by Vanessa Fox
And when I couldn't think of a plan, I anticipated a fight. A blowup. The painful end of our relationship.
I guess that's why I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I was simply delaying the inevitable, trying to hold on to what we had for as long as possible. Trying to pretend that our love didn't have a fast approaching expiration date. Trying to pretend that the clock wasn't ticking down at a relentless pace, that our demise wasn't right around the corner, like a patient facing a terminal illness and given only a few months to live.
Part of me clung on to the hope that Kade would be happy for me and urge me to go. We'd enjoy the summer together, and in the fall we'd continue our relationship through phone calls, emails, and Skype. I'd visit him, and he'd visit me, whenever we could manage it, and our love would grow and blossom despite the distance and the years apart. We would survive because our love is strong and unbreakable.
But the more Kade talked about Georgia State, about his plans for us, and how excited he was… the more I realized that he had completely different plans for us in his mind. The news would crush him. And it did.
But what I didn't expect was for him to storm out of the house so quickly. He didn't let me explain. He wasn't even willing to have a conversation about it.
He just… left.
I guess our love isn't so unbreakable after all.
I hear the door to my bedroom creak. I already know it's my dad. He sits on the side of my bed and places a consoling hand on the lump under the covers.
"I'm sorry, Willow," he says gently.
I just sniffle.
"I know it's hard. A lot of couples go through this when they go to college. There's just no easy way around it."
He pats the covers.
"There will be other boys. Believe me, a pretty girl like you will have plenty to choose from. They say when one door closes, another opens. You might meet the love of your life at Harvard."
"The love of my life?!" I growl, tossing the covers off my tear-stained face. "Kade is the love of my life!"
My dad flinches. "I know, I know, sweetie. He is… right now. But you're young. It's hard for you to understand, but most teenage relationships aren't all that serious. People change and grow. That's why so few of them last."
I roll my eyes. "Dad, you are so full of shit!"
"Language, Willow!"
"Sorry. But seriously, dad. You met mom in high school and got married a week after graduation!"
My dad sighs. "I know, honey. But those were different times. Your mother and I were, well… for lack of a better term, stupid. We had no idea what we were doing, or what we wanted. Fortunately, it turned out okay for us. But I knew plenty of people who weren't so lucky."
"So?" I cross my arms and lean against the headboard. "Who says it couldn't work out for us? Why couldn't we last?"
"I don't know," he shrugs. "Maybe it could. If it's meant to happen, it'll happen. If it's not, then… it won't."
I bite my bottom lip. "But… Kade's not even willing to try."
"Then maybe it's not meant to be."
"But that's not fair. He won't even give it a chance."
"Honey, Kade has tunnel vision. He knows what he wants. He's got his life planned out already. He has a dream, an aspiration. And that's great. But so you do. If he's not willing to understand that, and to support your goals too, then maybe he doesn't deserve you."
I grit my teeth as I mull over my dad's words. I can't accept that Kade would toss everything away so quickly. Everything we've built together. He said he loved me. He said he wanted to be with me forever— no matter what! And now this? What's four years of separation when we've got our whole lives to spend together?
My dad rises and walks slowly to the door. Before leaving, he turns to me. "I think Kade just needs some time to process this. You should talk to him tonight. Really talk to him. And see if you can't work something out."
He steps out, but a second later he pops his head back in. "But, promise me that you will not let him convince you to stay. You are going to Harvard. Don't throw this opportunity away for some boy."
Some boy.
I guess that's all Kade is. Just some boy.
Kade
The party at Marcus' house is bouncing.
His parents are away for the weekend, and the entire house is filled with crowds of teenagers, classmates from our school as well as neighboring Aberdeen High. A varied playlist of rock and rap music is pumping from giant speakers, making the walls and furniture rattle from the deep bass.
I expect the police to be called at some point, but I don't give a shit.
