When she finished, silence fell about the room. Warden Bulger adjusted his glasses.
“Thank you, Detective Spaulding. We are aware of Detective Barrett’s distinguished service and extend to you our heartfelt condolences for what has happened,” he said.
Emma stared back at the Warden, able only to offer a curt nod as she felt anticipation threaten to overwhelm her thin cool exterior.
“Is the board at this time prepared to render a vote,” he said, looking again to his left and his right. Six heads nodded.
Emma looked to her left. She knew it always started there. Like a lit fuse, the vote of each member would proceed down the line. And then it did.
“Nay.”
“Nay.”
“Nay.”
The votes continued and with each pronouncement, Emma could feel her throat closing up tighter. An ache exploded in her head and there was a pain in her jaw which she knew was because her teeth were clenched. When the last board member had rendered their decision, Warden Bulger nodded and looked at Emma. Here was her last hope. The Warden had the power to override the board’s decision. The previous one never did, and she hoped this new one might consider doing that now. The Warden took a long moment, looking down at the file in front of him.
“All I’m asking for is five minutes. I don’t want that Mouth Jamm—Caster released, I just need him persuaded to change Detective Barrett back,” she said, feeling the red rage burning in her stomach.
Across from her, the Warden adjusted his glasses. For a reason she couldn’t really process, the gesture made her want to slug him, hard.
“And how exactly would you persuade him, Detective Spaulding? Hmm?” Warden Bulger said, looking at her again.
The urge to smash his face into the table top became almost overwhelming. As she thought about how good it would feel, she realized she had not answered the warden’s question. She realized that she might need ten minutes to persuade the Caster, alone with him of course. Her silence, however, seemed to be the only answer the warden needed.
“As a point of fact, Detective Spaulding, your quest of a remedy was not, strictly, the only reason you left the force, is it? You were, as a point of fact given the opportunity to resign, were you not?” Bulger said, pulling another file from beneath the first one and opening it up.
Emma worked her jaw and decided that though his parents hadn’t named him Richard, he was still a dick.
“March 14th, May 21st, August 5, September 27th, October 12th, and December 25th. Six reprimands in ten months, all for abuse of power and excessive force. All against purveyors,” he said.
If ‘Mouth-Jammer’ was the cops vernacular for spell casters, ‘Purveyors’ was the prettied up word used by pencil pushers. 'Mouth-Jammers' and Super-Nats', Cop jargon used to differentiate between the ‘Normies’, average, everyday humans and the rest of the weirdness on two or more legs. Emma felt a vein in her forehead beating time to her slamming heart as her lower jaw threatened to chip a tooth.
“This last reprimand was on Christmas Day, for heaven’s sake, Detective. Can you explain that?” Warden Bulger said.
“What can I say? Cops and Santa know who's naughty or nice. That Super-Nat must have been naughty," she said.
The Warden’s face sank and he let out a sigh. It was then she knew she was fucked. If she were completely honest with herself, she would’ve said she knew that before this little charade even started.
“Yes, well, you see our problem, don’t you, Detective Spaulding? It is not only the public safety we have to think about here is it? I mean you say you would hope to persuade the incarcerated to make reparations, but any persuading you might do would almost surely put Inmate 4076182 into the prison infirmary. And that’s if he didn’t conduct a ruse and change everybody into a parrot,” Warden Bulger said.
The fact that it looked like he regretted his words didn’t mean a thing to Emma. She stood up and leaned forward, smacking her hands down hard on the table. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the other members of the board jump, but she didn’t take her eyes off the Warden.
“Now you listen to me. Detective Barrett went down in the line of duty, understand? He went down, and I didn’t, and that shouldn’t have happened. I swore to him I would spend every day after that one getting him back. You give me five minutes with that Mouth-Jammer. You do it now and we never have to see each other again,” she said, keeping a laser-like stare on Bulger.
Bulger stared up at her for a minute, then cleared his throat.
