“Oh, she knows where all her special things are, and if anyone moves even a piece of paper, she goes ballistic. I don’t want to talk about it. Can ya’ll be cool and let it go? It’s barely ten o’clock, and it’s already been a long day for me.”
“This was a bad idea, you promising all these souls.” Von laced his fingers through mine as I drove with one hand and my knee.
“It’s done. I want this sagrado nonsense snapped off already. I want my life back. I want to go back to work, and I’m sure Mason wants to go back to Sombi so he can do all the zombie killing to his heart’s content. And I’m sure you want to get on with your life, too, Von. Anyone got a problem with me speeding things along so we can get back to our regularly scheduled programs?” When my question was met with crickets, I nodded. “Didn’t think so.”
We drove the rest of the way in silence, arriving at the hospice facility twenty minutes later. I parked the car and reached for the door, but Mason stopped me. “Wait for us to get the door for you. You and Finn are stations above us, so you don’t open your own doors. Captain Finn’s here, so we play by the rules.”
“Well, when you put it like that, how can a girl not swoon?” I was miffed that the first time he offered to open the door for me was because a big bad baddy was watching. I sighed and turned around to address the peanut gallery, kneeling on my seat. “Look, it’s going to be a long day, and I don’t want to start it feeling like we’re not in this together. Finn, I told you to go home because we do things different than you’re probably comfortable with. If you’re with us, you’re one of us, not above us. You can get your own door.”
Finn’s chin moved to the left as he held my gaze, sizing up the odd creature he found me to be. I could hear Von swearing under his breath in a stream of nervous curse words as the balance shifted. It was all unnecessarily dramatic. Finally Finn answered, “I can play along, but only this weekend. When the others are around, I expect the respect I’ve earned. It’s the way the system works, and without the system, fools think they can sit where I do, and it’s safer for the kingdom that they don’t. Understood?”
“Sure.” I knew it was as good as I was going to get, so I ended the conversation by opening the door and starting to walk toward the building.
Mason and Von trotted after me, each of them taking one of my hands and making us look, well, kind of weird together. My gut was easy to follow, and the death was ripe for the picking. Finn walked behind us, observing our tag team approach to pulling and the in-and-out way Mariang had taught me to do my job. She was a pro at it, but I’d been a quick study. I barely registered the names of the people I was reaping anymore, coming into the rooms with some lame excuse or no excuse at all. The facility produced thirteen souls that were reaped and then pulled with no incident, only the occasional question or comment from Finn. He actually wasn’t such a pain once he realized there would be no bowing and cowering.
I tried not to lean on Von or Mason on our way out, but the exhaustion was starting to creep up on me. I felt cold settling in my chest, but the more they pulled from me on our way to the car, the more that weighted chill dulled. I slumped in the driver’s seat, leaning my head back and closing my eyes to give myself half a moment of collecting myself before we ramped up for another round.
“Break for lunch before we go?” Mason suggested, his stomach rumbling.
“Sure. I’ll grab the food from the trunk.” Von waved us off to the few picnic tables on the other side of the parking lot from the main hospice building. It was picturesque with the tall oaks framing the wooden picnic tables that were clear of graffiti. There was even a swing set further back, no doubt to keep the families with young children occupied while they waited out their great grandparents’ last moments.
Mason held his arm out to me, and though I wanted to be far away from him, my feet felt like lead and my breath was too shallow to walk long distances. Like, you know, from one end of the parking lot to the other. What a wuss. Mason was gentle with my unsteady feet, moving slowly and pulling the cold from me as we walked liked a true couple to the tables. He lowered me onto the bench with care.
I could tell he’d almost thought he’d gotten away with everything, until he leaned down to kiss my cheek and I flinched. He watched me avoid his gaze and finally sat next to me. He draped his arm around my shoulders as Von and Finn sat across from us. “I’m truly sorry,” Mason whispered low in my ear. “There’s no excuse for my behavior. I won’t indulge in you again.”
