by Nancy Hopper
He just looked at her, with confusion and hurt in his eyes.
“You still can't get it through your thick head? I mean it. I’ve come to my senses. You almost had me fooled into thinking you were different. You’re not. You’re boring and ridiculous and puritanical, and I’m sick of your crap. Sick of you.” She hissed. “I hate your religious guts, preacher! You may have been able to catch my eye, but that’s all you’re going to get. I’ll be in bed tonight with a hot stud, who thinks I’m wonderful. This time you will find out. I’m not some spoiled child you can verbally slap around! I deserve a little respect.”
Sam just watched her for a moment, quietly. “Yes, you do, Callie. And so, incidentally, do I. We’ve both said things we don’t mean, and that is regrettable. I’m sorry that I made you so angry, and that I’ve let you down so. I didn’t mean to, love. But people will do that sometimes, you know.”
He waited, but there was no thaw in the icy shield, no acknowledgment of anything he had to say.
“All right, Callie. If you ever change your mind, you know where I am. Say goodbye to your delightful mother for me, will you?” he said evenly. He looked at her for a long moment, but she simply continued to glare at him, with lips pressed tightly together.
As soon as Sam walked down the steps, Callie went into the house and locked the door behind her. She went to the window and watched him, with cold anger in her heart. He got in his van and put his head on the steering wheel, eyes closed. He shook his head slowly. Then he started the engine and drove away.
CHAPTER SIX
Sam had three states' travel time to think over what had happened between he and Callie. Her words kept stabbing into his heart with alarming recall, over and over. Only it seemed to hurt more, every time he played the tapes again.
How had he let it happen? How could he have lost his temper with her, knowing she was ready to explode? Would she ever recant those horrible things she'd said? Had he caused her to lose her new faith in God? The very thing that was her only link to healing, of whatever it was inside her that made her so bitter?
Sam had no illusions. He knew it was his fault. He could have let her go inside without confronting her. He could have endured her minor slight. He could have waited out her mood, allowed her pique to diminish as they traveled alone together. Callie was the tender, new Christian. He was the one who was supposed to be mature.
No. He knew that his darling love; his only love, was lost to him. He had no way to know if he would ever have a chance to convince her that all the things she'd said to him were not true.
Not only that, but he was afraid to his toes that she would make good on her threats. Callie didn't know any other men she could love or be happily intimate with. If she did, she would have already been in a relationship, when they met. Thus, if she made good on her threat, she'd be spreading her legs indiscriminately, being used by beasts who cared nothing for her – just using her as a sperm receptacle. Giving them pleasure for pleasure's sake, without any love.
That hurt more than anything. To think that he'd driven her back to a place where she preferred that – to him. To not wanting his love. Her loveliness, defiled by animals for the sake of a moment's mindless coupling. The emotion that picture conjured in his gut, made him want to throw up.
But, he had done this. And now, he had to live with the fact that whoever was enjoying her charms, would not be him.
Rose heard Callie in the night, and went to her room. She was sobbing as though her heart was broken. “Callie, honey.” She soothed, stroking her daughter’s long, silky hair gently. “Tell me what happened.”
Callie shook her head. “You wouldn’t understand, Mom. I couldn’t stand it if you stuck up for Sam, and I know that’s exactly what you’d do.”
“Callie, if you’re so sure of that, perhaps you’d better reconsider the entire situation, don’t you think? I’ll do my very best to be objective, but you need to talk to someone, and right now, I’m all you’ve got.”
Callie rolled her eyes. “Oh, Mom. He’s impossible. He’s got me turned inside out! Ever since I met him, I’ve been crying. I cry when he’s here and I cry when he’s gone. It just gets worse and worse!”
Rose shook her head. “He’s very charming, honey. I don’t wonder that you went tumbling.”
“But I’ve always been sensible about men, Mom. At least since Dex. But Sam is … well, he’s just different.”
“Yes. He’s obviously quite exceptional, Callie. He’s smart, handsome, charming; and yet very real. He scares you, doesn’t he?”
