by Anita Hughes
“I want to look at you first.” He touched her cheek. “Ever since I walked into Raj’s apartment and you were standing in the kitchen, I’ve been crazy about you.”
“I’m crazy about you too,” she admitted.
Adam rubbed the sweet spot between her legs and she gasped. His body was taut and when he entered her, the pleasure was so exquisite she could barely breathe. Their arms and legs became tangled, and their skin was slick with sweat. She came first, the waves catching her before she was ready. Adam waited and then groaned and collapsed against her.
“I have a confession to make,” he said when she was curled against his chest.
“That sounds serious,” she murmured. Every nerve tingled and she felt bright and alive.
“Sort of serious.” He kissed her neck. “I’ve never waited so long to have sex with a girl.”
“Because you were afraid the sex wouldn’t be good, and you wouldn’t want to see me again?” she said, half-joking.
“No, the opposite.” He turned her on her back and perched above her.
“The opposite?” She studied his face and had never seen eyes so blue.
“That I’d want you so much, I’d never be able to let you go.”
“What do you think now?” she whispered.
“I think I was right,” he said hoarsely. “But it’s too late. I’m hooked.”
Her heart beat faster, and she reached up and kissed him. “Me too.”
* * *
Felicity glanced nervously around Chesa Veglia as if people could see what she was thinking. Suddenly the music was too loud, the bar was too smoky, and she had to get some air. She ran down the staircase and into the street.
She had to call Adam and tell him she loved him. Nothing was going on with Gabriel; all she wanted was to be together. She turned the corner and saw a young woman standing under the awning. Her hair was tucked into a wool cap, and she was scrolling through her phone.
“Katie?” Felicity approached her. “What are you doing out here? Are you feeling all right?”
“Felicity!” Katie looked up. “Don’t worry, I’m not having another bout of altitude sickness. That Italian race-car driver was pressing me to go for a drive, and I couldn’t shake him off. I ducked outside when he went to buy cigarettes.”
“Raj said you were falling for him.” Felicity stood beside her.
“Of course not; I just didn’t want to offend him. I have a serious boyfriend in Kentucky.” Katie took a small box out of her purse. “Don’t tell anyone, but we’re engaged.”
“Why aren’t you wearing the ring?” Felicity studied the tiny diamond on a gold band.
“Jake proposed at Christmas, and we haven’t told my parents,” Katie giggled. “The ring is so pretty, I can’t go anywhere without it.”
“It’s lovely, and I’m so excited for you,” Felicity said warmly. “When’s the big day?”
“In the late summer,” Katie said. “Jake is taking over his uncle’s farm, and I’m going to help him. He’s remodeling the barn, and we’ll move in in the fall.”
“You can’t move back to Kentucky,” Felicity protested. “You’re one of the hottest models in New York.”
“Jake could never live in the city.” Katie shook her head. “We tried long-distance, but we hated being apart.”
“You’re helping to support your siblings.” Felicity remembered the photo of the twelve-year-old twins. “And you’re giving up an amazing career. Raj wants to book you for my summer collection.”
“My brother and sister can live without new jeans.” Katie grinned. “Modeling has been fun and the money is great, but it doesn’t mean anything without love. I wish I was as lucky as you.”
“As me?” Felicity asked.
“You’re successful, and you have an amazing boyfriend.” Katie looked at Felicity. “Sometimes one has to choose. I have to marry Jake. We’re in love and all we need is each other. I’ve never been so happy.”
* * *
Felicity walked quickly through the village. Her head throbbed and her throat was dry and she couldn’t face going back inside.
Why hadn’t she seen things more clearly? Adam couldn’t be in love with her; he wasn’t willing to change anything to be together. Katie was one of the rising stars in the modeling world, and could have closets full of shoes and paid trips to Milan. She was giving it all up to get married and live on a farm in Kentucky.
