He snorted his disdain for her requirements. “You have some nerve. I’ll promise no such thing. You’ll be lucky if I don’t call the sheriff to investigate you!”
Her arms dropped to her sides, and her spine stiffened. “For what? Doing my job? That’s not a crime.”
“Your job?” Zane shook his head and curled up his lip. “You’re no travel writer.” He grabbed a handful of her notes and threw them at her. “And this is no promotional feature article on McCall Adventures.”
She drew a slow breath, her gaze holding his as she said calmly, “You’re right. I’m not a travel writer. There is no article. I’m sorry I lied to you.”
He shook his head, snarling softly, “Leave.”
“Zane, wait. Let me explain.”
He took a step toward her, his finger jabbed at her in accusation. “Get your things, and get the hell off our ranch.”
Although her eyes widened at his threatening gesture, she didn’t back down. “Will you give me a minute to explain? I’m here because your father asked me to come. He hired me to investigate the things that have been happening, the vandalism and murky accidents.”
Zane froze. His pulse thundered in his ears. “What?”
“I’m a private investigator, and your father hired me to get to the bottom of the sabotage. He didn’t know who he could trust, so he asked me to keep the truth about my work to myself for the time being.”
“My father told you to lie to me and my siblings? You want me to believe that my father didn’t trust his own family to know the truth?” He raised a hand and angled his head, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Assuming what you’re telling me is the truth and not another one of your lies.”
“Ask your father. He’ll tell you.”
“Oh, I plan to ask him. Meantime, pack up,” he said tightly. “I want you gone by tonight.”
She shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. “Maybe you didn’t hear me before when I said your father hired me. Only he can fire me. I leave when I finish my investigation or when he tells me to go. Not before.”
Zane jammed a hand through his hair and exhaled through his teeth. The ache in his chest grew sharper as all the implications of her confession came into focus. “Has anything you told me since we met been the truth? Or have the last few days been nothing but a giant false-fest for you?”
Her shoulders drooped. “Zane, I said I was sorry.”
“So it was all lies? Is that what you’re saying?” A sick feeling balled in his gut. Something heavier and more ominous than the dishonesty surrounding her reason for being there clawed his heart, choked him. “What about us? The kisses, the private talks? Was any of it real for you?”
Her throat worked as she swallowed. “Zane, please...”
“Was seducing me part of your plan to get information? Am I one of your suspects or just a tool to manipulate for the investigation?”
“It’s not like that,” she said, her voice thin and shaking.
She took a few tentative steps toward him, and, straightening his back, he held up his hand as if warning her away. Sharp, icy spikes stabbed his lungs as he said, “I trusted you.”
She huffed a humorless laugh. “Did you? Really?” She waved her hand toward the scattered papers. “The evidence would say otherwise.”
Her assertion twisted inside him. If he were honest with himself, he had clung to misgivings about her. But not over her truthfulness. His doubts had been regarding her feelings, his wariness over letting himself follow his heart with her or fight his attraction based on practicality. He’d opened himself to her, shared his pain and his fears, grieved with her over—
His pulse kicked. “What about the sob story you gave me about your brother dying? Was that true or a ploy to get me to open up to you?”
Her body went rigid, and the pain that filled her eyes told him immediately that he’d crossed a line. He had his answer even before she said through gritted teeth, “Although I have sobbed over the loss of him, my brother’s murder is no story.”
She took a step toward him, eyes narrowed. “It did, indeed, happen, and I took it upon myself to find the truth when the university and the fraternity conspired to protect chapter charters, alumni funding and their negligent asses over justice.”
Her eyes puddled with unshed tears. She aimed a trembling finger at him as she stalked closer. “I am what I am today because of Sean’s murder. I learned quickly that the world wasn’t fair, and no one handed you happiness. You have to fight for what is right. You have to find happiness in the moment, because tomorrow is never promised. You count your blessings rather than your troubles, and you never take the people you love for granted.” She poked him in the chest with her finger. Her face was flushed, and her eyes flashed with turbulent emotion. “That is my truth. My life. Sean’s legacy to me.”
Oh, yeah... Erin was thoroughly pissed at him and for good reason. He regretted his callous remark, yet the raw honesty of her response was as real as it got.
Real spoke to him. Real cut through the clutter. Real stirred a bittersweet ache in his chest that stole his breath.
He lost a huge piece of his heart to her in that moment. He was still mad as hell over her lies, still had to sort through this deception with his father, but her candor, her passion, moved him in a part of his soul he’d fiercely protected for most of his life.
And that scared the hell out of him.
Despite his head warning him about falling for someone he barely knew, someone who lived far away, someone with the potential to break his heart, the physical pull between them had won. His intrinsic attraction to her charm and intelligence, her warmth and beauty, her sass and humor had shouted down the voice of reason and caution. He’d already formed feelings for her, even in a few short days.
“Now, if you don’t mind,” she said tightly, “I’m freezing my ass off. I’m going to dress and dry my hair. You know the way out. Please use it.” She spun around and marched toward the hall to the bedrooms.
