Battered and Bruised, But not Broken
Page 4
He slides my shirt up and off while I use the break to catch my breath and begin unbuttoning his shirt. He brushes an errant curl behind my ear before kissing his way down my neck, distracting me from the task I’ve started. I never realized how sensitive my neck is or my nipples are for that matter, as he’s currently nipping at them and I arch my back forcing them further into the clutches of his diabolical mouth. Oh, fuck is the only coherent thought I have at this moment.
After fully erecting both buds, he leans back looking very pleased with himself while I collect my thoughts and continue unbuttoning his shirt. I’m pleasantly surprised with what I find beneath. His chest is lightly dusted with a smattering of dark, baby fine hair that I trace with my fingertips. His breathing deepens while I push his shirt down his arms, unfurrowing a collage of fully sleeved tats which I intend to trace with my tongue at some interval.
“Do you like what you see?” the cocky fucker asks.
I nod, ‘yes’ and he releases his hold on me so his shirt can slide off. I toss it behind me, not caring where it lands as my only thought is running my hands across his abs. Fuck he’s hot.
He reaches down, tracing the outline of my hardened cock through my jeans. I gasp, nearly ready to come, and force myself to think of less desirable things before I ruin the moment by jizzing in my boxers. Grinding against his lap, I can tell I’m not the only one aroused.
“Elliott?”
“Mmm?” I mutter, my need for him intensifying.
“I want you.” Those three little words freeze me mid pump and I panic.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Um.”
“Don’t worry, I have condoms and lube.”
“Um.”
“Ell, you’re starting to worry me. You’ve gone pale, man. We can stop if you want to, just say the words.”
“I’m a virgin.”
Chapter Five
Hunter
Oh, my God!
Elliott’s twenty-three years old and a virgin? Holy shit. I didn’t know those existed anymore. I’m not ready for all that. Quickly shoving him off me, I stand up, trying my damnedest to get clear across the room from him. I lost my virginity at like, fifteen, maybe younger…
Anyone I’ve even been with was more experienced, and…
…just, and. Yeah, no can do this.
I pull out the chair at the table and plop down in it, cracking open another beer, ready for the mind race I know that’s coming my way.
Ell has confusion written all over his face, and his cheeks turn a rosy pink color from blushing. He won’t look at me, but instead, stands up and scrambles the floor for his shirt. Finding it, he slips it over his head, slightly tugging at the hem, as he covers his delicious chest with it.
“I should probably go now.” He tilts his head up just enough for me to get a peek at his gorgeous, hazel eyes. I love the fact that his eyelashes are blond, but long. “I obviously just freaked you out with that comment.”
I know I should say something, but can’t seem to find the right words.
Fuck him, my God I still want him, but I have no clue how to even approach him about it, or what to make of it. Hell, I don’t know if I want this or not. I can only imagine the expression on my face right now.
“Do what you need to do, Ell.” And here I go into standard walls up mode. “I told you that you’re safe, which means you’re free to come and go as you please.” I swear, I’m the only person on the planet who can take things from zero to worse in one fucking sentence.
“I think it’s probably best, don’t you, Hunter?” He stands up straight, and finally faces me with a look of determination on his face.
“To be honest, I don’t know.” Crap, way to go Hunter, open mouth insert foot…again.
Elliott heads for the door, then quickly turns around to face me again. Before I know it, Goldie locks is pulling out the other chair at the table and sits that fine ass of his right in it. That’s not what I expected from him at all, but I love it. Damn, he’s got a sassy cockiness I adore.
He reaches over and takes a swig of my beer, still not saying anything, then leans back in his chair, watching me. Nervy thing he is. Not sure how to handle that.
Okay, we’re on silent mode. Reminds me of two enemies, who have nothing to say, but need to rerun everything through their heads before they decide whether to kill each other, and count their losses. Like two 007’s. My name is Bond, James Bond. If only it were that easy.