Normally at a party like this, I'd be having the time of my life. Drinking, dancing, playing beer pong, wrestling with my teammates, jumping into the pool with my clothes on.
I tend to get a little rowdy at these affairs.
But tonight I'm just drinking. Sitting on Marcus' bean bag chair in the basement, sipping my rum and Coke. Silent.
Countless people have come up to me to ask if I'm all right. I just nod and wave them away listlessly.
I don't feel like talking right now.
All I'm concerned about is drinking the pain away. Filling my brain with chemicals and my ears with frantic music, making it all but impossible to think. Because as soon as I start thinking, my mind immediately drifts to her… and that's more than I can take right now.
"Kade!" I hear a familiar voice squeal, barely audible above the blaring top 40 hit blasting from the speaker above my head.
I groan internally as I spot Lacey Peterson making her way towards me. She grins and waves.
"Oh Kade, I didn't even know you were here tonight!"
She bounces to me and takes my hand, trying to drag me to my feet. "Come on, let's dance!"
I shake my head. "No thanks."
She juts out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. "Aww, come on, Kade."
I glance up at her. She's the epitome of bubblegum, with long blond hair, glittery pink eyeshadow and shiny pink lips. Her disproportionately huge boobs pop out of a low-cut blouse, and the bottom curve of her ass hangs out of her tight white jean shorts.
The sight of her used to drive me wild. One weekend at a party just like this one, I took her somewhere private, made out with her and ran my hands all over her ridiculously curvy body.
It was a weekend before my life changed. Before… her.
I think Lacey always expected something more. Every time she saw me she'd grin and wave, cock her head and scrunch her face up in the cutesy way she does. Flirting, hinting.
I just brushed her off. She always glared when she saw me walking hand in hand down the hall with Willow.
But tonight her eyes look wide and hopeful and mischievous. She must know what happened, and she's gonna use this opportunity to swoop in.
"Aw poor baby, you can't mope all night," she coos. "I wanna make you feel better."
"No thanks."
Unfortunately for her, I have no interest. Her slutty get-up doesn't look enticing, it just looks silly. Willow has set the bar so high for me. None of these other girls can possibly compare.
Lacey puts her hands on her hips and scowls playfully. "Come on, don't be like that. It's okay. Talk to me. I'm here for you."
"Actually, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be left alone."
Her face falters, and she looks hurt. She puts her hand on her chest. "I'm sorry, Kade. I'm really sorry."
"Yeah, whatever."
I finish off my drink with a big chug. Lacey takes the empty red plastic cup from my hand and places it on the table before taking both my hands in hers. She tries to pull me to my feet, but it's not working.
"Come on, one dance, Kade," she pushes. "I'm not gonna take no for an answer."
I shake my head. "I'm really not in the mood, Lacey."
"Come… on!" She huffs and puffs as she tries with all her might to pull me to my feet. But her heels slip and she stumbles forward on top of me.
"Woah, you o
kay?" I ask.
She buries her head in my neck and starts to giggle. "Sorry Kade, I'm sooooo clumsy! And, um, maybe a little drunk!"
I try to push her off, but she settles on my lap and nuzzles in, gripping tight onto my shirt.
I roll my eyes. The old Kade Hughes would've loved to have a hot busty drunk girl on his lap. But right now it's not fun. It's not sexy or endearing. It's just obnoxious.
It starts to dawn on me that maybe I shouldn't be at a party packed with teammates and friends and girls with crushes on me if I want to be left alone. Most of my friends politely left me to my devices when I told them to, but there's no way inebriated Lacey will listen. She'll follow me around all night and smother me with her sickeningly sweet bubblegum presence.
"Well, thanks for the cuddle, Lace, but I gotta head home," I say, patting her gingerly on the back.
"Aww, whyyyyy?" Her high-pitched voice grates on my nerves.
She turns her head towards me, her pink lips pouting. "Don't leave, Kade!"
She caresses my cheek with her hand and leans in. Before I have time to react, her lips are on mine.
