by Jack Brand
Mr Brody looked at me for a good long second, as if wondering whether he should say anything, and then he did.
‘Sid’s a troubled kid, Freddy. His family is … well, he never had much of a chance, I’m afraid. I sometimes wish I’d tried harder for him when he was a student here.’
‘Were you his teacher, sir?’
‘For a while I was.’
‘What was he like?’
Mr Brody gave me another one of those wondering looks.
‘I’ll tell you this about him, Freddy. When Sid was here, he used to get teased, a little like you’re getting teased now.’
‘Really? What did he get teased about?’
‘You don’t remember?’
I shook my head.
‘I suppose it was some years ago. Well, he wasn’t very good at school and … tell me, Freddy, when you look at Sid, what do you see?’
‘Um, a big scary guy.’
‘And?’
‘Well … he does have big ears that stick straight out.’
‘Not very bright and with big ears. What do you think the kids called him?’
I shrugged. ‘Sid?’ He was too big to call a name no matter what he looked like.
‘No, they called him Dumbo, you know, after the baby elephant in the Disney movie who had big ears.’
So that’s what Sid meant when he said, ‘That school is good at calling people names.’
He was just like me!
‘So he was a seagull too.’
Mr Brody was about to nod then stopped himself. ‘No! You are not like Sid. You might be getting teased but that will pass.’
I dropped my eyes. ‘I don’t think so, sir. It’s my name now and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it.’
Dumbo, Fartboy … Sid and I had a big thing in common.
I had to sit in the school office for another ten minutes before Mr Brody would let me out. My friends and my sister were still waiting for me.
We talked about Angus and Sid all the way home. No one could believe that Sid had come to my rescue; it just seemed too impossible.
I wasn’t sure if I should tell Mum about what happened, but I had no choice because Jessica blurted it out the moment we went inside.
Mum made me promise I would never join Sid’s gang and I was fine about that. No way did I want to join Sid’s gang. To be in a gang that went around hurting people was just wrong.
The next day at school I was Fartboy again. Nothing had changed. As far as everyone at school was concerned, I was Fartboy yesterday and I was Fartboy today.
Scarlett was still enjoying her fame as the finder of Fartboy. She explained to her followers how the leaves on the ground fell off the tree because of my farts and the crack in the concrete where we sat was from what she called the Great Fart of February, which happened after I ate too many beans.
I told her to go away but she only said, ‘Look out! He’ll fart on us if we stay here … RUN!’
They ran off as if they were running for their lives.
Angus went past and when he saw me he put his head down and didn’t hold his nose at all. He was about the only kid in the entire school who wasn’t pretending that I smelt. He had a good reason not to … he was afraid of Sid.
Afraid of Sid … hmmm … that gave me an idea.
I went over to Angus and told him that Sid wanted him to tell everyone in the school that I was in Sid’s gang, and if they didn’t stop teasing me, Sid would get them.
Angus said he wouldn’t do it so I told him that Sid would be waiting for him after school.
Well, that changed everything. He went around from group to group and he even got his friends to help him do it.
He told everyone that I was in Sid’s gang. By recess I was definitely getting teased less.
Mr Brody needed another message sent around to the classes about the gala day so I volunteered. In just about every room I went into, kids were still lifting their feet to avoid catching the fever. I said in a loud voice,
‘Put your feet down or you know what will happen!’
And they did!
There’s nothing like having a Sid on your side to make people do what you want them to.
The rest of the day was so cool.
If anyone so much as held their nose I wrote their name down on a piece of paper.
This was the piece of paper…
When they found out that their name was on the list, they came over and apologised and asked if their name could be taken off it.
My friends thought my plan was awesome.
Blocker even said, ‘You have defeated my saying, you have stopped the river of words.’
‘Thanks to the power of Sid!’ I cried.
‘Yeah. Great idea,’ said Blocker, shaking his head in admiration at my genius.
Tabby disagreed. She said that I shouldn’t be on Sid’s side even if it was pretend, and to remember all the bad things he’d done.
I remembered alright. I said that using Sid’s name was payment for all the bad things he’d done, that at last he was doing something good, even if it was just lending me his name.
She said, ‘How can you call this good? You’re threatening people with Sid! By doing this you’re becoming like him.’
‘No I’m not! All I’m doing is stopping people from teasing me.’
She said, ‘You’re playing with fire, Freddy, and if you play with fire, you will get burnt.’
I said, ‘I’m sorry, Tabby, but Block is in charge of sayings.’
She just huffed.
Everything was going great until Mr Brody found out about my list of kids to be bashed by Sid.
