by Ella James
Carlin jabbed a finger at Monte’s chest. “The real question is can I ride one of the sleds.”
“Me too!” Meredith cried.
Monte laughed. “I’ll see what I can do. What about you, Julia? Want a sled ride?”
She shook her head. “Not on my bucket list.”
“Hmmm… Hey, are you feeling okay? You look a little under the weather.”
It took everything she had to laugh. To brush her fingers over the hood of her ski coat, pinching off some snow. “I think I am.”
“You guys need to take better care of this one,” Monte said as he headed off toward cricket and curling. “Stay dry.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The ski lifts reminded Julia of a row of tiny metal lunchboxes strung up on a black shoestring. Luckily, it wasn’t really shoestring, because the lift carried them high enough to make her stomach bottom out. So high she got nervous, even with Cayne’s arms around her, and her head started hurting badly again.
She and Cayne occupied one corner of their twelve-seater lift. He leaned close to her, and Julia burrowed into his warm neck. “I think Monte is onto me,” she said miserably. “Also, I feel…really bad,” she sniffed, and thought she really must be out of it if she was whining to Cayne.
His fingers started gently stroking her forehead. “Let’s go back down. We’ll find Edan. I have an idea of where he is.”
“But Ice Cricket.”
Cayne shook his head. “There will be other game of Ice Cricket.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. If I’d known it hurt this bad, I’d have never let you put it off.”
“I think it got worse again,” she mumbled.
“Let’s go find Edan now. This is the best time, if we’re interested in discretion.” He smiled a sweet, soft smile—so gentle and un-Cayne-like, it stole her breath. “It’s my birthday, right?”
“It is.” She returned the smile with effort.
“This is what I want. I know you wanted to celebrate, but I can see it isn’t working.” His eyes darkened. “We need to get this taken care of.”
Julia didn’t want to find Edan anymore, though. Not after what Drew had told her about his vision.
“Do you trust him? Like really?” she asked Cayne.
He put a finger under her chin, stroking lightly. “I trust him to help you.”
“Fine,” she sighed. “But if he can’t, when we tell Drew and Carlin…” She shook her head, feeling unable to express her thoughts.
“When we tell Drew and Carlin, what?”
“I don’t want to give up my autonomy for the group. Any choice we make—it should be mostly mine. Even if it does impact everyone.”
Cayne nodded. “I’m on your side. Always.”
Despite their plans to go back down, they filed off at the top of the mountain, because the others had filed off the lift before Julia got a chance to mention her plans to them. It was windy and thick with snowflakes. Julia saw the sharp cliff, below which ice climbers waited, as well as a ledge where people were jumping off with gliders that seemed equipped for the snow. There was a little hut where music played, and under its roof a bonfire burned.
Julia pushed through a group of men and grabbed Mer’s jacket, and her friend knew what was happening without needed to be told. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“That’s okay. Cayne will be with me.”
“What do you want me to tell the others?” Drew and Carlin had spotted Jacquie and were walking her way.
“Time alone,” Julia said with effort.
“Okay. Find Edan. If it doesn’t work, we’ll do something else. Anything you want, okay?”
Julia nodded, and Cayne helped her back into the lift. It was empty except for them, so Cayne took her hands gently and pulled her between his legs. “Closer,” he murmured, pulling her against his chest. “I want you close.”
She leaned against him, resting her palms on his thick shoulders. She had just closed her eyes when a gust of cold air flipped her hair back and she turned to see an Authority step in.
She hadn’t seen him before, but he was obviously one of them: beautiful and uncommonly tall and thick, with strong arms and chestnut brown hair that reminded her of Edan’s.
He slid onto the bench on the other side of the lift without a word. Julia saw Cayne’s face tighten, and then the lift was moving.
For at least a minute there was nothing but the soft thrum of the motor as it carried them down. The snow billowed in a fluffy cloud outside the glass, and as the lift propelled them through the air, their breaths began to fog the windows.
Despite her pain, despite her exhaustion, Julia found herself angling her body to stare at the Authority. She simply couldn’t help it. He was fiercely beautiful, awesome in the most literal sense of the word. With his show-stopping blue eyes, chiseled lips, stubble-rough jaw, and impossibly cut body, he looked like…a demigod. Which she guessed he kind of was.
She felt like a traitor to Cayne, whose arms were wrapped protectively around her. As Julia pried her eyes away from the Authority and prayed Cayne would be able to hold his temper, the angel turned and fixed her with a star hot as a torch, intense enough to burn.
“Julia, correct?” he asked, in a voice that was totally accentless.
She nodded, heart thumping. “Who are you?”
“You can call me…Michael.” Cayne tensed, and the authority smiled. “Not my real name. But easy for you to speak.”
His eyes, still on hers, seemed to be speaking in a word-less language; knowledge simmered in them—knowledge and a profound thoughtfulness. She had the sense that he was deliberately ignoring Cayne, focusing only on her.
“I am here to warn you.” While he stared through her and the words sank in like poison, Cayne tensed beside her, poised for trouble. But that was impossible to imagine. Everything about the Authority exuded calm control.
“Did you know that you are the subject of Methuselah’s designs?”
