“Can you make it down on foot?” Sam asked.
With a shake of his head, Chance conceded defeat. “I don’t think so.”
Sam signaled for Tenzing and Mingma to retrieve the wheeled toboggan they would use to transport Chance back to base camp. Her gut had told her not to send Mingma home when Roland backed out of the climb. If she hadn’t followed her instincts, she wouldn’t have enough support personnel on hand to complete the expedition.
Tenzing and Mingma loaded Chance onto the toboggan and covered his long legs with a blanket. A small canopy protected him from the elements.
Peter and Marie-Eve drifted over to say good-bye and offer words of encouragement. Chance gave each a fist bump.
Tenzing and Mingma indicated they were ready.
“I’m going with you,” Gigi said, continuing to hold Chance’s hand.
He adamantly shook his head. “Don’t give up on your dream because of me. I’ll be in good hands.” He pulled the oxygen mask aside to make sure his words were understood. “Stay and finish what you started.”
Gigi tenderly but firmly replaced the mask. She placed one hand on Chance’s chest and rested the other against his cheek. “I made a vow fifteen years ago and I don’t intend to break it now. Wherever you go, I go with you.”
Sam swallowed around the lump in her throat. She stepped away as Chance tried to plead his case. “But Olivia needs you to—”
Olivia spoke up. “I need two things: for you to get well and Gigi to make sure you do everything the doctors in Kathmandu tell you to. Do either of you have a problem with that?”
Chance grinned. “I’m not about to argue with one woman, let alone two.”
Gigi kissed Olivia on both cheeks and held her close. “Be careful, Liv.”
“I will.”
“What about me?” Chance asked. “Don’t I get any love?” When Olivia knelt and kissed his forehead, his broad smile quickly faded. “I’m sorry I let you down.”
She squeezed his hand. “That’s one thing you could never do.”
He looked up at the mountain one last time. “I wish I could see the view from up there. You’ll have to tell me all about it when you get home.”
She kissed him again. “You’ll be the first person I call.”
She tried to stand, but he wouldn’t let go of her hand.
“No matter what happens, this isn’t on you, okay?” he said fervently. “It’s on me. You didn’t ask me to come. I volunteered. I knew the risks. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially you.”
Sam could see Olivia’s brave front begin to crumble. Her chin trembled as Chance struggled to sit.
“Finish the job,” he said, carefully enunciating each word.
“I will. I promise.” Olivia helped him settle back into a horizontal position. “Get well soon, okay? I wouldn’t want my season tickets to go to waste.”
“Not a chance.”
Sam keyed the radio. “I’ve got two coming your way. One walking, one riding. Call emergency services and arrange chopper transport to Kathmandu for a case of HAPE.”
“Ten-four,” Dr. Curtis said.
After he signed off to place a call to Kathmandu on the sat phone, Rae’s voice came on the radio. “What’s the status of the rest of the party?”
“Shaken but holding it together. We’re going to dry out in Camp Two for a few hours, then head down to Camp One to bunk for the night. Tomorrow’s a rest day. That will give us a chance to regroup.”
“How many porters do you have left?”
“Two, not including Pasang. Jimmy and Lhakpa are here with me. Tenzing and Mingma are on their way to you.”
“Can you make it to the top with just three guys?”
“I’ve done it before with less.”
“Not everyone climbs as well as you do.”
Sam closed her eyes to guard against the unintended pain brought on by Rae’s words. Memories flooded her mind at a time when she needed the distractions the least. She could still hear Bailey’s voice. See the terror in her eyes. The same terror she had seen mirrored in Chance’s. She dragged herself out of the past and focused on the task at hand.
“I’ll keep you posted, Rae.”
“I’ll do the same. Over and out.”
Sam knuckled away a tear.
You’ve never lost a client, she reminded herself. And you’re not about to start now.
*
Olivia could use a hot bath and a good cry. She didn’t have access to one and she couldn’t afford the luxury of the other. Now, more than ever, her team needed her to lead them. She had to keep her shit together or the expedition that had been the most important item on her agenda for the past year would fall apart. She could handle the public humiliation if her mission failed, but she didn’t know if she would be able to recover from the disappointment.
She cleaned up as best she could with facial cleanser, hand sanitizer, and biodegradable baby wipes, then slathered on deodorant. She slipped on jeans, a sweatshirt, and a pair of thick wool socks. Her hiking boots were still damp, but she put them on anyway.
“Better to have one pair of wet shoes than two.”
Now that the rain finally seemed to be petering off, the temperatures were falling faster than the Dow Jones Industrial Average. It wouldn’t take long for the wet ground to freeze.
Time to break out the crampons.
She smiled, remembering the bad joke Chance had made about crampons the day they arrived at base camp. Then she teared up, wishing he were still around to make even more. She was the team leader, but he was the official class clown. He had helped keep everyone loose. Without him around, would they break the tension or let it break them?
She hadn’t received word of his condition. She had heard the chop of the rotors as the helicopter came in for a landing at base camp, but she hadn’t heard anything else since Rae’s brief message that the airlift was successful. That was hours ago. She had sent Gigi at least four text messages since then, but Gigi hadn’t responded to any of them. Was she too busy to read the messages or too upset?