“Oh, man. You have no idea. And he’s merciless! Mom, he comes on like a freight train; and then about the time my bones are melting, he hands me this … this ultimatum! And if I won’t go along, why … the whole deal is off!”
“So what happened today? I know Sam was planning to take you with him when he left. Did you throw him out?” Rose asked, with a glint in her eye.
“Yeah. Well, Mom, so much for your objectivity.” She growled. “It was him, or me. He was so insulting!”
Rose sighed. “What was it about, Callie?”
Callie shrugged and shook her head. “It’s just hopeless. You know, he delights in taking me to the … the very edge of this abyss of passion, and then he refuses to make love to me. And then he lets me know exactly what he expects of me, or else!” She threw her hands in the air. “It’s like … sexual blackmail!”
Rose pursed her lips, and nodded thoughtfully. “Callie, something doesn’t add up. Sam isn’t the kind of man to play games. He’s obviously in love with you, honey. But you know, I’m not sure he intends to drive you insane. I’m not sure he understands how intensely you feel about him.”
“Oh, of course he doesn’t always know. I mean, all he has to do is look at me. He’s got this sexy, kind of sideways look, and, bang. It’s all over. But Mom, sometimes, he does know. Sometimes, he knows we’re both in very deep water and he just plows right in, anyway.” She sneered. “He’s heartless.”
Rose looked thoughtful. “Well, he is a man who likes to ride the boundaries, obviously. He’s going to test the ropes. And he’s using all of his willpower to bring you to his side. Even I can see that. Callie, I don’t mean to pry, sweetheart, but has Sam … has Sam talked at all to you about marriage?”
“Of course he has.”
Rose looked shocked. “Well, honey, what’s the problem, then?”
Callie rolled her eyes. “I said no.”
Rose looked as though she might just faint. “You what? Callie, why?”
Callie growled. “Stop. You don’t understand anything! I did it for his sake, but you’d never believe that, would you? I did it to save his fool neck.”
“How nice of you.” Rose said dryly.
“What, Mom? You like him so much? Well, he obviously adores you, too. I’m sure you’d be mature enough to meet his demands, why don’t you take a run at him?” Callie challenged defiantly.
Rose grew stern and pale. Callie knew she’d made a great mistake. “I will pretend that I didn’t hear those words.” Rose informed her in a low voice.
“I’m sorry.” Callie said stiffly. “I shouldn’t have said it. You two just made me feel like such an imbecile this morning, talking about me like I’m some kind of little snot!”
Rose sighed and raised her eyebrows. “That certainly was never the intent, Callie. Why exactly won’t you marry Sam?”
“Well; at first, it was because I knew it wouldn't work. I knew I couldn't meet his standards, or the standards of the people he answers to. It would have destroyed his ministry to be hitched to a song bird. And then from my side, I like ... I mean, I liked, my life. He’s destroyed it now, so that’s not an issue.”
“But it’s just that … last month in New York, he was begging me to marry him. He’d have sacrificed everything to have me! And now, he’s so intent on making me be just perfect before he’ll even consider it. It makes me wild! The way he talks now, I’d have to not only prove I’m a con
vert, but that I’m the virgin Mary!”
“Mother, he sends me! He’s so egotistical! He thinks I’m his private property, his little plaything that he can mold and manipulate and spank when I’m bad! Well, Mom, I’ll tell you what; I’m going to fix him.”
“Callie, no. Don’t be foolish. Sam is a wonderful man. Don't you do anything rash. Vengeance will only drive him away.”
“Yeah. Well, this time, he went too far. He thinks I’ll sit here and pine over him for as long as it takes, and he took great pleasure in explaining it. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I show up at his precious tent with another man. I told him I would, and he laughed in my face!”
“Callie!” Rose gasped. “You mustn’t! If you love Sam, you won’t do that.”
“And why not?” she asked archly. “It will serve his self-righteous, self-serving little pants right. He should never have taken me for a fool.”
“Callie, he doesn’t. Listen to me, now. Sam adores you. He loves you, Callie, and he wants you. Don’t ruin that by pulling this foolish stunt.”
