by Melody Grace
I clench my hands into fists at my sides. Down, girl!
Blake is frowning.
“Is there a problem?” I ask.
He doesn’t reply, instead calling across to Dash. “Since when does my character ride horses?”
“Since I had a breakthrough.” Dash grins, strolling over. “You at the ranch, a whole montage, rugged man and nature shit. Why?”
“I’ve never been on a horse before in my life.” Blake looks grim. “Can we work around? Maybe I just carry some hay bales or something?”
“No, no, that won’t work.” Dash looks distressed now. “I had the whole sequence planned. Wide shot, tracking you as you gallop across the field?”
“Sorry, man, but it’s not going to look so rugged when I fall flat on my ass.” Blake gives a rueful shrug.
“I can teach you.”
The words are out of my mouth before I realize what I’m saying. They both turn.
“I didn’t know you could ride.” Blake looks surprised.
“Boarding school,” I shrug. “They packed us off every weekend. I can’t do much on short notice,” I add to Dash, my mind racing. “But we could do the basics. Make sure he seems comfortable, at least.”
“You’re a lifesaver.” Dash grins, then sweeps me up in a hug. He sets me down, that boyish enthusiasm back all over again. “You guys spend tomorrow working it out. There’s a ranch here in town that’s letting us film, you can do it there. Now, where’s Lila?” he bounces to the next subject, looking around. “Lila, darlin’? Where’s my gorgeous girl?”
Dash strides away, leaving me with Blake. “You think an afternoon lesson is enough to pass?” he asks, looking dubious.
I smile. Anything that forces us to spend more time together is just fine with me. “Have a little faith,” I tell him, grinning. “One afternoon could change everything.”
The next morning, bright and early, my confidence isn’t burning so hot.
“Try not to look scared,” I call across to Blake. He’s mounted on a gentle mare, walking slowly around the paddock, but still, he looks totally tense and terrified. “Relax,” I urge him, sitting up on the fence. “They can smell fear.”
“Really?” He grips the reins tighter.
I laugh. “No, but the camera can. Come on, she’s like, eighty years old. You can loosen your grip a little, she’s not going to bolt.”
Blake gingerly releases the reins an inch. “Good,” I say encouragingly. “Now, sit up a little straighter, and try to move with the motion of her strides. That’s it!”
Blake’s horse walks slowly in another circle.
“Wow, he’s really bad at this.”
There’s laughter behind me. I turn. Tegan is walking down from the main ranch house with another girl. “You remember Brit, right?” she asks. “Ryland’s sister. You guys met at the party.”
“Hey.” I smile at Tegan’s future sister-in-law. “Good to see you again. You live here, right? Thanks for letting us take over for the filming.”
“Are you kidding?” Brit grins. She’s a petite, dark-haired girl in her early twenties, dressed in a funky vintage knit dress and cowboy boots. “This is so cool, I’m not even going to pretend to be all breezy about it.”
I giggle. “You should have seen me on the first day of filming,” I confide, as Brit and Tegan climb up to sit beside me on the fence. “I was like a little kid loose in the candy store.”
“She’s always been obsessed with movies and Hollywood,” Tegan agrees. “At school, she was always sneaking out of bed late to go watch TV in the common room.”
“So what’s it like?” Brit asks. “Seeing how the magic is made?”
“Good and bad,” I reply. “I never realized how much work went into a single minute of footage. I won’t watch anything the same way again. All of this is just for a few shots,” I nod to where Blake is still walking his horse in slow circles around the paddock. “It’ll be over in the blink of an eye.”
He sees us talking and calls over. “If you ladies have finished gossiping, mind helping me out? I’m guessing Dash doesn’t want me going two miles an hour out on the range.”
“We can try a trot, if you’re up for it,” I call back.
He grimaces. “Do I have a choice?”
“Awww,” Tegan teases him loudly. “You’ve got to suffer for your art, big brother!”
He flips his middle finger. We laugh.
