by Alison Aimes
The door slammed shut.
Lily slid down the side of her desk, her ass hitting the tiled floor.
She’d done what she had to do.
Until now, she’d thought proving she was strong and would never be that helpless, trashy girl again meant never giving up. Meant fighting to the bitter end and coming back harder every time she was knocked down. Doing whatever it took to win.
But falling for Kazankov had one more thing to teach her.
Because this time being strong wasn’t about proving anything at all.
Instead, she was telling the survivor inside to back the hell off and giving up the fight. Sacrificing all the best pieces of herself so Alexi could remain whole.
With a sob, she curled into a tight ball, her chin sinking into the tops of her skinned knees.
Turns out showing real strength really tested one’s mettle—and hurt like hell.
Chapter Thirty-One
“Holy shit. What is that?” Even from down the hallway, Eaton’s loud-ass, stuck-up voice carried to Alexi.
“Something you’d find on the bottom of a shoe,” grunted the second unwelcome visitor. “Housekeeper must have quit, too.”
“No wonder Alexi hires you to do his digging. You’re a real crackerjack detective.”
There was an ouff, the sound of a body hitting the wall, and then Morales stomped through the study door—only to stop short, his hand covering his nose. “Oh Christ. It’s worse in here.”
Eaton scurried in behind, holding his cheek. “You’re an asshole, you know that? You didn’t have to send me into the wall. I—” He stopped short, bringing his briefcase to his nose. “Holy smokes.” He eyed Alexi. “You look like hell.”
Alexi’s gaze swept over the line of Chinese delivery food cartons, leftover pancakes, and empty bottles of scotch. “I’m sick.” He plunked his head onto the back of his leather couch, eyes sinking shut. “Now get the hell out.”
There was a long stretch of blissful quiet.
He knew it wouldn’t last.
Though he couldn’t see it, he was fully aware his “guests” were gesturing wildly at one another.
“This situation isn’t going to fix itself with you hiding away and whining,” griped Morales at last, the apparent loser of the silent war.
Alexi cracked one eye. “I am neither hiding. Nor whining.” He pointed toward the splintered computer screen on the ground. “I made two deals this morning and earned us over five million dollars in the process. Business as usual, my friends.” The words tasted sour and lifeless on his tongue.
Eaton’s sigh was loud. “Lena keeps asking about you.”
Alexi’s chest went tight. “Is she okay?”
“Honestly, she’s still agitated.” His CFO used the tip of his shoe to clear a spot on the rug for his precious briefcase. “We’d hoped she’d have come around by now, but she’s still certain you’re about to throw her over. I think the meds are making her paranoid.”
“I’ll visit tomorrow. Smooth things out.” She’d been a mess since he brought Lily to the hospital.
Yet another thing he’d miscalculated.
“What’s this?” Bored without his phone, Eaton dug into the carton at Alexi’s feet.
“Nothing.” That damn heat at the back of his neck blazed hot once more.
But his CFO kept digging, spilling packing peanuts onto the floor, his gaze shifting toward Morales with a look of resignation when he got to the bottom. “Looks like someone obtained a copy of a certain woman’s diploma and had it framed.”
Alexi snatched the box from Eaton’s grip and stuffed it behind the couch cushion. “Looks can be deceiving.”
He’d thought, for example, that steamrolling over a certain piece-of-fluff-looking woman would be child’s play. Instead, he’d been schooled.
Another stretch of silence ensued before Morales spoke again. “You need to return to the office.”
“I’ll come when I’m ready.”
With a growl, his head of security grabbed the empty trash can under the desk and started hurling bottles and containers inside. “You need to be ready now. Lily Bennett is scheduled to talk to the board this evening. Once she tells them she’s resigning, the board will turn to you. Your takeover will move fast. Lena will finally have her family’s company back. It’s a huge win.”
Sure didn’t feel that way.
