I came to the area that Cole had blocked off, and this time, I stepped past the boundary. The paintings became more worn and faded the farther I went, but I did what I could to piece together the story. I was particularly interested in the Dahraks. No one seemed to know where they’d come from. I’d asked Cole about, and even he seemed unsure. He told me it was a sensitive subject though, and asked me not to ask anyone else.
Near the beginning of the passage the Dahraks looked smaller, and their flesh wasn’t completely black. One picture in particular drew my eye. Dots of color—orange and yellow—surrounded a Dahrak, and what looked like lightning shot forth from its hands.
I stepped back farther and had to duck out of the way when some small rocks fell from the cavern ceiling.
I guess Cole wasn’t exaggerating about it not being safe, I thought.
The last thing I needed was a concussion—especially when we were so close to freedom—so I walked quickly back the way I’d come
Now that I wasn’t distracted by the paintings, I realized how bone-weary I was. I contemplated where to settle, but there really wasn’t a ‘safe’ place. Demons could come at me from any one of the tunnels, so I decided on the main cavern that overlooked the valley but also gave me access to the rabbit warren of tunnels. At least if I were attacked, I wouldn’t be boxed in.
The moment I sat on the cold floor, I felt the last of my strength leave me. Adrenaline had long since worn off, and my muscles ached from exertion. I fought against heavy eyelids to remain vigilant.
What had Cole meant by the ninth Gate? In class, we’d done a whole thing about there being nine Gateways. Three threes, three is a divine number, blah blah. I strained to remember if anyone had ever said there were nine Institutes and came up empty. Was this just another one of the Institute’s half-truths? But why would they pretend to know that there were nine Gateways if they only knew the locations of eight? Or maybe the Institute knew of one that Cole didn’t, and there really were ten. That was possible.
A yawn split my face and interrupted my thoughts. I slapped my cheeks.
Stay awake, Em. Falling asleep would be a very bad idea.
It was cold, and I thought about lighting a fire, but there was nothing left to burn. Not to mention, it would make me easier to spot. I set the flickering torch in a slot nearby, its flame too small to warm even my nose. How long until it went out, leaving me in total darkness?
I clung to thoughts of Taren and my mother and how close I might be to coming home.
Please let me be coming home.
22
Taren
She looked so cold and so alone.
Curled against the wall of a dark cavern, Ember was sleeping. She looked different. Leaner—not that she’d ever seemed heavy—and harder—not that she ever seemed soft. I willed my dream self to move closer—I needed to see her face. And then I was closer—so close I could have touched her if I’d had arms. I miss you, I thought, looking at her now-hollowed cheeks, her long lashes, her.
Is this really you? I didn’t know if I hoped it was or wasn’t. She was alive, yes, but she was alone. Alone and surrounded by complete and total destruction. Where were Cole and the people she was supposed to be helping? Was she the lone survivor of a battle? How was I going to find her once I jumped?
The pitiful torch sputtered and went out. She was alone, in the dark, in the demon world. That had to be too much even for Ember to handle.
I looked up, wanting to take in every detail of her location—anything to make her easier to locate. What I saw hovering in front of me, was an enormous set of eyes. They looked into mine and narrowed.
The hairs on the back of my non-existent neck stood on end and I began to scream, “Ember, get up, get up! Please, you have to get up!” But she didn’t hear me, just continued to snore softly.
The amber eyes blinked, and somehow I knew this was real; it wasn’t a dream, this was actually happening, right now.
“GET UP!” I yelled, and smashed my fist into the cavern wall, shocked when it actually connected. Debris trickled onto Ember’s head and she roused, her eyes in slits, and then widening in shock. She saw me—I was certain she saw me.
“Tar—”
“Run, Ember, ru—”
A stream of flames engulfed the cavern, blinding me, making me lose sight of Ember.
NO!
I shot up in bed, wild-eyed, my hand throbbing. I ignored it, trying desperately to reconnect with Ember.
Ember! Are you OK? Ember, answer me.
I cursed when I didn’t get a response and shot out of bed, then started pacing. Please be OK, please be OK...
I looked down at my hand. It was swollen and hurt like hell, but I could flex it.
I was really there, wasn’t I? This wasn’t just some trick of my mind, making a dream seem like something more than it was.
I had to go tell Dogan. I grabbed an icepack and was racing out the door when something in the mirror caught my eye and filled me with dread. It was me, clothing singed, and skin covered with soot.
23
Ember
I was in a deep sleep when I felt some dirt and a few pebbles land in my hair. I opened my eyes sleepily, but then—
He was there. Taren was right there in front of me. He was sort of misty, like he was only half-real, and his eyes were wild with fright.
“Run, Ember, ru—”
A deafening whoosh filled the cavern at the same time the flames did. I rolled out of the way just in time to avoid being barbecued.
I scrambled to my feet and ran down one tunnel, and then another.
What was that?
Cole!
I didn’t bother shielding my thoughts; we’d been found. As if to punctuate my point, the earth shook, causing rocks to rain down on me.
Use a secure chan-
Just listen, I said. There’s something out there. A fire-breathing something. How far away are you?
