“Graham Vandershot, Miss. Ezra sent me to look after October for the day.”
“Vandershot, eh? Von’s brother? You sure are a handholding kind of family. Bait practically runs away when we try to hug her, but she’s got Von’s family on a leash. First Von, then Boston, and now you.” She let out a throaty laugh that had the edge of bitterness slicing through it. I’d made the capitol offense – gotten close to the new guy without letting Katrina take him for a spin first. The urge to lash out irrationally and punch her flooded me. I’d never felt so unbalanced, so ready to pounce at the slightest provocation. It was a thing of fortune that Graham held tight to my hand.
Graham’s polite smile stayed in place. “I’ll not argue with that. Boston and I love our little sister. She takes care of us every bit as much as we look after her.”
Katrina’s simpering smile told me she’d never cared about me, not that I was surprised at that. She’d been nice to me in the past because I was a kid to her – no competition at all. Now that her conquests and future toys looked my way? I was a threat that apparently needed to be neutralized. She was the Queen Bee of the group, and everyone knew to scatter when she pounced. “That’s nice. Von’s not with you?” She looked around to verify that the guy she’d slept with a few times wasn’t there. “I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s a lot to deal with. Getting engaged because of the baby, and then when there’s no baby, he takes off on you.”
Gabby and Rachel gasped, looking to my face for confirmation of the horror that I’d been jilted. Jordan threw his hands up in the air. “Jeez, Katrina. Retract the claws. Bait’s just a kid. You don’t need to pick on her like this just because Von passed you over for her. Your boobs are still amazing, your legs are still smoking, and you know, pretend I said all the other things you need to hear to know you’re still the center of the universe.”
I didn’t feel the need to defend myself or Von to her, but Graham sure as Sunday did. I shifted closer to Jordan when Graham slid down from the arm of the couch to squeeze in next to me. “Von and October are to be married, just as they were before. He didn’t ask her to marry him because she got pregnant. They’re very much in love.” Graham held my hand up to display my audacious ring as proof. The square-shaped diamond sparkled, announcing to the world that I was one-hundred percent off the market.
Katrina’s eyes bulged, and she actually stumbled back a few steps. She fell off her game momentarily, but pounced again with vengeance. “Nice how they can make cubic zirconia as big as they like without the guy having to put out hardly any extra cash.”
Graham’s nose crinkled. “It’s a real diamond, of course. My brother wouldn’t skimp on something as important as her engagement ring.” His arm draped around my shoulder, pulling me tight to him as if to shield me from the verbal attack. In that moment, I didn’t resist the shelter Graham provided. My head rested against his collarbone, and he held my hand to his chest to keep my ring clearly displayed. “Is this girl actually your friend, darling?” Graham glared protectively out at the woman who verbally attacked me, and the other two women who let it happen. I finally saw clearly why Ollie had never taken that next step with Gabby. Ollie would fight to the death for something he loved. Ollie was a fighter. Gabby was a follower.
I didn’t answer. The whole showdown had taken place without me having to say much of anything. Just like the Manas, existing had been enough to warrant an attack, and I was tired of the fight. I remember battling against a zombie army once upon a time. Now I could barely hold my chin up through a catty slice at my morale. I tried to remind myself that I was grieving, and that I’d get my moxie back when I was ready.
Katrina forced out another throaty laugh. “Oh, we’re just playing. Bait knows I’m only kidding.” She paused, taking in our body language that had me tucked in Graham’s arms like a shell-shocked kitten. “Looks like someone should tell Von he’s got some competition from the home court.”
Ollie barked from behind me, making everyone in the house jump. “Katrina! Knock it off. If you want to have sex with Graham, you don’t need to run my sister down to do it.”
Graham’s mouth fell open that he was the source of Katrina’s steady needling. “I... Um... I’m sure I don’t...” He clung to my hand now to steady himself, and I was grateful he didn’t desert me when his pure intentions were brought into question. “Perhaps we should go out for lunch and come back later.” Graham stood, gently tugging me up next to him. He turned to Ollie and jerked his thumb over his shoulder toward Katrina. “When we come back, I trust you’ll have escorted this one out?”
“Are you serious? I just got done doing her laundry! Newsflash: if you want to keep Von around, I’d invest in some lacier underwear. I mean, when Von was with me, my panties barely stayed on. But still, for show and all. Might want to upgrade.”
“You’ll not have a laugh at my sister’s expense!” Graham roared, clutching me tight to his chest in the middle of the living room, like I was something precious. I felt used and worn down, like a tool meant to be abused until it lost its will to serve its purpose. But somehow Graham didn’t see me like that. In his arms, I was a prize, haggard and beaten by life as I was.
Katrina was astonished, and I understood why. I was the quiet one in the group who didn’t make a fuss about much. Now fuss was being made for me, and I wasn’t the joke anymore. I was an actual woman. Not a kid. Not Bait. A legit woman who could be friends with a man without jumping in the sack with him.
Graham turned back to Katrina with his chin in the air and his arm around me. “October’s the lady of this house. You’ll not set foot in this place again after going to such lengths to insult my sister. She just lost her child. All you lost was a casual fling. You’ll not trouble my sister again with your foolishness.”
Katrina scoffed, looking around at Gabby and Rachel, who had taken a step back from the lightning bolt-sized wrath she was incurring. “Are you seriously trying to tell me what to do? These are my people, you foreigner. This is how we do things. If Bait wants to play with the big girls, this is how low we swing.”
Graham kissed my fingers when I tried to offer up a weak protest. “It’s really fine, Graham. It’s just how it is.”
