by Lizzie James
She turned, narrowing her eyes and her lip curling at me in disgust. “She never showed up.” Her eyes flickered down and back up. “Not that I’m surprised.”
“I didn’t cheat on her,” I replied, trying to reason with her. “I would never do that to her.” I swallowed, trying not to let the anger coursing through me get me into any more trouble. “I’m crazy about her, Bex.”
“Whatever.” She walked past me, obviously refusing to help me. “If you want to see her, you should know where she is.” She walked into the building, leaving me.
I turned around, heading straight home. Knocking on Joy’s door, I waited for an answer. I didn’t want to just walk straight in like I normally would, if she was pissed at me.
Joy answered the door, smiling up at me. “Johnny! Is everything okay?”
She looked far too happy to see me if Tillie had seen those photos. She should be ready to hit me.
“Is Tillie here?” I frowned, completely screwed. If Tillie wasn’t there, then where the hell would she go?
“No.” Joy frowned, worry creasing her eyes. “She should be at school.”
I nodded, trying to think of an easy lie I could pass off as the truth. “She probably is. I thought she said she had a free lesson, but I must have misheard her.” I grinned, trying to look relaxed.
She smiled, nodding. “I’ll tell her you stopped by.”
I nodded, turning around and leaving. Stopping outside her house, I looked up and down the street. Turning left, I headed away from campus, determined to find her.
Walking several blocks, I looked up and down every side street and every shop window. She was nowhere in sight. Jogging across the street, I spotted the skate park that Sammy liked to hang out at. Walking through the gate, I spotted Sammy sitting by a large oak tree. He got up and jogged across to me.
“Have you seen Tillie?” I asked, desperation in my tone.
“Dude, what happened?” He looked stressed. I wasn’t sure if it was for me or because of me. “How could you do that to Tillie?”
“I didn’t!” I yelled.
His eyes widened at my tone and he took a step back.
I sighed, taking a deep breath. Trying not to take my unused anger out on him.
“After training last night, I walked Tillie home. I then walked inside the house, went upstairs and that’s where I found Lucy. That’s when I tossed her out of my bed and threw her out of the house.” I sighed, looking down. “I’ve lost her, man.” I had never been this hung up on a girl before. Tillie had quickly become everything to me. I wasn’t ready for this to be over.
Sammy looked behind him and nodded, which confused the hell out of me. He stepped aside and there she was. She was so tiny that she could hide behind Sammy perfectly.
“Tillie…” I was shocked. She was there. I looked at Sammy and he gave me a small smile.
“I’ll leave you guys alone.” He looked down at Tillie, who gave him a small nod.
“Thank you, Sammy.” She took hold of his hand, squeezing gently before letting go.
He nodded, giving me a comforting pat on the shoulder before leaving us alone.
I took a step forward, wanting to hold her.
She responded by taking a step away from me. She looked scared.
I could handle scared, but I couldn’t handle her looking at me like I was the monster beneath her bed. Her cheeks were red and blotchy. She had been crying. She fiddled with the ends of her sleeves, pulling them down until they were basically covering her hands.
“Did you mean what you said to Sammy?” she asked, whispering. Her eyes rose to meet mine. “Or were you lying?” Her eyes slowly filled with unshed tears.
“I wasn’t lying.” I shook my head, at a loss of what to say. “I promise. Nothing happened.” I stared down at her, needing her to believe me. Walking away from here without her wasn’t an option. She was leaving with me. There was no other way. “Lucy is a bitch and will always be a bitch. She wants me. I don’t want her.” I stepped forward until I was closer. Taking her face in my hands, I quickly rubbed away the few tears that leaked from her beautiful Bambi eyes with my thumbs. “The girl I want is here. Right in front of me. No other.”
She shook her head, stepping away from me. “I don’t believe you,” she whispered. “You hurt me, Johnny.”
I growled, stepping forward and pinning her against the tree behind her.
She squeaked in surprise, shocked at my actions.
