by Hart, A.
He didn’t even fulfill his promise to Charlotte about picking her up with me from Jules’s house. My daughter was two, but she had the memory of an elephant. If you told her you would do something, she would remember. First thing she asked when I picked her up that day was “Where Uncky Travey?” I didn’t like the fact that I had to break her little heart. That really pissed me off. Then, after two days of ignoring my texts, Travis showed up to a family dinner at Aunt Jules’s Tuesday night. He acted like he hadn’t been a total jerk, and then, to put the icing on the cake, he tried to kiss me again. I felt like I had emotional whiplash.
There were rumors that he was seen making out with an unknown woman in his truck on the side of the highway. The way his cheeks turned slightly pink and his refusal to look into my eyes told me it wasn’t a rumor. I had walked away that night, and then it was my turn to ignore him, because . . . what were we doing? What was he doing? Sarah had feelings for him, for God’s sake, and I didn’t! Why wasn’t he listening to me?
I didn’t understand it, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. He had been showing up with flowers and texting me for the past three nights. The school year started in a couple of days and therefore, I had bigger and better things to worry about. I was focused on getting my classroom ready and getting Charlotte prepped for preschool.
I glared at Travis and walked right to Emerson’s window. I quickly saw that it wasn’t her driving her black Jeep Liberty this time. Instead, it was Cal. He rolled down the window as Emerson flung herself across her husband’s lap and anxiously spat out, “Hi. Okay, I’m really sorry, but Sarah had two extra passes and they would have gone to waste, and Cal’s sister, Jenny, offered to take Maxie and Mari for the night . . . and Cal offered to be D.D. and this way they can keep weirdos away from us . . . ”
I glared at her and shook my head. “You suck.”
Sarah yelled from the back seat. “I agree with Meg. Guys are night ruiners!”
Cal blew out a breath. “First of all, Sarah: ruiners? Not a word. Second, you won’t even know we’re there.”
I walked around the jeep to get into the back seat and Travis opened the door. “After you, Princess.”
I mumbled under my breath, “Won’t know you’re there, my ass.”
Travis blew out a long breath, slid in next to me and closed the door. “This will be interesting.” He grunted.
Sarah laughed. “Ha! Why? Because you’re stuck in a sardine container with two women who currently cannot stand to be in your almighty presence?”
He chuckled to himself. His hand lightly brushed my shoulder as he laid his arm behind both Sarah and me. “Something like that, Sunshine.” Sarah gritted her teeth and I held back a giggle.
Sarah looked straight forward as she ground out, “Unless you don’t care about having children . . . ever . . . I highly suggest you get your hand the fuck away from me.”
That was all I could handle. A loud, roaring laugh blurted from my lips, and it felt good. Everyone joined except Sarah, who looked like she was going to kill Travis. Emerson turned on the music and we began dancing, laughing and talking about the dumbest things. Cal and Travis chimed in occasionally, but they mostly just sat there as Cal drove.
We pulled into the parking lot of the lounge and gathered our stuff. I noticed Cal and Emerson whispering about something in the front seat. That’s when I remembered what Charles had told me about something that happened to Emerson. I gave myself a mental kick in the butt. Of course Cal didn’t feel comfortable letting Emerson go to a club at night after her attack, and of course Emerson wasn’t comfortable with it herself. Charles would have done the same thing.
Cal couldn’t be the only guy who came and so he brought his new buddy, Travis. It all made sense now, and I felt like a total jerk. I made a mental note not to say anything about it again to prevent Emerson from feeling self-conscious. She didn’t know it, but I too had many similar experiences. At least twice I was saved by a guy, whom I kept mentioning and who I didn’t want to think about, let alone mention. To this day, no one except him knew about my experiences. SJ. His name rang through my head. Damn it, No, not right now, Megan. I shook my head and took a deep breath.