Indulge in me? Like I was a sinful dessert that was only bad for him. Of course he wouldn’t be kissing me again. He couldn’t use our connection to see his wife anymore, now that he wasn’t in love with me. Thus, kissing me had lost all appeal because being with only me wasn’t enough. I don’t know why that rock sunk hard in my gut; it wasn’t like I was itching for another go at our non-relationship.
I nodded at Mason in lieu of speaking my mind, keeping my eyes away from his face. I didn’t feel the need to tell him it was fine. Von was right. It wasn’t fine, but there was nothing I could do about it now.
Mason lifted an item out of the midsized cooler, taking a bite that was almost half the meaty sandwich. It was a good thing Lynna packed for a troop. “So what do you think about the Topside?” he asked Finn conversationally. Ever since I laid down the law about the whole us being on equal footing thing, the atmosphere had relaxed a little. Von was still edgy and unhappy that Finn was around, but the fishy guy actually managed a conversation here and there. Von lit his cigar and puffed it between taking bites of his sandwich.
Finn looked around as he chewed. “It’s nice. Colder up here, but maybe that’ll change once we’re free of our burning suns when the climates even out. Maybe things will cool down to this temperature. I think I might like that.”
I swallowed a bite of my sandwich before speaking. “What are you going to do without all the famine and heatstroke and whatnot? I mean, so much manpower goes into just surviving, I wonder what Terraway will look like once things aren’t so hard.”
“I imagine I’ll have a lot more work on my hands, keeping everyone busy enough so they don’t cause problems for themselves, but that’s the lesser of the evils.” Finn looked to the swings with a small smile. “It’s not always the hardships that reveal who you are; it’s often when those hardships are removed and hands grow idle that your true self surfaces.”
“Makes sense.” Mason and Finn had been equals at one point, and in the quiet shade of the tree, they started speaking like that again. It was nice to see Mason rise to his status of sitting at the cool kids’ table he’d cast himself off of so long ago. It was even more gratifying to watch Finn let his guard of distance down to be one of the guys. He even laughed a few times at a couple of my dumber jokes.
Von was not so enthused. He was visibly seething the more Finn spoke. “And what do you know about hardships? You’re the one controlling the harem. You eat the king’s stores of buhay without having to sell yourself into slavery.”
“That you think I enjoy any part of my job, or that working for Banak’s childish whims isn’t a hardship shows how little you know about the world, kendi.”
I didn’t know what kendi meant, but it set Von off. He stood, throwing his arms out and rolling up his sleeves to ready for a fight. “That’s it! I shouldn’t be expected to have to work with him after everything he... Ezra should know better than this!”
Finn turned to face Von, but didn’t get up, demonstrating how little of a threat Von was to him. “Ezra knows about your time in Dagat? And he still hired you?”
“Paying off a debt isn’t anything to be ashamed of, and that’s all I was doing in your country. Now stand up so I can knock that smarmy smirk off your mug!”
“You want to fight me? I got your sentence reduced, but you want to fight me?”
“What sentence?” I asked, confused by the conversation. Mason put his hand on mine to stop me from getting involved, though he looked just as lost as I did.
“It’s because of you I was sentenced at all!”
Finn finally stood, leveling his authoritative glare at Von. “Actually, it’s because of you. It didn’t have to be you, you know. That was your choice.”
Mason stood and walked around the picnic table, placing a hand on both men’s chests and pushing outward. “Settle this on your own time. Von, you can’t attack the Captain of Dagat.” When Finn shot him a superior look, Mason chided Finn. “And you have to know you can’t start stuff with a Reaper. We’re just as valuable and irreplaceable as the Omen, so lay off. You’re here as a guest, not a captain. The Omen was clear on that. Her ranking’s above all of us, so work together, or go home.”
The men slowly sank back down into their seats, Mason switching with Von so he didn’t have to sit next to Finn. Mason engaged Finn in conversation about Dagat so Von didn’t have to be social. My arm slipped around Von’s back as he shoved half a sandwich in his mouth. Though I didn’t understand what just happened, I knew that Von needed a Puller more than I did at the moment. “Hey, it’s alright,” I whispered.