Olivia tried to curb the tendency for pessimism that often found her focusing on the dark cloud instead of the silver lining. She tried to remember what Chance had told her before he left. She had to finish the job. If she didn’t, everything they had gone through would be in vain.
He had been so excited when she told him about the expedition. He had leaped at the chance to go with her before she could even ask the question. What if his playing career ended as a result of his condition? Despite what he had said, it wouldn’t be on him. The blame would rest squarely on her shoulders. If he died, she didn’t know if she could live with the guilt.
She closed her eyes.
Stop imagining the worst. Keep telling yourself everything will be fine and everything will be.
She picked up the jacket Sam had gallantly covered her with while she was treating Chance. She impulsively pressed the jacket to her nose. It smelled like Sam. Earthy yet ethereal. As solid as the ground beneath her feet but as light as the thin air in which she made a living.
“What are you doing?” Marie-Eve asked after she ducked inside the tent.
“Checking for B.O.” Olivia draped the jacket over her arm. “I was about to return this to its rightful owner, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t need to wash it first.”
Marie-Eve snorted. “I think everything we own is wash and wear these days.” She took a seat on her sleeping bag. “In case you’re wondering, Peter’s in charge of dinner tonight.”
“If we keep this up, Pasang’s going to think we don’t like his cooking.”
“He has nothing to worry about, believe me. Peter’s trying to one-up me after my desultory effort on the first night. Admittedly, it wouldn’t take much, but I’m half-hoping he falls flat on his face.”
“What are we having?”
“Sausage, sauerkraut, and fried potatoes. For your sake, I hope this tent has good ventilation because my side of
it is going to be gaseous tonight.” Marie-Eve exchanged her light jacket for a heavier one. “You’re single, aren’t you, Doc?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“When this is over, I have a few friends I could introduce you to. You’re what? Thirty-two? Thirty-three?”
“Thirty-five.”
“You’d be perfect for my friend Soleil. She’s twenty-three and she loves older women. I’ll give you her number if you want to hook up when we get back to the real world.”
“I don’t think so.” Olivia had never considered herself an older woman and didn’t plan on starting now.
“Are you sure? Soleil’s hot. I mean Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider shorts hot.”
“Then why aren’t you with her?”
“Did I mention she was twenty-three?”
Olivia’s life was complicated enough without adding an emotionally volatile twenty-three-year-old to the mix. The sex might be hot, but she didn’t have time for the drama. Even though the attachments she formed were brief, they were with women who stimulated her intellectually as well as physically. Sam fulfilled both requirements.
Sam intrigued her. Olivia wanted to unravel the mystery behind those beautiful blue eyes—even while her tongue’s caresses forced them to close.
“I’ll see you at dinner,” she said. “I’m going to ask Sam if she’s heard any news about Chance.”
“No news is supposed to be good news. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.”
“You and me both.”
*
Sam’s stomach growled. The smell of grilling bratwurst reminded her of Sunday afternoon tailgates outside the Metrodome. The Brett Favre era excluded, the Vikings had been so bad for so long the tailgate parties were often more enjoyable than the games. More competitive, too. She fought to overcome a wave of nostalgia. She didn’t get homesick often, but when she did, the desire to return to life as she once knew it could be overwhelming.
A shadow loomed over the front of the tent. Sam observed the loose-limbed walk. The long, athletic strides.
“We’ve got company,” Jimmy said in Nepali.
Sam responded in kind. “When are they going to realize they pay me to be their guide not their best friend?”
The figure raised a hand then lowered it. The body language was easy to read. How do I make my presence known when there’s no door to knock on and no bell to ring?
Jimmy chuckled as he packed tobacco into his pipe. “Stop pretending you don’t like your clients. You’re a different person when they’re around.”
“Meaning?”
Sam pushed herself to her feet. Her head spun then cleared. She could already feel the effects of the altitude on her body. Her energy level was down and she had to concentrate to complete even the simplest tasks. Every exertion took extra effort—and required a longer recovery time. The group had been moving at a relatively brisk pace so far. Soon, though, their top speed would become a crawl.
Jimmy held a match to the bowl of the pipe and puffed his cheeks like a bellows until the tobacco leaves began to emit a thin trail of smoke. He waved his hand to extinguish the match. “When they’re here, you have something to live for. Each time they leave, a little part of you goes with them.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Each time they leave, a little part of me comes back.”
Maybe one day I’ll be whole again.
“Yes, what is it?” She unzipped the flap and stepped outside, expecting to see Marie-Eve standing on her doorstep. “Oh, it’s you.”
Olivia stammered as if she was searching for what to say. “I—” She thrust a carefully folded bundle toward Sam. “Thanks for lending me your jacket.”
“No problem.” Sam caught a whiff of Olivia’s distinctly feminine scent. A blend of daffodils and sunshine. Was the pleasant smell coming from Olivia or was her jacket infused with it? Sam wanted to wrap her arms around both. She held the jacket in front of her, placing a makeshift barrier between them. “How’s the patient?”
“I haven’t heard anything yet.”
