by Adele Abbott
“Not for me, thanks. I’m not hungry.”
“More for us then.” Aunt Lucy picked one up, and was about to take a bite when I knocked it out of her hand.
“Jill?” She looked genuinely shocked. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“You can’t trust her.” I pointed an accusing finger at Alicia. “Have you forgotten that she tried to poison me?”
“It’s okay, Lucy.” Alicia stood up; she looked close to tears. “Jill’s right. I don’t deserve your trust. I’d better be going.”
When Aunt Lucy and I were alone, she said, “I understand that you and Alicia have history, Jill, but I really think you need to let it go.”
“She tried to kill me!”
“I know, but Alicia has explained that she was under Ma Chivers’ control. I don’t think she had any option but to carry out her orders.”
“I don’t buy that. Not for one minute. For all you know, these cupcakes could be poisoned.”
“They aren’t. I know because Alicia brought them around yesterday. I’ve already eaten two of them, and I’m perfectly okay.”
Aunt Lucy might be prepared to trust her, but it would take a long time for me to do it—if I ever did.
Fortunately, Aunt Lucy had a new packet of custard creams, so I made do with four of those instead of cake.
What? Of course four isn’t excessive. Sheesh!
“By the way, Jill, I have some news to tell you. Lester has completed his training and is now fully qualified.”
“He must be pleased.”
“He’s delighted.
“What about you? How do you feel about the whole grim reaper thing now?”
“I’m slowly coming around to the idea, but I still try not to think about it in too much detail.”
“Will you be celebrating?”
“Actually, Lester and I are going out with Monica for dinner tonight.”
“With Monica?”
“Yes. I don’t mind admitting that I was completely wrong about that young lady. She’s a really nice person, and I’m pleased that Lester had her as his mentor. Of course, now that he’s qualified, he’ll be working solo. In fact, he’s waiting to find out which area he’s been allocated; he should hear within the next few days.”
After leaving Aunt Lucy’s, I magicked myself back to the office where Winky was still reading his poker book. I’d only been in there a few minutes when the temperature in the room suddenly dropped. Moments later, my mother appeared and took the chair opposite me.
“What’s wrong, Mum? You don’t look very happy.”
“I’m not. It’s that stupid husband of mine.”
“What’s Alberto done now?”
“He wants to open up our garden to visitors, and to charge them to see the gnomes.”
“What’s wrong with that?” I laughed. “I thought you liked the gnomes?”
“Not particularly. I try to be supportive of Alberto’s hobby, but this is taking it way too far.”
“You don’t need to get involved with the visitors, do you? Couldn’t you just stay in the house out of the way?”
“If only. Alberto wants me to be the tour guide.”
“Why can’t he do that himself? He knows more about the gnomes than anyone else.”
“He doesn’t think anyone will be able to understand his Welsh accent. What if your father finds out about this? I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Speaking of my father, did you ever apologise for accusing him of stealing Alberto’s gnomes?”
“I think so.” She was deliberately avoiding eye contact.
“Mum! Did you?”
“I won’t apologise to that man. Anyway, I didn’t come here to complain about Alberto and his gnomes. I need your help.”
“Oh?”
“For a friend of mine: Sonya Aynos. Her husband has gone missing, and she’s really worried. If I give you her address in GT, would you pay her a visit?”
“Sure. Or she could come to see me here?”
“Sonya doesn’t do the human world. She reckons it brings her out in blotches.”
“Okay. I’ll try and get over there later today, or tomorrow at the latest.”
“Thanks, Jill.”
My mother had no sooner disappeared than Mad turned up at my office, suitcase in hand.
“Are you leaving already?”
“Yeah. I wasn’t expecting to be going so soon, but there was a vacancy in London, and I didn’t want to miss out on it.”
“How has your mum taken it?”
“She doesn’t actually know yet. I realise that makes me a coward, but I just couldn’t face telling her that I was actually going, so I waited until she and Nails were out, and then left her a note.”
“That’s really not very nice, Mad.”
“I know, but it’s done now. You can tell her that you did your best to persuade me to stay, but that I was determined to move to London. You will come and visit me, won’t you, Jill?”
“Of course I will.”
We hugged for the longest time, and then she left.
I was going to miss Mad.
Chapter 4
Mad had no sooner left than I got a call from Amber.
“Jill, there’s someone here in Cuppy C, asking to see you.”
“Who is it?”
“His name is Timothy; he says he knows you. Can you pop over?”
To the best of my knowledge, I didn’t know anyone by the name of Timothy.
“Are you sure he knows me?”
“He says so. Look, I have to go. Pearl isn’t in today, and I’m run off my feet. Shall I tell him you can’t see him?”
“No, don’t do that. I’ll be straight over.”
Amber was holding the fort behind the tea room counter all by herself. When she spotted me out of the corner of her eye, she gestured to a table at the back of the room. Seated there was Timothy the troll! It had never occurred to me for one moment that it might be him.
“You wanted to see me?”
“That was quick. Thanks for coming over. Can I get you a drink?”
