by Mary Monroe
“Before I had to surrender my credit cards, everywhere I went I had to show my ID. Isn’t it ironic that nowadays I can go from one place to another, charge a payment with a credit card in another woman’s name, and nobody even cares enough to check to see if I’m who I say I am,” I said, giving Freddie an incredulous look as we walked down the street.
“America has become a crook’s paradise,” Freddie responded, sounding too serious for me.
I whirled around to face her. “I’m not a crook.”
“I didn’t say you were.” Freddie grinned, gently tapping the side of my head with her fist. “You’re not a crook until you get caught.”
When I got home Daddy was in his nightclothes, stretched out on the living room sofa snoring like a buzz saw. He looked tired and much older than his sixtyfour years. He often spent the night on the sofa, so I didn’t disturb him.
I removed my shoes and tiptoed across the floor. I smiled when I noticed the jacket to Daddy’s blue suit draped across the back of the sofa. The only times he wore suits was when he went to visit one of his lady friends.
After I checked out the kitchen and put away what was left of the dinner he’d prepared, I padded back through the living room and went to my bedroom.
I was tired, and more than a little drunk. After letting out a few loud burps, I dressed for bed and turned off my telephone so I wouldn’t have to deal with James. I pulled out the credit card and looked at it long and hard, wondering just how far I could go with it and not get caught. A strange feeling that I had never experienced before came over me. It was a combination of guilt and anger. I had the nerve to feel guilty and be mad at the same time over the fact that it had been so easy for me to use Ann’s credit card. Was it my fault that the temptation had been so great? It was no wonder criminals went on such rampages. It was so easy to do so! It was like leading a hungry hog to a trough full of food that you didn’t want him to eat but you left him there alone anyway. How could he not take advantage of the situation?
If either of the two waiters I’d dealt with that day had even slightly questioned me about the credit card, it would have made all the difference in the world.
But they had not. Now my life would never be the same again because of those two waiters and Freddie. At least that’s what I made myself believe.
I had already worked out a plan just in case one of my busybody coworkers discovered that I’d used the card for personal reasons. I’d claim I’d used it by mistake. I was pleased with the dialogue I’d come up with that played over and over in my head like a broken record. Oh, my God! These credit cards all look alike! I didn’t realize I’d used the wrong one! Don’t worry. I’ll pay off the charges as soon as possible. And it won’t happen again. I’ll be more careful from now on.
I prayed that it never came to that. Especially since I’d already planned to use the card to finance a lot of necessities I felt I needed.
I had long vivid dreams that night. I saw myself shopping up a storm and feasting at the best restaurants in town. The strange thing about my dreams was the fact that nobody at Bon Voyage was in them. For once I was glad that I worked with such an oblivious, lazy bunch of folks. They didn’t have time to be bothered with petty things like monitoring credit card charges. But Daddy was all over me in every one of the dreams I had that night, scolding me for spending so much money on frivolous things. “Trudy, you need to be savin’ your money. You don’t need all them frilly things you been buyin’ lately. And eatin’ out so much can’t be healthy,” he’d told me. It disappointed me to know that even in my dreams, Daddy was the same grumpy old man that he’d been in real life for years.
Daddy didn’t like makeup and sexy clothes on women. At least that’s what he’d always tried to make me believe. But I saw him smile and stare at women in makeup and provocative clothes every chance he got. Oh, he tried to be discreet. Especially when he checked out some of the hookers who breezed in and out of the liquor store between their dates. I knew that most men, no matter what they said, still liked to look at a flashy woman, as long as it wasn’t their daughter or wife.
I was a long way from being flashy.
I didn’t tell Daddy my plans before I went to the beauty shop at the mall that Saturday with a three-hundred-dollar cash advance from Ann’s card. I decided to get myself a complete makeover.
