“Oh, hello Ellis.”
“You look lovely.”
I fiddled with my necklace and looked all around the room, anywhere but at his face. I knew he was seeking eye contact. My stomach fluttered. Finally, with a deep breath, I looked up at him, and there they were, his melted chocolate eyes, waiting for mine.
“Your home is lovely too,” he continued, “and not a far walk from the boarding house where I am staying.”
“Are you a waiter here today?” I asked, looking at his uniform and tray of punch glasses.
“I pick up odd jobs on days off from the park. Would you like some punch?”
I nodded, and he lowered the tray for me to take one of the pink-filled cups.
“I can take a break now if you’d like to show me around,” he said. Without waiting for my answer, he put the tray down, braced my elbow and led me out to the front porch. Casually, he propped his shoulder on one of the posts, balanced on one foot, and crossed his ankle over the other. I sat down in one of the rocking chairs.
“I’m surprised you are so eager to leave this place,” he said. “Like Dorothy says, ‘There’s no place like home.’”
“I do like the house. I just want to see more. I want to see everything!” I said.
Slowly Ellis said, “Then I think you should.”
He had said this before, but this time it felt like an invitation. I looked at his hands, strong and wiry. They were big hands, hard and used, with dirt under his short fingernails. So unlike Papa, who, despite hard work, kept his nails meticulously clean. I could hear Papa now, his voice booming from behind the house, bursting with pride at his eldest having made such a fine match.
“You were right about one thing, though: I don’t know how to convince my father that I can go,” I lamented. “I have mentioned it a few times and he always says the same things about it being unwise for women to travel alone. He wants me to stay here, make a life in the delicatessen. But it simply isn’t what I want. I can’t imagine my life here, without experiencing other places, other scenery. Reading about it in books is not enough for me. The more I read, the more I yearn to experience it for myself.”
“Maybe the solution is simpler than you realize. Maybe you don’t go alone,” Ellis said. Though his words were confident, his chin was turned down and his eyes were hesitating, looking up at me through his thick eyelashes.
“Pardon me?” I blushed.
He waited a moment, looked up at the porch ceiling. “Would your father be happier if you traveled with an escort, someone who could earn money as well?”
A shocked laugh escaped my lips. Ellis was so bold, too bold. I had no answer for him. There were footfalls on the porch steps and Oliver appeared. He tugged at my skirt, saving me from yet another inappropriate conversation with Ellis, but one I desperately wanted to continue.
“Time to say goodbye to Ivy!” His little hand grabbed mine and pulled. A crowd passed by us on the porch and gathered along the street’s edge. Ivy, now changed into her honeymoon suit, made a grand exit from the front door with her new husband by her side. They descended the porch steps to the street without a sideways glance at us. William opened the door of his touring car to allow Ivy to get in. With a grand salute toward the guests, he climbed in himself. A moment later, the engine roared to life and they jostled down the road, away from the waving crowd.
I looked back at Ellis only to find that he was no longer standing on the porch with me. Oliver was hanging halfway off the railing and the two of us watched the other guests disperse. Mama exchanged kisses with many people, her own cheek lightly brushing cheek after cheek. I took Oliver’s hand and led him to the backyard.
“Did you have a fun day, Ollie?”
He nodded, his hot hand sweaty in mine. His eyelids were heavy and we sat down in the shade.
“Tell me a story, Tish,” he asked. He leaned against me and fiddled with the blades of grass to our side.
“Once upon a time there was a little girl named Alice,” I began. “She was sleepy like you and so settled down in the grass for a nap, when all of a sudden she saw a white rabbit.”
The wait staff, including Ellis, busied themselves cleaning up the yard. They whisked away the dirty dishes and removed the tablecloths and chairs. Oliver’s eyes got heavy, Alice met the Cheshire Cat, and soon the backyard was just as it was before.
Groaning, I hoisted Oliver up and brought him inside the house and up to bed. I settled him and went downstairs to help Mama. Back in the foyer, I felt a hand on my elbow. “It’s time for me to go,” Ellis said, his voice close and soft in my ear.