Scarlett Magnusson was crying in class because she was the last one on the list and I wouldn’t take her name off it. Why would I? She started it all and she really rubbed my nose in it. Anyway, before long Mr Brody had my list in his hand. He tore it up and threw it in the bin.
He told me enough was enough and he was right. I never intended to give the list to Sid anyway, or hopefully, to ever see him again.
And anyway, it had worked. Everyone had stopped calling me Fartboy.
It was all over…
I was so happy. When I got home I told Mum how no one was calling me Fartboy anymore and she said, ‘See, I told you they would forget quickly.’
I didn’t tell her about the list and how I pretended to be in Sid’s gang. I was too afraid to do that. She would have been mad at me for sure.
When she asked me how it happened I just said, ‘Oh, they realised it was mean and so they stopped.’
‘That’s great, they must really like you to listen to you like that.’
That wasn’t the reason. I felt a bit guilty about not telling her. A lot guilty, actually. I left for the park. After a little while, Tabby and Blocker turned up.
Tabby asked, ‘So what did your mum think about your Sid list?’
Tabby really knew where to dig for weaknesses. No wonder her brothers were afraid of her.
‘She thought it was a good idea.’
Blocker nodded. ‘It was a great idea!’
‘Yeah!’ We high-fived.
Tabby kept staring at me. ‘You didn’t tell her, did you? You were afraid of what she would say.’
‘You’re just jealous about how good I am at playing with fire.’
Sid and his gang rode into the park. He rode right up to me and said, ‘So let’s go.’
‘Me? Go where?’
‘Ridin’.’
‘Like in your gang?’
‘We heard you been telling everyone you’re in our gang. So let’s see how you go.’
They’d heard!
I didn’t know what to do.
‘Come on. Hurry up.’
I looked at Tabby and Blocker and I could see they were scared and I was too. I asked them if they wanted to ride as well but they didn’t.
Tabby said, ‘I don’t hang around with losers.’
Block just shook his head. Sid’s gang was starin
g at me, waiting. My only choices right now were to ride or run.
Tabby said, ‘The best thing for a burn is to run it under cold water.’
I think she was giving me a hint that I should run. But they were all right there and … I was too afraid to run…
‘Okay,’ I said.
How bad could it be anyway?
The three gang guys with Sid came over and high-fived me.
Their names were Jimmy, vinnie and Toddo.
We rode out of the park.
Blocker and Tabby watched me go and I saw Tabby shake her head and mouth the word ‘run’.
Sid rode up next to me.
‘So they still calling you that name?’
‘No. I told them not to and they stopped.’
‘Yeah, that school, I made them pay for calling me a name too. You belong with us.’
It was so strange riding with Sid. Every time we went past kids they moved away or hid, like I used to. vinnie was riding next to me and he said to me, ‘See, they’re all chickens and we can do anything we like because we’ve got the respect!’
‘So do you guys ever kick the footy around?’ I asked, seeing as it was one my most favourite things to do.
Vinnie looked at me like I was some kind of alien.
‘Footy?’
‘You know, when you’re not riding, scaring … er, getting respect.’
‘No. We ride until something happens.’
Something happened.
Toddo flattened someone’s letterbox!
He ran it over on his bike and then stomped on it until it was flat. Jimmy, vinnie and Sid laughed and told Toddo to stomp more. I started laughing too. I mean, I didn’t like what he was doing and I so wished he would stop, but I still laughed because I had to. They were watching me to see if I did.
‘See,’ said Vinnie, ‘we do what we like.’
I didn’t like it.
Vinnie handed me a football that some kids left behind when they ran away from us.
‘Here you go, you want to kick a footy, kick this away.’
They all watched me.
‘Kick it where?’
‘Away! Where they won’t find it.’
I kicked it as hard as I could. It went right over a house.
Sid approved. ‘Lucky to find that again.’
I watched the ball fly away and wished that it was me.
We rode off until Sid stopped next to three kids playing by the street. He got off his bike and grabbed one of them by the shirt. He lifted him right off the ground, growled at him like he was a dog and then dropped him.
The kid kind of crumpled at Sid’s feet.
Sid said to me, ‘Freddy, fight him.’
And I’m like, what? Fight him? I didn’t want to fight him. I didn’t even know him.
Sid said, ‘Fight him now or you’re not in our gang, and if you’re not in our gang then you’re one of them.’
When he said ‘them’ he pointed to the kid on the ground.
Vinnie, Jimmy and Toddo were nodding too. I looked over at them, trying to work out what was going on. They were nodding for me to do it but it was more than just for fun, it looked like they really wanted me to do it, needed me to do it. They were pleading with their eyes for me to do it.
