She howled and dropped her blade, then clutched her head, writhing in agony. It was the same effect the Sanctuary had had on Cole and me—on any demon who had touched it.
She launched herself back toward the boundary, but I shoved her backward toward salvation.
“Let me go,” she hissed, then tried to dart past me.
“Can’t do it,” I said, pushing her back again.
“But it burns,” she whimpered.
“I know” I said. “I know. But only for a little while.”
She collapsed into a panting, crying heap on the grass. I went to comfort her, but the second I did, she flung me off of her and darted away. I grabbed at her foot, but she kicked me, hard. Once past the boundary, she faced me. Her eyes flashed green and red, as though a war were being waged behind her eyes.
“Fight, Kat. Fight it. You know who you are.” I scrambled over to her.
The red light winked out—her green eyes focusing on me—and I knew she was Kat again. A split-second later, her breath caught and her eyes widened in surprise and terror.
“Oh shi—” Her eyes rolled back in her head and she crashed to the ground.
Frantically I searched for a pulse, only breathing when I found one. I contemplated rolling her back into the Sanctuary, but she wasn’t still a Red. What was this? Did she need a Retrieval? It was crazy—Guardians didn’t need Retrievals—but what wasn’t crazy lately? If it was a Retrieval she needed, I wasn’t supposed to bring her into the Sanctuary—she wouldn’t be able to find herself if part of her was in the demon world.
“Ember!” Taren called to me from across the yard. He sensed something was wrong and raced over. “What happened?” he said, trying to thumb Kat’s eyelids open.
“She tried to kill me—she was a Red,” I said frantically, checking her pulse.
“She was a R—?”
“Never mind,” I said, not daring to waste time explaining. “What’s her tether?”
“She’s a Guardian,” Taren said, bewildered. “We don’t have tethers.”
But she did. When it comes down to it, we all do. Something anchors us at times when we feel as though we might fly into a million pieces. When life gets too hard and we want to give up, something stops us. “You’re a Guardian,” I said, shaking her. Duty was drilled into Guardians from birth. It had worked with Taren; maybe… “You are a Guardian at the Institute that guards the Gateway in Los Angeles, and we need you.”
Nothing, and then...a twitch. The slightest twitch at the corner of her eye.
Taren caught on.
“Get up, soldier.” He shook her with none of the gentleness I had. “On your feet. On your feet right now, or I swear to God your tombstone will read, ‘Here lies Katrina Vetrov. She failed in her duty.’”
A grunt.
“‘She died a traitor, trying to kill her most important asset. She’s used as an example of weakness, of what never to do—‘”
Kat gasped and her eyes flew open.
“You son of a—” Her curse was stifled when she buried her face in Taren’s chest, her arms gripping him tightly until she managed, “Thank you. You’re a total jerk and I really hate you right now, but thank you.”
Taren smiled but looked at her grimly and said, “Don’t ever do that to me again.”
“Or me,” I said, relieved to see my friend was back to being my friend.
Kat noticed me for the first time and it must have brought back the memory of what had sent her running in the first place.
“Oh God, Oh God...” She clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob.
“It’s OK,” I said, gripping her other hand. “It’s OK. I’m fine. It’s not your fault.”
I knew by the guilt still in her eyes that my words rang hollow, but she gave me a tight, grateful smile.
She turned back to Taren and said, “I think it might be time I set up camp inside the Sanctuary. Think your parents have room for me on the floor?”
Taren and I exchanged looks and I said, “Um…”
And that’s how Kat learned why she might not want to stay with Taren’s parents.
45
“That is either genius or suicide,” Kat said once I’d spilled the secret.
“I seem to dance on that edge a lot,” I said with a half-hearted smile.
“An impromptu picnic?” Crystle said, walking toward us.
The three of us were still sitting on the grass where Kat had fallen.
“We seem to have forgotten the food,” I said.
“Oh,” Crystle said, catching the I’ll-tell-you-later vibe of the look I gave her. “Well, I’m meeting Michael, anyway. See you.”
I smiled and waved goodbye, wondering what I’d tell her instead of the truth. Crystle was dealing with her fading Mark; she didn’t need to know that there were three Dahraks—however former—living a quarter-mile from her.
When she was out of earshot, Taren said, “What I still want to know, is how will we ever be sure we can trust them? They could turn on us at any time. And if they do, all they’d have to do is unlock these holding cells they want us to build and let the Dahraks loose. Los Angeles would fall within days.”
“Not to mention that if they access the Sanctuary, what protects the students? Or any of us?” Kat said.
“Excellent points,” I said. “I agree with both of you, and the thought scares the crap out of me. But when I think about what kind of chance we stand against what’s coming for us from the demon world… Well, that scares me even more.”
It was an impossible situation. As usual.
“So we can keep killing Dahraks, which is going to seriously piss off the three hanging out at your parents’ cabin,” Kat said. “Or we can do it their way and hope for the best.”
“Pretty much,” I said. “So what do you guys think?”