“No?” The chopper should have landed in Kathmandu over an hour ago. Sam thought Gigi would have sent Olivia a text message shortly after. Sam’s heart went out to her. She could see her struggling to maintain her composure. The stress of the climb was clearly wearing on her. Watching her friend fall by the wayside surely didn’t help. “I have contacts at the hospital where the chopper was headed. Let me make a few phone calls and see what I can find out.”
“You’d do that?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
Olivia’s expression grew even graver. “Because we’re paying you to be our guide, not our best friend.”
Sam’s face burned from embarrassment. She felt like kicking herself. Olivia had researched Annapurna I so thoroughly she seemed to know every inch of the mountain. Why wouldn’t she have studied the language, too?
Sam tried to clear the air. “That was—”
“Not meant for my ears so I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it.”
If their positions were reversed, Sam didn’t think she would have been nearly as gracious. She reached inside the tent and grabbed the satellite phone. “I’ll let you know what I find out.”
“I’d prefer to stay if that’s okay with you.”
“This could take a while. I wouldn’t want you to miss dinner.” She glanced at Peter and Pasang, who were loading steaming piles of food onto enamel plates.
“I’m not particularly fond of sausage.”
Sam tried not to smile at the seemingly unintended double entendre. “Something we have in common.”
She thought about grabbing her headlamp but quickly rejected the idea. The full moon overhead provided more than enough illumination. She examined the grayish black sky and winking canopy of stars. The clouds had cleared and she could see for miles. The view was spectacular. From the snow-capped mountain above to the lush valley and sparsely populated villages below.
She led Olivia to the supply tent and ushered her inside. If the news wasn’t what Olivia wanted to hear, she should be allowed to react to it far from prying eyes.
She lit a lantern to chase away the darkness. Then she covered several pallets of canned goods with a sleeping bag liner to form a makeshift chair. “Not a Queen Anne, but the best I can do under the circumstances.”
Olivia wordlessly took a seat.
Thirty minutes—and nearly as many miles of bureaucratic red tape later—Sam finally got the answers she was looking for.
“Did you follow any of that?” she asked after she ended the call.
Olivia leaned forward on her throne of beef stew and baked beans. Her hands were clasped between her knees as if in prayer. “I’m afraid I got lost the third time you were transferred.”
Sam pulled up a “chair” of her own. “Long story short, everything’s fine. Chance has been checked into the best hospital in Kathmandu and he has completed his first round of diuretics. Gigi hasn’t called you back because she’s sleeping as soundly as he is. He has a private room, but the hospital staff brought in another bed so she could stay after visiting hours. It was either that or watch her sleep on the floor.”
Olivia laughed. Her rigid posture gradually relaxed as her tension slowly disappeared. “That’s so like her. I knew she wouldn’t leave his side for a second.”
She sounded wistful. Almost envious. Was she wondering how it would feel to have someone love her that much?
“Thank you.”
Sam tried to downplay her efforts. Her company’s livelihood depended on successful summits and good word of mouth. She had spent half an hour talking to a parade of hospital personnel because she wanted to ease Olivia’s mind, not because she wanted her to provide a glowing review after the expedition ended. “I didn’t do anything.”
“You did more than you know.”
Olivia kissed Sam’s cheek, then wrapped her arms around her neck with surprising strength. Sam didn’t know whether to push her away or pull her closer
. Frozen, she loosely held her in her arms and waited for her to let go. Only Olivia didn’t let go. She clung to her like a drowning woman afraid of going down for the last time.
I’m probably supposed to hold her, but how? I’m probably supposed to say something, but what? She closed her eyes. Don’t think. Just do. Just…feel. Embrace your pain so you can help her let go of hers.
Sam held on tighter, needing the contact as much as Olivia seemed to. For years, she had found comfort in the arms of strangers. How odd to be the one offering reassurance instead of the one seeking it.
“Go ahead,” she whispered as Olivia began to cry. “Let it out if you need to. No one will think any less of you if you do.”
How many times had she heard those same words? How many times had she wished she could take them to heart? As she stroked Olivia’s hair—a gesture simultaneously familiar and foreign—she could sense Olivia trying to hold back. Trying to hold it together when what she needed most was to fall apart.
“Let it go, Olivia. I’m here.”
Olivia stifled a sob and pushed her away. “I’m okay,” she said, though Sam could see she was anything but. “Thanks for your help.”
“No problem.” Sam let her have the distance she seemed to crave. “If you need anything else, you know where to find me.”
Olivia nodded and headed out of the tent. The sense of relief she felt was so great she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Chance was going to be okay.
She joined Marie-Eve, Peter, and Pasang by the fire.
“Were you able to get an update?” Marie-Eve asked. She clapped her gloved hands after Olivia relayed the good news. “This calls for a celebration, don’t you think?”
Peter reached into his bag of marijuana, pulled out a joint, and held the flickering flame of his lighter against the pointed tip. The distinctive smell of burning cannabis assaulted Olivia’s nose. Peter took two puffs and passed the smoking joint to Pasang, who inhaled deeply before placing the thickly rolled cigarette between Marie-Eve’s eager fingers.
“I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but this is better than sex,” Marie-Eve said.
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