by Donna Hill
“But why would you keep it a secret? I don’t understand.”
“Like you said once, we both have baggage. My experience was a bit different from yours. Living from home to home, I never felt secure. It was like whatever I had could be taken away from me any minute, that people only wanted me for the money they could make off of me in foster care. It created a world of distrust in me about everyone, until I went to live with the Harpers.” He breathed deeply. “I started to feel that someone believed in me and didn’t want me for what I could line their pockets with, and then when they died, it threw me for a major loop. I turned away from everyone except Anthony. I dug into my work, determined to make my own world. And then I met Anita. She made me think that I could trust her, that she was in my corner.” He snorted a laugh and looked away. “But she was only in it for what she thought she could get. She was looking down the length of the rainbow.” He shook his head in disgust. “After that, I turned off and shut down.” He looked into her eyes. “Until I met you. So yeah, I’m a little jaded and cautious, too.”
Traci blinked slowly. “I should have told you that I saw Jason standing out in front of my building a few weeks ago. It was a Sunday. I knew you weren’t around, so I called Cara. I wanted to prove something, I guess. I figured if you were keeping secrets, then so could I. I’ve been staying with her ever since.”
“Wow . . . we’re a real pair.”
Traci flashed a weak smile.
“So how about from here on we stay honest with each other whether it stings or not?”
She searched his face. “Okay.”
He pushed up from his seat, crossed the room, and stood above her. “We’re going to be spending every night together, either here or at my place.” He grinned. “So where do you want to stay tonight?”
Her cheeks heated. “Wherever you are,” she said softly, and meant it.
“I’m going to go home and pick up some things to bring back here. Why don’t you get some of your things together and we can take them to my place.” He reached for her hands and pulled her slowly to her feet. “Is that cool with you?”
She looked into his eyes. “Yeah, I think it is.”
He slid his arm around her waist and pulled her close. “You need some help in the bedroom . . . I mean getting your things?”
“I would love some help,” she said by way of invitation.
Noah’s eyes darkened. A slow smile moved across his mouth. “At your service.”
* * *
Noah shoved Traci’s bag onto the backseat of his Navigator. He checked the street. He didn’t want any surprises. He got in. “Buckle up.” He shifted the truck into gear.
“What did you mean by your enterprise in Philadelphia?” she asked. The comment had just registered with her.
“I was wondering when you were going to ask.” He went on to tell her that it was the project he’d talked with her about. It was finally complete and he was hoping for a Christmas opening.
“Noah! Oh, my goodness. That’s fantastic. What!” she screeched in delight, and pounded her feet on the car floor.
Noah laughed. “Yep. Done. Just need to get it staffed and have the furniture delivered.”
“Wow,” she said in admiration.
“We’ll go see it this weekend.”
She snapped her head to look at him.
“I want to know what you think.”
She swallowed. “Okay.”
“And, Traci, don’t ever be afraid to ask me anything. I may not always say what you need to hear, when you want to hear it, but I won’t ever make you feel like you can’t talk to me . . . about anything. I promise you that.” He reached across for her hand and brought it to his lips. He placed a soft kiss there. “Promise.”
* * *
They arrived at Noah’s loft and he emptied out one of his drawers for her things and hung the rest in the closet. “If you need more room, there’s plenty,” he said, once her clothes were put away.
“Let’s stay here tonight.”
“You won’t get an argument from me,” he said, coming up behind her. He kissed the back of her neck. “I don’t intend on letting you out of my sight.”
Her body tightened.
Noah turned her around to face him. “What is it?”
She couldn’t look at him. “Jason used to say that.”
“I’m not him. You’re not Anita. It’s not that I don’t want to let you out of my sight because I want to control you. It’s because I’m not myself when I’m not with you.” His gaze moved slowly over her uncertain expression. “Can you get with that?”
She pressed her lips together. He was asking her to trust him, to put her faith in him and come along for the ride, even if he was uncertain about their destination. “Can’t have you going around not being yourself,” she finally said.
Noah’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “Why don’t we seal this deal of ours,” he said, and backed her toward the bed.
“How do you propose we do that?” she taunted.
“Hmm, let’s discuss it,” he said, speaking against her neck. She moaned softly. He nibbled the lobe of her ear, while his thumbs brushed the underside of her breasts. “I figure if we really take our time . . .” His hands skimmed her waist, then cupped her behind in his palms. “If we really work it,” he said, tugging her against the bulge of his erection, “we’ll come up with a satisfactory resolution for both of us.” He kissed her.
Her neck arched to give him access to the tiny pulse that beat there. Her heart jumped and banged when his tongue tasted her there. A little lick, a little nibble, just enough to make her whimper for more.
Noah walked her to the bed. She stopped when the back of her knees hit the mattress.
“Take off your dress.”
Traci blinked several times before reaching for the side sash that held her wrap dress in place.
“Take your time,” he coaxed, his gaze hooded by his long lashes.
Traci’s eyes flashed. Her mouth flickered with a smile. Slowly she unknotted the sash and let it fall. Inch by inch she opened the dress to expose more and more bare skin.
