by Taryn Quinn
“Yes, I’m fine. Look, my bestie just had a baby! I’m his godmother. Isn’t he the most adorable kid ever? I hope mine is—” I broke off and aimed a guilty look at my belly. That info needed to stay under wraps just a little longer. “He’s so cute.”
“He sure is.” The nurse smiled. “Look at those ruddy cheeks.”
“Can you please direct me to where they’d be?”
A few minutes later, I approached Ally’s cracked door, pausing outside as Mr. Hamilton’s booming voice echoed out of the room. He was laughing, reminding me again of what Ally had said about him getting laid. Disturbing to consider, since he was older than my father, but the evidence was there. He was happier now than in the past. Perhaps because his son was happily married and he had a new grandchild…
I shut my eyes. God, what would he think about my baby? Would he think I’d done this intentionally to try to get a Hamilton payday? There had been whispers about that very thing with Seth’s first wife. Not with Ally, of course, since she’d put up with him for a decade before marriage and a long game only went so far.
Would Oliver think I was after his money? He hadn’t pushed me to take the morning-after pill, but that was when the child was just a tiny possibility. Now that it was on the way for real, would he wonder?
I couldn’t think about any of that right now. I was here to support Ally and Seth and see my little cutie-pie godson. The rest would wait.
Knocking on the door, I stuck my head in and smiled. “Hey there. Can I come in?”
“Of course. You’re here.” Ally flashed a tired smile and waved me inside. She was propped up by a bunch of pillows with Seth and Mr. Hamilton on either side of the bed.
Oh shit, I hadn’t even thought of Oliver’s father being at the office the other day during my outburst to end all outbursts.
Please, please, please let him not have overheard.
If he had, the baby wouldn’t be as much of a shock to him. Bright side! I was looking at all of them.
Digging them out with a dang shovel if I had to.
“I am here. Just a little too late, I see. Made it through okay? You must have, since your son came so fast. Super-fast, especially for a first-time mama. Where is he? He’s so adorable. Seth sent me a picture and I can already see modeling in his future. Or better yet, maybe he’ll be an actor. You know, someone debonair like George Clooney.”
Yay, let the nervous babbling begin.
I was already in fine form.
“He was having a few breathing issues, so they took him off to make sure he’s okay. Nothing to worry about.” Ally twisted her wedding ring around and around her finger. “All routine stuff, they said.”
“It is.” Seth covered her hands with his much larger ones. “The same thing happened to Laurie when she was born.”
“And you, for that matter,” Mr. Hamilton added. “Not Oliver though. We used to joke he took all your oxygen because he came out screaming.”
We all laughed, and Ally and I exchanged a glance. The kind that said we had volumes to say to each other, once the prying ears of the men were gone.
That happened faster than I expected.
Once Mr. Hamilton and Seth had gone off to get some coffee, I pulled up a stool next to the bed. “So, were you in labor long? When did the contractions start? Did it really hurt? Oh my God, what am I asking, you were screaming for drugs in the car.”
Ally laughed softly and shook her head. “We’ll get to all that, but first, what’s going on with you?”
“Me?” I tucked my hair behind my ears. “Same old, same old.”
“Yeah, right. I know you. Something’s up. Something big.” She leaned forward and winced. “Ugh, none of those moves quite yet. I’m stitched up like the Velveteen Rabbit.” She mimed from top to bottom and it was my turn to grimace.
“I think I like the idea of a C-section better. My vagina was not made to push out a watermelon.”
She smirked. “Actually, it was.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do, and after that, I’m not sure I’d go vaginal again. It went really fast, all things considered with the horror stories I’ve heard.”
“Tell me everything.”
And oh, she did. About begging for an epidural that would not work fast enough and mucus plugs and water breaking all over their new leather couch. By the end of it, I was a little nauseous and I couldn’t decide if my morning sickness had decided to add in an evening session or if it was just stark-raving terror at what awaited me.