‘But what for?’ I asked Sid.
‘Because I said so!’
He looked so fierce.
I realised that this was my initiation and that if I didn’t fight the kid then Sid and his gang would bash me.
I looked back at the others and they were still nodding. But there was something about the way they were looking at me that I couldn’t work out, as if they were frightened for me…
That didn’t matter though. What mattered was Sid. He was yelling, ‘Come on, Freddy,’ and thumping my shoulder, pushing me towards the kid.
The kid was about my size. He was standing up again, eyes wide and scared. His two friends were stuck with vinnie and Jimmy and Toddo.
I didn’t do anything so Sid yelled, ‘FIGHT HIM!’ right in my ear and shoved me so that I bumped into the kid.
‘Fight him to prove you’re one of us.’
I put my hands into fists.
They were all yelling at me to punch the kid, who had started crying. There was so much noise and shoving. Somehow through all the confusion
I thought of Tabby and how she had called this gang cowards.
I was a coward too. I couldn’t stand up to Sid. I couldn’t even run away when I had the chance. I couldn’t even tell my mum the truth. All because I was afraid. Maybe I deserved to be here. Maybe this was where all cowards who get called names in school end up.
I got shoved into the kid again, and I pushed him hard.
‘Yeah, Freddy,’ called Sid. ‘PUNCH HIM!’
I was thinking that maybe I could punch the kid if he punched me first.
‘Come on, punch me,’ I said to him, almost begging him.
The kid just sobbed, ‘I … I … I’m sorry.’
‘What for? For being so stupid?’ I said, hoping it would make him punch me.
He said, ‘For whatever I did wrong.’
The thing was, he hadn’t done anything wrong.
HE HADN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!
I was the one doing wrong.
It was me and I knew it and I knew that I couldn’t fight him.
I wasn’t a bully.
I hated what Sid and his gang were.
I HATED IT!
There was no way I was going to be like them. I had a choice and I was going to make it.
So I turned back to Sid.
Sid was looking extra big and mean and he was shouting at me,
‘Come on, Freddy, knock his block off.’
Vinnie, Toddo and Jimmy were also yelling at me.
I shouted back, ‘NO!’
Sid shut his mouth, stunned.
He was even more stunned by what I said next. I pointed at the kid and then his friends.
‘Not just him … I want to knock all their blocks off!’
Sid’s face broke into the most massivest evilest grin you ever saw.
‘All three of them? You want to smash all three of them? Yeah, smash ’em all!’
Vinnie, Jimmy and Toddo pushed the other two kids towards me and then circled around so they couldn’t run away.
I grabbed the kid in front of me and put him in a headlock. He was still crying. I could tell that he was super scared.
While I had him in the hold I whispered in his ear…
‘When I say run, you follow me as fast as you can and tell your friends to follow too.’
‘Okay,’ he whispered back.
I pushed him away and threw a punch that missed him and yelled,
‘NEXT TIME THAT PUNCH IS GONNA SMASH YOUR FACE!’
Sid and the others were calling for me to do it, so I stood there with my hands on my hips and said, ‘I’ll give you three a chance. Go on, huddle together, come up with a battle plan, and then I’ll smash you all.’
Sid was really impressed.
‘You rock, Freddy!’
They huddled together and I knew that they were talking about what I had whispered.
After a while I yelled, ‘Time’s up!’
They broke up all nervous, and I started saying, ‘Chickens, look at the chickens. Chickens!’
Sid and the others were yelling as well. They were all around us in a circle and it was so noisy.
They were yelling fight, fight, and pushing the kids closer to me.
Meanwhile, I was looking to see where my bike was and where they needed to run to get away and so I was moving around, and when we were in the right position I yelled,
‘RUN!!!’
And ran straight at Jimmy.
He wasn’t expecting anything like that.
I crashed straight into him, bowled him over and the three kids charged through the hole I made and bolted off.
As it turned out, it didn’t matter where they ran because Sid
and his gang were only interested in catching one person, and that was me.
‘AFTER HIM!’
I had a head start but Toddo caught up to me in no time at all and grabbed my shoulder.
Sid yelled, ‘Rip him off his bike!’
I felt Toddo’s grip tighten so I swerved away, making Toddo veer straight into a gutter.
‘Get him!’ yelled Sid. ‘Don’t let him go!’
One of their wheels nudged my back mudguard and I
nearly went down. Jimmy swung an arm at my head and I ducked. He slammed his bike into the side of mine and I would have gone down for sure, but I jumped my bike over the gutter and onto the footpath.
