“Anyway...” She paused to moisten her lips, and his attention snagged on the soft, pink skin.
A wave of heat flooded him, and for a moment, all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her again. Kiss her and—
“...I compiled enough proof of criminal neglect, conspiracy and negligent homicide...” Her voice cut through the hum of desire vibrating from his core, “Along with witnesses who promised to testify in exchange for immunity, that the case was reopened by the police. The frat guys responsible were convicted of second-degree murder and members of the fraternity council and university hierarchy were charged with conspiracy to conceal a crime.”
He blinked slowly, staring at her mouth while his mind played mental catch-up to her words. Charged...murder...convicted...
His heart lifted, and a smiled tugged his cheek. “You got them? You found the evidence needed and got Sean justice?”
Her grin was rife with satisfaction and pride. “I did.”
The joy that blossomed in his chest, the relief he felt knowing she’d won her battle with injustice was a balm to his own edginess and dissatisfaction. Something he might call hope squeezed into the ragged edges of his discontent and gave him more peace than he’d known in many months.
He leaned into her, stealing a kiss, and whispered, “You’re amazing!”
She blinked in surprise, then smiled. “Thank you.” Wrapping an arm around his neck, she held him close for another searing kiss, one he felt to his marrow.
But when she pulled back from the earth-shaking kiss, she was frowning.
“Erin?” Again he brushed her unruly curls away from her face. “What?”
“I had a moral victory, but...nothing can ever bring Sean back.” She heaved a cocoa-scented sigh. “And I miss him every day.”
Zane slid closer to her, framing her mournful face between his hands. “I’m so sorry. A grief like that... Well, I just—” He wanted to say something comforting and profound, but the truth was he barely knew what to do with his own feelings.
Piper was always quick to point out how out-of-touch he, the left-brained geek, was with his feelings. Emotions were, in fact, something of a foreign language to him and a constant source of frustration. If he were honest, strong emotions scared him. He tried to avoid them, when possible.
And so now, in the face of her deep grief, he redirected the conversation, because the topic of personal loss left him feeling raw and disturbingly off balance. “Did you know before all that happened that you wanted to be a journalist? I mean, you certainly showed your investigative skills in uncovering the truth about what happened to your brother.”
She lowered her gaze and drew her bottom lip in between her teeth for a moment then nodded. “Yeah, you could say the work I did to bring my brother’s killers to justice shaped my career path.” She raised her chin and regarded him with soft eyes. “Now it’s your turn. Tell me something about you.”
“Me? I’m boring. I thought we established that the other day. I’m a rancher through and through. An open book. Nothing to see, people. Move along.”
“Hmm,” she hummed, a doubtful lift to her eyebrow. “Everyone has secrets. I told you about my darkest hour. Do really think I’m gonna buy that you have nothing titillating beneath your protective layers?”
He snorted. “Titillating?”
“It’s a word. Look it up.”
“I know it’s a word. It’s just not a word anyone ever applied to me.”
“Indulge me.” She leaned back against the sofa cushions and propped her feet in his lap.
Zane swallowed hard. Somehow, having her socked feet inches from his groin was the sexiest thing to happen to him in months, maybe years. He wrapped his fingers around her toes and dug his thumbs into the arches of her feet. An erotic moan rolled from deep in her chest.
“C’mon, cowboy. Tell me something no one else knows about you.”
He concentrated on rubbing her soles and searched his memory. “Well...best I can come up with isn’t a secret from the world, just my family. Well, my siblings.”
“Oh, do tell!” She tapped the tips of her fingers together like a greedy gangster.
“In high school, I joined the debate team.”
She stared at him with a blank face. “And?”
“And nothing. I didn’t want my brother and sister to know I’d done anything as geeky as the debate team—”
“Hey! I was on the debate team! It’s not geeky!”
He shot her a dubious look. “For a high school quarterback, first baseman and weekend ruffie, the debate team is definitely geeky.”