I stood still, hoping he would ask to see me again. When he remained silent, I said, “Yes, of course.”
“I was glad to spend the afternoon with you.”
I smiled. “Me too.”
The swish of layered skirts announced Mama’s arrival. “Well, hello. I don’t think we have met. I’m Mrs. Hess, Ivy and Tish’s mother. And you are?”
“Ellis Cassidy, ma’am. Your home is beautiful.”
“Thank you,” Mama said, looking a bit confused.
“Well, we are just about finished here. I met your daughter at the park a few weeks back, and just wanted to say goodbye.”
“Lovely to meet you Mr. Cassidy. Thank you for your assistance today.” With a nod and sideways look at me, she took her leave.
“Right, well. Tish, I must be going,” Ellis said, placing his straw boater hat on his head. Quickly, and catching me completely by surprise, his lips brushed mine in an exquisitely tiny kiss. My shock was bright, like lightning, intense and brief, leaving me unsure if it had really happened.
Ellis closed the front door behind him and I turned to see Papa standing there, his eyes cold.
●●●
Papa slowly folded his arms across his chest. He waited. My heart pounded in my ears.
“Local boy?” he asked. His words sliced straight through me. My ears were suddenly hot.
“No, but he works at the park,” I said.
“Seems to me he works for the caterer. How do you know him?”
“I met him the day I went to the park with Ivy and William. That is his usual job—he said he gets odd jobs on his off days,” I explained. “I suppose that is why he was working here today. I don’t know.” My words came out too quickly. They sounded like excuses. I was flustered by the kiss and by Papa witnessing it. Papa was not impressed with my explanations.
“It occurs to me that if you don’t know a man very well that you should not be allowing him to kiss you,” Papa said. His voice was gaining anger.
“Yes, Papa, I know. That was too bold of him.”
“Indeed.” He nodded. A decision had been made. “I don’t want you to see him again.”
“But, Papa!” I swallowed hard. My jaw set stiff and I tasted iron. I couldn’t go West, I couldn’t see Ellis, I couldn’t find my way out from under Papa’s thumb. His rules were infuriating.
“I’m not going to stay here and be your spinster daughter, working for you in the shop forever!” I shouted. “One way or another, sooner or later, I’m leaving.”
“Oh, that’s rich. What a daughter you are turning out to be, kissing strangers, forsaking your family!”
His disappointment in me cut like a knife, but I soldiered on, afraid if I gave up now that I would lose the battle forever.
“Papa, why can’t you understand that I don’t want what you want, what Ivy wants?”
He waved me off with both hands. “You’re too young to know what you want.”
“I’m not, Papa,” I said, getting quiet now. “I don’t want to work at the delicatessen.”
His eyes were steel. “You will work at the delicatessen and you will stop seeing that man. I’ve raised you better than this.” I began to protest again, but he cut me off. “I’ve said my peace.”
I fled upstairs to my bedroom, grateful to have it all to myself. I paced back and forth, furious and impotent, my hands in fists at my hips. Rage
colored my cheeks and furrowed my brow. Mama arrived in the doorway, soft as a cat.
“I heard what happened,” she said.
I waited for her reprimand, but it didn’t come.
“Oh, Mama!” I cried, flying into her arms, my tears breaking the dam and spilling over. I leaned into her, my chest heaving and spirit broken. “I’ll never be allowed to do anything, Mama, ever.”
Mama smoothed my hair and led me to the edge of the bed to sit. She made hushing sounds to calm me. They merely reminded me of how much of a child I still was considered to be and I cried even harder. I was locked in this life, trapped by the mere happenstance of being born a girl.
I didn’t know if Ellis was my way out, or if I even wanted him to be, but I wasn’t going to let my father dictate my life choices anymore. I snuffled and swallowed my tears, pulling out of Mama’s embrace. I squared my shoulders but let Mama wipe my cheeks. Her smile was soothing, and I’d miss her when I was gone.
