by Claire Adams
“Juliana, I didn’t mean to-—”
I twisted my arm free and gave him a stern look. “Like I said, I’m not looking for anyone’s attention tonight, Pacey. Goodnight.”
Leaving my nearly-empty glass on the bar, I spun around and marched to the karaoke songmaster. I was putting my name on that list despite having not having had that extra cocktail I’d told Adam I would need to gather the courage to get up there.
“Hi,” I said, flashing the songmaster a huge smile that usually got me what I wanted. I just hoped its power hadn’t fled with my mojo.
“What can I do for you, ma’am?” he asked, leaning over his equipment to get a glimpse of my cleavage. I barely suppressed a shudder, keeping the smile pasted to my face.
“I’d like to put my name on the list to sing, please.”
He nodded at the book at the book at the end of the table he was seated at. “You just add your name there, and I’ll call you when it’s your turn.”
“I know, but I was really hoping you could squeeze me in?”
He gave me long look, and I didn’t know if he pitied me or if the smile worked, but he nodded his assent a few seconds later. “Okay sweetheart, what’s your name and what do you wanna sing?”
“Juliana, and “Summer Nights,” from Grease.”
“You’re aware that’s a duet, right?” he asked, his eyes darting around like he thought he’d missed a guy being there with me.
“I know. I have a friend who’s singing it with me,” I told him, slightly overexaggerating Adam’s status, but I didn’t need him feeling sorry for the poor girl who didn’t have a partner to sing her duet with.
“Well, better go get ‘em then, because you’re up next.”
“Great, thank you.”
I could hardly believe that I’d actually put my name down to sing, but filled as I was with false bravado and intent on showing Pacey that I was over him, it might actually just turn out to be fun.
Chapter 21
Pacey
I went to Elmer’s in a half-hearted attempt to hang onto some of the good feelings from the night before. The boys had all gone back home, I didn’t know of another poker game being played, but I did know where to find karaoke. So I settled for one out of three and made my way over.
Not that I had any intentions of singing again since I sounded like a cat whose tail was being run over repeatedly. It was one thing in the somewhat safe confines of Tugger’s living room, but another entirely to do it out in public.
Instead of finding those unfamiliar feelings of normal and happy though, I found Juliana—who just so happened to be the one person alive who instantly made my skin feel like it fit and allowed my lungs to remember how to breathe.
I wasn’t planning on talking to her, but my body had plans of its own. My feet were automatically carrying me to her the moment I set eyes on her, and my brain only caught up by the time she was right there in front of me. It was like magic how the world seemed to shift to accommodate me again as soon as I was breathing the same air that she was. Like she’d cast some kind of spell that allowed my body to perform its functions properly.
Her response to me, however, wasn’t quite as magical. I knew that I deserved her snarky comments though, and I generally thought the exchange could have gone a lot worse. It also could have gone a lot better, but it would have been stupid and naive to expect that from her.
I promised I would call and I hadn’t. Simple as that. Only it wasn’t simple, not to me anyway. But there she was and there I was, and once again, I was left wondering if dangling her in front of me was a cruel trick being played on me by the universe. Or that maybe the universe—like my body—had plans of its own.
“One beer, please. Whatever you’ve got on tap is fine,” I ordered absently, my eyes tracking her, watching her chat with the songmaster for a minute, then headed over to the smaller cocktail bar set off to the side.
The bartender slid my beer over, and I slapped some bills down at the same time Juliana grabbed one of the watered-down excuses for a cocktail that Elmer’s kept pre-made on the cocktail bar. She downed the swill in one go, grimacing slightly toward the end and slamming the glass back down.
A couple of guys who’d been singing, or ruining, rather, an old Fall Out Boy song finished and stumbled from the stage, giving each other a high-five at the bottom of the stairs. A familiar intro started playing, and I saw Juliana’s eyes fall closed, then she squared her shoulders and walked in the direction of the stage.
Blonde hair swished from side to side down her back as she marched, hips swaying slightly. I was mesmerized by the way she moved, so effortlessly graceful. The memory of her soft curves against my body, of those hips pressing into mine, was almost overwhelming as I watched her.
As they always did, those memories brought the world into sharper focus around me. Like a layer of dust wiped off a glass, or the steam from a shower door. She was beautiful, so feminine, yet so strong and stubborn.
When she neared the stage, she grabbed some preppy-looking guy and flashed him a bright smile, inclining her head toward the platform. A stab of jealously shot straight to my gut, hot and angry at the sight of her smiling at him.
It grew unexpectedly fierce and more naturally than I ever could have imagined. I had no claim on her, and no right to feel the way I did, but I wanted to launch myself at the guy and make him regret being on the receiving end of that smile. Unfair, maybe, but I couldn’t help it. Then I wanted to pull her into my arms and never let her go.
But I couldn’t do any of those things, so I tipped my head and took a long pull of my beer, relishing the burn of the bubbles down my throat. Anything to distract me from the fact that she was up there with another guy, taking her microphone from its stand just as Olivia Newton-John’s first verse was about to start.