Noah hummed deep in his throat.
She shrugged and let the dress fall from her shoulders and onto the floor. Noah’s nostrils flared. He stepped closer, but only touched her with one finger. He traced the outline of her bra, the way it curved like half-moons. He let his finger trail ever so slowly down her center, until he reached the band of her panties. He traced that as well, from left to right, then the outline of the flimsy garment between her legs. Her inner thighs trembled. Her breathing elevated.
“You can take the rest off now.”
She reached behind her and unhooked her bra, peeled it off, and tossed it aside.
Noah’s gaze roamed hungrily across her. “You’re not done.”
Traci tucked her bottom lip between her teeth. She hooked her fingers around the band of her panties and shimmied them down over her hips, then stepped out of them.
“Damn,” he groaned as he looked at her from head to toe. “You’re so beautiful. Perfect.” He reached out and touched her breast, so tenderly as if it were a found treasure. His thumb brushed back and forth across her nipple, continuing until it stood hard and erect. He repeated himself on the other side, then drew a puckered nipple into his mouth.
Traci moaned and gripped the back of his head, thrusting her needy breast into his mouth. He took his time, moving from one side to the other, all the while he was cupping her sex in his palm, and gently patted it, awakened it, stirred it, prepared it for him. His palm was slick with her desire.
Noah snaked down her body, marking his territory with hot kisses along her torso, until he reached her center. He was on his knees for her. He clasped her hips and suckled her.
Traci cried out and gripped his shoulders.
Noah teased and nibbled, licked and sucked, until Traci’s nails bit into his back and her toes gripped the carpet. Her body jerked in intervals as the charge of
release pulsed through her. When she was finally spent and limp against him, Noah picked her up and carried her to the bed.
He reached into the nightstand and quickly rolled on a condom. Traci looked at him through partially opened eyes.
“That was . . . amazing,” she managed.
“You up to a little more?”
She nodded with a smile.
Noah moved toward her, braced himself above her for a moment. He parted her thighs wider with a sweep of his knee, when suddenly Traci pressed her hands against his chest to stop him. His brows drew together. “What’s wrong?”
“Lay down. On your back.”
He hesitated for a moment. In all the times that they’d made love, Traci had rarely, if ever, taken the initiative. He was more than willing to comply.
Traci straddled him, rose up a bit on her knees to position him. Slowly she lowered her hips and took him in. The air rushed out of her lungs. She took him all the way in and then froze, allowing the fullness of him to settle. Then slowly and deliberately she rode him. Her body was no longer hers. It moved and undulated of its own free will. She was only the conduit for pleasure.
She felt free, utterly free, for the first time in her sexual life. With each thrust of her hips against his hard cock, she released another reservation that had emotionally held her in place. She had a voice. She wasn’t a victim. She was worthy to be loved. Her mind and her body were her own. No one would take that away from her ever again.
Noah watched as Traci’s body rocked and banged against him, the way her breasts bounced and swayed with each movement. He watched her claim her power and it was a major turn-on for him. This was what he wanted. He wanted her to demand what was hers, to take what she wanted because she deserved it.
Her back arched. Her hands pressed down into his thighs as she hurtled toward the finish line and Noah was determined to take her there and beyond. He gripped her hips so that she could barely move except to take his hard thrusts.
The cry of his name stretched out across the room. She bucked wildly, needing to be free. Noah waited until the perfect moment and loosened his hold. Traci cried out and rocked her hips feverishly against him until she brought them both to blinding satisfaction.
* * *
“That was . . .” Noah couldn’t find the words.
“I know.”
“I hate to say this, but I’m starved.”
Traci giggled. “Me too.”
“Plenty of leftovers.”
“Last one to the kitchen cleans up,” she declared, pushed him aside, and darted out to the kitchen.
They wound up making sandwiches and brought them back to bed.
“I need to ask you something,” Traci said once they were finished.
They lay spooned in the darkness.
“Anything.”
“What did you say to Jason?”
“I told him that I come from the street. I didn’t believe in calling the po-po when I could handle it better. And that he’d be better off with the police than with me if I ever saw him again or found out that he was anywhere near you—even by accident.”
Traci smiled into the darkness.
Chapter Thirteen
“Oh, my God, T. What is on Jason’s mind?”
Traci shook her head as the two friends walked side-by-side with their Christmas shopping bags through the slushy Brooklyn streets.
“Girl, I don’t want to think about it.”
“Seems like Noah got a helluva lot going for him. Not only is he fine, but he’s crazy rich and can whip some ass when necessary.”
Traci bit back a snicker.
“And clearly he cares a lot about you, Traci. He gave you the key to his apartment, unpacked his baggage, and accepted yours. Now that everything is out in the open, give it a real chance. I’d say he was a keeper.”
“We’re going to see his place in Philly on Sunday.”
“Nothing like living your dream,” Cara said.
“Yeah,” Traci wistfully agreed.