●●●
Tension remained between Papa and me, but I worked hard and stayed out of his way. A few days later, Papa flipped the sign on the shop door to CLOSED and fetched the bucket. He handed me the mop and disappeared into the back. Suds glistened on the floor and the mop squelched as I pushed it back and forth over the tile. Outside the window, fireflies lit pinpoints of fairy dust, and I tried to predict where they would light up next. A man in a blue jacket walked by and I instantly recognized his profile. Ellis was strolling, hands in his pockets, eyes down on the pavement. I hastily put the mop and bucket away and called out that I was heading home. Without waiting for an answer, I rushed to the street and hustled to catch up to him.
“Hello!” he said, turning to the sound of my quick feet.
“Hello,” I said. I was suddenly mortified having chased after him. Papa would be furious. I didn’t care.
“I just finished at the park,” he said.
“Yes, we just closed up too.”
“Are you free then?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Would you like to see a movie?”
I nodded again. Papa would be livid if he found out. But he wouldn’t find out.
“Is there a back door?” I asked.
Ellis laughed. “Why?”
“Well, that is my father’s shop,” I said, pointing, “and he is still in there…” I trailed off, embarrassed to mention the event at the wedding that had triggered my father’s anger.
“He can’t see us go in?”
“He wouldn’t like it.”
Ellis considered this. “Let’s walk around the block, the long way. There is a side entrance. Perhaps it will be open tonight.”
We strolled and he was charming. He pulled candy out of his pocket and offered me one. I unwrapped the taffy, pulling the paper wrapper from the sticky sweet with some difficulty. Thin sugary strands along the edges fought back, separating into threads.
“They’re the newest thing. They are called Mary Janes. Have you ever had one?” Ellis asked.
After taking a bite, the candy instantly embedded itself in my teeth. I shook my head no, unable to reply.
Once our mouths were ungummed, he said, “They are good, aren’t they?”
I nodded. A subtle peanut flavor filled my palate as the stickiness slowly dissolved. I crumpled the wrapper and stuck it in the pocket of my skirt.
I looked periodically over my shoulder, certain that Papa was right on our heels.
“Everything all right?” Ellis asked.
“Papa is fairly strict, and he saw us… um… together, in the foyer, at my sister’s wedding. He is still angry.”
He nodded and grinned, but said no more about the kiss. Instead, he asked me more about Ivy and Oliver. I told him how it was hard to shine in Ivy’s shadow, and how much I adored Oliver.
“How about your family?” I asked. “Are they still out in California?”
“They’ll be there forever. Ma and Pa are miserable people, stuck in a life they both hate. Pa has a bad shoulder, and so it is hard for him to keep a job. They never really got along, my parents, always bickering and griping at each other. They are both the kind of people who constantly complain but never actually do anything to improve their situation. I’m their only child, and they were always involving me in their disputes, asking me to take sides. I spent my childhood dreaming of the places I could go, other cities I could live in, away from them. I never understood how they could stay together, hating their lives as they did. I got out as soon as I could.”
“You talk about wanting to go back to California, though.”
“California itself is great. I don’t ever want to slow down, though, stay in one place like my parents did. They are mired in unhappiness, miserably rooted to one spot.” He shuddered at the thought. “I won’t even be here in Willow Grove much longer.”
“I beg your pardon?” I thought maybe I hadn’t heard him correctly.
“The park season is almost over, and I won’t have a job once it closes. It will be time to move on, try somewhere new.”
He shrugged. It was casual, infuriating. Our footsteps echoed in my ears. He was leaving so soon? I could taste the disappointment thickening at the back of my throat, sharp and metallic. What about all that he had said about perhaps going West together? My cheeks boiled with embarrassment. Why had I chased after him? If caught with Ellis, surely Papa would tighten his reins on me, and for what? Why did I jeopardize any chance at all to earn my father’s trust for a man who was busy planning his next destination on the map without me? Why did Ellis even invite me to the movies? Perhaps I was just another girl in another town, someone to have a little fun with and then leave behind.