She had to put Adam out of her mind and concentrate on the fashion show and finishing the sketches for Camilla. From now on she’d put all her energies into creating the perfect tulle gown with capped sleeves like Cinderella’s dress at the ball, or an off-the-shoulder chiffon dress with long white gloves.
Christmas lights were strung across the sidewalk. She remembered how excited she had been to debut the collection in St. Moritz. A whole week in a glamorous ski resort, with her designs modeled on the famous catwalk of Badrutt’s Palace. Now she had to choke back the tears.
She would give herself one night to cry. Tomorrow she’d get up early and make sure the glass tiara that accompanied Nell’s ball gown sparkled, and the court-length veil that matched Katie’s mermaid dress was pressed. And she had a new idea for a dress for Camilla: a charmeuse gown with a faux-mink cape, accessorized by diamond earrings bigger than the women wore at the Polo Bar.
The entry to the hotel was teeming with guests. Felicity edged her way into the lobby. She didn’t feel like smiling at the valets or commenting about tomorrow’s ski conditions. All she wanted was to go up to her room and take off the silver lamé dress she’d bought in the village and get out of her new stilettos.
“Felicity,” a female voice called. “What are you doing here? Nell said everyone was having dinner at Chesa Veglia.”
Felicity turned around and saw Nell’s mother crossing the lobby. She was carrying a book, and was wearing a twill sweater and matching skirt.
“The music was pounding and everyone was on the dance floor, and I suddenly felt old,” Felicity explained. “I left early, and I’m going to bed.”
“You’re much too young to be thinking about your age,” Patty said warmly. “Come join me in the bar. I was going to order a brandy and finish this book, but I’d much rather have your company.”
“A brandy does sound nice,” Felicity agreed. “It’s snowing outside, and I’m freezing.”
They sat at the bar and the bartender set two shot glasses in front of them.
“It’s called Träsch, and it’s made from cider pears.” She handed one to Felicity. “There used to be a bottle at the chalet where I worked as a chalet girl. I’m remembering so many things about St. Moritz; I feel like I’m twenty all over again.”
“St. Moritz at Christmas is gorgeous.” Felicity glanced at the tables set with red chrysanthemums and flickering candles. “Everywhere you go, it’s like an advertisement in some glossy magazine.”
“It’s the perfect setting for the fashion show. I’ve already overheard guests talking about it,” Patty acknowledged. “I envy you. You’re young and beautiful and you’ve accomplished so much.”
Felicity thought about Katie’s small engagement ring and Adam’s accusations over the phone, and a sob caught in her throat.
“Are you all right?” Patty leaned forward. “You’re crying! Tell me what’s wrong.”
“You don’t want to hear it.” Felicity shook her head.
“I’m a mother; of course I do,” Patty offered. “Maybe I can help.”
Felicity told her about the fight with Adam at Christmas, and the photos of her and Gabriel online, and Katie giving up modeling to move to Kentucky.
“I thought Adam just wanted to wait to get married until his firm was doing well, but now I don’t know if he ever loved me at all,” Felicity finished. “Eliot couldn’t wait to get engaged to Nell, and look at you and Felicity’s father. Nell said it was love at first sight.”
“I suppose it was,” Patty conceded. “But falling in love and being
happily married can be two different things. I’m afraid I’m not a good role model.”
“Todd loved you enough to want to marry you,” Felicity said fiercely. “Adam doesn’t care what I do. He suggested we see other people.”
“I wouldn’t take that too seriously. Todd and I said things we didn’t mean when we argued,” Patty replied. “The only thing I’m sure of is that it helps to marry your best friend.”
“I thought that’s what Adam and I were.” Felicity gulped her brandy. “But now I wonder whether I wanted it all so badly—being in love, getting married, having a family—that I didn’t see Adam clearly at all.”
“Those aren’t bad things to want,” Patty remarked. “Don’t say anything to Nell, because I never want her to worry about me, but I miss being part of a couple. There’s nothing better than having someone to share things with, and it’s wonderful to have someone to sleep beside.”