“I think it’s an impossible situation,” Taren said with a wry smile that told me he’d heard my thoughts. I must have dropped my shield during my fight with Kat. I’d have to be more careful; it could get pretty embarrassing inside my brain sometimes.
“As usual,” I added.
I told Kat she could sleep in my room, and she gratefully accepted, surprised that I would trust her again so readily. I chose not to remind her that if she were still a Red, she’d be unable to step foot inside the dormitory anyway.
Then Taren and I walked her over to Master Dogan’s. He’d want to be informed of what had happened. Guardians turning into Reds posed an enormous threat; he’d have lots of questions.
We left her at the door, looking like she was headed to the firing squad.
I tried to be reassuring, but I knew how exhausting this type of session with Master Dogan could be. He really did want to know everything.
We both hugged her, and I told her I’d see her back at our room.
Taren and I walked away, and I was grateful I’d managed to avoid a meeting between him and Cole. That was going to have to be handled very delicat—
“So, I met your friend, Cole,” Taren said with forced casualness.
“Oh really?” I said, my voice an octave too high. “How did that happen?”
“The usual way,” he said. “I went over to see him.”
“Oh,” I said. Now what?
“How angry were you that Cole didn’t tell you about the danger of using the Chasm?” he said, and my breath caught.
“P-pretty angry,” I said. Why on Earth would Cole have admitted that?
“Me too,” he said, and stopped walking. “He didn’t have any right to keep that from you.”
“No,” I said, lowering my head. “And I…”
“Should have told me,” he said.
There was anger in the bond, but even more heartbreaking was the disappointment. It washed over me, filling me with guilt.
“I’m sorry,” I said, meeting his eyes. “I thought about it…but I decided it might all be too much too soon. My manic episodes, the possibility of becoming a Dahrak. It’s a lot to ta
ke in.”
“You’re right,” he said. “It is. But that’s not why you didn’t tell me. You didn’t tell me because you thought it would be easier.”
It was hard to argue the point. I knew Taren would be furious with Cole and I also knew that he was going to have to work with him.
“What now?” I said. I’d never had a real boyfriend before, and this was our first real fight. “How do I make it better?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I think I need some time.”
“Time?” I said, my voice sounding as small and scared as I felt. I couldn’t lose Taren, not when I’d just gotten him back.
“Yeah,” he said, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “There’s so much going on, and the one thing I thought I could count on…”
His words stabbed at my heart. He felt betrayed, and I couldn’t blame him. But he had to forgive me. He had to.
“I’m gonna go,” he said, and my heart hammered in my chest.
“No, not yet,” I said. “You have to let me explain…”
“You have explained,” he said. “And I understand as much as I’m going to. But my head is splitting and I just can’t deal with this right now.”
“Ok,” I said, looking at the ground so he wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. “We can talk then.”
He strode away, taking my heart with him.
I ducked into my room, avoiding any contact with Callie and the others. I didn’t feel like talking. I crawled under the covers and curled into a ball, one hand closed around the Celtic rune around my neck that Taren had given me for my birthday.
I felt Taren’s presence in my mind, a tight ball of anger, disappointment, and stress.
I hated that I’d been the one to cause those feelings, and so in return, I sent him love. I filled our bond with it, hoping he would feel it and not shut me out.
Later, when Kat came in, I feigned sleep and listened while she unrolled her sleeping bag and settled in.
It wasn’t long before feigned sleep became real sleep, and mercifully, I slept through the night.
46
Morning came and Kat and I had coffee, but I didn’t say anything about my fight with Taren. Talking about it would make it more real, and I didn’t want it to be real.
The second I’d had my last sip I ducked out, telling her I had a meeting with Master Dogan and Annys. I was anxious to see how the trio were progressing, and we needed to plan the best way to use them out on patrol. I’d wanted Taren to be there, but I hadn’t heard from him, so I went alone.
Annys was annoyed that I’d shared our secret, but even she came to see that I’d had little choice. And we both knew that Taren would have been one of the first to be told anyway. Kat, too, for that matter.
I was shocked to find how quickly the Dahraks were progressing—especially the female. Her nose had gotten a little smaller, her eyes a little larger, and her skin was healing nicely. I began calling her Cara. I couldn’t be sure that was really her name, but it was the closest approximation I could make with my human mouth so I went with it. She didn’t seem to mind, and once again was eager to communicate.
We’d been working together for twenty minutes when Taren arrived.
“Hi,” I said, rising to my feet. It was strange not to kiss him hello. And painful.
“Hi,” he said, sounding as awkward as I felt. “Annys called. She thought I should start working with them.”
“OK,” I said. “That’s good. I’ll introduce you. This is Cara.”
Cara had been working on her smile, and she almost pulled it off.
Taren was wary, I could tell, but Cara possessed an open nature that put him at ease. A little bit, anyway. I had no doubt that on any patrol he led, Taren would have as many eyes on her as he had looking for Dahraks.