Juliana looked exquisite up there, her hands wrapped around the microphone and her eyes falling closed for just a second. Her hair formed a halo around her, and silhouetted by the stage lights it gave the appearance of golden threads weaved around her head. It was almost ethereal.
Then she opened her mouth, and it was like glass shattering around me. If I sounded like a cat whose tail was being run over, Juliana sounded like one that was being stabbed while the tire kept it pinned in place.
The girl couldn’t carry a tune for shit, but somehow that made her seem even more perfect. The fact that she went up there anyway and was passionately and enthusiastically belting out the lyrics made a rush of pride run through me.
Her duet partner, on the other hand, didn’t seem as impressed as I was. She was making eyes, trying to engage him in the song, but he stood there gaping at her like an idiot. With a slight shake of his head, he shrugged and ducked off stage.
Aww hell.
Juliana kept singing, but her eyes were now darting around nervously and that same feeling from before, wanting to sweep her up in my arms, returned full force. Only this time, I wanted to protect her. From anything and everything. From the embarrassment of standing up there by herself when Travolta’s part was imminent, from the looks of pity the crowd was giving her. Everything.
My body reacted instinctively again, and I only missed Travolta’s first line before I was up there next to her, grabbing the microphone and singing my part without having to look at the lyrics on the prompter screen. Julia shot me a smile, set her feet apart as though she was bracing herself or summoning her strength, then she was back, singing with a confidence I knew she didn’t feel.
Someone in the audience cheered, and I saw Juliana’s shoulders relax. It got better from there, the two of us singing so off-key that it kind of started working somehow. With my microphone in hand, I crossed the stage to Juliana, grabbed her hand and spun her around.
We settled into a decidedly unsexy dance, but Juliana laughed and went with it. Swinging her hips and allowing me to dip her low at the end, she was carefree, spontaneous, fun. So many things that I hadn’t experienced or felt in forever, if ev
er. Certainly never with a woman.
The audience sang the final few lines with us, breaking into a round of applause. Juliana was flushed, glowing. She kept her hand in mine, giving a small bow that I mirrored before we hustled from the stage.
“God, I don’t know that I was thinking.” Juliana groaned once we were down the stairs, looking up at me with a sheepish smile that made me suspect that she knew exactly what she’d been thinking. But then she threw her arms around me, and I did likewise, and all thoughts and suspicions ceased at the feel of finally having her so close to me again.
Breathing in her familiar vanilla scent, I gave her a light squeeze, my mouth above her ear. “Whatever it was, you were great up there.”
She scoffed but hugged me tighter before she released me. When she stepped away, I felt immediately empty and cold.
“If I was great, it was only because you rode in for the rescue.” She told me, sincerity shining in her hazel eyes. Try as I might, I couldn’t figure out which color was winning in this light, the blue and green seemed to be swirling together and coexisting peacefully for the moment.
“Rode in for the rescue?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Juliana smiled, then pressed her lips together as she peered up at me, eyes narrowing like she was trying to figure something out. “You always seem to be doing that, don’t you? Saving me from something. It’s uncanny how you’re always in the right place at the right time.”
“You’re telling me,” I murmured. It looked like we were on the same page about the way we kept being thrown together somehow. She was still standing so close to me, staring up at me with questions in her eyes and slightly parted lips.
Something in me clicked. I wouldn’t have called it serendipity, exactly. My feelings on the matter were still too jumbled for something like that, but before I could think about what I was doing, or stop myself from doing it, one hand was cupping her face while the other wrapped around her waist.
I tugged her roughly into my chest and bent my head at the same time, capturing her lips and kissing her deeply. Just as it happened the first time I kissed her, she stilled a moment before responding, then kissed me back with reckless abandon. Like she just couldn’t help herself, and I fucking loved it.
My hand slid from her cheek to the nape of her neck, and I held her to me, my focus narrowing to only her. Blood rushed to my ears and my cock at the same time, and soon I didn’t know which of my organs were pounding harder. Juliana pressed up against me, her hands threading around my shoulders so they could wander up into my hair. It was only our third kiss, but her reactions felt so familiar already, so right.
I was vaguely aware of someone catcalling and another person yelling. “Get a room!”
Though I was loathe to do it, I broke the kiss, breathing as hard as Juliana was and suddenly desperate to get her out of there. And not only to get that damn room. I grabbed her hand and pushed through the few stragglers standing off the side of the stage, waiting their turn or simply wanting a close-up look. I didn’t know, but they were standing between me and the apology I owed Juliana.
Thankfully, the going was easy to the back exit with people shifting or moving without even really looking to allow up to pass. Pushing open the door that led to the parking lot out back, I tugged Juliana out behind me and let the door fall closed.
“What’re we—” Juliana started, but I pulled her back into my arms and kissed her again, drinking from her lips like they were an ice-cold beer in the middle of the Sahara Desert.
“I’m sorry, Juliana,” I said, speaking against her lips when I broke the kiss. “I’m sorry for not calling. I had my reasons and wanting some space was only one of them, but I still should have called. I thought about you though, even though I didn’t call. I thought about you just about every second of every day we were apart. I know it was a dick move to promise I’d call and not follow through with it, but is there any way you could forgive me?”
