page 5