Then memories of those experiences attacked my mind and I sighed again. What was with me lately? The memories where the only secrets I had ever kept from Charles. Charles suspected things, and he told me that if I didn’t want to talk about it, then it was okay. So I didn’t talk about it. Heck, until recently I didn’t think about it. I think not telling him was mostly for his own sanity. He was a good man but a protective man, and he would have gone into a murderous rage if he knew it all. I didn’t want him carrying that burden. I had seen what it could do. SJ had carried that burden for years, and I hated the way it had plagued him.
Charles’s not knowing allowed me to pretend like it never happened, to pretend like I didn’t exist before him. Not wanting to open that can of worms, I quickly shook out of it and hopped out of the car.
Adjusting myself, I looked up at Travis, who was smiling at me. “You look gorgeous, Princess.”
I cleared my throat. “Thanks.”
Sarah groaned and starting walking in front of everyone. “God, catty much? You look pretty too, Sunshine!” Travis yelled after her, but she just kept moving.
Emerson linked my arm with hers. “Ignore her, she’s just mad that she’s attending this event and not hosting it.” I nodded my head, knowing that wasn’t all she was mad about. I made another mental note to back off of Travis.
The place was called Fireside Lounge and Bar and it definitely lived up to its name. It had a huge, wrap-around outside terrace with fire pits and chairs surrounding them. Inside, there were tables and a bar surrounded by walls that had double-sided fireplaces in the middle. The inside and outside blended because the walls were nonexistent, at least while the place was open. I’m guessing they had pull-down doors, kind of like a garage, for when they closed.
Anyway, it was dark except for the fires and the hanging lantern lights that littered the lounge ceiling. Long, red couches were placed in front of the fireplace walls, with coffee tables in front of them. A dance floor was in the middle of the inside area, right in front of the long bar. There were also pool tables and dart boards in the back of the bar. A mix of country, pop and oldie music played at the perfect volume, and the vibe was really fun. I had never seen anything like it, but I could see how it would be very popular.
We sat in the VIP area that had a long, wrap-around red couch and our own fire pit. The place was also a restaurant and served kabobs that you could cook over the fire to your liking. I got a chicken teriyaki and pineapple one that was amazing. It was a really fun concept, and we all seemed to be enjoying ourselves. I noticed Sarah take moments to inspect things or look around. I knew it was her company that was hosting the opening event, and I was slightly curious as to why she wasn’t working. Asking now didn’t seem like a good idea.
I was having a great time—everyone seemed to be. I was laughing and talking about absolutely nothing and genuinely enjoying myself. I kept checking my phone, and after two text messages to Jules with two replies that Charlotte was still snoozing away, I decided not to bother her again. Emerson and I both hadn’t drank much since before our kids were born, and Sarah was a pro, which made things interesting. Cal and Travis sat on the side drinking casually and talking about fishing? Camping? I don’t know—manly stuff, I guess.
Sarah shot up out of her seat as a country song I hadn’t ever heard began playing. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. “Whoa.” I shouted out as I adjusted my drunk feet underneath me. Travis looked like he was going to jump up to catch me but then slid back further into his seat.
Sarah looked at Emerson. “This is my JAM, and we are going to go dance!”
I laughed. “Umm yeah, okay. Come on, Em,” I shouted.
Emerson slid closer to Cal and shook her head. “No. No, that’s okay, go on without me.”
I sighed.
“You sure?”
Sarah tapped her foot. “HELLO, the song is going to end!”
“Okay, okay,” I shouted. I looked back to notice Emerson lean over and say something to Travis. He frowned. I shook my head and followed Sarah out onto the floor as she tugged me along. She pulled me right into the middle of the semi-empty dance floor.
Not many people where dancing, but Sarah didn’t seem to care as she turned around and hollered out “WOOO”. I laughed as I slowly began dancing to the beat.
It felt strange but good to move to the music. My body was calm and all my stress was fleeing my body in a wave. It felt good to just let go and relax for once in the last . . . well, since I married Charles. He had always been deployed, and I never could relax. Not knowing if he was in danger made it impossible. Before him, I never could relax either, because I was usually the one in danger. I think that’s why it took so many years to get pregnant. I was told stress wasn’t conducive for conceiving. Thank God I finally did get pregnant, because the biggest blessing was that I still had a mini girl version of Charles running around.
