Trey, who was trying to hit the ball without sending it sailing across the yard, noticed Travis as he ogled Tess’ upper anatomy. Shooting his brother a warning glare, Trey followed it with a good-natured wink.
Travis cleared his throat and stepped back from Tess. “I think you’ve got the hang of it now.”
He watched her hit the ball a few more times and decided he needed to do something to cool down. Visiting the dessert table he scooped up a big bowl of banana ice cream and took a bite. The flavors exploding on his tongue took him back to summers when he was a gangly adolescent and Tess was learning her way around the kitchen. She enjoyed making different flavors of ice cream. He thought it was the summer he was thirteen that she made a different flavor almost every day for a month. The unanimous winner was banana.
Sitting down near some neighbors he hadn’t seen for a while, Travis visited while he ate the ice cream then helped himself to a second bowl. He had forgotten just how good it tasted.
“Did you save me some?” Tess asked, sitting down next to him and looking into his half-empty bowl.
“Nope. You’ll have to get your own, honeybee,” Travis said, spooning up a big bite.
“I would, but it’s all gone,” she said, looking at him with her lip stuck out in the pout that used to get any one of the five boys in the Morgan and Thompson clans to do her bidding. Only this time, instead of finding it cute and endearing, Travis thought it looked seductive.
“Here,” he said, holding out his spoon to her. She took the bite and savored the cold confection, closing her eyes and enjoying the flavor. Travis watched her swallow and lick her full lower lip. He was strongly battling the desire to lick her lip as well.
“That’s pretty good, if I do say so myself,” Tess said, giving him a smile and eying the melting ice cream in his bowl. “You better hurry up and finish that or I’ll have to go find you a straw.”
“You want some more,” Travis said, holding out the dripping spoon.
“No, you go ahead,” Tess said, shifting her skirt to keep from getting ice cream splatters on it. “I can always make some more another day.”
“Promise you’ll let me know when you do,” Travis said, eating the rest of the ice cream so fast, it gave him a brain freeze and he winced.
Tess laughed. “You never could finish a bowl without giving yourself a headache.”
“Well, maybe if you didn’t make it so good, I wouldn’t have this problem,” Travis said, massaging the spot over his eye that was aching.
“You, my friend, need to learn restraint and moderation,” Tess said, getting up from the table and gathering up trash. It was almost dark and the yard was emptying out. Brice and Ben were scrubbing the barbecues while Mike and Trey cleaned up the roasting pit area. Trent and Lindsay already had the lawn games packed and started folding up chairs and loading them into the pickup. Cady helped Michele carry food into the house and wipe off tables. Cass, who had run herself ragged, slept curled up on the front porch swing.
Travis loaded up tables and helped set the Running M Ranch yard back to rights. When they were all done, the only signs that a party had taken place were the bags of garbage lined up by the trash can and the scent of barbecue lingering in the air.
Watching while his family said their goodbyes and drove off, Travis waited until they left before thanking Michele and Mike. Teasing Brice, he inquired as to the whereabouts of his new girlfriend which made Brice flush bright red and say they had broken things off. Travis couldn’t say he was sorry.
Taking Tess by the hand, he asked her to walk him to his truck as he bid a final farewell to her family, who were going inside to bed.
Strolling along, Travis tried to think of something clever to say, something that would make Tess smile or laugh. Instead, he looked up at the sky and inhaled deeply as Tess’ scent floated around him. When they got to his pickup, he turned on the radio, opened the tailgate and tugged her up to sit on it beside him.
“It’s a beautiful night out, isn’t it,” she said, staring up at the inky sky riddled with twinkling stars.
The moon was full and bright, shining with enough light to allow Travis the ability to study every detail about Tess. She’d removed her hat at some point and her hair fell in a tumble of curls around her face and down her back. Her eyes were sparkling, a sure sign she enjoyed the evening. Tess had what appeared to be a chocolate child-sized handprint on the front of her skirt where a tiny hand pressed against her and the toe of one boot was decorated with drops of ice cream.