Alexi rubbed at the never-ending ache in his chest. “I’ll be ready when the board comes crawling, believe me.” He wasn’t about to fail Lena. She’d stuck it out with him through thick and thin. Believed in him. He would do right by her. Just as he’d vowed from the start.
“Then why not come with us now?” Eaton picked up a half-empty carton from beside the couch and gave it a sniff. Shuddering, he chucked it toward the trash can in Morales’s hand. It hit the rim and bounced out, spilling day-old noodles over the security guard’s shitkickers.
Honestly, it was the first good chuckle Alexi had in a while.
“What the hell, Eaton?” Morales did not look pleased. He slammed the trash can down, sending half the bottles back to the ground, and prowled forward.
“Take it outside.” Even with the chuckle, Alexi was in no mood. “I’m sick. I’m staying. So unless you two have something useful to say, I’ll be back when I’m ready.”
“Good reminder.” Shifting gears, Morales yanked a folded piece of paper from his pocket and held it aloft. “Let’s discuss this.”
Son of a bitch. Alexi didn’t even try and pretend. “How did you get that?”
“This?” His head of security shook the paper harder. “This surveillance record? Of everything Paul Winslow’s done for the last forty-eight hours, including when he wiped his ass?” He stalked closer, a few more noodles flinging onto the floor as he moved. “It came to me by mistake—since the guy tailing him usually reports directly to me.”
Busted. Alexi held out his hand. “Anything interesting?”
His head of security blew out a breath. “No. Why should there be? He was cleared. As was Don Pierson.” Hurt pride sharpened his voice. “There’s no paper trail, no money trail. No evidence at all linking either of them to the attacks. They’re clean—and I don’t like learning you’ve decided to start second-guessing me all of a sudden.”
Alexi shot to standing. “What the hell do you want me to do? Whoever attacked Lily hasn’t been found.”
His friend snarled right back. “Not your problem now. She made that clear.”
“Maybe so.” Alexi absorbed the hit—one he probably deserved—swallowing hard as he sat back down. “But I’m not letting whoever hurt her get away with it.”
Regret flickered in Morales’s gaze, his tone noticeably less gruff when he spoke again. “You’ve already spoken with that fool Reid Finn ten times. Made him promise to beef up security for all his staff, including his soon-to-be newest head of marketing. What more can you do?”
“Whatever it takes.”
“You can’t control everything—and you damn sure can’t save everyone.”
“Why the hell not?” Rubbed raw by Lily’s departure, the specter of his failures with Anastasia loomed larger than ever.
Turned out, he wasn’t quite the Iceman he’d always believed. His preference for short term and superficial not so cut and dried. Lily Bennett had Armageddoned him with a scorched-earth policy that had altered the landscape of his soul.
And despite all that—and the fact that she’d kicked him to the curb because it was just easier—he couldn’t be done with her. Not by a long shot.
Someone had struck out at her three times.
He couldn’t ignore the threat.
He had to know Lily Bennett was out there in the world and safe. Fiery as ever.
Even if he didn’t get to hold her every night or watch her eyes darken with need or see that chin tilt upward and her spine snap straight. She had to be out there dazzling the world. There was no other choice.
He threw his empty bottle acr
oss the room. It hit the wall with a loud crash and then rolled under his desk.
“That’s gonna leave a mark.” Eaton didn’t even blink.
“Look”—Morales was equally unfazed—“I get wanting to figure this out, but Paul Winslow and Don Pierson are not the ones behind the attacks.”
“Then who is? Because I know I’m innocent. Who’s left? Lily’s staff adores her, and Jim Winslow, the only other man I can think of, doesn’t fit the profile. There’s no money trail linking him to the attacks, and that’s definitely not him in the surveillance photos. Honestly, it’s no wonder the police are looking at me again. I’m the best suspect they’ve got.”
“I wouldn’t handle your own defense should this go to trial.” Eaton settled into the nearby armchair, an old pizza box balanced on his bony knees as he reached in and took a big bite of whatever was inside.