Cole narrowed his thoughts for my mind only. Less than an hour. You have to hold on until then.
More shaking and I fell to my knees, wondering, Hold on to what? But I didn’t say that to Cole.
Hurry, was all I said.
24
I ran deeper and deeper into the mountain, but the walls continued to crumble around me. If I didn’t get crushed by a boulder, I’d likely get trapped in a section of tunnel. I stumbled past a familiar pathway and turned around, darting up the earthen steps. My lungs ached from effort and smoke. What the hell breathes fire? I pressed on, taking the steps two at a time, following the smoke as it billowed toward freedom.
The closer I got, the lighter the path became. Day was breaking. Moments later, I skidded to a halt before the small opening in front of me. This was one of many lookout points for the Oasis. I lowered myself to my belly and shimmied the way I’d seen scouts do in the past. I looked to my left. Below stretched the wasteland, as well as the boundary that had once divided it from the Oasis. No demons that I could see. No legions of Dahraks or Snakes. I squinted at the twisted and gnarled trees. No Monkeys, no Birds. I inched forward and took in the burnt remains of the valley. Nowhere to hide down there—almost everything had been burned away. A few more inches and I steadied myself. All had been quiet for over a minute now, which made my hairs stand on end.
Slowly, slowly...
I turned my head, peeking out just enough to see the mouth of the main cavern where the beast had first attacked.
Nothing.
I pulled myself out farther, craning now, to see where it had gone. I’d only seen part of its head, but I was sure it was too big to have entered the cavern, and though the opening had crumbled, it was intact. Maybe it didn’t matter where it went; the important part was that it was gone. Maybe it thought it had killed me. Even if it came back, soon Cole would be here and could help.
I flopped down on my belly and closed my eyes, a wave of relief flooding through my body.
I turned over on my back and whispered,“Thank you
,” to no one in particular.
I opened my eyes, expecting to see the swirling red and black clouds that plagued this world.
What I saw was a dragon.
25
Glowing amber eyes regarded me with intelligence and menace. Its scales shimmered and undulated with its breath. I knew I should run. I was supposed to be running—for crap’s sake, there was a dragon on the ledge above me—but I was frozen in place. Until its giant nostrils flexed.
Then I flung myself forward, just before the great whoosh, and toppled end over end down the stone steps. I bounced off the corner and slid a few more feet, flames engulfing the part of the passageway I was just in.
Everything hurt, I was pretty sure I’d sprained my ankle, and there were no handrails. I did more stumbling than walking. The walls shook, and I fell. A small voice inside me said, Use the Chasm, but I pushed it aside. Only if there was no other choice.
I pulled myself to my feet. I had to go deeper. If I could get deep enough, the shaking would stop. It had to stop. I’ll find Cole and—
A frightening thought occurred to me.
Cole! Are you there?
No answer.
Cole!
What if their tunnel had caved in?
Sadah!
I was panicked, but I didn’t dare just broadcast my thoughts—the Root had enough of an advantage without me pinpointing my location.
The tunnel shook violently. In front of me the ceiling caved in, sending boulders tumbling toward me. I threw myself out of the way in time, but when I looked back, I was horrified at what I saw. The path was completely blocked. I scrambled over, pushing, pulling, but it was no use. I sank to the ground. I was going to die—by fire or boulder. When there was no other choice, I’d said. But I did have a choice. And if I were going to die, it would be by fire.
I closed my eyes and deepened my breathing. Dirt and stones fell down around me, but I paid them no attention. I found the light behind my eyes. That perfect light—a mix of silver and gold—the color of the Gateway that I knew still glowed in the sky. I let it envelop me, and as it did, I became more aware of my surroundings, and yet less frightened of my circumstances.
I would only have one chance. One chance to touch the Chasm before the Root found me.
I opened myself fully, and instead of reaching out, felt myself pulling in. Pulling in the power and electricity. My skin buzzed and crackled with something more than life. Like in the dreams I’d had at Alexander’s, I opened my mouth to cry out, but the energy just kept rushing in, stopping all sound, stopping all feeling, but that of being repeatedly shocked. My mind was nothing but a collection of atoms spinning out of control—no coherent thought remained.
A section of the mountain blew apart, snapping me out of my trance. The Chasm still rushed through me, but I was exposed. Wind whipped every which way and I strained to see where the enemy was. I heard the flapping of leathery wings and wheeled around to see the demon in all its terrifying glory.
The Root inhaled deeply and I knew what was coming next. I ducked behind a boulder, but I needn’t have—the flames didn’t touch me. Nothing could touch me. Not with this energy—this perfect, absolute power—coursing through me. With this, I was invincible.
For the first time, it occurred to me that the Root wasn’t inside my mind. I really was getting good at the whole shielding thing.
Again, the fire, and again, it slid past the invisible barrier I’d put up. The Root’s wings beat wildly in frustration.
Cole had taught me that the absolute, hardest thing to do was levitate yourself, and yet I rose into the air easily, coming to a stop in front of the beast, and then let it hear my thoughts.
You’re done.