She looked like a woman very comfortable, at that moment, in her own skin. Skin that was soft, smooth and warm as it reflected the moonlight. Travis thought he would lose all control when she tipped her head back, exposing a creamy expanse of throat, releasing a contented sigh.
Bracing his arm behind her, Travis smiled when she shifted so she leaned against him, her head tucked against his shoulder. There were many times when they were growing up that she sat just like that, leaning against him, Brice, Trey, Trent or Ben, but tonight it was different. Tonight it was just the two of them - a man very interested in the sweet, alluring woman sitting beside him. There was nothing brotherly about his feelings or intentions.
They looked up at the stars not saying anything for a while then a slow song came on the radio and Travis got to his feet. Taking Tess’ hand in his, he kissed her palm and looked into her eyes.
“You promised me a dance,” he said, his voice deep and gravelly while his blue eyes glowed from an inner heat. “Will you dance with me?”
Tess couldn’t answer as she nodded her head. She knew she was playing with fire, but right now she couldn’t think of anything she’d like more than to be in Travis’ arms. If someone asked what song was on the radio, she couldn’t have said. All she knew was when Travis drew her into his arms and swayed to the music, she felt herself melting into him.
His hands ran up and down her back, shooting sparks of electricity through her entire being. When she felt his lips on her neck, she tipped her head to the side to grant him better access. She heard him moan as his hands settled at her lower back and he pulled her tight against him.
“Tessa, you taste so good,” he rumbled, running his lips along her neck and jaw.
She pulled his head up to meet her eager lips, kissing him long and deep. Pressing closer to Travis, she could feel his heart pounding against her own. Rubbing her hands gently across his shoulders and chest, he picked her up, setting her back on the tailgate.
Travis rained kisses on her cheeks, her eyelids, her chin, moving to her neck and along her shoulders. His lips followed the lacy edge of her neckline, right to the point where it buttoned in the front. That lace had called to him, taunted him, all evening. When they were playing croquet, he kept envisioning his lips trailing along that delicate edging, sampling every bit of skin it covered.
Reason had fled about the time Tess laid her head on his shoulder and Travis didn’t stop to think of the ramifications as he deftly undid the first then second and third buttons of her dress. Trailing hot kisses along the exposed skin, his fingers were slowly working their way from her waist up higher. Travis felt Tess put her hands to his head as his lips caressed her incredibly soft skin. If she was pulling him closer or pushing him away he couldn’t tell. He was working on the next button of her dress, when she slammed back into reality and sat up with a gasp. Eyes popping open, she stared at Travis and he could see hot shame wash over her face.
Pushing his hands aside, she quickly buttoned her dress, jumped off the tailgate and would have run into the house if he hadn’t grabbed her around the waist, hauling her back against him.
“Don’t run away, honeybee,” he said, his mouth close to her ear. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It was me and I’m sorry. Not for kissing you, not for wanting you, but for getting carried away.”
Tess relaxed her stiff stance against him and turned in his arms, tears dripping down her cheeks.
“I’m as much, if not more, t
o blame than you. But I told you before I can’t do this with you. I just can’t. You don’t want to grow up and settle down. You don’t want to share what’s in here,” Tess said, holding her hand over his still-pounding heart. “I need to love someone who doesn’t put up walls. Someone who won’t kill himself on a bull or a bike or goodness knows what. I want to love you, Travis, more than anything, but I just can’t. I’m sorry.”
Before Travis could say another word, Tess ran into the house and shut the door.
Swiping his hand over his face, Travis shut the tailgate, climbed in his truck and drove home.
Chapter Twelve
Love is never free ...
It is the most expensive emotion we have.
Laurell K. Hamilton
Fourth of July for many of the families in Grass Valley meant enjoying a fun day of picnics, barbecues and gatherings then loading into the car and driving somewhere to watch a fireworks display.