Von gave an obligatory snort as he puffed on his cigar. “No, it’s not. And you wouldn’t look at me like that if you knew all Finn put me through.”
“Look at you like what?”
“Like I’m a man worth the light in your eyes.”
I gave him a confused smile. “Do you always get poetic when you’re pissed off?”
I handed him a water bottle and leaned in when he closed his eyes to rest his temple to mine. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered in a quiet plea he kept between us.
Mr. Never Get Attached needed me, and I didn’t take that privilege lightly. I linked my fingers through his under the table. “Never. Not even if you grew three heads and told me you hated Bruce Campbell.”
Von’s pained expression lightened with a hint of the smile I adored. “What if I scratched the paint on your car?”
“I wouldn’t leave you even then. I’d kick your butt, but I wouldn’t leave you.”
“What if I forgot to wash my hands after using the restroom?”
I dropped his hand immediately and wiped it off on my jeans. “I wouldn’t leave you even if you were gross, but I wouldn’t hold your hand so much.”
“Understandable. What if I –”
“Von? I don’t care what life you had before I met you, unless you want me to care about it. I know who you are, and it’s exactly the kind of best friend I need.”
He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into his nook so he could kiss the top of my head and blow his cigar smoke away from my face. “I don’t deserve you, you know.”
“Buy me a unicorn. That’s a good start.”
Von laughed, sounding more like himself. He started in on another sandwich while I tuned in to the conversation across the picnic table. Finn and Mason were elbow-deep in their own conversation that I was just beginning to tune in to. Finn leaned his forearm on the table as he spoke. “One thing I don’t look forward to is Banak’s harem shrinking. If the crops start growing again, the Mermaids won’t need the king’s food anymore. He’s right surly when he doesn’t have access to all the tail he can get his hands on. Makes my life a pain.” A small tease played on his lips while Von paled, looking like he might be suddenly sick. “I’m sure the king and his son will be the only ones sad to see the famine end.” He raised an eyebrow at me when I had nothing to say. “No witty reply? No angry comeback? I’m disappointed. Half the reason I didn’t fight Banak on shadowing you is because you were such promising sport.”
I laid my head down on the table, exhausted. “Pretend I said something hilarious about you having a small penis. I’m too tired to bother with you right now. Quit trying to wind Von up. I see what you’re doing.”
Mason had the nerve to apologize for my mouth. “She doesn’t know anything about Dagat or who you are.”
“No need to apologize for your charge, Mason. She amuses me. Though, the moment her charm grows tiresome, I suggest you educate her on the ways of Dagat before I have to.”
“I told you that you didn’t want to come out for a day of reaping.”
“On the contrary, Lady October. I like to know all I can about my assets. That way if something breaks, I can fix it.” His tone darkened. “And if that asset proves problematic, I’ll know exactly how I can break it so it never stands in my way again.”
I picked up my head to glare at him. “I don’t jump for you. I’m only playing along because Lang showed me how bad off his people were. Fear doesn’t motivate me. Ask Geon.”
“I see you haven’t been properly groomed with fear, then. If you don’t deliver on your promise of fifty souls in three days, I’ll see to remedying that the fun way.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re a badass,” I droned, rolling my eyes. “You’re so big and scary, and I’m just this little woman, fanning myself in the corner thinking, ‘Whatever shall I do? How can I please the great Captain Finn?’”
Mason leaned forward, his elbow on the table as he glowered at Finn, his voice low. “Look, threaten her again, and I’ll put in a complaint to the council. You ever seen an Omen reap thirteen bodies before lunch?”
“I’ll admit, I didn’t think that could be done.”
“Then trust that she knows her limits. She can handle the work well enough without the threats. If you get her worked up, it only goes against productivity.”
Finn sat back, eyeing Mason with a cold calculation. “You gave up your throne, but clearly the ruler’s still in you. Shame you never went back to take up your rightful place. Your brother Carter’s a drunken joke these days.”