I grunt in objection and start to push her away, but for some reason she takes this as an invitation to jam her tongue down my throat.
Finally I succeed in getting her off me. I rise to my feet with a deep sigh as Lacey giggles.
"Jesus, Lacey," I huff.
"Oh, look!" Lacey points somewhere behind me. "Uh-ohhhhhhh…"
I turn and my stomach drops.
Willow Greene stands across the room, her eyes wide, her jaw dropped.
"Willow!" I call out.
She turns and bolts. I chase after her, weaving through the crowd of bodies. For a moment I almost think I lost her, but then I see her running out the front door.
I pick up the pace and follow her onto the lawn, my head swimming from the alcohol and the adrenaline rushing through my veins.
"Willow, stop!"
"Leave me alone!" she cries.
I grab her arm and turn her around to face me. "It's not what it looks like, Willow!"
Her eyes are red and brimming with tears.
"I swear, I didn't mean for any of that to happen," my words fumble. "She practically jumped me! I was trying to push her off."
Willow shakes her head bitterly. "You're not who I thought you were, Kade."
"Willow…"
"Don't worry. You're free. You can make out with whoever you want now."
She tears herself from my grip and marches off.
I don't know what to say. My mind is jumbled from the booze and I'm in a state of shock over what's happening. "Willow, please! Just talk to me! We can work this out!"
Without turning to face me, she says sternly, "Never speak to me again, Kade Hughes."
I feel the world closing in around me. I feel helpless as I watch her walk away. Part of me wants to chase her, grab her hand and take her into my embrace, kiss her and tell her I love her and that I will make this work. But I know she won't accept it.
Not after seeing me with another girl. The ultimate betrayal.
I slump down to my knees and drunkenly hang my head.
It's over.
Willow Greene is gone and I will never get her back.
Chapter 5
FIVE YEARS LATER
Willow
"Dammit!" I yelp as the curling iron singes my ear.
I wince as I look at myself in the mirror. The lock of hair I was trying to curl looks kinked. And now my ear is red. Fantastic.
"Ugh," I groan as I finger another section of hair and wrap it around the curler. This one better curl properly. I'm running out of time!
I release the hair from the curler and like the one before, it's kinked.
"Shit!"
I put the curling iron down and scowl at myself in the mirror. My makeup looks shoddy and caked on. My hair's a mess. My blouse is a little bit wrinkled and I know I won't have time to iron it.
All I'm trying to do is look nice for my first day of work at the Cooper Foundation. But as usual, every time I try to present myself well, I screw it up.
I should've spent less time with my nose in a book as a teenager and more time learning the fine art of make-up, hair, and fashion.
"You need some help?" Katie pokes her head into the bathroom and winces when she sees me. "Girl, you're a hot mess."
"I know. I suck at this."
"You're not going to the ball, you know. You don't have to look fancy."
"I realize that. But I want to make a good impression, you know?"
"I know." Katie waltzes in and grabs the curling iron from my hand. "First of all, curling irons are old-fashioned."
She unplugs it and places it on the toilet before grabbing her hair straightener from the shelf. "Straighten those curls out with this. Next time you want to try curls, you can use the straightening iron for that, too. Let me know and I'll teach you how."
"You can curl with a straightening iron?"
Katie cocks her eyebrow. "Uh, yeah."
"I never would've guessed."
She shakes her head and laughs. "You're hopeless, you know that?"
"Don't remind me."
"Hey, it's all right. We've all got our strengths and weaknesses."
She eyes my blouse critically as she tucks a strand of long, jet black hair behind her ear. "Hm… nah, this won't do. I've got a blouse I think will look great on you. Let me grab it."
I nod as she walks out. Thank God for Katie. I don't know what I'd do without her.
I plug in the straightening iron and tap my foot as I wait for it to heat up. It seems like it's taking forever.
And Katie's taking her sweet time, too.
"Katie!" I shout. "I need that shirt!"