I slid my hands down her back until I could grasp her ass cheeks and hoisted her up. My hands trailed down to the back of her thighs and wrapped them around my waist. I turned her head up toward me and slammed my lips down on hers. She gasped, allowing me to thrust my tongue inside to dance with hers. I pressed against her, feeling her breasts against my chest.
I groaned, kissing her rougher. I always tried to be calm and gentle with Tillie, but she was fucking frying my nerves. I know I made shit look easy but being with her—and only her—wasn’t fucking easy. No women meant I was frustrated all the fucking time. My punch bag had been taking most of the tension coursing through my body. If she thought I was going to walk away and leave her, she obviously didn’t know me very fucking well.
I groaned, rocking my hips against hers. The feel of her luscious body against mine was making me as hard as a rock. My cock was doing a happy dance at the thought of doing anything sexual with Tillie. I pulled my lips away from hers.
“Do you feel that?” I rocked my hips against her, once more. I groaned at how warm she felt between her legs. “Feel it?” I asked.
She gasped, nodding her head like an enthusiastic kid at a candy store. Her lips were red and swollen from the force of our kiss.
“That’s for you,” I whispered. I dropped my head, resting my forehead against hers. “I promise, Tillie. I have never and will never be unfaithful to you. I am with you and only you.”
“I’m not ready to be…” she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. “I’m not ready to have sex with you.”
“Then we’ll wait,” I whispered. I rubbed my nose against hers, making her smile a little. “I’m yours, whether it involves sex or not. When you’re ready, I’ll be here.”
Her fingers entwined in the curls at the back of my head. “Promise?” she asked, looking vulnerable. She had hope in her voice, but she still looked scared.
“I promise.”
She nodded, bringing her lips back to mine.
9
Tillie
Resting my head against the tree behind me, I ran my fingers up and down the column of his neck. He looked like he was telling the truth. He turned his head and pressed a kiss against my wrist. Tingles shot up my arm, making me shiver.
“Will you come home with me?” He asked, tucking some loose strands behind my ears. “Maybe we can talk some more?”
I nodded my head. “That would be nice.”
He unwrapped my legs, lowering me to the ground. Taking my hand, we silently walked back to his house and headed up to his room. He sat me on the bed before sliding his computer chair over and sitting opposite me. He parted his legs, putting them on either side of mine and taking my hands, resting them on my thighs.
“Can we talk about something else?” He looked at me cautiously.
I frowned, wondering what he would have to be cautious about. I nodded, trying to give him a smile.
“Can I ask...” He straightened up, looking uncomfortable before taking a deep breath. “Is there a reason why you pull away from me? Sexually?”
With that one word, I froze. I tucked my knees up on the bed and shimmied back so that I was leaning against his headboard.
He frowned at me, probably thinking I was putting distance between us but I wasn’t. I just needed...
Fuck, he was right.
I needed some distance if he wanted to have this conversation now.
“When I was fourteen, I got into a little trouble.” I stared at his doorway, not able t
o handle looking at him at the same time. “I was out with some friends and my mom was supposed to pick me up, like she did every night.” I smiled at the memory of her, still missing her vanilla scent. I shook my head, trying to clear it. “Anyway, one night she never came. I was waiting and there was still no sign of her.” My eyes watered and I quickly wiped them, determined not to get emotional. “A police car with flashing lights pulled up and took me home. I asked where my mom was, and they told me that my father would explain when I got home.”
Johnny leaned over, taking hold of my hand. I entwined my fingers with his, appreciating the comfort he was offering me.
“I got home, and my mom wasn’t there. My dad explained to me that she had left home at the normal time but...” I was trying to stay calm—to recite the facts to Johnny the best way I could—but, I couldn’t. She was my mom and she was more than just a fact. “She had been raped and beaten. Her car had broken down and she was walking to meet me.” I held my breath, trying to keep the building sob in. I didn’t want to break down in front of Johnny. “She had several knife wounds and died before the ambulance arrived.” I sobbed, holding my hand over my mouth to try and keep the noise at a minimum. It didn’t work, however. Seconds later, I was sobbing into my knees like a pathetic, dramatic mess.