“He deserves a good shaking up, and I’m just the girl to dish it out to him.” Callie snapped.
“Callie; you’ll lose him.” Rose warned softly. “He’s the one; you know he is, and you’ll lose him. You’ll never find another man like Sam.”
Callie lifted her chin defiantly. “We’ll just see.” She said with relish.
“Callie; if you do something foolish, Sam won’t be able to marry you, if he ever wanted to.”
“How do you figure that?” Callie sneered.
“Because people are always very critical of preachers. They expect them to be perfect. There’s a fair amount of pressure that comes along with his job. And his wife has to be above reproach, too. It seems to me that Sam is just trying to be sure you understand and are ready to take those pressures on before you get married. He wants to prepare you. He doesn’t want them to slap you in the face.”
“You are going to be choosing a lifelong career path if you marry Sam, Callie. You’ve got to understand that the two of you will be in ministry, your whole life long. He needs a woman who is ready to be his partner.”
Callie sighed. “So he told me. What garbage. Why can’t I just go on being me? I don’t want to live in his fishbowl with him.”
Rose shook her head. “That approach would destroy your marriage and perhaps even his ministry. You don’t ever want to position yourself between Sam and God, honey; I guarantee you, you’ll lose big every time. You’ll discredit Sam and you’ll lose him if you’re not careful.”
“It’s not fair, Mother.”
“No one ever said it would be. But it’s reality.” Rose warned.
“Then I’m right to end it now. Because it’s not my reality. After today, I don't really want to marry the sod, anyway.” Callie said coldly. “If you don’t mind, Mom, I think I need some sleep.”
Rose pressed her lips into a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “All right, Callie. Good night.” She said sadly.
Sam was not having such an easy time that night, either. He knew he’d said things that hurt Callie. He was deeply disappointed and even a little despondent that she wasn’t with him. He’d been counting on bringing her back to Vermont more than he’d realized.
And, it had been a big mistake to have her sleep in his bed in the trailer. Now it smelled like her perfume, and he knew exactly how she looked there, with her hair spread all over the pillows. He washed the sheets again the following day, but the smell did not leave. It was driving him absolutely nuts.
By the end of the week, he actually had little interest or will in continuing the tent without Callie. It just wasn’t the same without her there. There was a gaping hole in his armor. Something had changed, that night that Callie had given her heart publicly to Jesus. They had bonded; something had been born. It was too late for him to go on without her now.
She was a part of him, and he had no strength or ambition, without her there to share it. He felt that Callie would have to come to the tent, or that he’d have to leave it after a time and throw himself into something entirely new. He just couldn’t go on, now. It was either with Callie, or for him the tent was over. He wasn't proud of it, but he couldn't seem to snap out of the funk.
Perhaps, he thought, it was just time that he moved on. Clyde ran the thing mostly without him, anyway. Things went on perfectly smoothly, with or without him on board.
Callie, meanwhile, was making plans to call Sam’s bluff. She fully intended to make her appearance at the tent that coming weekend on the arm of a very handsome and intent lover.
Gregory was Italian and he was everything Sam was not -- Slender, dark-haired, dark-eyed and exotic. He had always had a crush on her, and he would do simply anything to please her. She said nothing to him about Sam or her motives. She just asked him to take her to an event in Vermont. With a little encouragement at the correct moment, Callie was certain that he would come on like a freight train. Callie called him, and he jumped at the chance to accompany her.
Rose, meanwhile, was beside herself. She had no idea what to do. She finally decided that all she could do was go along with Callie, and try to be of help if the opportunity arose.
Sam was praying daily for Callie, but his heart was heavy. He hadn’t heard from her, at all. If she didn’t come in the next few days, they would pack up and leave Vermont, and they would not be returning to the East Coast for at least a year. He found himself battling frustration and even depression as the time drew near. He got down on his knees one afternoon and went before the Lord again.
“Lord, please send her. Just send her to me. I will deal with any circumstances if you’ll just send her. Let me see her, and try one more time before I go. I told her I wouldn't call her or bother, Lord; so it's up to you. If I'm right, and she's the one for me, please send her to the tent again. Just once, is all I ask.”