Cayne leaned forward, hands on his knees. “She doesn’t need to know anything from you.”
“I am here to tell her,” Michael said simply.
“Tell me what?” Julia said. It was all she could do not to walk across the moving floor and kneel at the Authority’s snow-caked leather boots.
“You are meant to be a human sacrifice.”
Julia shuddered, suddenly less enthralled with the Authority’s beauty. “I already picked up on that.”
“But do you know who will deliver the killing blow?”
Julia shook her head.
“He will,” the angel said, and he pointed at Cayne.
Cayne was up in an instant, moving toward the Authority. “I don’t know who you got your information from, but you’re wrong. I’d cut out my own heart before I’d harm a single hair on her head.”
“And yet…” The angel’s long, strong fingers met, forming a steeple.
“And yet, what?” Cayne demanded. Julia’s pulse was thundering because now he was standing over the angel, who was looking up at him with a certain…energy.
“And yet.” The angel’s mouth twisted in a smirk.
Neither he nor Cayne moved as the two waged some silent war. “Your presence wreaks havoc here. You will be its demise.”
“Have you told Jacquie any of this?” Cayne asked, quietly.
“It’s not her time,” the angel said. “But she will know. Soon.”
Julia was shaking when the doors opened and “Michael” sauntered out. Moving stiffly, Cayne grabbed her hand and pulled her to the crowd. “I know where Edan is. We need to go there now. Force him to heal you. Leave.”
Julia thought of Drew’s vision and felt her eyes sting with tears; she didn’t want to go see Edan.
“What’s going on?” she cried, lowering her voice when a woman in a blue snow suit stared. “Why does the Authority think that? Have you been hiding something from me?”
“I’m not hiding anything. I don’t know wh
at he was talking about.” Cayne sounded as angry as she felt, and his hand around hers was heavy as an iron band as they pushed through a crowd of children sheltering under a snow awning.
He pulled her into the main building and led her down one of the rounded, red-carpeted hallways, which grew less crowded with each step away from the madness on the porch. When the hall cleared completely and Cayne pushed through the door into a stairwell, Julia jerked her hand from his.
“So The One has to sacrifice themself, and you’re supposedly involved, and you’ve never heard anything about it ever? I want to believe you, but…”
“I don’t know anything, and I don’t care what some angel says about anything. I would never, ever, ever hurt you, and I won’t let you be some sacrifice! I’ll die first!”
“It sounds like maybe you can’t help it!”
“I can and I will, once we get to Edan. I’ll get this figured out.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s downstairs, not too far,” Cayne growled. “Come on.”
Once again, Cayne was pulling her, but this time he was gentler. She could see his aura burning with emotion: anger, fear, and love were bold flames; her mind’s eye found his love and focused on it.
“I’m scared,” she confessed. His strong fingers pressed against her smaller, thinner, colder ones, and for not the first time, Julia felt like she was fading away, disappearing, dying, while Cayne raged with life.
They had reached the bottom of the stairwell, and Cayne’s hand was on the heavy, metal door that led into the basement, when he turned around so quickly Julia gasped. His body was coiled, his face taut, so at first she expected something rough. His hands plunged into her hair, his head snapped down, his hot mouth covering her own—but what came after was a gentle rain: his mouth on hers, warm velvet, and his lips brushing, his tongue caressing, his fingers stroking gently through her hair.
“Julia….” And it shocked her, the bleeding wound of the word. The way he brought her tight against.
“Oh…” It felt amazing, leaning on him. Sagging against him, knowing that his hands would keep her on her feet. It felt so good, just letting go. She shut her eyes and exhaled slowly, and when she tried to hug him tight, at first she didn’t realize that she couldn’t feel her right hand. All she felt was Cayne, so warm and sturdy. Cayne, wrapped around her like a blanket.
Her fingertips dragged against the fabric of his ski coat, and the epiphany exploded in her brain: she could feel the texture only bluntly, like the pressure of a dentist’s fingers on a numb mouth.
For the first time, maybe ever, she grabbed the reins of her emotions in a firm hand—a very numb, but very firm hand—and she simply shut them down.
Using her left hand, she rubbed her right shoulder and eased the hand into her coat pocket, holding Cayne’s gaze as she did. She wouldn’t tell him this right now, not with that haunted look in his eyes.
His arms were roving over her, wiping tears that dampened her cheeks.
“S-sorry,” she said. “I think I got overwhelmed.”
It was like a car-crash, realizing that her fingers wouldn’t work. That whole arm wouldn’t work. But she gritted her teeth, and she tipped her forehead to Cayne’s coat and let him hold her, rubbing circles on her back before he turned around and led her through the basement door.
The sharp detergent smell reminded Julia of Floating, and further back, of being in group home, in the laundry closet.
“It’s okay,” he murmured, holding her to his side, their steps in perfect sync despite his much longer legs. “Here he is.”
Cayne pushed through a gray door with a window on the top, and they found Edan sitting in a plastic chair beside a row of bright white washers and dryers.
Julia’s eyes found his, but his gaze was locked on Cayne’s.
“I can’t help her. I told you it would go too far for me.”
“It’s only been a day.”