Mason held Finn’s gaze, their casual back and forth going sour. “I don’t regret taking care of my people after they die. I have honor enough to hold my head high when I look in a mirror. I don’t need a harem of desperate women to give me my pride. Look down on me all you want; I don’t regret my choice. And you’ll not talk about my brother like that.”
“I never said you made the wrong choice. The shame lies only in leaving the throne without a ruler who has the passion you do for your post. Your brother’s just as weak as your father was.”
“You’re done commenting on my life and my family,” Mason ruled.
“You want a different sandwich, November? There’s a couple more kinds in here.” Von changed the subject and fished around in the cooler, pulling out an egg salad sandwich.
“Nah. I’m alright. Not hungry.”
“I know you think that, but you still should eat. You’re ripping through a lot of bodies today. You need your strength,” Mason urged.
Von gripped the back of my neck and gave it a massage with just the right pressure. I moaned and became even less motivated to pick my head up off the table to join the world.
“My stomach hurts. I honestly don’t think I could choke it down.”
“You sound like a petulant child,” Mason commented good-naturedly with a small smile, the toe of his shoe tapping mine under the table.
“And you sound like someone who needs a faceful of egg salad for busting on me. Too much reaping makes me queasy, and I’m out of practice doing this much in a morning.”
Von picked up the teasing just to taunt me. “You want I should feed you, baby bird?”
I lifted my head, scowling at the guys. “Not unless you want to lose a finger. Honestly, I’ve already got a big brother I’m fighting with. I don’t need two more. If I eat a few bites, will that get me a little space from the lectures?”
“I’d feel better,” Mason said.
“Well, anything I can do to make you feel better. By all means, hand me the sandwich.”
“Excuse me,” Von said, sliding his phone out of his pocket and motioning for Mason to take his seat so I wasn’t without pulling for a whole minute. “Penny’s expecting my call. She’s all excited about going to a carnival this weekend.”
“Where at?”
“Pemberton Elementary. That’s her school. Not
too far from Ezra’s. I might take a lunch break while she’s there to go see her, if that’s cool.”
“Of course.”
Von gave me a thumb’s up and walked away from our group to talk more privately to his almost-daughter.
The filling in the sandwich was creamy and smelled like just the right amount of mayonnaise with fresh dill mixed in. On any other day, I would’ve devoured the thing. Today, four bites was all I could muster, and those mouthfuls churned in my gut, making me regret each one. When Mason removed his hand from my back so he could take a drink from his water bottle, the washing machine feeling in my stomach picked up at full speed. I grew dizzy as Mason and Finn chatted pleasantly about the state of Dagat and Sombi, and how they anticipated the sagrado stone helping their territories.
The trash can looked so far away, though I knew it was only a few feet from the picnic table. I barely made it there on trembling legs before the vomit spewed out of me, forcing me over and over to regret taking a chance on the sandwich. Egg salad in reverse is no picnic, even at a picnic. The desire to break down rose up in me when I felt Mason on my left, but I kept my head bent over the can and locked my tears firmly inside. “I’m fine,” I choked out when I caught a breath. “Go sit down. You don’t want to be here for this.”
Mason rubbed his palm down my back. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”
It was too sweet, too kind, too loving. I could tell he’d been married and knew how to be good to someone in sickness and in health. Even though he was being compassionate out of practice rather than out of love, the gesture was still significant to me.
My stomach was sick, and now so was my heart. Mason didn’t know what he wanted, but he was stuck with me, just as I was stuck. I knew what I didn’t want, and that would be enough to give us both solid direction. “I don’t want you to see me like this. Please, Mason.” Another wave of sick hit me, and I prayed he was gone so I could pretend I had the space to be disgusting without an audience. In the trash can were too many things I didn’t want to have my head near. There was a dirty diaper, several old food containers, newspapers, an old sock, flies and who knows what else. I’d tried so hard to distance myself from the trash, but it always found me, like it knew I belonged with it.
Torture (Terraway Book 3) Page 8
