“Oh? You’ll be marrying too? I thought it was just Ellen getting married to Mr. Harris.”
Malinda smiled excitedly. “I’m marrying the other Mr. Harris. The sheriff.” It was the first time she’d said the words aloud and they felt good on her tongue. She was marrying Wesley, whom she loved. If he’d agree. She hoped she hadn’t made him too angry the night before.
“Ah, I didn’t realize that. I thought I was fixing your hair for your sister’s wedding.” Angela held the dress down for Malinda to step into and helped her bring it up over her shoulders. “Your waist is so tiny you don’t even need a corset.”
Malinda grinned. “Ellen says I should wear one anyway because it’s proper, but I don’t want to, so I don’t. She doesn’t even notice most of the time.”
Angela giggled. “Sometimes it’s fun to do things others don’t realize, isn’t it?” She buttoned up the back of Malinda’s dress and then walked in a slow circle around her. “You look wonderful. Who did this?” She pointed to a tiny flower embroidered into the collar of the dress.
Malinda looked down to see what she was talking about. “I did.”
“You’re very talented. You could make a good living with sewing skills in a mining town like this.”
Malinda looked at the younger girl in surprise. “I could?” She’d never thought of doing anything to help out with the income Wesley made, but she could easily do that. The more money they brought in the easier life would be. She wondered if it would bother Wesley if she did something like that.
“Yes, there are so many miners here who have to send away for shirts that don’t fit correctly. A woman who could take some fabric and turn it into a shirt that fits well is needed around here.” Angela put her things back into the bag she’d brought with her. “I hope you and the sheriff are very happy together.”
Malinda smiled. “I’m sure we will be. He’s a wonderful man.” She felt a little bit lighter at the thought of starting her own business, but had no idea how to go about such a thing. Maybe once she’d gotten used to being a housewife, she could look into it.
Angela left with a slight wave, and Malinda went to the mirror to see the final effect of the hairstyle with her wedding dress. She couldn’t help but smile. Wesley was going to be pleased, she was sure.
When she got downstairs, she saw Ellen and Patrick talking softly. Her sister looked so beautiful. Malinda couldn’t help but be thrilled Ellen was marrying the man she loved.
She walked straight to Wesley and kissed his cheek. They went out to the buggy and he helped her into the back as he had the first day they’d met. She sat with him while Patrick drove to the chapel. Normally they’d have walked, but it was too far in their wedding shoes.
“I do want to marry you today, Wesley.” She spoke softly, so the couple in the front wouldn’t be able to hear her.
He turned to her, his eyes searching hers. “Are you sure?” She nodded, and he hugged her close. “I’m so glad. I’ll be a good husband to you.”
“I know you will.” She paused for a moment biting her bottom lip. “I do have something I want to ask you, though.” How to say it?
He raised an eyebrow. “What’s that?”
“Well, the main reason I’ve been waiting is I’m a little afraid of what will happen tonight.” She blushed as she said the words, but determinedly plowed on, certain if she didn’t say it now she’d never find the courage. “Would you be willing to hold off on the wedding night for a week or two until we get to know one another better?”
“You’re serious?”
She nodded. “Please?”
Wesley felt anger fill him. He’d spent every waking moment dreaming of making love to the woman beside him since the moment he met her, and she was saying she didn’t want to share his bed? But she still wanted to marry him? “Yes, we’ll wait. If you don’t want me touching you, we’ll wait forever.” He stared out the side of the carriage and refused to say another word.
“Wesley, you’re taking it wrong. I do like it when you touch me. I love it when you touch me. I’m just afraid of what the wedding night will be like. Please don’t be angry.” Malinda was panicked that she’d made him so angry he wouldn’t be able to forgive her, and she didn’t want that. She just wanted a week or two. Was that so bad?
He helped her down from the buggy and looked at Patrick, his eyes flat and angry. “We’ll be getting married today, too.”
