by Kate Eastham
‘You can have it,’ said Sue, ‘I want you to keep it.’
‘Thank you,’ said Alice, taking the special piece without hesitation.
Then Sue was fishing in her pocket again. ‘And this one is even more special,’ she said, opening her hand to reveal what looked like a heart-shaped earring, bright red in colour. It could be mistaken for a ruby, but Alice knew that you didn’t find rubies on the streets of Liverpool. And she’d seen Lizzie with a pair similar to this: it was painted glass in a cheap setting, but lovely all the same.
‘I see what you mean,’ she said, leaning down to have a closer look. ‘It is lovely. That colour would look very nice with your hair and your skin tone. You’re like me, pale skin.’
You could be my daughter in a different life, thought Alice, her heart full of concern for the girl who an hour ago she would have walked past in the street, probably without a second glance. There were so many of these children out there.
‘I need to go,’ said Sue, jumping up from the bench.
‘Remember what I said,’ said Alice, giving the girl’s hand a squeeze, not really wanting to let her go back out on to the streets. She caught sight of the few inches of bare leg between the top of the girl’s tattered leather boots and the ragged hem of her dress, and found herself almost in tears. That bare leg seemed to make the girl look even more vulnerable somehow. Then she heard the sound of Victoria crying and instinctively glanced towards the kitchen door. When she looked back, Sue Cassidy was gone.
Alice heard Marie picking up the baby and soothing her and she knew that there was already a bottle prepared. She knew that she could let Marie feed her, she loved to feed the baby. So she stood in the yard with her head bowed for a few moments. And then, seeing the white pillowcase still lying on the flags, she picked it up and smoothed out the creases, seeing at one end the smudge of dirt where Sue Cassidy’s hand had held it so tight.
Sitting back down on the bench, with the crumpled pillowcase on her knee, in the same spot that Sue had occupied minutes before, Alice leant her head against the solid wall. She felt the hardness of it behind her, and thought how hard and bare life could be in the city. Staring at the stone flags, she saw a couple of straggly green weeds, struggling to survive amidst the stone and the brick and the soot. And for the first time, in all the months that Alice had been in the city, she actually missed her home in the north. Really missed it, deep inside – not just the homesickness that everyone gets. It was strange to feel it. Her home hadn’t always been a happy one. Her mother was a harsh, domineering woman who wouldn’t listen to anybody. But at home, they were surrounded by green fields, there were flowers and butterflies, and the air was clear, and just at that moment, with Alice’s back-yard perspective, she felt as if the sky at home was always blue and the sun was always shining. She would be able to breathe properly there; Victoria would be able to play in the grass, like she, Alice Sampson, used to as a child. They would both be able to grow together.
But then, Alice knew, her position was impossible. Her family would never accept a child born out of wedlock. Her father would: he was a gentle soul, a softly spoken man who worked as head cowman for a local farm. He would take her, and the baby, if it was left to him, Alice knew that he would. He had cried that day Alice moved to Liverpool. But she knew that he would never raise his voice against his wife, Alice’s mother. Jemima Sampson not only ruled the household with an iron hand, but also the bakery which she ran like clockwork. Once, as a child, Alice had wandered in there when the bread was being kneaded. She’d reached up to look in the wooden trough where the dough was mixed and accidentally dropped in the dandelion that she was clutching in her small hand. Her mother had grabbed her and held her by the scruff of the neck, inches away from the oven that was glowing with heat. Alice had never forgotten that day, and she had never wandered back into the bakery again.