We walked the rest of the way around the block without speaking. The theater marquee was surrounded by white bulbs. A Fool There Was starring Theda Bara and Edward José was spelled out above the ticket booth. I felt like a fool myself. Inside, I shuffled my feet and avoided any conversation starters that Ellis sent my way. I considered leaving, but didn’t want to risk Papa to see me walking out. I’d stay for the first twenty minutes of the show. By then, Papa would be on his walk home.
I was grateful for the dark theater where Ellis wouldn’t be able to see me. We sat next to each other as I slowly built a wall between us. Suddenly, his hand snaked out toward me. He opened his fist and in his palm was another Mary Jane. I shook my head, declining the candy and any further kindness from him, focusing intently on the screen.
Virginia was sitting a few rows ahead of us, carelessly flicking popcorn into her mouth, gazing around the theater, completely ignoring a boy I didn’t recognize seated next to her. As she scanned the crowd, she spotted me and waved with enthusiasm. I waved back with a simple shake of my wrist, wishing to be invisible. I could feel the mortification on my face and was sure that everyone could see it too. Virginia squinted to see who I was with. Ellis gave her a smart wave, as if to confirm that I was there with him. A bit flustered, she smiled and turned around to face front quickly.
The lights in the theater lowered and the black and white images danced silently across the screen, punctuated by the sound effects made in the balcony. It was hard for me to concentrate, my thoughts so focused on my own impulsive foolishness. Ellis looked at me from time to time, and though I could feel him wanting me to look back at him, I stared straight ahead.
The ominous music echoed my mood, but I was soon thankfully lost in the magic of the film. When the movie was over, we rode the crowd out of the theater, cascading as a group onto the sidewalk. I could hear the high voice of Virginia calling out to us. Ellis found my hand and held it tightly in his, pulling me out of the crush. I wanted to take my hand away but couldn’t deny how wonderful his hand felt cradling mine and so allowed it until we were alone further down the road.
“Are you all right?” Ellis asked.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“You became very quiet all of a sudden.”
“I was watching the movie. Isn’t that what
we were meant to be doing?”
“But before that too. And we were meant to be enjoying it together.”
“Why? You are leaving in a few weeks. What is the point of us even getting to know each other? Why did you even ask me to the movies?”
“I wanted to spend some time with you.”
“Is this what you do? Meet a girl in each new town, be charming, give her candy, make her interested in you, and then leave? On to the next?” My volume and word speed were increasing as I nearly spit at him.
“No, Tish. I really do like you. There have been other girls in other towns, yes, but I have never met anyone like you. You’re smarter than most girls, though, funnily enough, you can’t even comprehend how interesting you truly are. Most girls I meet want a house and family. You talk about art and travel and experiencing new things. Those are things we both want.”
“Yes, but the difference is that you will get to do it all. I’ll be stuck here, only dreaming about it.” My fate washed over me. Everything was as it had been before I met him. It was as if he never existed. I deflated and my anger was gone. “Maybe I should just go home.”
“If that is what you want.”
He took my hand again, gently, but held it secure, and made as if to walk me home. My nerves crackled like kindling on fire, but I knew I needed to douse the flames.
“Goodbye, Ellis,” I said, removing my hand from his. “It was very nice getting to know you. I wish you the best of luck wherever you are headed next.”
“Tish, wait.”
I didn’t. I couldn’t. Yes, he was handsome and exciting, but none of that mattered because he was leaving town. I felt abandoned as well as jealous of his ability to simply up and go. I turned quickly away from him and hurried alone up the hill toward my house, closing the door on us.
Inside, Papa and Mama were in the sitting room. They both flew to their feet when I came through the door.
“Tish, where ever have you been? You left the shop hours ago! We were worried sick!” Mama said.
“I’m sorry, Mama. I ran into Virginia and we went to the movies.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, and it rolled off my tongue easily. The truth didn’t matter. Ellis wouldn’t be in town long enough to anger my father further. “I should have sent word, but I just got wrapped up in the film.”
An Imperfection in the Kitchen Floor Page 10