The Morgan and Thompson families decided to drive into The Dalles to watch fireworks bursting out over the river and Cass could hardly stop talking about it on the hour-long drive there.
“Why didn’t Uncle Travis come?” Cass asked for the third time, unable to understand that Travis had settled into a black mood the day after the Morgan’s barbecue and refused to come out of it. Teasing, yelling, pleading and ignoring him had gotten them nowhere and Trey and Trent were both at wit’s end as to what could be done to help their brother. Until he decided he needed help, there wasn’t a whole lot either of them could do.
Trey speculated on what pushed Travis off the edge into his current funk. If he was a betting man, he’d have to say it had something to do with sweet Tess Morgan and the way Travis was looking at her the night of the barbecue. Truth be told, she was looking right back at him. Although he was far from an expert on romance, Trey was madly in love with his bride of just seven months and could recognize the signs of love and longing well enough.
Early that morning, Travis stormed out of the house, saying he was riding in a rodeo in St. Paul and wouldn’t be back until late. Trey knew the reason Travis was avoiding spending the day with them was because Denni mentioned Tess was planning to bring her boyfriend to the fireworks show this evening.
It seemed completely juvenile of Travis to run away instead of facing whatever was challenging him head on. Trey was pretty certain that challenge was somehow wrapped up in Tess.
Denni mentioned several times what a nice young man Tess’ boyfriend Rick seemed to be, and Trey was happy for her. If Tess really wanted to get serious with someone and settle down, more power to her.
Unfortunately, he’d always thought she had a special place in her heart for Travis. Trey was pretty sure Travis had been in love with Tess since he was old enough to notice girls as something other than the carriers of cooties.
Pulling up in front of Denni’s house, where they were going to meet for dinner before the fireworks, Trey dropped off Cady and Cass at the front sidewalk then went to find a parking space further down the street.
Trent and Lindsay were going to Portland to watch the fireworks with her brother, Lonnie, and his girlfriend. Mike and Michele were already at Denni’s along with Brice and Ben.
As Trey ran back across the street toward the house, he watched Tess hurry out to greet a nice-looking man getting out of an expensive car. It had to be the “good doctor” as Travis referred to him.
Observing Rick, Trey noted that he treated Tess respectfully, kissing her cheek and handing her a bouquet of daisies. She buried her nose in the blooms and smiled at him, but Trey was somewhat pleased to see her smile didn’t quite fill her eyes. He held out hope of her becoming an official part of the Thompson family, since she’d been an honorary sister to him since the day she was born. After watching her smile at Travis the other night, he determined his little brother wouldn’t have to work too hard to win Tess’ heart.
If only his errant sibling could get his act together.
Sucking back a sigh, Trey decided to enjoy the evening and not let Travis’ absence take away from the fun. Raising a hand, he waved at Tess and offered a warm hello to the man she introduced as Rick. If Travis hadn’t disliked the guy so, Trey thought they could have probably been friends.
Tess looked around and noticed Travis’ absence. When she finally cornered Trey alone in the kitchen and asked where he was, he reluctantly told her at a rodeo.
“That’s just perfect,” Tess said, angry sparks shooting from her eyes. “Is he bound and determined to get himself killed? If he’s on a suicide mission, why’d he ever come home from Iraq? Wouldn’t it have been easier to get blown up over there than rip himself apart piece by piece?”
Taken aback by her outburst, Trey wasn’t sure what to say. Tess drew in a deep breath, putting her hand on his arm.
“I’m sorry, Trey. That was uncalled for. It’s just that he makes me so angry. Does he really not care what happens to him?”
“At this point, I honestly don’t know. He’s been in a mood for the past several days and nothing Trent or I say seems to be helping the problem.”
“He needs to just snap out of it,” Tess said, staring outside at the group gathered on Denni’s patio.
“You know that and I know that. The problem is Travis doesn’t seem to know it. Until he is ready to do something different, all we can do is be available to pick up the pieces.”