From that day, Alice had been fearful of her mother, but as she became an adult, she also began to admire the way her mother worked. Mixing that amount of bread dough every day was tough work, you had to be strong, and her mother kneaded side by side with the men. There had never been any question of Alice going into the family business. She was the youngest and the only girl. Two of her brothers already worked in the bakery and the other, the one most like her father, was also a cowman. There was no work for Alice at home, and so her mother had started making enquiries, first about a position as a housemaid, and then, fortunately for Alice, about becoming a nurse. The vicar’s daughter had trained as a nurse, and come back to the village to work as a district nurse. She was a chaste, God-fearing girl, and Alice’s mother had been really taken with her and her ‘calling’. She’d told Alice that the vicar’s daughter was like their very own Florence Nightingale and she thought that following the same course would be a good life for a Sampson girl. She had hoped that Alice would marry early, but it had become clear that wasn’t going to happen. Alice knew that the day when Jamie had come to the house, full of excitement about his plans for Australia, her mother had been heartbroken. She’d always had a real soft spot for Jamie, and had often spoken to Alice in terms of ‘when you’re Jamie’s wife’. Sometimes, Jemima had even seemed closer to Jamie than she was to her own sons.
Alice sighed. She didn’t like to keep all that had happened since she came to Liverpool secret from her family. It troubled her and she was terrified that one day her mother would find out anyway. And then what? What would she do? Alice knew that the woman was capable of anything. That’s why she had no choice. She couldn’t even think about telling anyone at home.
As she stood up from the bench, Alice caught sight of those weeds again, and a single, lonely tear escaped down her cheek. Too exhausted to cry properly, she wiped it away, and then busied herself, feeling at the sheets to check if they were drying. All she could do was live her life from day to day. Keep working at the hospital, keep helping here at the house, keep taking care of her daughter.
There must be something waiting for me and Victoria, something just for us, thought Alice as she walked back into the house. She supposed that most people looked at her and assumed that she must be hoping that the father of her baby would come back from Australia. But she knew that hope had died out long ago. With the distance of time, even before Victoria was born, Alice had realized that she didn’t really miss Jamie that much. And she’d assumed he felt the same – he hadn’t even written her a letter from Australia. And now that she was back at work, really feeling part of it this time around, she couldn’t imagine having to give up nursing and settle for marriage. No, she definitely didn’t want Jamie, she was sure of that, and what’s more, she didn’t even want him to know that he had a child.
11
‘Nursing is said … to be a high calling, an honourable calling … The honour does not lie in putting on Nursing like your uniform, your dress …’
Florence Nightingale
‘Nurse Sampson,’ called Sister Law, puffing out her chest and standing at the top of the ward with both feet planted square.
‘Here we go,’ Alice muttered to herself, as she walked up the ward to start her shift. She must have heard what happened on the ward the night before last.
Alice stopped in front of Sister and stood her ground, determined to put her case, to not be bowed down by anything that the night superintendent had reported. Alice could see Sister Tweedy in the background, writing up her night report.
‘It has been brought to my attention by Sister Tweedy …’ said Sister, pausing momentarily. Alice felt a shock go through her body. Had she been wrong to trust Sister Tweedy after all? She was thrown; now she had no idea what was coming.
Sister gave her a hard stare. ‘Don’t look so worried, Nurse Sampson. It has been brought to my attention by Sister Tweedy that you have done an excellent job on night duty.’
Alice almost fainted with relief right there on the spot. She glanced across at Sister Tweedy, who was still scribbling her report; she could have run over there
and hugged the woman.
‘Nurse Sampson,’ said Sister Law. ‘Can I have your complete attention.’
Alice looked back at her, grinning from ear to ear.
‘Not that much attention,’ said Sister with a scowl. ‘And as I’ve told you before, you are really making an impression on the ward. Long may it continue, Nurse Sampson.’
Alice was still smiling – she couldn’t help it – and she began to see the glimmer of amusement somewhere behind Sister’s mask-like expression.
‘As a reward for your progress – again, do not let this go to your head, there is still much to be done – you will accompany me on the ward round with Mr Jones this morning. We need our nurses to have a breadth of understanding and as much medical knowledge as possible, but I don’t allow just anyone on the ward round. That privilege has to be earned. You have done well, Nurse Sampson. Be ready to be called when you see Mr Jones on the ward.’
‘Yes, Sister,’ said Alice, still smiling.
‘Now, stand with the rest while I give my report and then get on and make some beds. You are infuriating me, grinning away like that. Stop smiling at once.’
‘Yes, Sister,’ said Alice, desperately trying to keep a straight face.