Sam stayed on his knees until he had peace.
God answered that prayer the very next day. Sam nearly couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Rose and Callie, Peter and Shelly walk into the tent. He wanted to weep for joy. Then, he saw the man. His emotion turned to a cold, hard knot in his stomach as a strange man put a possessive arm around Callie's waist. His long, slender fingers curled around onto Callie's hip and tummy.
Callie looked up at the man, and smiled sweetly in response. She put her arm around the man’s neck, and turned to press her body fully against his. She lifted her face to him in obvious invitation. He immediately responded, and Callie let him kiss her.
The feeling that went through Sam’s breast as the man lingered over Callie’s mouth and kissed her again, was something he’d never experienced. It was enough to kill him. He could see the intent in the man’s eyes. His very stance spoke of his lust for Callie.
She hadn’t been lying. This greasy, slick slug would put it to her if she so much as crooked her little finger. It was agonizingly obvious. His hips subtly thrust into her, with an expression of his lust.
Callie was thoroughly enjoying the attention. She smiled up at the man with a very sexy come-on, and he responded like a bull in heat. Sam felt bile rise up in his throat as the man put his tongue in Callie’s mouth. Then he licked her lower lip with the disgusting thing. A fat bead of spit dripped onto her soft, curving lip.
Sam sat down in a chair, hard. He would never have believed that Callie would really resort to this. The pain was unexpectedly sharp, and went very deep.
“Sam? What’s the matter, are you all right?” Sadie asked worriedly.
“Not really.” He admitted. “Sadie, get the team in here. I need every ounce of prayer I can get right now.”
“Is it physical? Sam, you look awful. Is it your heart?”
Sam squeezed his eyes closed. “Yes, I guess it is my heart. No, I’m not having a heart attack. Just bring the team in, and pray. Please, Sadie. Don't ask questions. Not now. I can't explain yet, I'll fall … apart, if I try.”
“Al
l right, Sam.” Sadie agreed immediately. She called Sean over, and had him gather the team. She herself never took a step away from Sam, never took her hand from his shoulder. He was trembling, and a cold sweat had broken out on his brow. It seemed to Sadie that Sam had fallen out of the desert he’d been stuck in, and dropped straight into a very dark night of the soul. She had never seen him so undone. Though she didn’t know what was wrong, she knew that it was indeed perilous. Sam was obviously in very serious trouble. She was grateful that Sam and she were backstage. No one but the team should see Sam like this! He was gray as a gravy boat, and the strain showed on his face.
“Sam, can you tell me what it is about, at least?” Sadie asked quietly.
He shook his head. “Callie. You’ll see.” Is all he would say.
The prayer team gathered, and surrounded Sam with a hedge of vigilant prayer. They prayed for strength. Someone prayed that Sam be given blinders, and he had to smile. That’s exactly what he’d need tonight, to make it through.
“Sam,” Sadie prayed almost fearfully, “You'll have to try to detach yourself from your human heart, to get through this night. Leave your personal misery behind you, and step up into the strength and the glory, in the realm of the Spirit. Lean on the Holy Spirit tonight as you have never done before, and you will make it. Reach into God and trust in His promises, not in what you see.”
Sam nodded, and wiped his forehead and upper lip with his handkerchief. Four or five of the team put their hands directly over Sam’s heart, and began to pray with violent insistence.
Finally, he began to feel the heaviness lift; and the pain began to numb. He thanked the team. They moved to points around Sam, some distance away, but stood as warriors around him in a circle, facing outward, and continued to pray.
Sadie looked up, and caught a glimpse of Callie sitting in the stands. She was wearing a very clinging, sexy black dress with low cleavage and she looked like a glamor queen. She was with a gorgeous man! He was very sexy, and dressed in a sharp black suit with an expensive designer tie. His wavy hair was cut cleanly, and shone under the lights. His teeth were white, and polished. He looked like some kind of expensive male model; and, he was obviously very intent on Callie. She was looking very excited and pleased with herself.