I was suddenly desperate for her forgiveness; I needed it even. Sucking in a deep breath that I didn’t release as I waited for an answer, I did something I hadn’t done for the longest time.
Throwing caution to the wind, I prayed for a second chance.
Chapter 22
Juliana
Staring up into Pacey’s eyes, my head was positively spinning. I couldn’t keep up with this guy. One day he was promising he’d call, the next he let me down—hurting me worse than what was actually reasonable under the circumstances. Now, he was looking down at me and actually holding his breath while waiting for my answer.
He was racking up some serious points though, hurt or not. First by saving me while I bombed it on stage, not only literally stepping up to save me from embarrassment, but then actually making me forget that I couldn’t sing to save my life and actually enjoy the experience.
Then he’d kissed me in that way he had to make me feel like I was only the girl in the world. Wanted, cherished, possessed, and now he’d apologized for not calling. Not only was he always there when I needed him somehow, but he also seemed to know exactly what to say to answer questions that were left unasked.
Something in him called out to something in me. My blood sang when he was near, and my skin felt electrified whenever and wherever he touched me. He tilted his head slightly, and at that moment, I knew exactly what to do. It was inevitable, undeniable, and unavoidable.
Reaching up, I grabbed his face and brought it down to mine, kissing him on my terms. Pacey responded immediately, kissing me hungrily as his hands tunneled into my hair and pulled me close to him. Being in his arms made me feel safe despite the fact that he’d hurt me so recently. He tasted faintly of beer and something else: just him. My fingers curled into his soft hair, his body hard and warm against mine.
Someone wolf-whistled from somewhere behind us, and I realized that I’d gotten so lost in Pacey, that I’d forgotten we were in a parking lot. I felt his smile against my lips; then he broke away from me.
“Looks like we’re doing a great job of keeping the audience entertained tonight.”
Pacey didn’t look concerned about it at all, keeping me in the circle of his arms as he shrugged. Our eyes locked and something passed between us. Then we were both moving, our fingers seeking each other out as I led him to my car.
“Not that I mind going wherever it is that you’re taking me, but where are we going?” he asked, when we left the parking lot behind, still walking down the block to where I’d parked.
“To my car, then to my house. It’s closer than yours, and I’m tired of having an audience.” I needed to be alone with him, and for life and people to stop getting in our way. I hadn’t quite given any thought yet to what I wanted to do with him once I got him back to my place.
I still felt like it was too soon to sleep with him, but I was going with what felt right. Getting him all to myself felt right, and whatever happened after that would happen.
Pacey gave me a quick look but kept walking next to me. When we neared the Jeep, I clicked the key fob and heard the locks open. He let go of my hand, going to the passenger side and opening the door, but then held it open.
“What’re you doing?”
“Opening the door for you. I got here three sips of beer ago, so I’m driving.” Crap, he was right. I’d gotten there three cocktails ago, and although any buzz I’d been getting on before the karaoke had long since been drowned out by first humiliation, and then adrenaline, I knew I was still over the limit.
I held up my keys to him and slid into the seat, holding on to the keys for just a second when he went to take them. “She’s my baby; treat her well.”
Pacey rolled his eyes and smirked, plucking the keys from my hand and placing a quick, chaste kiss on my lips. “You already know I’m a good driver, and you’ll be right here.”
True. “Okay, let’s go then.”
He gave me a salute, closed my door, and rounded the Jeep to the driver’s side. After he’d adjusted the seat to make room
for his gigantic frame and fiddled with the rearview mirror, he pulled out and headed in the direction of my house.
“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” he asked, glancing at me before his eyes went firmly back to the road.
I didn’t know to answer him; did I forgive him? It sure felt like I had, but there was also still a pit in my stomach that told me that I might’ve had some lingering feelings of apprehension and betrayal.
“That remains to be seen.” It was the only honest answer I could give him.
Pacey nodded slowly and reached for my hand. “I can live with that.”
Our fingers twined and laced together, and I looked down at our joined hands. We fit together so damn well, it was like I was designed to be with him, but if that was true, surely, he felt it too and would have called.
Gah! This was so confusing, yet I was powerless to stop it. I wanted to be near him. I wanted him to be near me, to find out if every part of us fit together as well as it felt like it did.
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn’t realize we were on my street until Pacey was pulling up in my driveway and shutting down the engine. He turned to look at me without opening his door.
“Okay, we’re here. I’m not going to be an asshole and make any assumptions, especially since you haven’t fully forgiven me. What do you want, Juliana? You need to know that I’m good with whatever it is, even if it’s walking you to your door and saying goodnight.”
Pausing with my hand on the door handle, I gave his hand a light squeeze. “I want you to come inside. If you want to.”
He gave a soft laugh. “Are you kidding me? Of course I want to.”
I pulled on the handle and climbed out of the car without another word, heading to my front door. Pacey’s door opened and shut behind me, then his hand was on my lower back, and he fell into step behind me. He leaned against me slightly, his lips brushing the shell of my ear when I tried to unlock my door and I fumbled with my keys.