“I have no control over how fast it takes hold.” Edan was on his feet, glancing over at Julia, tipping his head fractionally before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his pants and sucking back a deep breath. “Last time was like warming someone cold to prevent frostbite. It hadn’t sunk in.” Edan’s eyes met Cayne’s and held. “This time, the tissue’s dead. It’s too late.”
Instead of feeling fear, Julia simply watched Cayne’s face—the war there. The wanting, oh so much, to grab Edan by the neck and squeeze. The way he swallowed, shifted, rubbed his jaw.
“Are you telling me,” he gritted, “there’s nothing you can do?”
Edan held his arms out. “It’s moving fast.”
He held Cayne’s gaze for just a second before his eyes swung to Julia’s, full of regret. “Going to them is the only option.”
“You mean going to The Three.”
“Going to The Three.” He nodded.
Now Cayne stepped toward Edan, blocking his escape. “You need to try.”
Edan’s hands went out, the classic ‘not me’ stance. His eyes flickered up to something above Julia’s head, and she thought she heard a soft tapping.
“That’s my call. I’ve gotta go.”
And the suddenly, he was gone. Cayne’s mouth fell open. “How—what?”
“Cayne,” Julia whispered, and then she crumpled. He caught her, and the tapping sound grew louder, turning into footsteps. She looked past Cayne’s arm and saw the door open. Monte walked in.
“I can help you,” he said.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Meredith stepped out of the elevator, glancing up and down the rounded hallway before veering left—not right, the way she’d go to reach her own room. Room 533 was just a quick sprint away, a little longer if she speed-walked—and Meredith didn’t think she could sprint in her snow boots without falling on her ass. Besides, her stomach was fluttering so much it was making her feel sick.
Good flutters? Bad flutters? She didn’t freaking know.
She wished she could’ve gone with Julia and Cayne to track down Edan, the shady bastard. She would have—on any other day. But she had other plans. These.
She reached the door and raised her arm to knock. Her hand felt like it weighed a million pounds. Tap, tap, tap, tap. In the silence that followed, she held her breath, praying no one would walk by.
The door opened a second later, and her entire body sagged with relief.
“Nathan. Can I come in?” Her voice was high. Abnormal.
He nodded, opening the door wider. “Come on.”
God, it was weird to see him here. He was wearing olive green pants made of coarse material; they looked like hiking pants, if that could be believed. And over that, a black fleece Northface jacket. Nathan in Northface. What had the world come to?
Then he held out his hand for hers, and that was even crazier. His fingers closed loosely over hers, and oh, my, it was a good feeling. Too good.
Meredith yanked his wrist as he led her toward the couch. She needed to put him off-balance, to show both of them he wasn’t a Shepherd anymore. At least not hers.
Her gaze skimmed his classically handsome profile, his all-American-boy brown eyes and soft brown hair. She approved. She totally, totally approved. He was looking at her, too, and his thoughts were obvious.
Abruptly, as they reached the couch, she dropped his hand and unzipped her ski coat, tossing it over a wing-backed chair. Underneath she wore only a tight, lime green t-shirt that said Holla. She didn’t know what it meant, had lived at the compound for too long to know what was cool anymore, but she liked its attitude.
Nathan was checking her out as he sat down beside her. She could feel it.
She scowled and sat back, like she was cozier than cozy and totally at ease. “Nathan, this is killing me. Do you know how hard it is to keep this secret?”
Not surprisingly, he looked serious.
“I understand what it must be like for you, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry that I asked you to.”
“What’s t
he plan? I haven’t heard anything from you. I thought you were going to keep in touch.”
“Meredith, I only called to let you know I’m here last night.” His jaw worked slightly, not a quiet display of fury or unhappiness like when Cayne did it, but just a subtle thing. His brown eyes met hers. “How is she?”
Meredith shrugged, sorting through her memory for what she’d told him and what she’d kept back. “She hasn’t been feeling well. Do you know why that would be?” She was testing him. She knew Nathan; she knew all his tells: the way his mouth pulled slightly to the right, the way his eyes got vague and distant. She didn’t need her ability to see if he was telling the truth.
He just looked at her. “Maybe a virus? After being in the protection of the compound…” He shrugged, and Meredith felt a little sorry for him.
“Nathan, I don’t think it’s that. If she’s really The One, the way you say… I think it’s something The Three did.”
If he knew about the leash, his face would show it. She waited, noticing the stubble on his cheeks and chin, thinking how he’d have probably charmed a lot of girls looking for a ‘good’ guy had he gone to high school. If he didn’t turn them off by being on debate team..
“I don’t think so,” he said decisively. “Like I said, they want her back. That’s why they sent me here. Have you talked to her?”
Meredith shook her head. “Like I told you… I really don’t think she will. And I don’t think she should. Nathan, no one but you has even met The Three. Why would Julia trust them? Why should she? I know I don’t. And…listen: There’s something I haven’t told you.”
Nathan listened intently as she explained about the leash, deciding at the last minute not to reveal who had told them about it; she just said ‘someone we’ve met.’
As soon as she was over, he was on feet, shaking his head. “There’s no way. They wouldn’t harm her.”