After I got my face done I purchased a ton of makeup and a pile of provocative new clothes. I called to make sure Daddy was still at the liquor store before I rushed home and hid as many of my purchases as I could. But I couldn’t hide my glamorous new face.
“Trudy, what in the world did you do to yourself?” Daddy asked as soon as he entered the house that night. “I know you didn’t pay nobody to do that to you, girl.”
“I had a coupon so I got a free makeover, Daddy.”
“For what?”
“So I could look more like the women I work with. I couldn’t keep going to work looking like a frump next to the other women. I deal with the public and they expect all of us to look nice and attractive.”
“And lipstick, too?” Daddy asked, shaking his head. “I declare. I don’t know if I like what that new job is doin’ to you. Eye paint, face powder, rouge. You beginnin’ to look just like some of them gals on the TV.” In his own way, Daddy had sanctioned my new appearance. “You more like your mama than I thought, after all.”
“Is that good or bad?” I asked, wondering where this conversation was going. “Mama was always trying to do things to herself and for herself that could make her happy,” I said in a small, sad voice. A lump formed in my throat and I had to blink hard to hold back my tears.
“If it’s somethin’ that makes you happy, I guess it’s a good thing.” Daddy gave me a brief frown and then a broad smile.
The next day I had my trademark ponytail chopped off.
CHAPTER 17
A chic Halle Berry–type haircut did wonders for me. I couldn’t stop looking in the mirror and I couldn’t stop grinning. The beautician who’d tackled my hair commented on how good I looked. “Girl, the folks on them reality TV shows ain’t got nothing on you. This is what I call an extreme makeover. You have been hiding your cute self for too long. I never would have guessed that there was such a fox hiding behind that ponytail and those granny glasses.”
I was the first to admit that I looked a lot better, but my transformation was not that extreme. James didn’t even notice the difference until our waitress paid me a compliment at the soul restaurant he took me to after picking me up from the beauty shop. And his only comment was that I’d already looked good enough for him.
That night when I got home, Daddy stared long and hard at my new hairdo with his hands on his hips and his jaw twitching. “Half of the Black gals on this planet is runnin’ around wearin’ weaves, wigs, and whatnot so they can cover up them bald, knotty heads they got. You was blessed with a head full of hair—good hair, at that—and then you go and cut it off!”
“It’ll grow back, Daddy. Besides, I look better with short hair. Everybody tells me that,” I said, smoothing the side of my head with my hand.
Daddy dismissed me with an abrupt wave of his hand, trying his best to make me think he was upset with me for cutting my hair. I picked up the extension in the kitchen at the same time that Daddy answered the call in the living room. I hung up when I realized it was one of his friends on the other end of the line, but I stopped on the way to my room when I realized from Daddy’s responses that I was the topic of the conversation. “I know it’ll grow back,” he told his caller. But she do look like that Halle Berry and that’s one pretty woman if you ask me. I’ll tell James to his face, if he don’t keep Trudy on a short leash, some other man’ll grab ahold of her.” There was a long pause before Daddy spoke again. “Yeah, she home. You want to come over here and look at her head? It is cute, but it looks like a onion.” He laughed. I held my breath and ran into the bathroom, locked the door and turned on the shower. And that’s where I stayed
until I heard Daddy stumbling around in his room, getting ready for bed.
The next morning before I went to work he talked about everything but my head. I got more stares from men than usual on my way to work and I got a few compliments from Pam and Wendy. I couldn’t wait to hear what Freddie had to say.
I met Freddie for lunch whenever I could. It was usually burgers and fries but this particular day we treated ourselves to lunch at an expensive Chinese restaurant near Freddie’s bank.
She complimented my new look profusely and thought it was a hoot when I told her how often people at Bon Voyage got Ann and me mixed up.
“Well, you know how White folks think we all look alike. “Ann’s lucky if she looks as good as you.”
“Yeah, but don’t let her hear you say that.”
“I should be so lucky,” Freddie said, a wishful look on her face.
“What do you mean?”