“Ruffie?”
He nodded. “Rodeo term. A risk-taker.”
“You? A risk-taker?”
His hands stilled on her feet. “That surprises you? We are opening an adventure ranch. Josh isn’t the only one who enjoys the high-adrenaline stuff. Back in high school, I rode some of the meanest bulls in the area.”
“Huh.” She twirled a wisp of her hair around a finger. “And now? Are you still a bull rider?”
Zane shrugged. “Not in a while. No time for it.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “So you hid the debate team from your family...”
“Yep.” He moved his fingers to rub her heels. “I was already the butt of enough nerd jokes because of my study habits and grades. I didn’t need to fuel that fire.”
“Next question...”
He sighed. “Erin.”
“What would you say is your biggest fear, Mr. Ruffie? If mean bulls and high-adrenaline sports don’t scare you, then what does?”
He twisted his mouth in thought. “Probing interviews? Relentless, uncomfortable questions?”
“Very funny.”
“I’m serious.” He arched an eyebrow. “Are we done here?”
She fell silent, not conceding, but not pressing him for further answers, either. Turning her head, she stared into the fire with a thoughtful moue molding her mouth.
And though she didn’t push, her question nagged him. What did he fear? Probing questions, sure. No lie there. But, if he were honest with himself, something he supposed he could call fear had been an underlying stress in his life for months. He couldn’t escape the cloud of worry that... What? What was it exactly that haunted him?
“Loss,” he muttered aloud, surprising himself.
She met his gaze, her green eyes gentle and understanding.
He nodded, more certain of his answer. “Losing.”
She tipped her head a bit. “Competitions? Your identity?”
He dragged in a deep breath, analyzing the tension that had plagued him recently, despite the knot in his gut such soul-searching caused him. “That stuff bothers me but... I meant losing things I care about. Things...I love. People.” His voice sounded thick, and he cleared his throat. “The ranch.”
“Home and family.” She nodded. “I get that.” She bit her bottom lip. “Me, too. Especially since losing Sean. I know now how much it hurts.”
His hands tightened on her foot. He exhaled harshly. “Yeah.” He leveled a hard look at her. “Can we find a happy subject to discuss now?”
“Of course. Please!”
He quirked a half grin of relief at her and pushed her feet to the floor as he scooted to her.
She took his hand, wrapped her fingers around his. Squeezed. “Thank you. For sharing that with me.”
A warm, tingling sluiced through him from her touch, but it was completely unlike the erotic pleasure he’d experienced when she’d massaged his feet. This new sensation balled in his chest and stirred a tender ache, a fullness, a warmth in his chest. Sympathy? Compassion? Affection?
He considered it an achievement that he recognized the shift in his mood and the subtle changes in his attitude toward Erin. For him, that was enough, without analyzing the feeling
too carefully.
He saw her wince, frown, and he asked, “What?”
She tucked her foot under her as she moved to face him more fully. “I shouldn’t have gone off about Sean like that. I spoiled the mood. And we were having a nice evening, too.”
“Don’t apologize. I asked about your family. Blame me.”
“You couldn’t have known.” She toyed idly with a button on his shirt and gave her head a small shake. Raising her gaze, she infused her expression with forced cheer. “Anyway... I also have a younger sister. Kelly. She’s in grad school at Stanford. Bio-technology. She got the lion’s share of brains in our family.”
He acknowledged the tidbit with a nod. “So... Sean, Erin and Kelly. I’m guessing your family is Irish?”
She laughed, and the sound bubbled inside him like carbonation, lifting his mood. “Guilty. On my mom’s side. We kids were all named for maternal grandparents or great-aunts.”
He canted his head to the side. “And your dad’s family didn’t feel left out?”
“Hey, we’re all Palmers because of his side,” she said, chuckling. “He was happy with that.”
“And when you marry and change your last name?”
She gave him a haughty look. “Who says I’ll marry? Or that I’d change my name if I did?”