“I’ll have to get a giant teddy bear,” Felicity groaned. “I don’t know when I’ll have a man in my bed again.”
“You’re not even thirty; there’s time to figure things out. Make sure Adam is the man you really want,” Patty said thoughtfully. “Marriage can be wonderful, or it can be as cold and lonely as being stranded in a snowstorm.” She sipped her drink. “The important thing is marrying the right man.”
* * *
Felicity entered her suite and tossed her purse on the love seat. A silver tray sat on the coffee table with an assortment of chocolate truffles. Through the bedroom door she noticed a hot-water bottle propped on the bedspread, and a vase with fresh flowers.
The lights were dimmed in the living room, and the wedding dresses glowed like fireflies. There was the ivory brocade gown with a strapless bodice and open back. It had occupied an aisle seat on the airplane, and Felicity had been terrified a flight attendant would brush past and the Swarovski crystals would fall off.
Hanging next to it was one of her favorites: a princess gown with an inner corset and pearl button closure. She had seen the pewter color in a magazine, and Raj scoured every garment store in Manhattan for the right fabric. It had been worth it! The color was so flattering, it made the model look like she’d just returned from a spa vacation.
And she adored the A-line dress with a regal lace motif and crystal buttons. When the light caught the buttons, the dress reminded her of fireworks on the Fourth of July.
She couldn’t count how many times Raj had shown up with some incredible fabric—batiste light as air, or champagne-colored Mikado—and she’d decided that was going to be the fabric for her own wedding dress. And there was the time she’d spotted a pair of gold heels in the window of Reem Acra and imagined wearing them for her first dance.
Being a wedding dress designer was everything she’d dreamed of, but it didn’t take the place of love. Even Patty believed in love and marriage; there was nothing better in the world. She switched off the lights and walked into the bedroom. The bed was turned down. She pressed the hot water bottle against her cheeks.
Nine
Three Days Before the Fashion Show
8:00 a.m.
Nell
NELL ZIPPED UP HER SKI pants and buttoned her parka. The sky was pale blue outside her window, but she knew the puffy clouds and bright sun were deceiving. It was early morning and the temperatures on the slopes would be freezing.
There were three days until the fashion show, and the other girls were getting free massages provided by the hotel spa. It sounded so relaxing: reclining in one of those thermal beds, being slathered with lotions made from goat’s milk and locally grown honey and thyme.
But her father had suggested they have breakfast and take some early morning runs, and she’d asked Raj for the morning off. He hadn’t understood why she wanted to miss a seaweed wrap and deep-tissue massage, but he reluctantly agreed.
At least she didn’t have to worry about running into her mother on the slopes. Her mother had given up skiing when Pete and Nell were children. She’d said it was impossible to enjoy herself when she had to run back to their room because Pete forgot his mittens, or the ski rental shop gave Nell the wrong poles and it took all day to exchange them. It was better to curl up in the lodge with a cup of hot cocoa and a book and wait for them to come down the mountain.
Nell rummaged in her purse for Chapstick and sighed. They did have some good times as a family, like the Christmas holiday when they’d rented a cabin in Lake Tahoe and made snowmen. Her mother and father had even got into a snowball fight. Afterward they all drank mulled cider and sang Christmas carols in front of the fireplace.
Should she have paid more attention to her parents’ marriage, and would it have made a difference? They hadn’t separated until Nell left for New York, and even then they’d still shared the house in Beverly Hills. Her father had moved into the pool house, and seemed content taking his early morning swims and eating dinner whenever he liked.
Even when they’d signed the divorce papers and her father moved to Malibu, Nell hadn’t been concerned. Lots of her friends’ parents got divorced, and the families still spent holidays together. It never occurred to her that her parents would refuse to occupy the same air space.
There was a knock at the door, and she wondered if it was Felicity. Felicity had left the nightclub early last night, and she hadn’t seen her afterward. Nell tried calling, but her phone was off and the Do Not Disturb sign was on her door.