I felt Johnny move toward me and pick me up. He sat on the end of the bed, placing me on his lap. I didn’t hesitate in wrapping my arms around his neck and sobbed into his chest. I expected him to push me away when I told him about my mother’s death, or just leave me alone. He never did. He rocked me gently, rubbing my back soothingly and pressing soft kisses to the top of my head.
I don’t know how long I stayed sitting on his lap, cuddled in his strong arms with my head resting on his chest. I looked at his shirt, rubbing the wet patch I had left on it.
“You have ruined my shirt,” he joked, looking down at where I was rubbing.
I giggled, resting my head back in its place on his chest.
“So,” he started, sounding nervous. “That’s why you’re afraid to be intimate with me.”
I nodded. “Ever since then, I’ve been skittish around boys. I’m good at being friends with them but sex...” I blew out a deep breath, “It scares me.”
“That’s understandable, Till.” He pressed another kiss to my forehead. “But you know I won’t hurt you. Right?”
I hated that he sounded so unsure. I hated that I was widening the crater that was between us, but I just couldn’t be like Lucy. I don’t think I could ever be as sexually confident as she appeared to be. I nodded, pulling my head away to look up at him. “I’m sorry.”
“You know I would never hurt you like that?” he asked. He had a look of warmth on his face.
I basked in it. I knew he would never hurt me. Trusting he would never hurt me was a different question, though. “I do.” I frowned, staring at his collarbones. “I just need to move slower than…”
“Than Lucy?” he asked, cocking his eyebrow at me.
I nodded. At least he knew what was making my insecurities worse.
“Just promise me, that if the time comes where you don’t want me—where you’d be happier with someone like Lucy—just tell me.” I threaded my fingers into the back of his hair, massaging his scalp. “Don’t string me along.”
He smirked, leaning his face closer to mine before standing abruptly, taking me with him and making me shriek. He turned around and dropped me on the bed, unceremoniously.
I giggled, bouncing a few times on the springs before he lay down next to me. He grinned, leaning his head down and moulding his lips to mine. I parted my lips, moving my tongue against his. I hummed at his taste, holding myself against him.
He pulled away, smiling down at me. “Does that feel like I would prefer to be with that brainless bimbo?” He cocked his eyebrow at me.
I shook my head, allowing him to pull me toward him. My head settled on his chest, feeling the pulse of his heartbeat through his chest. I sighed, feeling lighter than I had done in a long time.
I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes, we were still in our spots, but Johnny was holding a piece of paper in his hands, his eyes flicking over it.
“What’s that?” I whispered.
He smiled, dropping the paper on the floor, wrapping me in both of his arms. “Just some presentation pointers.” He smiled down at me. “I have to go and get ready for practice.”
I nodded, letting him go. He grabbed his bag and held his hand out for mine. I gave him a quick kiss before walking over to Joy’s. I took a seat next to her, laying my head in her lap. She slid her fingers into my hair and began smoothing my hair down. I closed my eyes, feeling relaxed.
“That feels nice,” I whispered. My mother used to do it when I was a little girl. I remember it used to relax me so much, I’d usually end up falling asleep.
“Johnny was here earlier,” she said. “Did he find you?”
I nodded, staring at the wall on the floor.
“Is everything okay, my sweet?”
I smiled, tearing up at her nickname for me.
“You didn’t seem very happy before you left for school.”
“I wasn’t.” I sat up, crossing my legs and facing her. “Johnny has a few... issues.” I opened my mouth to tell her more when the doorbell rang. I groaned, going to answer it.
“Bex!” I was surprised she was there. “Come in.”
She stepped over the threshold, walking straight past me and going in to the lounge. I chuckled when she took my spot next to Joy, grinning at me.