My mental mind fuck is this. I’ve never gone down first on a man in my life, yet I did with Elliott. I smile at the thought, and he still holds a straight poker face, so I look away. Mr. No Name or number. Next, I apply for a job…there’s Elliott again. I’ve never in my fucking life been on an official date…guess who it’s with? Yep, Elliott.
It’s like something’s throwing us together, and that’s a whole ‘nother’ realm of shit for me. I like to be in control, not believe in all that fate and destiny bullshit.
But, back to the ongoing mental mind fuck I’m giving myself. A virgin. I don’t even know how to handle that one at all. For me, it’s always been kind of wham, bam, without the thank you, ma’am especially, at the end. It’s a hook up, period, no strings attached, so why am I suddenly imagining me choking myself half to death with shoestrings? I don’t know if I’m ready for all that commitment bullshit, and why I even thought that word in the first place, is beyond me.
Oh God, can you lend a guy a lightning bolt to zap himself with, please? Better yet, just do it for me. Zap my ass out.
To take on a virgin though? I don’t know if I have it in me. I don’t want to have to train anyone. Look at my own life, hell I did such a bang-up job, didn’t I? Besides, I’m not that kind of guy. I want someone who knows how to take the initiative sometimes too, not for me to be the damn coach. However, Elliott does that and I don’t even think he realizes it. The man has had my head spinning in circles since the first time I laid eyes on him.
Now, the whole convict story and how I got there and why? Really, he’ll probably be just like the rest of them. Dump and run as fast as he can. So, why bother opening myself up for all that shit? I can’t risk it, and that, pretty much faking my way through it just kind of fucking sucks balls. Not literally, it isn’t something I think I can handle, the rejection, the slammed doors, and all the other nasty shit that comes with it.
I look back up at Elliott, who is now standing up and sliding his chair under the table. I gulp down my beer as I his legs walk past me, and start choking. Dammit! Wrong windpipe. I start in a fit of uncontrollable coughs, trying to get air.
A hand hits the left side of my back, and I spit some beer out on the table, but he keeps smacking me until I’m damn near out of breath. Gasping for air, the warmness of his hand penetrates through my skin as he rubs gentle circles around my back until I’m back to breathing normal.
“Sorry.” I spin in the chair to face him, not wanting to lose his touch, but I need to see his face right now, get hypnotized by those eyes.
“Why? It happens to people all the time. No need to be sorry.” Elliott smiles.
There it is. That incredibly sexy grin thing he does without even trying. My God he’s so beautifully innocent.
“Not choking. I mean, I’m sorry for being a total dickwad on every level tonight.”
He bends, reaching for me, and caresses his hand across my cheek. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” I stand up, and slip my hand around his waist. “It’s not okay at all for me to be this way. It’s not me, I promise you it’s not. This is not me, it’s just what I’ve become, and I don’t know how to shake it.” Oh fuckenhell, what am I doing now?
“I don’t understand.” Elliott’s hand snug along mine, and he winds his fingers through my own, as I hold him.
“I have baggage, man. So much baggage. I don’t even know where to start. I’m like a living, walking curse.” I truly am, I know it and accept it. “It’s in your best intere
st to stay away from me.”
“Stop! Don’t say that about yourself.” Elliott’s fingers tighten in my hand.
“It’s true though. There are so many things I could tell you right now. Things that would send you running for the hills and make you never look back.” I’m not lying, but I can’t just splat it all out there or let him see any hints yet.
“Do you always do this?” He pulls back and puts his hand on his hip. Sassy.
“Do what?” I ask.
“Murder yourself half to fucking death? Hack and hack into yourself so much that you automatically assume everyone else will too.”
I start laughing. “Well, I’ve never heard it put quite like that before, but yes, I do.”
“Well then, it’s time to change that, Mister. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, but here we are. So, what’s next? Oh, and video games, that’s why I termed it that way. I play way too many of those things sometimes.”
“I’ve never played them before. I mean I did before I got booted out of the house by the ‘folks’ as a kid, but I was too busy trying to survive the real, live game stuff that life tossed my way.”