“Mom!” Nell opened the door. “What are you doing up? You said you were going to sleep until noon.”
“There’s something so luxurious about having nothing to do; it makes me want to get out of bed.” Her mother entered the room and laughed. “At home, I’m so busy running the bookstore and taking care of the house that all I want to do is take a nap. Here, I can’t wait to explore the shops and maybe take a horse and carriage ride.”
“A horse and carriage ride?” Nell asked, wondering if her mother had met someone. “Aren’t those for couples?”
“Why shouldn’t I go by myself?” she asked. “One of the greatest myths about divorce is that a single woman can’t go out on her own. I’m treated well wherever I go, and I’ve had many interesting conversations. It was only your father who grunted one-word answers when I asked him a question. Just because we made two children together didn’t mean I knew his opinion on everything.”
“I’m sure he didn’t mean to ignore you,” Nell answered.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. I’d rather not talk about your father before breakfast,” her mother commented. “I thought we could go to Hotel Hauser in the village. I haven’t been there in years; they served the most delicious cheese and ham toasties.”
“The Hotel Hauser!” Nell gulped. That’s where she was going to meet her father. Then they were going to take the Chantarella funicular and ski Corviglia.
“When I was a chalet girl, it was very popular with the locals.” Her mother nodded. “I still remember their porridge. They serve it with cinnamon and honey, and it’s delicious.”
Nell tried to think. If she suggested another restaurant in the village, they could still run into her father.
“It’s such a beautiful morning,” Nell said quickly. “Let’s eat at a café on the mountain. Restaurant Chasellas is supposed to be excellent.”
“The Chasellas; that’s a name I haven’t heard in years,” her mother repeated. “I knew the chef; he used to serve all the chalet girls extra bacon. It’s quite out of the way. You have to take the gondola to the chairlift to get there.”
Nell calculated the logistics in her head. She’d text her father and say she was running late and had to skip breakfast. After she and her mother ate, she’d leave her mother at the Chasellas and take the chairlift to Corviglia. She’d have to carry her skis to breakfast, but she didn’t have a choice.
“I’d love for you to show it to me,” Nell said sweetly. “I read that the same chef has been there for years. Maybe he’ll remember you.”
“His
name was Stefan, and his English was terrible.” Her mother touched her hair. “Why not? I’ll call and make a reservation for three people.”
“Three people?” Nell asked.
“I hope you don’t mind. I ran into Felicity last night and we had a brandy,” she said. “I suggested she join us for breakfast.”
“Felicity,” Nell repeated. “I wondered where she went. She left the nightclub, and then her phone was off.”
“I gather she and Adam are having problems, but I told her not to worry,” Patty said. “You girls are too bright and successful to let men make you unhappy.”
“Of course I don’t mind, I adore Felicity,” Nell answered. “I can’t wait to get on the mountain. I’m starving.”
* * *
Restaurant Chasellas was a large hut wedged into the side of the mountain. The restaurant had wooden beams and arched windows and a terrace with tables under striped umbrellas. Waiters carried trays of white sausages to skiers wearing mirrored sunglasses and fur-trimmed parkas.
“Are you all right?” Nell said to Felicity when her mother went inside to see the chef. “You disappeared last night and never answered your phone. My mother said she ran into you in the lobby and you shared a brandy.”
“I’d rather not talk about it right now.” Felicity was wearing a pink ski sweater, and there were dark circles under her eyes. “Let’s enjoy breakfast with your mother.”
“I’m your best friend—you can tell me anything,” Nell prodded. “No offense, but you look like warmed-up oatmeal.”
“If you must know, Adam isn’t in love with me,” Felicity blurted out. “Everything I’ve been doing to make up has been a waste of time.”
“Did Adam tell you that?” Nell inquired.
“I haven’t talked to him today,” Felicity admitted. “It was something Katie said. It’s sort of private; I should let her tell you.”
“Katie the model?” Nell asked. “What does she have to do with anything?”