I placed my fingers to my lips and then softly blew a kiss.
What started as the tiniest of currents intensified exponentially; the electricity becoming visible as it grew, buzzing and crackling with life, finally pushing its way into those immense nostrils.
The dragon shook its head, snorting, trying to stop the flow, but I kept on with my kiss. The Root twisted and shrieked.
And then it exploded, raining down black guts everywhere but on me. I lowered myself slowly to the ground, giddy with victory.
The feeling only lasted a moment. The energy rushed out of me as quickly as it had come. I sank to my knees, exhausted and grateful.
Movement caught my eye and I tensed, but then smiled with relief. Cole! Cole, and Sadah carrying Grae, and Aryn, and—
Cole was the first to call out, “Ember, are you all right? What happened?”
I didn’t have the energy to tell the whole story; I was fading fast. Instead, I lowered my shield so that everyone—even Taren—could see.
I heard someone say, “Wow,” and then I was gone.
26
Taren
“She’s alive!”
I was pacing in Master Dogan’s quarters. I’d burst in on him while he slept and rushed through what I’d seen.
I hadn’t been able to reach her since I’d woken. But then I’d felt her burst forth in my mind, and a second later I was flooded with images—images I knew that she was sending me. Showing me what had happened.
“God, is she powerful,” I said, awed.
“What do you see?” said Master Dogan anxiously. “Can you contact her?”
I took a breath, ready to send a thought as hard as I could, but then...
“She’s...gone,” I said in disbelief.
“You cannot reach her?” Dogan said.
“No, I mean she’s gone. She’s not there anymore. It’s like she just disappeared. She can’t have...” I couldn’t say it out loud, because it couldn’t be true. She couldn’t have survived all that and then just...no. “What could cause her to disappear?”
“Aside from…” Dogan didn’t want to think it, either. “She could need a Retrieval, but she’s already in the demon world...”
“A Retrieval. That might make sense. It felt like she was being pulled, but by what? She’s already in Hell; where could she have gone?”
“Inside herself,” Master Dogan said. “Ember fights many monsters, only some of which come from the demon world.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Where do you think she is?”
“The most dangerous place is within our own minds.”
27
Ember
I hadn’t fallen, but I was definitely down. So far down the bottom of a well, the exit was nothing but a pinprick of light above me.
I was so, so tired. All I wanted to do was sleep. Forever. I remembered killing the Dragon as though it had happened a long time ago, to someone else. I wasn’t powerful. I was nothing.
I closed my eyes because there really was nothing left to do.
Ember. Taren’s voice was urgent in my mind, but I ignored it. Not because I didn’t believe it was really him, but because I didn’t care.
Ember. Even more urgent. I was too tired to block it out.
Leave me alone, I said.
Never.
A small, detached part of me knew I was in the middle of a depressive episode on steroids, but knowing didn’t help.
I mean it, Taren. Just go.
Please, Ember. Listen to me. Get up.
How many times had I said those exact words to my mother? Sometimes yelling, most of the time pleading. It never worked. She got up when she felt like it. I was never going to feel like it again.
I saw what you did, Ember. I saw it. You are so strong, so beautiful—
Taren, please, just let me sleep. I’m so tired…
With that, my consciousness slid down so deep, even Taren couldn’t follow.
28
Taren
“She’s not listening,” I said, my jaw tight. “And now she’s asleep or something.”
“What’s her tether?” my mother asked.
Dogan had called for my parents and Kat, and they now sat with me at the table. He was coaching me, teaching me how to perf
orm a Retrieval. I’d been so relieved when I could feel Ember again but she was refusing to listen.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I should know, dammit, but I don’t even know if she decided on one.”
“It’s you,” Kat said. “Or her mother. She doesn’t love anyone they way she loves the two of you.”
I shut my eyes and went back in.
29
Ember
Ember, I love you. I love you, and your mother loves you so much. Please come back to us. We can’t live without you. Please.
Why wouldn’t he just leave me alone?
I’d been having a dream of sorts. I saw my life play out in scenes behind my closed eyes. Manic episode after depressive episode, after manic...it was a never-ending loop.
At first, Taren was patient. Then he tried to be firm. And then he left. And I couldn’t blame him. Hadn’t I been looking forward to leaving my mother for as long as I could remember? And I was worse than my mother—I was crueler. Harsher with my words, stonier with my silences.
It was a special kind of hell, watching myself ruin everything and not be able to stop it. To live like that, forever...
Yes! Taren broke in. Yes, to live like that, if you must. Or on medication if you choose to, with lots of therapy, or somewhere in between, but to live! You told me how it felt when you jumped into the Root in Los Angeles. Even though you were in agony, you wanted to live—for the very first time. I don’t know what the future will hold, and I want to promise you that I’ll always be there, but maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll die, or maybe you will push me away, or we might just stop loving each other. But you will be alive to see it, Ember. You will be alive, because life is your tether. I love you, but come back for you. Only you. Come back because you’re going to live as long as you’re alive. Any other reason is bullshit.
The Gateway Trilogy: Complete Series: (Books 1-3) Page 47