“I’m sorry, Detective Spaulding. I join with the board in denying your request. Prisoner 4076182 has proven to be hostile and dangerous, willing to use magic to hurt people in the advance of a nefarious plan of total domination. There could be no satisfactory guarantee that if allowed to use his magic, he wouldn’t unleash his conjuring on everyone around him. I would like to express again our deep condolences for what has happened, but the threat to the public welfare is just too great. We wish you all the best in your endeavors to find a cure for Detective Barrett, but the decision of this board is unanimous,” he said.
Emma’s fingers curled on the table. For just a second she really thought she was going to grab him by the back of the head and play Whack-A-Mole with his face. With every ounce of strength she had, she withdrew her hands, and stood up.
“I am very sorry, Detective. You are free to submit your request again in—”
“In six months. Yeah. You bet your ass I’ll see you in six months,” she said, cutting off his words.
She stormed out of the room, leaving the review board sitting in stunned silence.
4
Emma swerved her rusty subcompact through the twisting lanes of the Hemisphere Haven Campgrounds And Family Funpark. The car’s suspension creaked in protest. Families on golf carts careened out of her way as she tore through the park. Sour looks joined squeaking tires as they skidded to a halt in the landscaped dirt by the sides of the road. She rounded a turn and almost sent a man in clashing Hawaiian shirt and beach shorts into the ditch. She checked her rear view mirror to see that he was all right and was rewarded with raised arms and shouts of displeasure. In a flash of consternation, Emma threw her arm out the window and flipped him off before fishtailing around the last turn heading to her trailer. The little car rocked to a halt in a cloud of dust. Emma threw her body against the door. It opened on the third attempt.
Launching herself out of the car, she turned and slammed the door, only to have it bounce back at her. This too repeated itself three times. Emma wondered if the car was fucking with her, refusing to open for her one minute, then refusing to close the next. It only added to her angst and made her more determined to spend the rest of the day in a bottle. Her agitation blinded her and she barely noticed the woman standing by the door to her trailer. The woman raised her hand and looked like she was about to say something, but Emma didn’t allow that to stop her. In a flash, she was inside, the trailer much more cooperative than her car at allowing its door to be slammed on the first attempt.
Looking around, a jumble of disorganization greeted her. Dirty clothes went flying through the air as Emma tore into the mess like a dust devil in high wind.
“Take it easy, ya crazy—” Barrett the parrot squawked, as a tee shirt launched into the air and covered him up, cutting off his protest.
Emma grinned broadly as she discovered her prize. Holding it up in front of her, she reckoned that half a fifth of tequila was enough, enough to get her started, anyway. She twisted off the lid and threw it somewhere. She was halfway to her first sip when a knock on the door stopped her. Emma cast a sidelong glance and vaguely remembered someone standing outside. Emma waited a second to see if it would repeat or if the intruder would get the hint faster than most and move on. When another knock did not immediately follow, she brought the bottle to her lips. The remedy was almost to her mouth when the second knock sounded. Now she was pissed. She dropped her arm to her side and felt the sip that should have b
een hers splash on her hand. Stomping over to the door, she flung it open, scaring the woman looking up at her and causing her to flinch.
“Are you, uh… Ms. Spaulding, Emma Spaulding?” the woman said.
Emma narrowed her eyes, thoughts of possible deeds that would merit complaints from patrons of the campground filled her mind. She opted for the path of least resistance.
“No. I’m not,” she said, and began to pull the door closed.
“But this is her trailer, right?” the woman said, clutching her purse in front of her like a shield.
Emma put her hand on her hip and glared. She took a drink, now more for spite than anything.
“Lady, if I’m not Spaulding, what the hell would I be doing in her trailer? Huh?” Emma said, feeling the welcoming warmth of the alcohol and deciding she was definitely on the right track there.
She continued to stare down at her intruder who cleared her throat and pointed weakly at the side of the trailer.