Jaw rigid, Zane stalked to the door and slammed it behind him as he left. His heart thrashed, and his gut was knotted. He had no idea where to start making sense of his feelings for Erin and her deception. But he definitely had some questions for his father.
* * *
Erin stared at the blinking cursor on her laptop screen. She’d intended to work most of the afternoon, reviewing her notes and planning who to interview next. But her mind, her heart, were not with her. She couldn’t get Zane’s betrayed expression out of her mind. Nor could she shake the feeling she’d lost something valuable this afternoon. An opportunity. A relationship with the potential to change her life. She hadn’t felt this despondent and at loose ends since she’d received the news of Sean’s death.
A knock on the guesthouse door interrupted her self-pitying musing. She scraped the chair back and hurried to answer it. Her pulse leaped when she found Zane waiting on the other side of the door, his hat literally in his hands. She was too emotionally exhausted to go another round with him and was prepared to send him away, but his hangdog expression stopped her.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
“The place belongs to you. I hear that means you can come in anytime you want.” She stood back and swept an arm toward the living room.
He scowled in response to her snark. “Erin...”
Remorse flooded her and she said, “I’m sorry,” at the same time he did.
He cracked a small grin. “See? No woo-woo involved. Sometimes you just speak at the same time as the other person.”
She shook her head. His lighthearted banter filled her with hope. “This doesn’t count. Josh says it happens all the time to you two. That’s woo-woo.”
He snorted his disagreement and stepped inside.
Erin closed the door against the blowing snow, and the room seemed somehow smaller with him there. She
felt a prickly heat crawl through her, and she lingered at the door, uncertain what to do next.
He remained silent for a long moment before murmuring, “I was wrong to snoop. I apologize.”
She nodded. “Forgiven.” Swallowing hard, she moved further into the room, stopping inches from him. The impulse to touch him was strong, but she curled her fingers into her palm, waiting to get a better read on his mood and where their relationship stood. “For what it’s worth, I hated every minute that I was lying to you. I don’t condone deceit, but your father was adamant. He didn’t know how far his circle of trust extended and decided that keeping his hiring me quiet was the best move in the long run.”
“That’s what he said, too.”
“So you talked to him.” She made it a statement more than a question, but he nodded in answer. She released a slow breath, holding his bright blue gaze. “Anyway...I am sorry that my part in it hurt you. I asked for your trust and was breaking it at the same time. That was...wrong. No matter how I justify it or what the reason.”
He gave a small nod, but his expression remained dubious. “Honesty is very important to me.”
“Me, too...actually.” She gave him a rueful smile. “Despite evidence to the contrary.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face as he exhaled harshly. “So...going forward—” he paused and a muscle in his jaw twitched as his penetrating gaze locked on hers “—we’re straightforward with each other?”
She did touch him then. She had to or she’d go nuts. Cupping her hand around his cheek, she nodded enthusiastically. “Yes. Please. I’d like nothing more.”
With a somber sigh, he curled his fingers around her palm and removed her hand. “While I can understand why you lied to me, can maybe even forgive it, that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten it.” His eyes were as cool as his tone. “Things have...changed for me.”
Erin dropped her hand to her side and stepped back. Pain, as if she’d been kicked by a bull, seized her chest. Had her promise to keep the terms Zane’s father had laid out for the job cost her Zane’s affection?
He cleared his throat and asked, “So, in your investigation, your interviews, have you found anything? Have you discovered anything we’ve missed?”
His demeanor was all-business. As if he hadn’t just pulled the rug out from under her. Hadn’t just shattered her newly formed feelings for him like an icicle fallen from the eaves. “Well...” The intensity of his gaze distracted her and, even in the face of his dismissal of her, stirred a pulsing heat in her core. She clenched her hands and glanced at her laptop to regain her train of thought, to loosen the squeeze of emotion in her throat. “Yes and no. You’re welcome to read my notes.”
“What do you mean yes and no? What have you learned?”
“Well, for starters...” She paused, feeling like a school tattletale. But uncovering ugly truths and reporting them to Michael was what she’d been hired to do. She’d convinced herself Zane was innocent of any wrongdoing, so what could it hurt to alert him to concerning issues around the ranch? Sighing, she blurted, “Roy is drinking again.”
Zane frowned. “What? Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure. I’ve smelled it when I was in the truck with him, when I was talking with him in close quarters. And I’m guessing that the whiskey I saw in those cabinets—” she aimed her thumb at the kitchenette “—and later disappeared, was his. Remember I couldn’t find it when we drank hot cocoa together a few nights ago?”
An odd combination of heat and regret passed over his countenance, and she knew exactly what he was remembering about that night, even before he whispered, “Hard to forget.”
“Zane, everything that happened that night was real for me. No lies, no deception. Just me and—”
He shot a hand up, stopping her. “I’ll look into Roy’s drinking. Thanks for the heads-up.” He shoved his hand back into his pocket. “What else have you found out?”
Clearly any further discussion of their feelings for each other was off the table. She’d cracked the hard shell Zane had created around his heart, but once wounded, he’d reinforced the layers of self-protection with concrete and steel.