“Trudy, I know I could never win the crown in a beauty pageant. And don’t tell me that crap about looks being only skin deep.”
“I’ve never said anything about the way you look, good or bad. I don’t care what you look like.”
“Oh, girl, don’t pay me no mind. I get this way every now and then. Especially when I’m around women like you.”
I didn’t know what else to say or think about Freddie’s comments. If she was jealous of me, she had never shown it. If anybody had any reason to be jealous, it was me. Freddie still had both her parents, an exciting relationship with her man, and three beautiful kids. Not to mention the fact that her job was a lot more secure than mine. I would never intentionally do or say anything to make her feel bad about herself. I prayed that our friendship would remain as solid as it had always been. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for my best friend. It pleased me to know that I could finally do some of the things for her that she had never been able to do for herself. Like treating her to expensive lunches.
“My mama would weep if she knew I was sitting up in here eating a plate of thirty-dollar shrimp and sipping on eleven-dollar glasses of wine.” Freddie giggled
“Well, it’s not costing you a dime,” I reminded. “And you better lay off that wine. You are beginning to act and sound slaphappy.” I shook my finger in Freddie’s face. “If you get in trouble at work for fucking up at the teller’s window by being drunk, I am not responsible,” I scolded, fishing around in my purse for my wallet.
“Don’t worry about it. I work better with a buzz.”
As soon as I flipped open my wallet, Freddie wobbled in her chair, reached across the table and tapped the credit card with Ann’s name on it. Our eyes met and I had to assume that we were thinking the same thing.
“I know a lot of people who would really do a job on that Ann if they were in your position.” Freddie sounded seriously sober now. “Especially folks like us who have always lived from paycheck to paycheck.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, giving Freddie a sharp look. I knew her well enough to know what she was thinking. The same thing was on my mind, too.
“Didn’t you tell me you wanted Ann to pay for dissing you every chance she got?” Freddie’s words had a sharp edge to them. Nobody would have guessed that she’d been drinking.
I nodded. “Oh, I do get back at her every chance I get. She ignores me, I ignore her.”
“Is that what you call making some bitch pay for dissing you?”
“What else do you think I should do?” I asked.
“What’s the credit limit on that card?” Freddie shifted in her seat and gave me a hot look before she took another sip of wine.
I cleared my throat and gave Freddie a pensive look before I answered. “Ten thousand dollars.”
“How much credit is available on it?”
“Almost all of it. The cards get paid off in full every month. I just paid the bill for the first time myself.”
“If that other heifer was brazen enough to buy batteries for her vibrator, you can do the same thing.”
“I don’t have a vibrator!” I said quickly, almost losing my voice. “And I told you not to mention that other woman!” I hissed, looking around. We got quiet when the waiter approached and dropped the bill on the table.
Freddie waited until the waiter was out of range. “I know this loan officer at another bank. A real piece of work if you ask me. That woman would steal from God. She went on a Caribbean cruise last year and charged it to the bank.”
My jaw dropped and I leaned to the side and narrowed my eyes to look at Freddie. There was an expression on her face that I had never seen before. In my opinion it did not represent greed or malice. It was a look that made Freddie appear to be a person who wanted to create some serious mischief.
I glanced away from Freddie’s face for a moment. When I returned my attention to her she looked bored.
“And that loan officer got away with that?” I asked, looking around the restaurant to make sure nobody was listening to this incriminating conversation.
“That and a lot more. Her son’s braces, repairs on her car.”
“How did you find out?”
“One of the secretaries told me. She lives in my building and we do our laundry at the same time. She never misses a thing.”
I let out a tired breath and sucked on my teeth. I gave Freddie a level look and shook my head. “And she blabs everything she sees. That’s what happens when too many people know your business.”
“Oh, Clare is not worried about getting in trouble or getting fired. She’s been doing the boss for years and everybody knows about that.”