“You, poor baby.” Elliott eases in closer to me, then wraps his other arm around me. “I’ll have to teach you.”
Funny, he used the word teach. I believe I was just thinking about having to teach him some things, maybe he’s going to teach me a few too.
See why my head stays in a whirlwind around him?
I reach under his shirt, needing to feel his bare skin against mine again. As I raise his shirt with my thumbs, I let it fall back down, not wanting to disrespect this man in any way. He was just on his way out the door because of me, after all.
Elliott doesn’t flinch, but reaches for the end and yanks it up and over his head, letting it fall to the floor behind him. I take a quick glance down at his chest, and arms, so perfect.
We both walk back to the bed, and I swear I feel like a teenager on my first date. Butterflies swim in my stomach, I can’t seem to find words to say anything, plus I’m lost in his eyes. Why does he have this hold on me? It’s baffling. I spent years building that brick wall I hide behind for a reason, it keeps me in the safety of my own comfort, but now in walks Elliott, and he immediately starts chipping away the mortar, and wedging the bricks loose.
Fuck! Trouble, trouble, trouble! I see it coming, just don’t know how to stop it.
I lean back, arms folded behind my head on the pillow, and he climbs up and over, straddling me. Shit.
My mind might be a little bit of a wreck, okay a lot, it’s a total hot mess in there, but my cock is taking charge and overriding it faster than I can think of anything to say. I don’t know how to shut this down and instead choose to enjoy the moment.
“Relax. You’re so damn tense, Hunter.” He rubs his hands up and down my arms massaging them.
“That feels good.” I close my eyes, enjoying his touch.
Fingers trickle against my chest, and he glides them down my sides, then back to my belly button. I can’t help myself as I thrust up to him.
I glide my hands across his back, trailing them down to his ass, trying to slip inside his jeans, but they’re too tight.
He lets out a laugh, “Here, let me help.”
Elliott leans back, and unbuttons his jeans. Fucking-shit. I reach down to mine and do the same thing. I lick across my lips, then yank him forward until our bare chests are pressed against each other, and our lips meet.
Delving my tongue between his lips in search of his tongue, our tips meet, licking and teasing each other. I dash and swirl around him, then he nibbles and slurps around mine, then we push deeper into each other and repeat. He still tastes like fruit from his drink earlier, and here, all I have to offer is some God-awful beer taste, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
I jerk him down harder on me, our mouths slipping and sliding against each other’s. Our tongues are on a mission, but then my hand finds its way back down to that majestic ass he has. And by fuck, it goes beyond magnificence.
Skin so soft, my hands melt around him as I knead into him, and he slowly pumps against my cock. I’m about to shred the zipper straight out of my jeans.
I fight and fight with myself, because I love the way his ass tightens and clenches in my grip, but I’ve got to free my dick and his too. As soon as I release him, he leans up, and I glide my fingers to my zipper.
“Sorry, I was about to rip my dick a new one here,” I tell him, arching a brow.
He burst out laughing. “I know what you mean.”
“Then let’s fix this problem,” I suggest, not really suggesting, but offering maybe. I’m not sure yet.
Elliott crawls off me, watching as he stands beside the bed. I never break eye contact with him, and wiggle out of my jeans, kicking them off with my feet. He’s not moving a muscle, just scanning my body with his eyes.
“Can I help you?” I ask, not knowing how to handle this virgin thing, and don’t want to be too pushy or demanding. So, I figure it’s best to ask him before I tug his pants off him.
Elliott nods his head, and I turn on my side, catching him behind his thighs and edge him closer to me as he stands there.
I reach for his zipper, then gently and very slowly unzip it. I look up to him, maybe for permission, hell if I know what I need, but I know it’ll hit me when it’s okay. I don’t even know if this man has ever been completely naked with another man, or just hangs his dick out to be sucked or anything. God, so much of a mystery, almost like a puzzle, and I want to figure out where all the pieces fit for some reason. There’s something inside of me that needs to know everything about him… and it’s jacking with my head.