Holy shit, the man would literally eat anything.
“That pizza has to be at least a few days old.”
Eaton took another swallow. “Your point?”
Alexi eyed him with new respect.
“We’ve never been bested before.” Ignoring them, Morales paced, his fists opening and closing as he ate up ground. “I don’t like knowing we’re missing something, especially when it matters most.” He stomped harder. “None of this makes any damn sense.”
Alexi agreed. “We’ve been over all the players a million times. Examined everyone’s motives. And come up short every time.”
“Then it has to be someone we haven’t thought of.” Eaton snarfed down another big bite, his gaze glued to the phone he’d pulled from his briefcase. “Someone we wouldn’t even imagine. A consummate bullshitter who we’d never dream would be able to pull off something like this.”
“And who the hell would that—” Alexi stopped short.
His gaze rocketed to Morales.
Who was looking right back at him, his usually olive complexion ghost white. “No.”
Alexi couldn’t suck down enough air. The weight on his chest so heavy it might crush him for good.
But no such luck. A heartbeat later, he was still breathing. Still sitting straight and tall. Still alive to experience every bit of anguish as the pieces of the puzzle fell into place.
Morales staggered to the other armchair, the deep grooves in his face aging him a decade. “All the signs were there. We…we were just too close.” He shook his head. “I wonder how your rival figured it out?” For the first time, his voice was heavy with respect. “Not only figured it out, but took action.”
“Why do you think…” Alexi stopped short. Of course she’d figured it out. And tried to save him. “I was so sure she was pissed at me for not being able to protect her. Instead, she was protecting us all.”
“She’s fierce as hell.” Morales echoed his thoughts. “We should have realized she’d never just give up.”
“What?” Eaton looked up from his phone, confusion written large on his face. “Did I miss something?”
“She was willing to sacrifice everything.”
No one had ever done anything like that for him before.
He was always the one who took care. Who did what needed to be done. With his mom, Anastasia, his friends, his employees. Even Lena.
But when he’d vowed to destroy the person who’d attacked her, Lily, knowing it would tear him in two to keep that promise, chose to destroy herself instead.
“Will someone please tell me what in the name of ducks is going on?” Eaton’s roar shook the room.
“It’s Lena.” The words scraped like knives against Alexi’s throat. “Lena’s the one behind the attacks.”
“What?” scoffed Eaton. “No. Lena’s an old woman.”
“An old woman with nothing but time and one thing on her mind.” Alexi shook his head. “I should have realized.”
“She’s bedridden. Can’t even leave the hospital.” Eaton’s voice rose higher with each objection.
“Which is why the blurred figures in those surveillance photos look familiar. The large one is her orderly Tim. The one with the slight build, her nurse Meg.”
“Shit.” Eyes glazed, his CFO shoved the nearest thing into his mouth. It turned out to be the plastic pizza separator. He spit it onto the floor.
“Exactly,” agreed Alexi. He’d spent so much time trying to redeem himself, trying to make things up to a woman who was already dead, he’d almost missed out on the gift life was offering him now.
“There may be a way to contain this,” suggested Morales. “To leverage what we know so you don’t have to lose.”
“No,” Alexi cut him off. “I’ll be with Lena every step of the way, but I can’t save her from the consequences on this one. Can’t save myself, either.” He pushed to standing. “Not this time.”
He’d been sure he could keep everything—and everyone—in hand. Only to be smacked in the face by the reality that he was in much less control than he’d ever thought.
His head of security rose, too. “We’ll go with you. We’re all responsible for letting it get this far.”
“Thank you, but I need to handle this alone.” It was a hell of a thing to learn that white was black, that up was down, that everything he’d believed might be wrong. But he wasn’t a coward—and he had to be the one to break it to Lena that he wouldn’t be able to be enough for her this time, either.
He headed toward the door, steps heavy. “I’ll call you after I’m done.”