She felt very special indeed on the ward round with Sister Law and Mr Jones. She was the chosen one, for that day at least. She felt even more special when they came to Tommy Knox’s bed and he gave her a wink – careful not to let Sister see, of course.
Alice was glad to see him sitting up in bed; it looked like he might do well after all. Surely, if the lump had been suspicious, he wouldn’t look this well after surgery?
‘Now, Mr Knox,’ said the surgeon, leaning over to pull aside the dressing which had already been loosened by another nurse, following Sister’s direct instruction. ‘Let me see …’
All was silent around Tommy’s bed as Mr Jones made his inspection. Finally, he seemed satisfied and straightening up gave the semblance of a smile. ‘It all looks very well indeed, Mr Knox, you should be able to get up and about in no time at all. The stitches will have to stay in for a few weeks, of course, and we will have to be extremely vigilant for suppuration. But so far, all seems to be well.’
‘Thanks, doc,’ said Tommy, grinning at Mr Jones. ‘My ship will be back to sea in six weeks’ time; how do you think I’ll be fixed for that?’
‘We will have to see, Mr Knox, we will have to see, but so far so good …’ Mr Jones turned to Sister Law, lowering his voice, ‘I’m still waiting for my colleague with the microscope to have a look. He’ll let us know if there were cancer cells in that lump we removed …’
Alice felt her throat tighten, and she wanted to ask more about the cells and the microscope, but Mr Jones was already moving on to other matters: ‘I noticed some redness around the wound. Do we have a recording of this man’s temperature?’
‘Not as yet,’ said Sister. ‘Are you sure it is required at this stage, Mr Jones?’
Having no reply from the surgeon, who merely stood looking at Sister with his eyebrows raised, she, in turn, spoke to Alice. ‘Please bring the thermometer, Nurse Sampson. Mr Jones requires a reading.’
Alice wasn’t sure but she thought she saw Sister roll her eyes as she made the request.
‘Don’t worry, Mr Knox,’ said Sister, seeing the look of alarm on Mr Knox’s face. ‘This is not a painful procedure.’
Alice went directly to the special cupboard that housed the wooden box wherein lay the new mercury thermometer. She had never been trusted with the handling of it before so knew that she had to be extra careful. As she returned to Mr Knox’s bed, she walked slowly.
‘Come along, Nurse Sampson,’ shouted Sister. ‘It’s not the crown jewels.’
Back at the bed, Sister instructed Alice to remove the long glass tube from the wooden box. ‘Please don’t drop it, Nurse Sampson,’ she said, with a glint in her eye that indicated to Alice that Sister thought it might not be the end of the world if she did indeed drop it and it was smashed to pieces.
‘Insert it into the patient’s axilla,’ urged Mr Jones. ‘The man’s armpit, Nurse, his axilla is just a fancy name for the armpit.’
‘The other way round: yes, that’s it. See the bulb here – that contains the mercury, you can see the silver, yes. The premise behind the whole operation is that the warmth of the patient’s body will cause the mercury to expand, thereby forcing the level of mercury up the fine bore of the tube. When the level has stopped moving upwards, that’s when we read the temperature. These new thermometers are much easier to use. The other one we had was an unwieldy twelve inches long, this is half the size.’
Alice was fascinated. Once the long glass tube was inserted, she continued to support it at one end and watched it like a hawk.
‘It will take five minutes,’ said Mr Jones. ‘Sister and I will progress to the next patient and then come back to you.’
Alice nodded, still scrutinizing the glass tube. When she looked up, Tommy was looking at it too, his grey hair stuck out at all angles, and then he looked up at her with a smile, showing the one single tooth in his grizzled head. It was a wonderful smile and Alice was so relieved to see him out of pain.
‘I never thought I’d see anything like this in my lifetime,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Who knows what the study of science will lead us to next, hey? We might have a man on the moon one day, Nurse Sampson, a man on the moon.’
‘Thank you so much for what you did last night, Mr Knox,’ said Alice quietly. ‘You saved my skin.’