“Well, I just thought, you… I mean it says right there, ‘Emma Spaulding Paranormal Detective Agency’,” the woman said.
Emma’s face went slack and she scrambled for an explanation, stalling by taking another drink.
“Yeah, well, Emma… died. Horrible… camping accident. There were… marshmallows,” Emma said, feeling chagrin wrecking her burgeoning buzz.
“Please, I don’t know what else to do. My husband has gone missing and—”
“I don’t take missing person cases, lady. Try the cops,” Emma said, cutting her off.
“So, does that mean you are, Emma Spaulding?” the woman said.
Emma shifted her feet. Not knowing how else to proceed, she slammed the door shut.
Turning away, she took a step. Barrett squawked as he shook off the tee shirt.
“Bad customer service! Need money for laundry!” he said.
“Shut up,” Emma said, her lip curled in a sneer.
Another pull of tequila and she started to feel better. Outside, the woman was still making her pitch. Emma brought the bottle up and dragged it across her forehead with a heavy sigh.
“It was the other night, see. We were celebrating at the Hemisphere Suites. It was our anniversary and… Well, anyway, he ran away,” the woman said, her voice breaking.
Emma huffed.
“Well, case closed then! He’s not missing, he’s gone! That’ll be a hundred dollars. Plus expenses,” she said, holding up the bottle and looking at it.
Outside, the woman did not appear to be getting the hint.
“Well, I don’t think the cops can really help me with this. I mean, I know this is Hemisphere and anything can happen, but this seemed more your area of expertise,” the woman said.
Emma tilted the bottle back, determined to wait the woman out.
“He was in the bathroom, getting ready for our night of lovemaking…”
Emma winced and put her free hand over her ear. With the other, she took another swig.
“… and then he ran out of the room. I mean I think it was him. There certainly wasn’t one in the bathroom when he went in. I mean a person would notice something like that, I would think,” the woman said.
Emma took a breath, ready to tell the woman there was going to be a real missing person if she didn’t get off her property. She lost her chance when the woman picked up her rambling anew.
“Anyway, I kinda do think it was him, cause when I checked the bathroom, he wasn’t there. Ms. Spaulding… I think my husband turned into… a Sasquatch,” she said.
Emma dropped the bottle mid-swig. It bounced on the linoleum and rolled under the tattered couch as her coughing fit wracked her whole body. Catching her breath, Emma flung the door open and stared down at the woman, who took a cautious step back, white knuckling her purse under her chin.
The two women stared at each other a second, when smoke from a nearby campfire wafted over, the smell of bacon making Emma’s stomach rumble noticeably. Turning, Emma stuck out her arm and Barrett jumped from his perch and settled on her shoulder.
“I’ll take the case. A hundred dollars a day, plus expenses. Follow me to Big Ed’s and you can tell me all about it,” Emma said, pushing past the woman and struggling with her car door.
The woman stared at Emma.
“Why Big Ed’s?” she said, as Emma won her battle with the handle.
Three quick slams later, Emma leaned out of her window.
“Cause Breakfast is an expense, lady,” she said.
5
Emma was mopping up the egg yolk on her second order of the breakfast sampler at Big Ed’s before she noticed the woman staring at her.
“What?” Emma said, pushing aside the clean plate and wiping her mouth off with a napkin.
“Oh, nothing. I just never saw anybody eat as fast as you did, who wasn’t, you know, starving,” the woman said.
Emma wasn’t paying attention, though, occupied with giving Barrett some parrot food from her pocket. Barrett perched on the napkin dispenser and spit out seed husk onto the table.
“Or as much…” the woman added under her breath.
“What?” Emma said again, finally ready to listen to what the woman had to say.
“Who’s your little friend? He’s a cute one,” the woman said, sticking out her finger. A jerk of Barrett’s head and the woman pulled her finger back, sticking it in her mouth and nursing the pain from Barrett’s bite.