“Freddie, nobody knows about me using Ann’s credit card but you.”
Freddie gave me a serious look and leaned over the table, talking in a low voice. “Trudy, if you are worried about somebody finding out, you better stop using that goddamn card now,” she suggested. “I won’t tell anybody. Not now, not ever. I know it sounds good and a lot of people are doing it, but what you’re doing is some scary shit, if you ask me.”
I gave Freddie’s last words some thought, but not enough for it to make a difference in what I had already decided to do. “And I won’t tell anybody about what I’m doing either,” I said.
With a sigh, I whipped out Ann’s credit card and dropped it on top of the ninety-dollar bill for our lunch. I didn’t know if it was the wine or my newly acquired confidence, but I was bold enough to leave a fifteen percent tip.
CHAPTER 18
I knew that what I was doing was wrong. I knew it from the first minute and it did bother me because I knew better. I rationalized by reminding myself that we didn’t live in a perfect world and it was our nature to fuck up. As human beings we were expected to fuck up. Every time I felt the slightest bit of guilt, I cheered myself up by treating myself to even more lavish lunches using Ann’s credit card. Dragging Freddie along whenever I could made it feel like a shared responsibility. However, there were times when I regretted the fact that I had revealed what I was doing to Freddie. One minute she was as excited about it as I was. The next minute she was not. That confused me because she was the one who had put the idea in my head in the first place! But I only took Freddie Malone’s advice when I wanted to and she knew that.
It wasn’t long before the meals weren’t enough. When I went shopping for more new clothes, I took Freddie with me and paid for her purchases, too.
When she didn’t have money to buy things for her kids, I paid for that as well. The only thing that bothered me was the fact that each time Freddie showed some resistance. “Girl, you don’t have to do all this for me. I was doing all right,” she insisted, all the while grinning and snatching.
“If you don’t want these things, you don’t have to take them,” I told her each time. It did not surprise me that underneath it all, Freddie was like a lot of other people. She didn’t want to pass up anything that was free.
I felt a little twinge of guilt every time I saw Ann, but I could always count on her to do or say something to piss me off. That m
ade what I was doing seem justified. Besides, the payments weren’t coming out of Ann’s pocket.
According to Wendy, Bon Voyage had one hell of a budget. They had so much business that the reps were running themselves ragged. As hard as I worked and because of all the crap I had to take from Ann, I felt I deserved as many fringe benefits as I could get.
I wasn’t the only employee who felt that way. Pam had friends in Hawaii and Florida. She made calls to her out-of-state friends and chatted for as long as she wanted to. She took so many office supplies home so often that I had a hard time keeping the supply room stocked. I got righteously annoyed when I found out what she was doing with them.
“Pam sells some of those supplies from a booth at the flea market every weekend,” Wendy told me after Pam had helped herself to six reams of copy paper and a carton of staples.
“Now that’s a damn shame,” I said weakly. I knew that I was no better than Pam, but at least I wasn’t reselling the things that I charged to Ann’s card. I wasn’t that greedy. My real fear was that Pam’s greed would eventually be noticed by one of those busybodies on the second floor. Like Lupe. She was the only one who complained all the time about us running out of this or that. If Lupe or one of the other reps decided to scrutinize the situation with the supplies, what was to stop them from looking at other things? Like the credit card use. I made a mental note to keep my eye on this situation. Since I was in charge of the supplies, if something like that happened, I’d be the first to know.
“Don’t look so sheepish, Trudy. Everybody screws their company one way or another,” Pam decided, using me as a lookout while she stuffed her backpack with pencils and tablets and other supplies for her son to use at school. “Why pay for something that you can get for free?” Pam even stole toilet paper from the ladies’ room and couldn’t understand why I didn’t do the same thing.
“But isn’t this like shoplifting?” I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. That same day I had charged a leather skirt to Ann’s credit card. I never dreamed of telling Pam or Wendy about my own larcenous behavior.