“OK, OK,” I agree. “Let out the reins a little and give her a nudge with your heels.”
Blake follows my instructions, and the old mare breaks into a slow, lumbering trot. He bounces uncomfortably in the saddle.
“This is just painful.” Tegan sounds gleeful, watching him.
I shake my head. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so out of place,” I realize. “He’s always the cool one, you know? Totally at ease in every situation.”
It’s part of why I admired him so much. I longed to have that same confidence, be able to walk into a room the way he does, and have everyone on my side.
“Wait a minute, I have to show Dex and Ash.” Tegan lifts her cellphone and starts recording video.
“I’m going to kill you guys,” Blake swears through gritted teeth as he bounces past.
“Find the rhythm,” I call encouragingly. “Just rock right through it.”
I feel bad for him. He’s trying out there, but he looks like he’d rather be anywhere else on earth—and that’s before the camera crew show up tomorrow to immortalize his failure on film. I think hard. “Maybe we should just skip the trotting and go straight to a canter,” I tell him on his next circuit past.
Blake yanks the reins and comes to a stop. “You want me to go faster?”
Tegan and Brit laugh, so I slip down from the fence and walk over to him, out of earshot. “It’s a piece of cake, I promise,” I soothe him, taking the bridle and gently patting the horse’s nose. “It’s even easier than this because you’re not bouncing around. That’s what Dash wants, anyway: you riding fast across the fields.”
“You don’t have to pretend, I know I suck.” Blake looks frustrated. “We may as well call it a day. I’m wasting your time right now, this is never going to happen.”
I look up at him. He hates this. Not the riding part, but not being able to do something. As long as I’ve known him, I’ve never seen Blake struggle. Sure, the audition circuit wore him down, but that was about luck: being in the right place at the right time. But everything else came easy to him. He’s always been able to flash that smile and have the world fall at his feet—until now.
“Wow, you really can’t deal with failure, can you?” I tease.
Blake frowns. “What?”
“This, not being good at something,” I gesture around. “You’ve spent barely an hour sucking, and already you want to quit.”
“I’m not a quitter.” Blake glares at me.
“So go ahead and prove it,” I smile. “Canter.”
A smile starts to play on the corner of his lips. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing here,” he warns me.
“What am I doing?” I give him an innocent grin.
“Reverse psychology, or whatever this is,” Blake declares. “You think you can goad me into trying harder?”
“It’s working, isn’t it?” I smile. “I mean, either that, or you have to live with being a big fat quitter.”
Blake looks pissed for a another moment, then laughs. “You suck,” he tells me, pulling the reins back from me.
“Whatever makes you feel better,” I say, sing-song, sending his horse on with a pat on the rump. “Quitter.”
“Callahans don’t quit,” he informs me, before riding away—this time with a smile on his face.
I watch him go. He looks more natural now. And finally, I see what Dash is going for. The morning sun hits through Blake’s blonde hair, his biceps flex as he holds the reins, and I’m betting there won’t be a woman in the audience who doesn’t imagine herself betwee
n those muscular, denim-clad thighs come release day.
My stomach slowly flips over and settles down with a wistful ache.
“…Zoey?”
I turn. “Sorry, what?”
Tegan is on the other side of the fence, and Brit is already heading for the house. “I said, do you want to come up for breakfast.”
“Maybe later,” I glance back to Blake. “I need to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.”
There’s silence.
“Zoey Barnes,” Tegan’s voice comes again, and this time there’s an edge to her voice that makes me freeze. “Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on between you and my brother?”
8.
Tegan’s question ricochets through me. My heart stops.
No!
“Nothing!” I blurt, whirling around. “Nothing’s going on.”
Tegan shakes her head. “No way, I know you better than this.” She keeps squinting at me, until suddenly her eyes widen in realization. “You like him!”
“Shh!” I hush her quickly, shooting an anxious glance back at Blake. “Don’t say that!”
“Don’t say it because it’s not true, or because you don’t want my brother to hear?” Tegan challenges me.