“He’s not my little friend, okay? He’s my partner and his name is Sully Barrett. Got it? So when I say a hundred bucks a day plus expenses, don’t be surprised when Parrot food shows up on the bill. We’re a package deal, understand?” Emma said.
She pulled out a steno pad and a pen from the inner pocket of her leather jacket. When she was ready, she looked up at the woman, who was again staring at her.
“What? Geeze, do you always stare this much?” Emma said.
The woman shook her head and shifted in the booth.
“Sorry, it’s just that… your partner is a parrot?” she said.
Emma felt the awkwardness building, and she brushed a lock of her fire-engine red hair from her face.
“Yeah, so? He’s a good investigator. We were partners on the force before… I went into the private sector,” Emma said, flipping to a blank page.
“His name is Barrett?” the woman said.
“Yeah,” Emma said.
“Barrett the Parrot?” the woman said, a thin smile creeping across her face.
Emma could feel herself losing it. She threw down the pad and leaned across the table.
“Yeah, well, he wasn’t always a parrot, right? Some Mouth Jammer changed him into one. I’ve been trying to change him back, but the one that did it is rotting in Super Max and I can’t get to him. Now, do you want to talk about my parrot—partner all day, or shall we get going on this case of yours, cause it’s all the same to me, lady. We’re on the clock here and it’s your hundred,” Emma said, leaning back.
Across from her, the woman looked down, her hands resting on her purse in front of her.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean—I want to get going on my case,” she said.
“I mean it doesn’t seem like you have a lot of room to talk, lady. Your husband is a Sasquatch,” Emma said, leaning her arms on the table and looking out the window.
“Sorry, I’m very sorry,” the woman said, looking genuinely forlorn.
Emma looked at her and sighed.
“Forget it. Just tell me what happened, Ms. uh…“ Emma said, trying to remember her new client’s name and wondering if she even gave it to her yet.
“Audri. Audri Tidwell,” Audri said.
Emma wrote the name down on her pad.
“Uh-huh. And your husband? What’s his name?” Emma said.
The woman took off her jacket and set it and her purse in the booth beside her.
“Harry,” she said.
Emma looked up from her pad and stared at the woman.
“What?” Audri said.
Audri shifted in her seat and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, avoiding Emma’s glare.
“Yes, what of it?” Audri said, softly.
“And you wanna talk about my parrot? You’ve got no room. NO Room,” Emma said, returning her attention back to her pad and writing down the husband’s name.
“I said I was sorry,” Audri said, crossing her arms and looking petulant.
Emma waved her hand dismissively.
“Okay, now let’s hear it. What happened?” she said, sitting back and looking at Audri.
“Well, I just don’t know what happened. Like I said, Harry was in the bathroom getting ready—”
“Yeah, I got that part. He comes out only he ain’t Harry anymore and he takes off. Okay, but can you think of any reason why he would change? Was he a Super-Nat?” Emma said.
Audri gave Emma confused look.
"Purveyor. Caster or a Shifter?" Emma said.
Audri shook her head.
“No, he was just a man. A very dear and sweet man. He wasn’t any of those other things,” she said.
Emma nodded noncommittally.
“Okay, well, was there anyone who didn’t think he was so dear and sweet? Anybody who might have had it out for Harry and changed him into the Sasquatch, maybe to get revenge on him for something?” Emma said.
Audri took a sip of water and Emma noticed her hands were shaking a little.
“No, that’s just it. Everybody loved Harry. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body. I can’t imagine who would want to hurt him. There’s no reason this should have happened,” Audri said.
“Alright, let’s go back a bit. You were at the Hemisphere Suites, getting ready for a… what did you do before that, I mean like that day?” Emma said.
Audri looked up like she was thinking.
“Okay, well, it was our anniversary. I had surprised Harry with a piece of our wedding cake. I had kept it frozen. He surprised me with two tickets for a hot air balloon ride,” Audri said.
Emma Spaulding Paranormal Detective: Sasquatch (A Hemisphere Story Book 1) Page 2