Okay, he didn’t stop me from the zipper, let’s see if he objects to this. I reach to his sides, looping my fingers through the belt loops and wedge them down over his hips. I love how they protrude, so sexy. He breaks out in goosebumps as I do, but he’s not telling me to stop, so I keep going until they’re hanging above his knees. His body begins to quiver, like he’s cold, but his beautiful cock is still standing at attention. That lets me know it’s just nerves.
I crook my finger, motioning him to bring his face to mine, and he bends my way. Our lips meet in a spark of electricity. Our tongues plunge together, relishing the moment, then he leans back up.
“God, you’re sexy as sin, Elliott,” I mutter to him.
He grins, then brings my hands back up to his jeans, so I lower them a little more, and he steps out of them, one leg at a time.
And before me stands the most intriguing man I’ve ever met in my life…and I don’t even know why he has this effect on me.
I yank him close to me and he almost falls from the sudden motion, but catches his balance. Running my hand up and down his glistening cock, I need to taste him again, so I pull him to me. I want to hear him holler my name. As he stands on the side of the bed, my mouth covers the head of his dick, and my God it sets my taste buds on fucking fire.
What the hell am I doing? Here I go again for the second time, sucking someone off first. Sucking him off first. His incredible cock is like crack to me. I can’t get enough of it. What’s wrong with me?
So, wrapped up in the essence of everything, I lose myself, and toss any other thoughts to the back of my brain, hoping they stay there and let me enjoy something for once in my life without it being a struggle.
I slather my tongue around his hard cock, running my fingertips under his nuts, loving how quickly they begin to tighten as I do. I edge him up on the bed, and pull him forward over my face, never letting his dick slip from my mouth. When he’s above me, I grab onto his ass, urging him to pump into my mouth, and he obliges.
Fingers scratch down his spine, and claw into his ass as I spread him apart, then push him together again. He rolls his hips back and forth, and I finally let his dick go free, but run my tongue up and down each side, and underneath. His vein is throbbing, so fucking huge, which I absolutely love, then I flick my tongue ag
ainst his nuts.
Elliott let’s out a throaty moan, which I wish I could engulf and suck down into my lungs, but unfortunately my mouth is a little preoccupied at the moment. Okay, it’s not unfortunate, but it is…and not, and...and, here goes the mental mind fuck again. Fuckenhell! Why couldn’t I have been born with two mouths?
“Oh God!” My warm breath blows against the wet licks I’m covering him with and he breaks out in chills. “Are you okay?”
“I’m, uh, I’m…” he starts laughing. “I don’t know what the hell I am right now.”
“Should I stop?” I ask, because I don’t know how to read his remarks or actions yet.
“Nooo!” he belts out like a rhinoceros plowing through a wild jungle or something. So, throaty, and cocky, damn near demanding.
I lose it and roll over, accidentally shoving him off me in the process, but can’t stop laughing. I curl my legs up close to my chest and slap the bed, hardly able to breathe.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but that was funny. All I pictured in my head was some wild animal charging out of the jungle on a mission, calling out ‘NO’ in animal language.
“Oh, my God.” Elliott starts cracking up laughing too. “Was it that obvious?”
I’m so embarrassed, but it is funny.
“Bit of a mood kill, huh?” I ask, still trying to suck in a little air so I don’t hyperventilate.
“No, not at all, not for me.” He scooches in closer, and we’re face to face now.
I wrap my arms around his back and tug him as tight as one could possibly be, without merging skin and morphing into one another.
Our lips meet, and our cocks touch. We start kissing, his tongue so tender and gentle. My cock twinges and jerks, as his warms against mine, and we continue to kiss, but grind together. I slide one arm under him, and the other one over, then shimmy them down to his ass, urging him to continue what he’s doing. He follows suit and does the same thing to me.
Before I know it, we’re wiggling, squirming, and grinding so hard against each other, still kissing, more like licking and slurping as our bodies go through the motions of fusing. I’m going to lose it with him so fast he’s going to think I’m an amateur.