Zane blinked, more unsettled by her response than he could explain or wanted to admit. “You don’t plan to marry?”
She shrugged. “Who knows? I’m not opposed to marriage if the right guy comes along. I was just yanking your chain for assuming I would and that doing so automatically meant I’d change my name.”
“So you’re a feminist?”
“I didn’t say that, either.” She gave him a wry grin. “I’m just disputing your assumptions and clichéd generalizations.”
Zane sat taller and squared his shoulders. “Ouch.” Then twisting his mouth, he added, “And touché...”
He studied the spark that lit her eyes as she debated him, and he acknowledged that their conversation was invigorating. He liked the way she challenged him, not allowing him to get away with stale, lazy reasoning.
As he leaned toward her and brushed his lips against hers, all the reasons he’d had for caution with Erin and keeping his attraction to her in check fled on a wave of heat. Desire pounded through him, blinding him to everything except Erin.
Chapter 11
Zane needed her kiss, this moment. Needed to lay her down on the couch and feel her body pressed fully against his. He acted on the impulse, easing her back onto the cushions and wrapping himself around her as he nuzzled her neck and traced a tendon toward her shoulder.
She hummed her approval and lifted her chin to provide better access. Her legs hooked around his, and she arched her body in a way that made her hips grind against his groin. His body crackled and popped like the fire in the grate. He’d been celibate a long time, uninterested in empty one-night stands or hollow relationships based solely on sex.
At the corner of his brain, the question prodded him concerning what kind of relationship he thought he was starting with Erin. Was he recklessly dismissing his stance on casual sex for her? With firm resolve, he shut that line of thought down. He didn’t want to think or to analyze. When he was with Erin, all he wanted to do was to act, savor, steal a few moments of pleasure and escape.
He stroked his hands down the length of her body and reveled in the purr of contentment that rolled from her throat. Returning his lips to hers, he kissed her deeply, slowly, thoroughly. When she tugged at the back of his shirt, he paused from exploring her mouth only long enough to pull the tail of his Henley from his jeans. A jolt like an electric shock shot through him when she insinuated her hands under the fabric to stroke his skin.
Taking her lead, he fumbled with the top buttons of her blouse, exposing more of her creamy skin and a satin bra. The anticipation and fever in his blood built quickly as he explored more and more of her. The hollow of her throat, a bared shoulder, the swell of a breast...
“Zane...” she whispered breathlessly when he exposed a rosy nipple and covered it with his mouth.
He teased the taut bud with his tongue, and she gasped. Released a fluttering sigh. The pulse of her warm breath tickled his scalp, stirred his hair. And then her fingers were there, tunneling through his short-cropped hair, curling against his head and massaging the base of his skull as she writhed beneath him.
He wanted to be patient, to relish and take things slowly, but something wild and hungry inside him compelled him to hurry. A primal need to have her, to be inside her, to stake his claim to her clawed at him, and he became less careful as he tore at her clothes.
She tugged at his in return, and they stripped to panties and briefs in a frenzy of hands and kisses and moans of satisfaction.
He paused briefly to admire the glow of the firelight on her nakedness. “Beautiful...” he murmured. “You’re so beautiful, Erin.”
Instead of smiling, she furrowed her brow.
“What?” he asked, kissing the wrinkle at the bridge of her nose.
“I just—” She stopped abruptly, covering his hands with hers when he hooked his thumbs in the delicate material of her last piece of clothing. “Stop.”
He blinked, certain he’d heard her wrong in the frantic beat of desire that drummed in his ears. “Erin?”
She squeezed her eyes shut and pushed on his chest. “This...is a mistake. I can’t...” She huffed her dejection, and he felt the tension that drew her body tight. “We shouldn’t. I mean, I want to, but—”
Disappointment and frustration slapped hard as he levered away from her, but he heard her no and honored it. But it was damned difficult. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry. I want to. I want you, but I—”
“Is there someone else?” The idea soured his gut and filled him with a poisonous jealousy. “You told me earlier you weren’t dating anyone.”