Eaton stepped in front, his arms spread wide. “Are you’re sure this is the way you want to play it?” His eyes held a hint of panic. As if he finally understood that nothing would ever be the same again. “You’re sure you don’t want to sweep this under the rug and forget you ever figured it out? Lily Bennett may never forgive you anyway. You might lose everything.”
Alexi didn’t even hesitate. “I’m sure.”
“Why?” Eaton shifted from denial to horror to defiance in a heartbeat. “Why choose this woman over everything we’ve worked for? Sure, what Lena did was wrong, but hell…we’re no angels. We understand ruthless.”
“It’s going to sound corny.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“Fine.” He met his friend’s gaze head-on. “Because whatever the hell is inside my chest just knows. It comes alive when Lily Bennett enters the room. It matches itself to the beat of her heart whenever we’re skin to skin. It recognizes her scent, her touch, her mind, and it just says ‘mine.’ I can’t explain it any better than that. It’s…it’s just right.”
“Holy shit,” hissed Eaton.
“What?”
“You’re in love.”
“Of course, I’m fucking in love. Falling for a woman like Lily Bennett is easy, but this?” Alexi slammed his chest with a closed fist. “This is much more. Every cell, every muscle, every atom of who I am leans toward her.”
Eaton nodded.
But Alexi wasn’t finished. “She was willing to sacrifice everything for me. I can do no less for her.”
“And Lena?”
He blew out a breath. “Lena is the mother I never had. The woman who got me through when my mom died and Anastasia overdosed…” His chest tore all over again. “But the fact is, I can’t give her back what she really wants—the daughter she lost, the life she never had. And I can’t change all the bad shit that happened to her—or me—all those years ago.”
It was funny to think of all the lies he’d told himself. That he was doing all this for Lena. That he was fine and over the mess with Anastasia, the pain of his father’s brutality, his mother’s death. That he was in control.
But meeting Lily, falling balls-crushingly in love with her, had shone those excuses for what they were—utter bullshit.
He wasn’t fine.
He’d loved his mom, and it had crushed him when she died. He’d loved Anastasia, and it had destroyed him when she gave up.
He’d clung to Lena and her pain because it had been easier than feeling anything himself.
/> But he wasn’t a coward. And it was time to stop behaving like one.
It was time to put aside the past and embrace the present in all its terrifying peaches and honey glory.
He was ready.
Or he would be.
Just as soon as he fixed this mess, stopped the attacks for good, and proved to Lily that he’d willingly lose a million deals if it meant winning her.
“I’ll meet you at the Winslow boardroom.” Time was of the essence.
Morales sighed. “We’ll be there.”
“It won’t be pretty.”
“We’ll be there anyway.”
“I know it and…and I don’t say it enough, but I’m damn grateful for both of you.” Because somewhere along the way these men had become his everything, too. They watched his back, just like he watched theirs—and it had taken until now for him to see that for what it was: a gift. He’d lost a lot in his life, yes, but he’d gained a hell of a lot, too. You couldn’t do better than pain-in-the-ass friends like his.
With a last salute, he left, the pit in his stomach growing with every step forward.
He’d never wanted to be a bully like his dad, but now…now he was about to destroy the dreams of one woman he loved for another—and the burden of that choice would be with him always.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Lily paced the small conference room, index cards in hand. The same damn room where she’d first grabbed Alexi Kazankov and kissed him. The same damn place where she’d derailed her life.
“You okay?” Jessie barreled through the door, her worried expression a good match to the somber blue streaks she’d chosen for today. Jim was right behind, his face equally as somber.
“Nope.” The letters of her resignation speech blurred.
“Don’t do it then.” Her assistant’s jaw tightened. “You’ve worked too hard. We’ve all worked too hard. This company means something to you… You’ve proven that these past few months. Fought tooth and nail to get them to take you seriously. You can’t throw it away now.”
The weight on Lily’s chest grew. She hated to disappoint anyone, most of all Jessie and Jim.