Malinda looked at Ellen who smiled at her happily. Malinda wanted to cry. She was marrying the man she loved, but she’d angered him so much, he couldn’t even look at her.
The wedding passed in a blur. She and Ellen walked down the aisle together holding each other’s arms, but when she got to the front and stood beside Wesley, his stiff posture beside her had her shaking with fear. How could she have messed up so badly and made him that angry? Just twenty four hours ago, she’d been sure he’d do anything for her, and now he was so angry he wouldn’t look at her. What had she done?
When the preacher told Wesley and Patrick to kiss their brides, Wesley planted a brief, stiff kiss on her lips. There was no tenderness at all. She wanted to go back in time by an hour and take back the words she’d said to him, but it was too late. Why hadn’t she listened to Ellen? Why was Ellen always right about everything?
After the wedding, they went back to Patrick’s house for a wedding lunch. Malinda was overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who had gone to the wedding and the lunch afterward. She sat beside Wesley looking down the enormous table and searching for faces she knew. Ellen and Patrick were the only people she recognized. She understood Wesley and Patrick had friends in this town they’d lived in for years, but it felt strange to have so many people she didn’t know at her wedding.
She needed to talk to Wesley alone, but she didn’t know how to do that when the house was so full of people. Of course, she’d be going home with him in a few hours, but was that soon enough? She felt like she needed to clear the air immediately. She didn’t want him to stay angry with her.
She spent the whole time sitting quietly trying to think up ways she could get him to leave with her so they could talk instead of participating in the conversation around them. Malinda could tell Wesley was well liked, and she wished she had just agreed to marry him and left it at that. She needed to tell him she was willing to just consummate now. She’d get over her fears. She had to. He’d forgive her if she told him she was sorry and was willing, wouldn’t he?
Finally the long lunch was over, and she expected everyone to leave, and then she’d talk to him. But no one really left. They all stood around talking. As the crowd thinned, Alice pulled her into the kitchen and gave her a big basket with a cloth over the top. “There’s enough food in there for your dinner tonight and hopefully for your meals tomorrow. You’ll be on your own on Monday, but this will get you started.”
Malinda threw her arms around the sweet cook, who was really more Ellen’s friend than hers and cried on her shoulder. “Thank you so much. I really needed this. I don’t know how to thank you for your kindness.”
Alice pulled away and used a clean corner of her apron to dry Malinda’s tears. “This is about more than just the basket of food.”
Malinda nodded. “I said something stupid and I can’t take it back. He’s mad at me.” She couldn’t bring herself to tell Alice what she’d said, though. How could she have been so stupid?
Alice smiled, patting Malinda on the shoulder. “When you first marry you’ll find a lot of stupid things are said, and you both just have to get past them. He’ll be happy and you’ll be happy, and everything will work out okay for you both.”
Malinda sniffled, but carried the basket out to the dining room. The only people left were Wesley, Patrick and Ellen. She walked over and stood calmly next to Wesley, taking his arm in her hand and squeezing it, trying to convey she was sorry without words. He pulled his arm away and turned to Patrick, thanking him for including them in the wedding lunch.
Whe
n Ellen came out of the kitchen, she took one look at Malinda’s miserable face and asked, “Do you need some help packing your things, Malinda?”
Malinda took her sister’s hand and led her up the stairs. “He’s mad at me,” Malinda told her as soon as they’d shut the door.
“I can see that. What happened between you two?” Ellen looked concerned.
“He’s mad that I suggested we wait to have our wedding night.” Malinda hated admitting she hadn’t taken her sister’s advice and nothing had turned out right. She turned to begin packing her things into the trunk they’d brought with them from Massachusetts.
“Well, of course he is! I told you not to do that. What exactly did he say?” Ellen looked angry as she asked the question.
Malinda tried not to cry, but could feel the tears running down her cheeks. “I’d rather not even say. He was really ugly about it.” She shook her head. There was no way she was going to tell Ellen what Wesley had said. It was humiliating enough to tell her sister she’d been right.