My cheeks turn hot. I look away for a moment, but I can’t lie. She’s my best friend. I meet her eyes again, and I guess my expression tells her everything she needs to know, because her mouth drops open.
“Zoey!”
“I know,” I cringe. “I’m sorry, but—”
Blake circuits past us again, this time at a respectable canter. “Look!” he cries triumphantly. “I’m doing it!”
“Uh huh,” Tegan says dismissively. “We’re grabbing some food,” she calls after him. “Try not to die while we’re gone!”
Tegan grabs my arm and drags me away. My mind races. I don’t know what to say to her, I don’t even know where to start. After all this time, my secret is finally out, but I’m terrified that she’ll hate me now.
This is what I’ve been afraid of, all these years. When the truth is revealed—and our friendship can never be the same again.
She doesn’t say a word until we’re inside the main ranch house. I look around, trying to delay the inevitable. It’s a big, open-plan space full of rustic wood furniture and bright sunshine. Brit is pouring coffee in the huge, blue-tiled kitchen. She looks up in surprise as Tegan drags me over and comes to a stop beside the counter.
“You’ve got some explaining to do,” Tegan says, folding her arms.
“I’m sorry!” I gulp. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t even know he was your brother when we met, that first day of school,” I babble, “and then we got to be friends, and he was my first kiss… It was a total shock when I went to stay with you and saw him again. I couldn’t help it, I’m so sorry.”
I stop. Tegan’s angry expression slips. Now she just looks confused. “Wait, the first day of school?” she repeats. “That was years ago. You mean, you’ve been in love with him all this time?”
“Not in love,” I protest. “I mean, I don’t know what this is. It just…is.”
I realize Brit is looking back and forth between us like this is a sports match. She slides some coffee over to both of us.
“Don’t stop,” she says quickly. “This is just getting good.”
Tegan shakes her head, like she can’t believe what I’m saying. “All this time…?” she asks. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because I didn’t want it to be weird,” I explain. “And I know you hate girls trying to get to Dex and everyone through you. I didn’t want you thinking I was like that. You’re my best friend in the world!”
I wait, hoping with everything in my heart that she’s OK with this. I couldn’t take it if it came between us now, I would give up everything for her.
“Do you hate me?” I ask in a small voice.
Tegan rolls her eyes. “Of course I don’t hate you!” she says, coming over and giving me a fierce hug. I exhale in relief, holding her tight until she pulls away. “I just don’t understand it. Is this why you never really dated anyone?”
“Kind of,” I admit, still feeling foolish. “So, you’re OK with it?” I check.
“I guess…” Tegan still looks like she’s trying to process everything. “But, Blake? Really? He’s a total man-whore!”
“He’s not!” I protest.
“Please,” Tegan laughs. “He’s my brother, and I love him, but that man is such a dumbass when it comes to girls. He dates all these Hollywood bitches and breaks up with them after, like two weeks,” she explains, turning to Brit.
I remember we’re airing all this personal stuff in front of an almost-stranger. “I’m sorry,” I tell Brit. “We can talk about this later.”
“No way!” She beams. “I love it. My family drama isn’t enough, I want to hear about somebody else’s.”
I laugh at her gleeful expression. I like her already, and I can see the resemblance between her and Ryland: they both have a sarcastic wit and a mischievous glint in their dark eyes. And clearly, they both share the same priorities in life, because Brit immediately asks, “Who wants waffles?”
“Me!” Tegan and I answer in unison.
“Coming right up.” Brit pours batter into the waffle-maker and sets the bacon on to grill. “So, I have to ask—because I’m a nosy bitch, but you love me anyway,” she adds with a grin. “Has anything actually happened between you guys? Five years seems like a long time to carry a torch like that with nothing, you know, fanning the flames.” She winks.
I glance back at Tegan, feeling my cheeks flush again. “Well, we did, umm, kiss a couple of times.”
“What?” Tegan screeches.