* * *
It was snowing lightly on the Sunday morning when Noah, Traci, and Anthony headed out to Philadelphia. The roads were pretty clear and they made good time. Traci didn’t know quite what to expect when they arrived, but her imagination never conjured up the reality of what she saw.
The club was, as Noah said, a reconverted three-story brownstone. The furnishings were being delivered. Noah gave Traci the full tour and she listened to his enthusiasm as he outlined his vision. Traci saw Noah in a new light. Yes, she knew and accepted that he was a wealthy and successful businessman, but now she witnessed up close and for real the man behind the growing empire. He was focused and no-nonsense. He knew what he wanted and got it. Yet, his interactions with the deliverymen and the vendors were as professional as if he had been dealing with CEOs from Fortune 500 companies. That said a lot about the kind of man Noah was. He treated everyone with an equal amount of respect and he got it back in return. He asked for her input about staging the space and what she, as a patron, would like to see. It meant a lot to her that he took what she suggested, weighed it, and actually implemented some of her suggestions. Jason would have never done that. Ever. Noah was a man of many talents and he loved her.
* * *
“Good that you fessed up, man,” Anthony was saying. He put his feet up on the ottoman and took a long swallow of beer. “And next time you plan on rolling up on somebody, you need to tell a brotha. Thought I was your ride or die.”
Noah chuckled. “Yeah, man, for sure. Had no idea that fool was gonna be there.” Just thinking about it ticked him off all over again. “All I had on my mind when I went tearing out of here was getting things straight with Traci.”
“I think she’s good for you, man.”
Noah’s brow rose in question.
“Yeah, I do. Since you’ve been with her, you actually seem happy and not tunnel-visioned on work. You’re easy again—almost human,” he added with a chuckle.
“Very funny.”
“Anyway, you sitting in tonight, right?”
“Yeah, last set.”
“Cool.” He put down his empty beer bottle and stood. “Okay, I’m out. I need to get over to the club. I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah.” Noah got up from the couch and walked Anthony to the door. “Around nine.”
Anthony put on his coat. “Later, man.” They shared a handshake and a one-armed hug and then Anthony left.
“‘Almost human,’” Noah murmured while he locked the doors. Maybe that was the reason why he was feeling the way he was feeling about Traci Long.
* * *
“Now I see why you can play that sax the way you do,” Traci said as she snuggled against Noah later that night in bed.
“Why is that?” he said with laughter in his voice.
“Cause you definitely know how to manipulate that sweet tongue and those luscious lips,” she said boldly and confidently.
“Hmm, is that right?” He rolled her onto her back and stared into her eyes. “I was thinking I needed a little more practice.”
“Really? Where are you planning to practice?”
He ran a finger from beneath her chin down to her belly. “All over you for starters.”
“Be. My. Guest.”
“I think I will.” And he practiced his craft for the next hour.
* * *
“Why don’t you just move in here?” Noah said as he held her close. He kissed the back of her neck.
Traci stiffened. “Move in? You mean give up my apartment completely?”
“Yeah.”
He pressed his palm flat against her stomach and cupped her breasts with his other hand.
“Noah . . . that’s a big step.”
“I know.”
She tried to look at him from over her shoulder. “Can I think about it?”
He paused. “Yeah, sure,” he finally said. He loosened his hold.
“Noah . . . why do you want me to move in with you?”
He pushed out a breath. “Look at me.”
Traci turned around.
“I’m falling in love with you, Traci.”
The air stuck in her throat. “Love me?” she whispered.
“Yeah.” He brushed the hair away from her face. “That’s why I want you with me. I’ve been fighting it, figuring it was just great sex—although the sex is off the charts—but that’s not it. I love you and I want you to know that you mean more to me than someone to spend the night with.”
“Not because you feel you have to protect me?”
“That’s what a man does for the woman he loves.”
Her throat tightened. “Noah . . .”
“Think about it.” He kissed her on her forehead. “In the meantime let’s get some sleep.” He kissed her on the lips this time, draped his arm around her waist, and closed his eyes.
Sleep for Traci was elusive. Throughout the night Noah’s declaration played in her head. Love. All the old insecurities came flooding to the surface. Jason said he’d loved her, too. All that he did was because he loved her, he’d said. But love hurt. For her, love always hurt. Her mother’s love hurt and her ex-husband’s love hurt. She squeezed her eyes tight and pressed her fist to her mouth to muffle any sound. “Give him a chance,” Cara’s words whispered in her ears. Even with all that she now knew about Noah, the man, she didn’t know if she could.
* * *
There was only one more week before the school semester ended and the holiday season was in full force. Traci still hadn’t given Noah an answer to his proposal of moving in with him. More important she had yet to say the three magic words herself. Since that night he hadn’t brought it up again or tried to pressure her in any way. She was grateful for that, but it still kept her on edge. She feared that at any moment the elephant in the room would make its presence known and she would finally have to respond. Cara told her that she deserved to be truly loved; and if she didn’t give herself a chance to experience it in full, she would always regret it.