“You need to do what you can to fix the situation as soon as you get to his house.”
Malinda shrugged, but didn’t say anything. She already knew she needed to fix things. Did Ellen think she was a child?
Ellen turned to her before opening the door. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Sure.” Malinda knew she wouldn’t be okay unless she could get Wesley to forgive her, but she didn’t say that. It was her own fault he was mad in the first place.
After the men left with the trunk, Ellen turned to Malinda. “We’ve never lived apart. This is going to be strange. We need to make sure we see each other often.”
Stifling a sob, Malinda said, “I’m going to miss you so much!” Please don’t make me go and live with my angry husband!
“You’ll only live a fifteen minute walk away. We can see each other every day if we want to.”
*****
As soon as the women went up the stairs, Patrick turned to Wesley. “What happened between you two?”
Wesley shrugged, not wanting to admit that his wife didn’t want him to touch her. “No idea what you’re talking about.”
Patrick grabbed Wesley’s arm before he could turn away. “You do know what I’m talking about. What’s going on?”
Wesley sighed. “She asked if she could have some time before we consummate the marriage. Apparently my touch makes her dirty.”
Patrick raised an eyebrow. “Did she say your touch makes her dirty?”
Wesley shook his head. “No, she said she wanted time to get to know me better first.”
“We have only known them for a few days.”
“Does that mean you’re going upstairs and not consummating your marriage?” Wesley asked with fire in his eyes.
“Well, no, but I can understand where she’s coming from.”
“Well, I can’t! Why would she even agree to marry me if she didn’t want me touching her?”
Patrick shook his head. “She’s been asking for more time all along. She’s afraid for some reason. Talk to her.”
Wesley glared up the stairs in the direction his new wife had disappeared to. “No way. I’m not touching the woman until she comes to me on her knees begging.”
Patrick sighed. “You’re both too headstrong. Don’t say anything you’ll regret, little brother.”
Ellen called for them to come get the trunk and carry it down the stairs before Wesley could respond.
Once they were finished, Malinda followed Wesley out to the buggy and he helped her up. Before, his hand would have lingered on her arm, but instead he snatched his hand away as soon as she was seated as if touching her was abhorrent to him. “I’ll return the horse and buggy tomorrow.” It was obvious to Malinda that he was staring straight ahead and refusing to look at his brother because it would mean he would also be looking at Malinda.
As they drove down the street, Malinda immediately tried to make things right. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. If you want, we can consummate the marriage tonight.”
“So, since it made me angry that you didn’t want me touching you, you’re willing to sacrifice yourself? I don’t think so. The mattress in the spare room is lumpy, but it’s yours for the foreseeable future.” He stopped in front of a small wooden house not far from Patrick’s house. Walking around, he helped her down and picked up the trunk putting it on his shoulder. “Excuse me.”
She hurried in front of him and opened the front door so he could carry the trunk in. He took it to a small room at the back of the house. She ran back out to the buggy and got the basket of food Alice had packed and put it in the kitchen. She was thankful the woman had thought of it, because she had no idea what to fix to eat otherwise.
While Wesley put the horses and buggy away, she changed into a work dress and put on an apron that covered the entire front of her dress. She set out the food Alice had sent with them, since it was already dinner time.
During the meal, she tried again to convince him of how sorry she was and that she would happily spend the night in his bed with him, but he wouldn’t hear it. Once supper was over, he went into the small parlor that consisted of a worn looking sofa and an arm chair. He sat down on the sofa and read the paper while she did the dishes.
When she was finished, she sat beside him in the parlor. Maybe she could get him to kiss her and forget about what she’d said. Just as she moved to snuggle into his side, he glared at her and moved to the chair. He wouldn’t even sit with her. She stood and ran from the room with tears streaming down her face. In her bedroom, she lay down on the bed and cried herself to sleep.