“Shhh,” I beg her again.
“What? When? Where?” she demands. “Wait, don’t tell me, do I want to know? Yes, I do,” she answers for me. “Details, now.”
I take a deep breath, getting settled on a kitchen stool. “Well, he was my first kiss, but that was just a pity thing, because I was, like, a spinster,” I explain hurriedly. I’m still embarrassed whenever I think about Blake taking pity on me in the Norma’s parking lot. “But this whole thing basically started on New Year’s Eve,” I begin, relieved to finally be able to share it with my best friend. “I figured, I needed to see if there was any chemistry, if he could ever see me as more than just your friend. So, I kissed him.”
“What kind of kiss?” Brit interrupts again. “Like, a gentle peck on the lips, or…?”
“Hot, heavy, tongue.” I reply.
Tegan makes a gagging sound.
“I’m sorry!” I cry immediately. “I didn’t mean—”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll just have to get used to it,” she says, sounding resigned. “Go on.”
“Well, that’s it. We had this amazing kiss, and then, nothing.” I slump down on my seat. “When I saw him again in town, he looked so uncomfortable that I pretended like it didn’t mean anything, that I’d been drunk the whole time.”
Tegan’s face falls. “Oh. That sucks.”
“I know.”
There’s silence for a moment, then Brit gets a thoughtful expression. “Wait a minute,” she says, “you said you kissed a couple of times.”
Tegan whips her head around. “You did!”
I pause. “The other night,” I admit. “When he walked me home from the bar. It was only for a second,” I add. “And then he practically ran away.”
“I knew it,” Tegan breathes. “He was acting all weird when he got back. I thought he was just hooking up with that starlet from the movie.”
My face must have fallen, because she quickly adds, “Nothing’s going on, I’m sure. I just figured, you know, since girls are always throwing themselves at him…”
I let out a groan. “See? It’s hopeless. He thinks of me as a friend, nothing more.”
“No,” Brit speaks up. “There’s something there. One kiss can be an accident,” she explains. “But two?
It’s not like he tripped and accidentally fell on your mouth.”
“So what’s stopping him?” I sigh. “I don’t understand it. I’m making it pretty clear I want him.”
She shrugs. “Boys are stupid.”
“Are we now?” A guy’s voice comes, and then a tall, handsome man saunters into the room. He’s dressed in jeans and a plaid shirt, with scruffy blonde hair and stubble. He drops a kiss on the side of Brit’s head and makes beeline for the range. “Mmm, bacon,” he says with a happy sigh.
“Hunter, meet Zoey,” Brit makes the introduction. She slaps his hand away with a spatula, just as he’s reaching for a slice. “Hey, leave it. This is for us.”
Hunter makes a puppy-dog expression. She snorts. “I’m immune, baby. Those tricks won’t work on me.”
“Hmm, how about…” Hunter leans in closer and whispers something in her ear.
She grins. “OK, just one. But you better deliver.”
“I always do,” Hunter smirks back.
I feel another pang. Happy couples everywhere: between these two, and Tegan and Ryland, there’s no escape.
“So, what have the men of the world done to offend you this time?” Hunter asks, stealing Brit’s coffee mug. He leans back against the counter and raises an eyebrow.
Tegan and I exchange a look. “Some guy’s giving Zoey the run-around,” Tegan finally answers. “He’s blowing hot and cold, and she can’t figure it out.”
I feel self-conscious to have my secret romantic problems laid out for everyone to see, but part of me is curious too. I haven’t come up with any answers, so maybe they can help.
“I need a plan,” I sigh. “My friend told me to show up in lingerie and a trench coat, but that’s not my style.”
“Pneumonia isn’t sexy,” Tegan agrees. “You’re a man,” she says, turning to Hunter. “What would get your attention?”
“Don’t ask him,” Brit interrupts. “He’s all about big romantic gestures, real mushy stuff.” She acts teasing, but I catch the affectionate look that passes between them.