“My heart just can’t take any more of his craziness, Trey. I can’t patch him together one more time,” Tess said, tears filling her eyes. “The cost of loving Travis is a price too high to expect anyone to pay.”
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Travis knew he was acting like a spoiled brat, but he didn’t really care. Rather than face seeing Tess with the good doctor, he ran off to a rodeo that morning. He wasn’t even all that excited when he came in second for that day’s bull riding event.
Unlike before, the adrenaline rush didn’t take away his tension or bring the relief he sought. Instead, he felt coiled even tighter.
The usual female groupies were hanging around waiting for him after the rodeo and he considered going out with one of them. He knew it would only make him feel worse. Although he hadn’t entirely behaved like it lately, he was still a church-going man and clung, however tenuously, to the beliefs his parents instilled in him.
He had to find something to take away the awful tension, though.
Hitting the accelerator on his pickup, Travis drove at a speed that was guaranteed to get him a hefty ticket if he got caught. Amazingly, he made it to The Dalles without being pulled over. Glancing at the clock in his truck, he realized the fireworks show would still be going strong, so he pulled off the freeway and drove out to where his family would be watching.
Knowing he was in a foul mood and wouldn’t be good company, he just couldn’t stay away from the group. The possibility of seeing Tess was too strong. Parking his truck, it didn’t take him long to find his family. His mom, Michele and Mike sat in lawn chairs while everyone else was sprawled out on blankets, watching the fireworks explode over the water.
If he wasn’t mad, tense and irrational, Travis would have thoroughly enjoyed the show. It had been six years since he last sat here and watched the display fill the night sky with brilliant pops of light. He used to feel such a patriotic stirring in his heart on the Fourth of July. He loved his country, loved his freedom. Having spent six years defending all that he held dear, what he now felt was much more than a stirring. Nearly losing his life more than once in Iraq, Travis knew he would live and die for his country, his friends, and his family.
Taking in the group, Travis didn’t know if it would be worse to sit near enough to Tess he couldn’t see her boyfriend on the other side of her or far enough away he could watch them intently. He settled on sitting close and sank onto the blanket on the opposite side of Rick.
Tess gasped when he sat down, surprised by his presence. Rick looked at him around Tess, offering a smile as he stuck out his hand.
“Hi, Travis, Happy Fourth of July,” he said in a friendly manner. “I wanted to personally thank you for your service to our country.”
Travis didn’t respond, although he accepted Rick’s outstretched hand and nodded his head in acknowledgement.
“Where have you been?” Tess whispered hotly in Travis’ ear. The warmth of her breath, combined with the cinnamon scent from her gum was a heady combination. He wondered what she would do if he whipped his head around and gave her a big kiss. He wondered what they all would do if he threw her down on the blanket and ravished her with hot, searing kisses. The thought of their shocked faces, hers included, made him smile for the first time that day.
Travis was forced out of his musings when a warm little body crashed into his.
“Uncle Travis! I missed you all day,” Cass said, giving him a candy-sticky kiss on the cheek. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
“Thanks, kiddo,” Travis said, trying to dig deep and find a little enthusiasm to share with Cass. “Did you have a fun time today?”
“Yeah, but I wish you’d been home. Mama made all kinds of fun stuff to eat and Daddy took me on a horsey ride on Powder and Uncle Trent and Aunt Lindsay bought me a gigitytwirler,” Cass said, squirming around to sit in Travis’ lap and watch the fireworks.
“Whirligig,” Cady said, leaning around Trey and smiling at Travis. “Glad you could join us.”
“Thanks,” Travis said, giving Cady what he hoped would pass as a smile.
“How’d you do at the rodeo?” Trey asked, frowning as he took in Travis’ troubled stare. Travis looked even more upset now than he had when he left that morning. Trey hoped the rodeo would give Travis the release he obviously needed. Evidently, it hadn’t helped.
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