No response.
Curious, I walk out of the bathroom to see her standing in the living room staring at the TV.
"Come on, Katie, I have to go in five minutes. Where's that blouse you were talking about?"
Without looking at me, Katie holds up her hand. "Willow, what was the name of your ex-boyfriend again? The athlete?"
I huff as I march over to the TV. "Katie, I don't have time for—"
There's some sort of ceremony happening on TV. The audience cheers as a man sitting in one of the front rows stands. He hugs and shakes hands with a bunch of people as he walks to a podium to speak. The camera zeros in on him. He's tall and built, wearing a dark blue tailored suit. A mane of fashionably shaggy dirty blond hair frames a handsome, manly face with a hard-set jaw and piercing green eyes.
I gasp.
"Georgia State alumni, one time Rose bowl champion and Heisman trophy winner Kade Hughes has been selected as the Atlanta Alpha's first round draft pick for quarterback," the news anchor's voice announces over the video. "Analysts had predicted Hughes as a shoe in to replace retired QB Brock Crawford."
On the video, Kade speaks. "I'd like to thank the league for this opportunity! It's been my dream to play for this team since I was eight years old."
His voice is deep and bassy, with that same endearing Georgia twang that I remember.
"I just wanna thank my family, my mom and dad for supporting me. I want to thank Georgia State and all my teammates— GO CHARGERS!— and of course, I couldn't do this without the support of my girlfriend, Samantha!"
The camera pans over to a strikingly beautiful red-headed woman sitting in the audience, who is smiling proudly with tears in her eyes. She has the angular, perfectly symmetrical face of a supermodel, but her facial beauty is overshadowed by the massive boobs popping out of her very small, very tight strapless dress.
"I love you, baby," Kade says.
The audience erupts into cheers as he makes his way off the stage.
"That's… that's him, isn't it?" Katie asks me, her eyes wide.
I clear my throat, but it's not enough to clear the sudden hoarseness that's appeared out of nowhere. "Um, yeah. That's him."
"Oh. My. GOD. I can't believe you actually d
ated him!"
I roll my eyes. "Well, it wasn't much of anything. Just a few months in high school. I barely remember it, honestly."
Katie gives me a look that says "that's bullshit".
She knows me well. Too well. It's annoying, really.
I turn away quickly. "Well, I have to get ready. Are you still gonna get that blouse for me, or what?"
"Why don't you ever talk about him?" Katie asks. "I want to know everything!"
I shrug as I walk back towards the bathroom. "There's nothing to talk about. It wasn't much of anything."
Katie is at my back, and there's a giddy bounce to her step. "But he took your V card, right?!"
"What?!"
"Well he must have, because you said that Randall wasn't your—"
"Whatever, Katie. We'll talk about this later. Will you please get my damn shirt?!"
Katie puts her hand on her hip and cocks her head. "Fine. But we will talk about this. Tonight, after work. We'll make it a date. Sushi, beer, and loose lips. I want to know every detail."
I roll my eyes. "Whatever you say, Kate."
She leaves to get my shirt as I straighten the gimpy curls out of my hair.
My hand is shaking. My heart is beating wildly out of my chest. And my throat suddenly feels parched.
I haven't seen Kade Hughes since I left for Harvard. I've heard whispers of his name here and there, enough to know that he became a big college football star at Georgia U. But I've stayed far away from the sports scene, and never made any attempts to follow up on his life.
Yet after all that, now he's here. Right on my television screen. And now that I've moved back to Georgia, he's probably gonna become a household name. If he isn't one already, that is.
I stare intently into my own blue eyes in the mirror.
It's fine, really.
I'm happy for him.
He's famous, rich, and successful! And look at that gorgeous supermodel girlfriend of his.
Good for him.
Really.
Good for—
"You okay?" Katie asks me, her eyebrow cocked.
"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine."
She gingerly hands me a peach-colored blouse. "Here you go."