Wesley watched her go and had to force himself to remain in his chair. He wanted to follow her and apologize for being so surly, but he couldn’t. Why was she afraid of him touching her? He’d been touching her and kissing her since she’d gotten off the train. Making love was a natural thing she should have been happy they’d be able to do now they were together again, but instead she wanted to spend the long night alone in his lumpy spare bed.
He stood and went to his front porch staring up at the stars. Their marriage had not started well. He needed to find a way past his anger with her, but at that moment, he was afraid if he touched her, he’d do so in anger and that wasn’t the way he wanted to touch his wife.
He was certain Sunday would be better. It had to be, didn’t it?
*****
Wesley’s anger was still going strong as they walked to church on Sunday. When Malinda saw Ellen, she wanted to run into her sister’s arms. Wesley saw her start in Ellen’s direction, and took hold of her arm. “You don’t need to spend all your time with her now. You’re a married woman.”
Malinda stared up at him in dismay. “But she’s my sister. You’re not going to keep me from her, are you?” What would she do if he kept her from the only family she had ever known because he was angry with her? She’d have to head straight back to Beckham.
He shook his head. “I just want you to take some time to get to know some of the other ladies here at the church. There are some that are more of our social standing.”
“Social standing? I’m not going to be allowed to spend all my time with my sister because she’s of a different social standing?” He couldn’t mean that, could he?
“You will make other friends. You can still see her all you want, but you’ll at least try to make friends with other women at church today.” He wasn’t sure why he was insisting she make other friends, but he really thought it would be good for her. She seemed to want to spend all her time with her sister and that wasn’t healthy. She needed other friends as well.
Patrick and Ellen would be going to the restaurant and doing a lot of things that he and Malinda wouldn’t be able to afford to do. Malinda was going to have to get used to being a sheriff’s wife and having the limited salary that came with being his wife. She couldn’t do that if she spent all of her time with her sister and his brother. They didn’t have any budgetary limits.
&nbs
p; He watched as Malinda stood quietly beside him, not approaching other women. Did she think she was too good for the women in their church?
One of the older women walked over and held out her hand to introduce herself. “I’m Mary Pickering.”
Malinda smiled and shook the woman’s hand. “I’m Malinda ….er Harris.” She stumbled over the last name, realizing it was the first time she’d used it in conjunction with her own name.
She smiled at Wesley, and he put his hand in the small of her back. Why did she seem to need courage to talk to others?
“I’m part of the women’s ministry here and we try to make all the new women feel welcome.” She paused as she smiled at Malinda. “Would you care to come to my house for tea one day this week? I could introduce you to the other women.”
Malinda bit back the automatic ‘no’ that threatened her lips. She didn’t want to agree, but with Wesley standing watching, she knew he’d be angry if she didn’t. “Yes, that would be nice.” She could handle an afternoon with strangers. She’d have to.
“Why don’t we make it Friday afternoon? That will give you time to get settled into your new home.”
“I don’t know how to get there.” She knew she was grasping at straws and she wouldn’t be able to get out of going, but she had to try.
Mary laughed. “The sheriff can draw you a map, I’m sure. Why don’t you come around one? That gives all the ladies time to get home afterward and get supper cooked.”
“I’ll be there,” Malinda promised, regretting it immediately. Maybe she could find a way to send word she was sick on Friday morning. She loathed the idea of meeting so many new women at once because it was hard for her to meet new people. She was great one on one if she’d met them before, but the first time she met someone, she had no idea what to say. In groups, she never felt like she had the right words.
After church, they went home and she heated up some of the food Alice had sent over. She had yet to cook a full meal for him herself, and she was dreading the time when she’d have to.
Wesley didn’t seem as angry, so after lunch, she moved to sit by him on the sofa again. He looked at her, his eyes filled with hurt. “What exactly do you want from me, Malinda?”
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