His demeanour was very different to the last time I’d encountered him. Back then, he’d been quite aggressive, and had held Magna Mondale’s book for ransom until I supplied him with some starlight fairy wings.
“No, thanks. There’s a queue a mile long. What can I do for you?” I pulled up a chair and joined him at the table.
“It’s my cousin, Cole.”
“Cole the troll?” I laughed.
Timothy shot me a look.
“Sorry. You were saying?”
“Cole is having a spot of bother. I told him about you, and he asked if I’d get in touch with you.”
“Why didn’t he contact me himself?”
“Cole is very timid; he’s much too scared to come into town.”
“Does Cole live down a well, too?”
“You already know perfectly well that I don’t live down a well. That’s just my place of work.”
“Sorry. Does Cole work down a well, too?”
“No. He’s a bridge troll. Cushy number, if you ask me. He gets to bask in the sunlight and fresh air while I’m stuck down a dark hole. Anyway, I digress. Cole would like you to pay him a visit.”
“What’s it in connection with?”
“It would be best if he explained it himself.”
“Okay. Does he live near to you in Troll Crescent?”
“No, why would he? Do you live in the same street as all of your relatives?”
“No, I just thought—sorry.”
“He’d like you to visit him at his place of work if that’s possible. I’ll give you the address.”
“Okay. I’ll pop over to see him as soon as I get the chance.”
Timothy gave me the address of his cousin’s bridge, and then he left. I was about to leave too when I noticed that the queue at the counter had finally subsided. Amber looked shell-shocked.
“It looks like you’ve been run
off your feet,” I said.
“No kidding. Pearl has really dropped me in it.”
“Where is she?”
“I wish I knew. She rang first thing this morning, to say she had something urgent to attend to, and that she’d be in later.”
“Is she okay?”
“She sounded just fine. If she’s skived off to go shopping, I won’t be best pleased.”
“I suppose I ought to be making tracks.”
“Hold on, Jill. There’s something I want to tell you.”
“Go on.”
“I really shouldn’t.”
“Okay.”
“But I have to tell someone or I’m going to burst.”
“Spit it out, then.”
She glanced over at the cake counter where two of her assistants were chatting to one another. “Nadine! Can you watch the tea room for a few minutes?”
Amber led me into the back of the shop.
“If I tell you, you have to promise not to breathe a word to anyone.”
“Okay.”
“Not to Mum, and definitely not to Pearl.”
“Okay.”
“Say you promise, and cross your heart.”
“Sheesh! I promise. Cross my heart.”
“I don’t know if I should. I promised William that I wouldn’t.”
“Okay, then.”
“I’m pregnant!”
“What?”
“I’m pregnant. I found out yesterday.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. I went to see the doctor last night after work. I told Pearl I was meeting William to go shopping.”
“Why don’t you want Pearl to know?”
“She and Alan have been trying for a baby too. I’m worried about how she’ll react when she finds out.”
“She’ll be happy for you, I’m sure.”
“You’re probably right. I am going to tell her and Mum, just not yet, so you can’t say anything. William will kill me.”
“My lips are sealed. Congratulations. It’s wonderful news. I couldn’t be happier for you.”
***
It was always the same with my business: feast or famine. Yesterday, I’d had no work; now, I’d landed the Gander case, I’d been asked by my mother to help her friend, I’d promised to help Murray Murray, and I’d had a request to assist a troll. Quite the caseload.
I decided to visit my mother’s friend first, so I magicked myself over to GT where Sonya Aynos lived in a mid-terrace house close to Poltergeist Park. I had nothing against dreamcatchers, but I couldn’t help but feel that Sonya had overdone it a tad. It took me several minutes to fight my way through them all.
I’d no sooner knocked than she opened the door.
“Sonya? I’m Jill Gooder.”
“Hi. Darlene called to say she’d spoken to you, but I wasn’t expecting you to come around so soon.”
“It sounded important.”
“It is. Come on in.”
“You have a lot of dreamcatchers.”
“It’s the only way to make sure I don’t have nightmares. I tried just one, and that didn’t work. Nor did two or three. In the end, I found I needed twenty-seven. They seem to do the job.”
“Right.”
Ten minutes later, we were settled in the living room, with a nice cup of tea and Sonya’s home-made shortbread biscuits, which were perfectly nice, but no substitute for custard creams.
“My mother said that your husband has gone missing?”
“That’s right. I’m very worried, Jill.”
“Do you suspect foul play?”
“No, I don’t think so. I’m afraid it may be my fault.”
“How do you mean?”
“Malcolm worked at the garden gnome factory, but a couple of weeks back, he was let go along with another ten men.”
“Let go? Why?”
“The demand for garden gnomes is at an all-time low. They’ve had to cut back on production.”
“You said you thought it might be your fault?”
“Yes. I gave him a hard time because I didn’t think he was doing enough to find another job. It was totally unfair of me because he was doing the best he could. I was just stressed out by the money situation. I was worried about losing the house.”
“What happened exactly?”