It wasn’t long before he and Cara had found a common language using hand signals, with me as a translator. Taren showed her the hand motions that Guardians used, and Cara taught him the basic sounds she would make to ensure Dahraks that it was safe to surrender. She was adamant that there was a large section of the population on this side of the Gateway that had come specifically for this opportunity to get better.
It made me wonder about the lost members of Cole’s tribe. Over the years, more had succumbed than Zoe. Dahraks lived much longer than their Daemon counterparts in the demon world. They were of that world—they belonged there, whereas the Daemons had been dying younger and younger, just like their crops. There was no telling where this might lead. Would relatives lost a decade ago be healed?
After a while, I left Taren to work with Cara and I went to work with the two males. Their healing was remarkable as well, they just weren’t very telepathic, which made it harder to communicate. We did our best, but after a couple of hours I was ready to be done.
I was preparing to leave when Annys and Master Dogan emerged from Gretchen and Richard’s cottage, where they’d been holed up since shortly after I’d arrived. It was time to talk strategy, she announced, so Taren and I sat down with the two of them and began working out details.
It wasn’t long before an argument broke out about how many Guardians to bring. Taren wanted every available Guard with him, while Annys was adamant that safety had to be tempered with discretion.
“The surest way for a secret to get out is to tell it,” Annys said.
“And the surest way to get my people killed is to fall into some Dahrak trap,” Taren countered.
“What about Cole?” I said.
“What about him?” Taren said, but he knew what I was getting at.
“He’s one of the most gifted telepaths alive. If anyone can ferret out ulterior motives that might be lurking inside Cara, it’s Cole.”
I looked to Master Dogan, and he nodded in agreement.
“It does make sense,” he said. “Cole’s abilities are impressive, to say the least.”
Taren rolled his eyes, but however strong his dislike of Cole, he would never put his people in danger unnecessarily. “Fine, let him come. He can watch Cara, and I’ll watch him.”
The meeting ended and Taren and I walked back to the main grounds together.
We were silent at first and I struggled with what to say. I didn’t feel much of anything from our bond. Was he shutting me out, or had he just calmed down?
“I might have been too hard on you,” he said finally. “I’m sorry.”
Of all the things I’d thought he might say, that wasn’t one of them.
“Taren, you don’t have anything to be sorry about,” I said, turning to face him. “You were right; I should have told you.”
“You should have, but I should have been more understanding about why you didn’t. It was just…the kiss, and you not needing me anymore and—”
“My what?” I said.
“Never mind,” he said. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s very clearly not nothing,” I said. “Tell me…please.”
“It’s just…you don’t really need me anymore,” he said, and sadness flooded our bond.
“Says who?” I said.
“Says the facts,” he replied. “It’s my duty to protect you, but you don’t need protecting anymore. Look at you. You’re as strong as any Guardian now, and you have Daemon power—even if you don’t use the Chasm.”
I took his face in my hands and looked deep into his eyes, flooding our bond with the deep love I felt for him.
“Taren, listen to me because I only want to say this once. You are absolutely right—I don’t need you to save me anymore. Not from Reds or demons. But that does not mean I don’t need you. I still need you, Taren. I just can’t hide behind you anymore; I want you beside me. Can you be OK with that?”
His answer was a kiss so deep that it filled parts of me I didn’t know had been empty.
Breathless, I said, “By the way, that does not mean I don’t need you to save me from myself from time to time. I have it on good author
ity that I tend to be impulsive.”
“I’ll do my best,” he said, “but you tend not to listen.”
“I’m going to do better about that,” I said, hoping I could make good on it.
47
The next few days were a blur of meetings, planning, and chanting.
Between the three, my favorite part was definitely the chanting.
The sounds, when strung together, made a beautiful song that enchanted both the land and the person singing. Regardless of what Annys had said about the Keepers being spread too thin, it became a favorite pastime of theirs to soothe frayed nerves after a shift at the Gate.
I’d have loved to spend more time cross-legged and communing with the Sanctuary, but between my resumed duties as a Keeper, working with Cara and now Darys and Lukos—the two males who were now healed enough to begin communicating… Let’s just say that the caffeine was medicinal at that point. If I could have started an IV drip, I would have.
It was six in the morning, almost a week after I’d introduced Taren to Cara, when I heard a soft knock at my door. Kat was on patrol so I knew it wasn’t her. I clicked the brew button on my espresso machine and went to answer it.
It was Callie, looking sleepy and small, her too-long pajama bottoms rolled up so she didn’t trip on them.
“Hey,” I said, taking a step back so she could come in.
“Hey,” she said with a yawn that split her face. “Can I get some coffee?”
“You drink coffee now?” I said, remembering that less than six months ago, when she and her roommates had bought me the espresso machine, all she would drink was hot chocolate.
“It’s been a long few months,” she said. “But, um, I’ll take a mocha if that’s OK.”
“I think I can arrange it,” I said, gesturing for her to sit on the bed.
Before I could start on her coffee, there was another knock at the door. This time it was Crystle.
The Gateway Trilogy: Complete Series: (Books 1-3) Page 54