“You look green. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I smiled and took a deep breath. “Oh, and I’m pregnant.”
I hadn’t meant to say it. Not here, and not to Ally before I told Oliver. That was the fairest thing to do. He should know first. But with all the baby talk and the fact that my news was still so fresh, it just spilled out.
Ally let out a laugh and clutched her chest through her thin hospital gown. “Good one. For a second there, I thought you were serious.”
“I am.” I gazed down at the bedding I hadn’t realized I’d been pulling at with my fingers. “I just found out tonight.”
“Oh, Sage. Sage.” Her sympathetic whisper made me stare harder at the white blanket in my fist so that I wouldn’t immediately start bawling again. “Does he—he doesn’t know yet?”
“Not yet. But it won’t come as a huge surprise. At least it shouldn’t. The condom broke. Very first time.”
“Oh God. What rotten luck.” She snaked her hand out to still mine. “I’m so sorry, honey.”
I sniffled and laughed. “Nothing to be sorry about. You know I’ve always wanted kids. I guess it was probably good I kept the ol’ hymen on lockdown, because fertile Myrtle.” And yep, there were more tears gathering right on cue. I’d have to drink a gallon of water in fluid replenishment if they kept coming at this rate.
“Sometimes it’s just a matter of timing. Though, oh man. Seriously? No way.” Ally covered her mouth with her hand. “He did a Seth, with the whole knocking-up-a-virgin-first-time deal. He’s going to absolutely die.”
“Twin thing,” we said simultaneously, and this time, there were no tears when I laughed.
It was so ridiculous, but it was my life. And I already loved my kid, already desperately wanted him or her, so there wasn’t room for looking back or what ifs.
The only what if that remained was Oliver’s reaction.
The biggest what if of all.
“When are you going to tell him?”
I huffed out a breath and fought the urge to flee from the question. The room. My life entirely.
That wasn’t who I was anymore. I wouldn’t allow myself to hide.
“Tonight, as soon as I leave here. I haven’t spoken to him since…” I bowed my head. “I’m so sorry. I acted like a royal ass. I’m amazed you even called me tonight. But I threw up that morning and I was all churned up, thinking what if, and then I saw the sign about condos being built at the bed-and-breakfast site, and I was just all messed up.”
“Is that why you tried to pick a fight with Oliver with all the decorations?”
“Yeah. I guess. Though I do like fighting with him in general. And the making-up part is really fun.” I flushed at her raised brows. “Hey, you were overdue for this kind of talk. Best friend, remember?”
“I never forgot. You bet I’m overdue. I have many questions, probably some of them entirely too personal in nature. But since my own personal nature has been way too public tonight,” we both laughed, “we’ll just save those for another day. I do have one question that can’t wait.”
“He told me he was bigger than Seth, but I think he was lying. You know how he boasts.”
Ally shook her head, laughing silently while her cheeks went pink. “Don’t let Seth hear that.”
“Not thinking it’s a subject I’ll probably ever broach with him, so we’re good.” It was so nice to giggle with a girlfriend in the midst of the insanity my life had become.
Nothing could be that bad or that scary as long as I had my bestie.
“You and Oliver, I know how you started. I know I played a part in that, and if that was a mistake—”
“It wasn’t,” I assured her quickly. “It was right. Every bit of it was. I know we aren’t going there tonight, but he was exactly who I needed.”
Perhaps he had been all along.
She nodded, her eyes suspiciously bright. “He’s a decent man under the bluster. You just can’t give up on him. He’s going to push you away. It’s a given.”
“Actually, I’ve been the one doing most of the pushing.” I rubbed my forehead tiredly. Now that I knew without a doubt I was pregnant, I was exhausted. It wasn’t as if I didn’t have twenty other worries, but they would be faced in due time.
Right now, Oliver was the most pressing, and beyond that, my focus was on my need for sleep and a hopefully junk-food-laden dinner.