“No, I’m not.” She shook her head as she sat up and pushed her arms in the sleeves of her blouse.
“Then what?”
“It’s just...sleeping with you would be...a conflict of interest.” She held the blouse closed over her bare breasts with one hand while she raked her curls away from her face with the other. “It’d be professionally out of line.”
He arched an eyebrow. He couldn’t say what answer he’d thought he might get, but her citing her journalistic standards was not at all what he’d expected. At the same time, he respected her wish to honor her professional ethics, her ability to place responsibility over personal pleasure.
He rolled to a seated position and swiped his shirt off the floor. “I understand.”
“Zane...” She wrapped her arms around herself, and she looked so vulnerable and sorrowful, his heart stuttered. “I didn’t mean to play the tease,” Erin whispered. “I’m sorry if—”
“No apologies needed.” He stood and stepped into his jeans, but couldn’t zip them up yet. His body was still too primed, too flushed with anticipation and heat. “Bad timing.”
She sat taller, her expression brightening slightly. “Yeah. Maybe when I finish, my...article...” She seemed to struggle with the word and glanced away, and it gave him pause. Clearing her throat, she continued. “Maybe later we could revisit...” She waved a hand between them.
His pulse gave a kick. He liked the idea of a later with Erin more than he should.
“Yeah,” he said, shoving his feet into his boots without his socks. “Maybe later.” He bent at the waist and kissed the top of her rumpled curls, trying not to think about how her hair had become so mussed. “Good night, Erin.”
“Wait!” She caught his wrist. “You don’t have to go just because—”
“Yeah, I do. It’s late. Rancher-late anyway.” He tugged free of her grip and jammed his hat on his head as he headed for the door. “I’ve got an early morni
ng tomorrow.”
“All right, then.” She heaved a sighed and bit her bottom lip as she sent him a wistful look from the couch. “Good night, Zane.”
He had to muster all his strength and conviction to turn and walk out. She looked so damn heartbroken and alluring as she lifted a hand to wave goodbye. But he tore himself away from the kiss-swollen pink lips and tumble of dark brown coils framing her face and stalked out into the frigid December night.
He blew into his hands to warm them as he walked across the ranch yard to his house. He knew what would keep him awake tonight. One word. Later.
* * *
Erin paid a visit to the family’s house the next morning to spend some time with Dave as he recouped after his surgery. Melissa met her at the front door, greeting her with warmth, welcome and an apology. “I’m afraid I haven’t been a good hostess to you. Between time at the hospital with Dave earlier in the week and a bunch of last-minute items I’m helping Kate with for the wedding...well, I don’t know some days if I’m coming or going!”
“Not a problem.” Erin hung her coat on the coat tree in the foyer and gave Melissa a dismissive shake of her head and a smile. “Zane and the rest of the family have been very accommodating. And the last thing I want to be, when you’re so busy, is in your way.”
Erin explained the purpose of her visit, and Melissa pressed a hand to her chest. “Oh, bless you! I know Dave’s felt cooped up, even though we’ve been trying to keep him company. This way.” She waved for Erin to follow her. As they started down the hall, Zeke and Sadie raced past them, the felines causing a surprisingly loud thundering of paws and claws on hardwood as they ran down the hall. Melissa pulled up short as the cats charged past, and Erin stumbled to a stop, narrowly avoiding tripping over the felines darting by.
“Holy cow!” Erin said, laughing. “That was... Wow.”
“Yes.” Melissa rolled her eyes. “The cats are best friends now, and they turn the hall into the Grand Prix daily, finishing with bouts of wrestling.”
No sooner had Melissa finished explaining than the cats raced back the other way and into the bedroom at the end of the hall. They heard an “Oof!” and an “Ow!” and Melissa hustled down to the door with a grimace. “Dave, are you all right?”
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