“Make yourself at home,” I mocked, taking a seat in the armchair.
She laughed, kicking her shoes off and tucking her legs beneath her ass.
“I’m Bex.” She held her hand out to Joy. “I’m Tillie’s bestie from school.”
“I like you.” Joy wrapped her arm around Bex, both laughing at the action.
“Johnny was looking for you,” Bex said, turning her head in my direction. “Did you guys have a chance to talk about the Lucy drama?”
I widened my eyes at her. I really did not want to have this conversation in front of Joy. Joy’s head flickered between Bex and me before Bex gave in and rolled her eyes.
She dug through her bag and grinned, pulling a bottle of wine out with a cheeky glint in her eye.
“I’ll get the glasses,” Joy chuckled, getting up and walking to the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” I widened my eyes at Bex, waiting for her to get the message.
“What?” She rolled her eyes at me. “I’m dying to know the goss.”
“Yeah but…” I stopped talking when Joy shuffled back into the room.
“Now, fill me in ladies.” She set the glasses on the table, taking the bottle off Bex and popping the cork. “What has that boy done?”
I laughed at her no-nonsense tone. I shuffled on my bum so that I was closer to the coffee table. Picking my glass up, I raised it and waited for them to clink their glasses to mine. Taking a sip, I hummed at how fruity it was.
“So, fill us in. What did the idiot do?” Bex asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.
I rolled my eyes in response. The girl would not shut up. “Basically,” I said, my eyes turning to Joy, “pictures were plastered all over social media and in text messages of Lucy and Johnny together in his room last night.”
“Oh dear.” She had a disappointed look on her face.
“But…” I interjected, my eyes going to Bex. “It wasn’t true. She was in his room, but he threw her out.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Do you believe him?” Bex asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.
“Yes.” I nodded my head. “I trust him. I think.”
Bex shrugged her shoulders dismissively.
“Who’s Lucy?” Joy asked.
“She’s a cheerleader bitch who thinks she owns the college. She probably thinks the most popular girl should obviously be with the most popular guy.” Bex rolled her eyes in disgust.
&n
bsp; “He’s a good boy, though,” Joy interjected. “He’s a good one, especially to that brother of his.”
I smiled at the look of adoration she always wore on her face when talking about those boys.
A couple of hours later, I was lying on my back, laughing at the Simpsons impressions Bex was doing. This girl was a pro. She obviously loved the Simpsons a bit too much. She could do Ned Flanders perfectly, even when tipsy.
I turned to the side and grabbed my phone: six missed calls—all from Johnny.
There was a knock on the door and Joy quickly went to answer it, leaving me laughing at Bex’s Mr. Burns impression. She was going to make her future mister crazy.
“Hello, boys,” Joy greeted her visitors. “She’s right in there.”
I grinned when Johnny crossed her threshold, his eyes landing right on me. He was followed by Logan, who was wrapped in his coat and scarf and rubbing his hands together to ward off the chill. His eyes went to the three empty wine bottles on the coffee table before back to me with a smirk on his face.
Holy crap! When did we get through those? No wonder I was feeling all giggly.
“Hey, you.” Johnny stood over me, smiling down at me. “We had too much to drink?”
I shook my head, looking up at him. He leaned down, taking my hands in his and pulling me to my feet.
“I’m going to take off,” Bex said, getting to her feet, too. “Why don’t you let lover boy tuck you in?” She waggled her eyebrows mockingly. “And you,” she pointed at Logan, “can walk my drunken ass home.”
“After you, darling.” He gave me a cheeky wink before following Bex out of the door.
“Mind if I take her up?” Johnny asked, directing his question to Joy. He picked me up in his arms, walking past Joy.
“Of course not, sweet boy.” She stepped aside, watching him carry me up the stairs.
I waved at her, only now realizing how many glasses I’d had when I saw dual figures of Joy standing there. As we walked through my door, I tightened my arms around his neck. He leaned down, placing me on my bed.