Sarah and I ended up dancing to a few songs. Sarah danced with a couple of different guys as they began to slowly trickle onto the dance floor. Sarah would twirl around and block guys from me because I got a little panicked when the first guy tried to dance with me. I saw her take in my face and react quickly. After the first one, she continued to maneuver them away from me, sometimes leaving her dance partner. She was crazy, loud and definitely wild, but she was loyal to a fault. I was starting to see that was who she truly was, loyal. Maybe crazy, loud and wild were fronts for a more quiet, pure and loyal girl. Maybe they were a distraction. I saw it in her eyes more than once. Maybe it was an observation of myself more than of her. Didn’t we all hide things? Didn’t we all have secrets? The Lord knew I did. Ones I didn’t want to think about.
After what seemed like forever, we emerged from the dance floor hot and thirsty. Although I’m sure water would be the best option, we ended up in front of the bar. Sarah turned to me “Hey, can you get Em, you and me a drink? Meet you there? I’ve got to pee.” I nodded my head. She skipped off and I walked up to the bar, clueless on bar etiquette.
Chapter Seven
Megan
I stood waiting for the bartender to notice me and got a little distracted by the dancing fire behind the bar. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other and told myself to concentrate on my task. These wedges were cute, but they were killing my feet. As I put my left foot down to switch off feet, it slipped on something slick on the floor. A pineapple? My death would come from something as simple as a pineapple. Then again, my drunk mind had me feeling a little more dramatic than normal. I was sure I was going to fall on my face, but something strong and warm caught my arm.
A sharp and wild sensation pulsed from my arm up to my heart. I looked up to big, brown eyes looking down at me. I was a little taller for a girl, 5 feet 7 inches, and Charles was 6 feet 2. He’d always made me feel small enough, but this guy towered over me, even in my 3-inch heels. I looked at him, a little dumbfounded at his presence. He had to be at least 6 feet 5 inches.
I went to say something, but he beat me to it. He lowered his head a little and whispered, “You alright there, Pumpkin?” I shook my head. My heart dropped a little at the all-too-familiar nickname, especially coming from a familiar-sounding voice. I knew that voice, but where from? Stupid alcohol, I couldn’t think clearly.
I shook out of it and began to explain what happened. Except all that came out was, “Pineapple.” He smiled a mischievous smile that warmed me in all the right places—and seemed familiar as well. Did I know him? Damn my drunk brain.
“I’m sorry, you alright there, Pineapple?”
Huh? Pineapple? Oh, oops. “No. No, I um . . . well . . . I slipped on . . . a . . . pineapple.”
His face twisted into a smile. Okay, I know that smile. Who is this guy? “Don’t you know pineapples are dangerous? You’ve got to watch out for those.”
I nodded my head, unsure of what to say to this gorgeous man who made me feel strange things. It was a little hard to make out all his features due to the dark bar and the flickering flames, but I knew that I was staring at a very handsome man. A man I couldn’t put my finger on, but that I seemed to know. My body seemed to react to him in familiar ways that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I had no idea how to do this. I hadn’t flirted in almost a decade. Before I could think about it any longer, he leaned down again, his warm breath caressing my ear and sending a tingle down my spine.
“So, Pineapple . . . ” He breathed out.
I cleared my throat, willing my drunk mind to sober up. “Um, Megan,” I blurted out. Smooth, Megan, real smooth.
He smiled again, and there went those tingles again. “Sawyer.” He spoke slowly, like the name meant something to me. He put out his hand and I shook it, unsure of what the protocol was.
“Sawyer,” I said. Why did that name sound familiar? Why did this feel familiar? Sawyer. Stupid, drunk brain, think.
Sawyer bent down to speak again, and this time I welcomed the herd of butterflies that filled my stomach. “So, Megan, may I have this dance?” I looked up at him and then around the bar. Sarah hadn’t come this way yet. She was still in the bathroom, meaning I could still beat her back to the table. Maybe. Even if I was a couple of minutes after her, that should be fine.