“I feel so guilty. Everything you said about me and Seth was true. We stuck our noses in and said things that weren’t right, and it wasn’t even our business. I’m going to blame my interference on preggo hormones and a whole lot of worry.”
“If you’ll allow me to blame my O meltdown in Oliver’s office on hormones, then we have a deal.”
“Deal. Do you know what I saw when I came into his office?”
“What?” I asked warily.
“Well, the lust thing was a given, and just about gave me a heart attack. But there was more. The way he was looking down at you, on the verge of a smile…there was more there, Sage, I swear it.”
My throat seemed too tight to swallow, so I rubbed my neck to try to get everything working again. “We were laughing, insulting each other again. Like usual.”
“Yes, and his expression was definitely amused, but there was something else in his eyes. And before you argue with me, remember I have some knowledge of the Hamilton boys myself. Even if it’s the less-endowed one. Which…ha. He wishes. Anyway.”
“Let’s just say less or more, I’m sure they’re both plenty.” Now I was flushing again. See, this was the problem with being a recent virgin. I could throw around dirty stuff, but I always reached my limit fairly quickly. Just not experienced in the filthy talking arts.
Not like Oliver. Dear God. And if I thought overmuch about that, I would need to wring out my panties right here in the hospital.
“You need to tell him right away.”
“I’m going to. I promise.”
Ally nodded, placated. “I mean, it isn’t my business, but—”
“Knowledge of the Hamilton men?”
“Something like that.”
“And yes, it is your business. Everything with me is. I need my bestie back for every sordid detail. I need someone to tell me what to expect, to maybe hold my hand during birthing classes if he’s not—if he doesn’t—”
She gripped my hand fiercely, cutting me off mid-stream. A good thing, since blubbering was sure to follow. “I’ll be there every step of the way. I swear.”
“Okay.” I exhaled, long and slow, and squeezed her fingers. “Okay. I can do this.”
“You absolutely can. You’re happy, aren’t you? For real? Not just to ease my mind.”
“No. I’m genuinely happy. Scared out of my mind, but happier than I’ve ever been. I want my baby.”
“Not just yours,” she reminded me, as if I could ever forget.
“I know.” I forced a smile onto my face. “My parents will be here tomorrow. My mom told me to tell you to keep the baby in until she got here.”
Ally chuckled. “Aww, that’s great. I can’t wait to see them.” Then her forehead wrinkled. “What are they going to say?”
I shrugged. “Truthfully? My mom will probably tell me I have very good taste.”
“Well, you do. As do I.”
We shared a conspiratorial grin and then I leaned forward to give her a gentle hug. “I’m going to swing by the house, see if he needs help with Laurie.”
“Oh, he should be free now. Mr. Hamilton—James,” she corrected herself, “was stopping by to relieve him after he and Seth had a cup of coffee. So, if you want some privacy away from my house,” her pointed glance made me duck my head, “he should be available.”
“We do keep our clothes on sometimes, I’ll have you know. Besides, he’s mad at me. Pretty sure screwing won’t be the first thing on his mind.”
“That’s a bet you don’t want to make. He’s male. It’s first, second, third, and fifth.”
“What’s fourth?”
“Eating between rounds.”
I had to laugh as I hugged her once more and promised to return to see the baby first thing in the morning when they got sprung.
As soon as I stepped out of the room, I pulled out my phone.
The hour of reckoning had arrived.
14
Oliver
I’d just started a movie for Laurie—that freaking Trolls, which she loved—when Sage’s ringtone drew me away from some paperwork. Normally, I’d be putting Laurie to bed around now. But tonight was a big night. Her little brother had just been born, and she was all wound up. I hadn’t even bothered trying to corral her, hoping she’d wear herself out with singing and dancing trolls and mindless babbling about how one day she was going to marry Justin Timberlake.
Kids today had no taste.