“One morning, I found him in here, lazing around—just watching TV, and I kind of exploded. I told him to get out and not to come back until he’d found another job. I haven’t seen or heard from him since then.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Just over a week. If he’s done something stupid, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“We all say things we don’t mean in the heat of an argument. I’m sure he’ll be okay. Does he have any friends?”
“Not many. Malcolm isn’t really one for socialising. There are two men he knocks around with occasionally: Phillip Long and Roy Wright.”
“Do you have their phone numbers?”
“Yes, I’ll get them for you. Do you think you’ll be able to find Malcolm?”
“I’ll do my very best.”
***
On the drive home, I was still thinking about Amber. Ditzy as she was, I was convinced she’d make a great mum. Although I was sure that Pearl would be happy for her sister, it was bound to cause a few problems for her at Cuppy C. Would Amber go back to work after the baby was born, or would she choose to be a stay-at-home mum? Either way, Pearl was going to need more help in the shop—even if it was only for a short period of time.
Jack was already home when I got back; he looked like the cat that got the cream.
“Best news ever!” He greeted me, as soon as I walked through the door.
“Custard creams are on two for one?”
“Much better than that. I’m surprised you haven’t already heard. Ever is holding a ballroom dancing competition!”
“I’m still waiting to hear the best-ever news that you promised me.”
“That’s it. Opening that ballroom was a stroke of genius by your grandmother.”
“Look, Jack, I know you’ll want us to enter the competition, but I really don’t fancy it.”
“That’s okay.”
“It is? I thought you’d be disappointed.”
“We couldn’t enter even if you wanted to.”
“Why not?”
“Guess who’s been asked to be one of the judges?”
“You? Really? When?”
“Your grandmother called me earlier today. She said I’d be perfect for it.”
“Good for you.”
“I thought we should celebrate.”
“Sounds good.”
“With some fish and chips.”
“You really know how to push the boat out, don’t you?”
“If we stay in, it’s your turn to cook dinner.”
“Fish and chips sounds like a great idea.”
The last time we’d been to the fish and chip shop was on the day it first opened. On that occasion, the queue had been out of the door. It was much quieter this time; there were only three or four people ahead of us.
“It looks like Tish and Chip must have taken on some staff,” Jack said. “These two are a right pair of weirdos. I reckon that woman has some kind of catsuit on under her smock.” He laughed.
Only one person I knew would wear that ensemble. I glanced past Jack, and sure enough, there was Daze. Behind her, watching the chip fryer, was none other than Blaze. There was no sign of either Tish or Chip.
“Jack.” I nudged him. “It looks like they’re out of chips. Why don’t you go home, butter some bread and set the table while I wait here?”
“Okay. I’ll open a bottle of wine too. After all, we are celebrating.”
“Great idea.”
A few minutes later, I reached the front of the queue.
“Jill?” Daze looked surprised to see me. “I’d forgotten you lived in this neck of the woods.” She turned to Blaze. “Can you s
erve for a couple of minutes?”
“Sure. Oh, hey, Jill.”
“Hiya.”
Daze and I moved to the far end of the counter.
“This has to be our worst assignment ever,” she said.
“Are you kidding? Working in a fish and chip shop would be my idea of heaven.”
“You’re welcome to it. I can’t get the smell of fish out of my catsuit. And just the sight of mushy peas makes me want to throw up.”
“Wash your mouth out. Don’t you know that mushy peas are the nectar of the gods? What are you doing here, anyway?”
“Gargoyles.”
“Sorry?”
“We’re having a spot of gargoyle trouble.”
“How do you mean?”
“There are a few rogue gargoyles we need to round up.”
“Hang on. Aren’t gargoyles those stone things on old buildings?”
“Gargoyles are actually sups. They’re able to live in the human world undetected by hiding in plain sight on the side of buildings.”
“So, you’re telling me that gargoyles are alive?”
“Of course they are; they’re living, breathing sups. They’re just very good at standing still.”
“I never would have guessed. What have they been doing to bring themselves to your attention?”
“The majority of gargoyles are law abiding. Criminally ugly, but law abiding. This crowd, though, have been helping themselves to valuables from a number of stately homes in this area.”
“I still don’t get why you’re working in here.”
“Gargoyles have a penchant for fish and chips.”
“It so obvious when you say it.”
“What can I get for you, Jill?” Blaze called. He’d just finished serving his last customer.
“Can I get fish and chips twice, and a carton of mushy peas, please?”
“Open or wrapped?”
“Wrapped, please.”
“Salt and vinegar?”
“Yes, please. Plenty of vinegar.”
I handed over the cash, and was about to leave when Daze called me back.
“Can I interest you in any curtains?”
“What is it with the soft furnishings?”
“Beats me, but the owners insist that we try to push them.”
Chapter 5
It couldn’t possibly be morning already. I reached for my phone, which was on the bedside cabinet, only to find that it was five-past-six. Why was I awake at this hour? Something must have woken me. And where was Jack? He hadn’t mentioned that he would be going in early.