Disappointment pinged her chest. Without meaning to or wanting to, had she burned her bridge with Zane?
She tucked a curl behind her ear, and the chill that seeped through her had as much to do with her lost connection to Zane as the draft in the cool guesthouse. She edged closer to her computer and straightened some of the paper files on the table. “I have a meeting set tonight with your dad to go over some of my notes. Why don’t you join us?”
He jerked a nod. “I will.”
She forced down the bubble of dejection filling her lungs and added, “The preview is that I’ve not found much. The most likely candidates by my estimation also have significant drawbacks.”
Her comment clearly piqued his interest. “For example?”
She waved a hand. “Gill Carver makes no bones about his dislike of you. He’s openly contemptuous but—”
“But he’s been too public with his animosity toward us.” He twisted his mouth, glumly. “You mentioned as much at the diner the other day.”
She shrugged. “I’m just saying it seems illogical. If he’s responsible for the sabotage, why would he draw attention to himself and his feud with you in public?”
“Point taken.” He rubbed his cheek, and the stubble on his chin made a quiet scratching noise against his palm.
She remembered the feel of that five-o’clock shadow on her fingertips, the gentle abrasion as they’d kissed. She longed to curl against him on the couch again, to kiss his stern mouth until he smiled, to savor the warmth of his body next to hers...
“Who else is a candidate in your book?” He folded his arms over his chest, his eyebrows dipping low in consternation. “Not anyone in the family.”
She shook her head. “Not that I can determine.”
He released a breath as if a weight had been lifted from him. “So who?”
“I haven’t talked to Karl Townsen yet. Dave seemed to think he was more angry over his firing than your father had led me to believe. He’s high on my list.”
Zane furrowed his brow and seemed to ruminate on that prospect for a while. “The sheriff’s talked to him already. He—”
“I know. I’m going over a lot of the same territory the sheriff’s department has covered. But I still want to talk to him. See what vibe I get. See if his story has changed. See what he says when he’s not talking to law enforcement.”
Zane nodded. “Okay. I’ll go with—”
“No.” She smiled to soften her argument. “Thank you, but...I have a car, and I really think he’ll be more open if you’re not there.”
He stared at her silently, his expression pained. She knew him well enough, even in their short acquaintance, to realize the shadows in his eyes were not because she’d rejected his accompanying her. The clouded-blue of his eyes bore into her heart. She hated knowing her deception was largely responsible for the hurt and distance between them.
Heaving a sigh, he shoved his hat on his head and turned for the door. “All right, then. Be careful. I’ll see you tonight. What time are you meeting with my dad?”
“Seven.”
With a nod, he opened the door and stepped out into the blowing snow. “See you at seven, then.”
Chapter 12
Erin’s interview with the fired hand proved fruitless. While he admitted having had some hard feelings about his firing, he corroborated Michael’s story of a severance payment and claimed to have no ill will toward his former employer.
“What can you tell me about the competing adventure tours company you helped with last summer?” she asked.
He snorted a laugh. “That was just sour grapes for Gill Carver. An in-your-face to the McCalls. I doubt it’ll run again next year. He lost money on the deal.
Only reason I helped was the extra cash he paid me.”
She twisted her mouth. “I see. Just how sour are Gill’s grapes? Could he be connected to the vandalism out at the Double M the last couple years?”
Karl shrugged, a wad of chewing tobacco making his cheek bulge. “I don’t know. Don’t wanna guess.” He gave her a hard look. “And before you get any ideas, I’ve told the sheriff everything I know about all that trouble. The vandalism started before I left, and I have solid alibis for everything that’s happened since I left.”
She raised both hands as if warding off an attack. “Hey, I didn’t ask.”
“But you were gonna. Weren’t you?” He gave her an irritated look.
She sighed. “Well...maybe in some form. You have nothing to add to what you’ve told the sheriff? Nothing that’ll help find the person responsible?”
He shrugged. “Nope. Frankly, I’m glad to be gone from the Double M. Michael’s a good man, but I don’t want to be on a sinking ship when all the lifeboats are gone.”
Erin’s heart squeezed. “And you think their lifeboats are gone?”
He shrugged again and spat tobacco on the ground. “Guess the auction later this week will determine that.”
* * *
Karl’s words haunted Erin as she watched the McCalls prepare to transport their heard to auction over the next few days. The tension level had ratcheted up as the date drew nearer and the family kept one eye on the weather forecast. Bad roads on their travel day could mean they missed their contracted sale date and money lost on the rental of the livestock trailer.
Zane stayed busy, helping bring the herd in from the fields, sorting out which cows would go to market, and seeing that all the ranch vehicles were properly prepped for the trip. Motel reservations near the sale barn, made weeks in advance, were double-checked and stock prices from other sales were monitored hourly.
“The whole year boils down to one paycheck from the price we get for our herd,” Michael explained when Erin asked about his obsession with current prices. The day before the men were scheduled to leave, she’d found Michael in his office with Sadie on the floor by his chair patting his arm to get his attention.
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