One dance. I would dance one dance. Then I would go back the VIP lounge and say the bartender was clueless. That wouldn’t be a total lie, just a little white one. Our waitress was a little busy, but surely she would be faster at bringing us drinks than the bar. I nodded hesitantly, and Sawyer’s face twisted into that glorious smile again. The smile that I knew. I swear I did, but how? It was killing me. Sawyer gently grabbed my hand and then stood behind me so I could lead him onto the floor. I noticed that Sawyer was wearing a dark shirt with a big red and white logo on the back, with a matching small one on the front. I wasn’t sure what it said. I couldn’t quite see well enough, but I did think that he was dressed down in comparison to all the other guys who were wearing button-up shirts.
As I stopped and started to dance, the song Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon came on. I hadn’t heard it a lot, but I remember liking the song when I heard it on the radio on my cross-country trip. Sawyer looked down at me and smiled, and that smile was dangerous. He didn’t try and force himself on me like the other guys. Instead, he let me dance my one-foot distance as I faced him. He would slowly inch his way closer and would always stop for a second, almost asking my permission. To show him he had it, I would smile up at him. I swear I knew him. I immediately felt comfortable with him, and to be honest, I knew it was a little scary how comfortable.
I felt myself letting go. My God, when did that ever happen? When did I ever truly just let loose? Never. I decided that I was going to take advantage of this night off from my normal self. I kind of liked this Megan, the free Megan. I had been her once, a long, long time ago. I began twirling and being silly, which felt strange to do with a total stranger. Or was he? I was still trying to figure that out. Sawyer would chuckle at me, and he even grabbed my hand and twirled me around a couple of times. I was surprised when he stepped back a little and began pretending like he was reeling in a fish. I laughed, and then recognizing what I was supposed to do, I began hopping to him like a fish out of water. This felt familiar too, like I had done it before. Who had I done this with? Feeling more comfortable than I probably should be with a maybe stranger, I kept hopping towards him. I let my body slowly collide into his, and his eyes warmed over in unison with his smile.
Sawyer gently set his large hands on my hips and then began swaying with me. Our eyes were locked, and holy fireworks! What was going on with me? My face was hot, my heart was pounding, my hands were shaking, my stomach was doing flips, and horses were running through my throat. I hadn’t felt anything like this since Charles, and I felt guilty, but only a little. Mostly it just felt good. It felt
right. I don’t even know what song was playing at that point, because I was completely lost in Sawyer’s eyes. Eyes that I swear I knew. Reminder not to drink, ever.
In what felt like slow motion, the world stopped around us and Sawyer’s lips lowered to mine. His warm, soft lips brushed mine and my knees felt weak. I kissed him back, and unlike the kiss I shared with Travis recently, there were tingles, zings and fireworks in spades. One hand stayed on my hip as the other gently glided through my hair. I reached around his neck and pulled myself up closer to him on my tippy toes. And then as my lips were on his, I stilled, feeling instantly sober. A sudden realization of who I was kissing and why it seemed familiar swarmed through me. The reason why this kiss, this amazing kiss, felt like it had happened before was because it had—eight years ago. It couldn’t be. He was in Georgia. I was far, far away from where I’d left him. Oh, God. It can’t be.
My heart was beating through my chest and heat rushed to my face. I slowly backed my face away from his and looked up into his big, brown eyes in shock. He was taller, by at least a few inches, and older. His baby fat was gone and his hair was shorter, but I knew him. He looked down at me with a face of concern.
“SJ?” I whispered.
He smiled wide. “I was wondering how long it would take you, Pumpkin.”
My mouth dropped open at my childhood nickname, the one he had given me—no wonder it sounded familiar. Jeez, how drunk was I? I suddenly felt very sober as I stared at him in complete awe. Sawyer James Prescott, the kid I skipped rocks with and studied with and played with until the sun went down. He was here, in my arms, kissing me, just like he had all those nights ago, right before I abandoned him. Suddenly, something grabbed my arm from Sawyers neck, and I was flying through the crowd of sweaty dancers.
Chapter Eight