And adults today would stall by thinking disparaging thoughts about pop stars to avoid looking at their phone.
I finally gave in and read Sage’s text, the words reverberating in my head as if she was at my side and saying them.
Hi. If you don’t hate me, can we talk? It’s important.
I didn’t even have to think about my answer.
I don’t hate you. When?
My first guess was that she’d suggest tomorrow. Maybe after work. Important or not, it was late enough in the evening that if we spoke now, there was little chance of us not ending up in bed.
Even if she told me she was using me, it was probably going to happen. I wasn’t proud of it, but I was honest. At least about that. I wanted her, and even going two days without having her felt like an unbearably long time.
Her answer came swiftly.
Tonight. Now. If you can. I know you’re with Laurie, but your dad is coming to relieve you. I think. Or if he doesn’t, we can hang there. I can help.
Joint babysitting my niece wasn’t what I had in mind. I wasn’t insistent on sex happening, since Sage was apt to need to say any-damn-thing. But if we spent the night watching Laurie, it was most likely guaranteed not to.
After having to see Trolls again, I deserved for it to at least be an option on the table.
I tapped out a response.
My dad is probably on his way, as you said. I’ll meet you in an hour? If something comes up, I’ll text.
Meet me where?
I debated for a moment before replying.
The cabin. It’s still set up for V-day.
Yes, that was me, taking jabs where I could. Another thing I wasn’t proud of, but when a guy gets labeled as a convenient penis, well, shit happens.
She didn’t take long to answer.
Ok. I’ll be @ the cabin in 1 hr. Text if James doesn’t show.
I blinked. Hmm. Guess she really was chummy with my father. I wasn’t entirely sure he even allowed Ally to call him James. If he did, it was a recent development.
“Unca Ollie, can I see my brother again?” Laurie came over to me and pressed her little hands on my knees, giving me her most imploring expression.
“Sure thing.” I flicked away Sage’s text and pulled up the one Seth had sent with the baby’s picture.
My new nephew was so small. So easy to break. I’d held Laurie shortly after her birth and I’d been struck by the same thing then. I wondered if Seth ever got freaked out. He didn’t seem to, but then again, I hoped I wasn’t obvious about my thoughts on the subject either.
When Laurie was born, I’d been all t
oo eager to hand her back to her parents. She was cute and all, and I’d loved her before she was born, but I hadn’t had any interest in children. Not even peripherally.
Over the past five years, things had changed. I’d changed. Not necessarily to the point where I was eager to procreate, but the idea wasn’t as abhorrent as it once was. I’d also developed some affinity for children. My niece in particular, but I had to hope she wasn’t an isolated case. My new nephew would be a secondary test. If that affinity extended to him as well, perhaps one day I might even consider having my own.
One. Possibly two.
Probably one was enough.
But then two meant they’d have a sibling, and no one liked being an only child. That had been Seth’s original reasoning for his proposal for Ally, though how he’d gone from hey, need a sibling, to hey, need an entire football team, I did not know.
“Unca Ollie, picture!” Laurie craned her neck to see my phone, and I realized I’d been lost in a world of my own making.
One where I was thinking about having children, God help me.
This was all Seth’s fault. Damn him. If he’d set off some internal twin alarm clock with his incessant reproducing, I was going to kick his ass.
“Here you go. Sorry.” I turned the phone toward her and she grabbed it, pulling the screen close to her face so she could examine every detail.
“He no look like me,” she said sadly.
“You mean his hair color?”
She nodded.
“Well, it’s early days yet. Your dad and I were born with blond hair that got darker. Sometimes it changes.”
“He’s not a girl.”
My lips twitched. Laurie had been defiant about wanting a sister until Ally had told her she was having a boy, and we all thought she’d come to terms with the idea of him being male. Clearly, deep down, she had not.
“No, he’s a little boy. But boys are fun too.”
She looked at me, her lower lip stuck out. Waiting for evidence.