‘You are very welcome,’ said Tommy, with another grin, ‘all part of the service, and, as I saw last night, and I know from years at sea, the captain of the ship can be a very tricky customer indeed, if you get the wrong one. Now, our Sister Law, for example.’ Alice gave him an anxious glance, wondering what he was going to say. ‘At first sight, she might look like the worst captain that anyone could fall under, but, in no time at all, the men would see that she has the best interests of all who sail with her, well and truly at heart.’
‘Really?’ whispered Alice, looking back up from the thermometer.
‘Indeed so.’
‘Look, Mr Knox,’ said Alice, genuinely fascinated by the thermometer, but also keen to distract her patient before Sister came back. ‘The level of mercury is rising.’
‘That is wonderful indeed,’ said Tommy. ‘Just by the warmth of a smelly armpit. I don’t even mind if I have got a bit of a fever now, Nurse Sampson, not now I’ve seen the wonders of science.’
‘The level seems to be steadying up now, Mr Knox.’
‘Please call me Tommy, and yes, I can see what you mean. You are a woman of science, Nurse Sampson, a woman of science.’
‘Are we ready to read it, Nurse Sampson?’ enquired the surgeon, reappearing at the bottom of the bed.
‘I think so, Mr Jones, the level of mercury is steady now.’
Mr Jones took the glass tube from her and checked for himself, then he made his reading of the markings: ‘So that’s … ninety-eight degrees Fahrenheit, Mr Knox.’
‘Is that good or bad?’ said Tommy, as the surgeon made to move away.
‘Oh, that is absolutely fine, Mr Knox, absolutely fine.’
‘That’s good then, isn’t it, Nurse?’ smiled Tommy, as Alice packed the device back into the wooden box.
‘It is very good, Mr Knox … and I’ll be back to secure that dressing for you and rebandage just as soon as I can,’ said Alice, giving his hand a squeeze before heading back down the ward to return the thermometer to the special cupboard.
As she was walking back to join the ward round, Alice was stopped in her tracks by the orderlies, Michael and Stephen, coming through with a new admission.
‘We’ve got one man and his dog here for you, darlin’,’ said Michael, giving Alice a wink. ‘Where d’ye want ’em?’
Alice recognized the new admission immediately. He was the army veteran who’d been on the ward last year, the same man that she’d seen w
alking past St George’s Hall on the day of Maud’s wedding.
‘Mr Delaney,’ hissed Sister, coming up behind the orderly. ‘Please refrain from addressing my nurses in such a familiar fashion, and stop wasting time. Take this man to bed five.’
‘Yes, Sister,’ said Michael, and Alice could see him struggling to repress a laugh.
‘One moment, Mr Delaney,’ she said, holding up a hand when she saw the patient on the stretcher for the first time. The man had his eyes closed, he looked thin and weather-beaten, his hair and beard were long and matted. He was in a poor state. Then she shifted her gaze to the ragged white dog, some kind of bull terrier that was anchored by a frayed rope to the stretcher. Alice held her breath. She was sure that Sister would not allow a dog on the ward, not under any circumstances.
Michael was already muttering, ‘He wouldn’t leave the dog, Sister, he said he’d rather die in the street than leave the dog. There was nothing we could do.’
What happened next not only flabbergasted Alice, but also the two men holding the stretcher. Sister leant down to the dog, stretched out a hand and gave it a stroke. The dog gave a low growl, but Sister was undeterred, speaking gently to the creature. ‘Well, you are a battered old fella, aren’t you?’ she said, scrutinizing the dog’s ripped ear and a fresh tear across his scarred nose.
When she straightened up, the patient had opened his eyes. ‘Welcome to the ward again, Mr Swain,’ she said, with the shadow of a smile on her face. ‘I hope we can help you to get better.’
In that moment, Alice recalled that Sister Law had given this man special attention last year; she’d even made sure he had some money from a special fund to see him on his way when he was discharged. Sister seemed to have a real soft spot for the army veterans.
‘I’m afraid you won’t be able to keep the dog on the ward overnight, Mr Swain, hospital rules. But you can keep him whilst you get settled. Mr Delaney will take him home tonight and look after him for you, won’t you, Mr Delaney?’ Sister glared at the orderly.