He leveled his gaze at me and said his words like a promise, loud enough for everyone to hear. “You are not a joke, and I’ll not stand for you being insulted in your own home. You’re a queen.” My heart lifted at his grand words that only had sincerity and kindness to them. Then he turned Katrina around, and marched her out the front door. He didn’t pause when she scrambled for retorts that were mingled with desperate apologies. For all his gentlemanly ways, Graham shoved Katrina through the front door and locked her out, ignoring her fists that pounded for us to let her back in. “Does anyone else want to make jokes about my sister who just lost her daughter? Or are you all here to be good friends and help the girl you care for?”
Ollie clapped in appreciation, and Darius pointed his finger at Graham. “I like you, man. You ever need a job, you come see me.”
“No,” I warned Darius. Graham wouldn’t go near Judge’s empire.
Graham kept his hands pressed together while he spoke. “While I’m clearing the air, I don’t much care for the nickname Bait. My sister’s not here for your amusement, nor is she a lure for mindless men. She’s a prize, so if you can get onboard with being respectful and kind, you can stay. Ollie would love to have help from people who actually respect all our sister’s been through.”
My lower lip trembled, and I knew I was seconds away from another waterfall. A solitary tear dripped down my cheek, burning a trail of humiliation for all to see. “I really do appreciate you guys helping fix up the house. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Are you kidding me?” Gabby said, her smile trying to break the tension. “After all the times we trashed it? It’s the least we could do.”
I didn’t argue with her there.
“Let’s let them surprise us with how good they can be to you.
How about I take you out for lunch?” Graham coiled his arm around my back as he escorted me out past a red-faced Katrina, who called me all the dirty names she’d been holding back. Each insult stuck to me like an arrow, sinking into my skin and leaving a mark.
Twenty-One.
Socks and Lotion
Graham shut me in the passenger’s seat and went around to the driver’s side, choking the steering wheel before putting the car into gear. “I can drive, Graham. You’re upset.”
“Of course I’m upset! Those are your friends? Truly?”
“That’s the crew. They’re actually Ollie’s friends. I come with the package.”
He eyed Katrina’s red face, her fist in the air, her sneer in full swing, and he revved the engine. “I could give her just a little tap. It wouldn’t hurt her much.”
“Now, now. Let’s save vehicular manslaughter for Monday. That’s a much better weekday activity.”
“You’re no fun.”
“So I’ve been told.”
Graham backed the car out with care. “Fancy lunch?”
“Not really. But thanks for getting me out of there. I thought I was ready to face the damage, but I just plain wasn’t. Mind if we go to the hospital instead? I want to check in on Allie. See if I can’t figure out how to wake her up.”
“Of course.”
I kept my voice quiet. “Thanks for that back there, by the way. Sticking up for me like that. Katrina doesn’t normally dig her claws into me. It’s the whole Von thing. I usually let the little stuff go, but lately everything feels like too much. Too big, too hard, too unnerving. I think I froze. Maybe I’m turning into a wuss or something.”
Graham reached over and held my hand. “I meant every word, you know. You and Mariang are my sisters. I’ll not stand back and watch someone walk all over you.”
“You’re a good guy, Graham. Thanks for being my brother.”
We drove a few minutes in silence before Graham squeezed my hand. “We’re going to see your sister, but I’m afraid I know nothing about her. Fancy telling me a little so I’m not so lost?”
“Sure. Allie’s great. She can make a game out of anything. She sews. Did you know that?”
“I know shockingly little about your family. Just the briefing Ezra gave us on Bev’s passing.”
I felt him give me an extra pull at the mention of Bev. Graham and I had a good rhythm. “We were poor. Nothing like the life Mariang and Ezra have. When I needed clothes, Allie would go to the secondhand store and buy stained oversized men’s shirts for pennies. Then she’d somehow transform them into little dresses for me to wear. When we moved out, she learned how to knit. That year we had so many hats and scarves and mittens, we didn’t know what to do with them all. Ollie was sweet. He insisted on wearing all his hats to make Allie feel better when she was having a rough day. He went to work one day with seven knit caps on, five pairs of mittens and eight scarves. Then he came home and complained that he needed her to make him a few more.” I smiled at the memory.
Graham chuckled. “That’s sweet. Is she funny, like you?”
I blinked at Graham. Cracking jokes felt like a me I didn’t recognize anymore. “She’s funny, sure. She’s kind and selfless. Not many teenage girls would give up their Friday nights to work so we could get ahead. We bought that house, the three of us. We own it outright. When she left for California and Ollie for New York, I promised them I’d take care of our home. It was our safe place.” My chin quivered again, but this time I didn’t feel ashamed as the tears started to cloud my vision. I knew Graham wouldn’t take my pride; he’d given me back my dignity. “I let our safe place get broken. My daughter died in my safe place!” Out of nowhere, a horrible unintelligible sob birthed from my mouth, announcing my agony to the car. I covered my mouth quickly, as if I could shove the sound back down my throat. “I’m sorry.” I straightened, blinking away the madness that clawed at my insides. “I told myself I’d be normal today. Spontaneous crying? Not normal. Can you pick a new topic?”
“That’s a beautiful ring,” Graham offered after a few beats of respectful silence while he waited for me to collect myself. “The only reason Katrina said it was fake was because no man will ever give her a ring like that.”
I glanced down at my hand, grateful that after everything, Von hadn’t wanted it back. All along he’d wanted me. Just me.
As if on cue, Graham’s phone rang. “Yeah?”
I heard Von shout, “Where is she? Is she with you?”
“Whoa! Hold on, mate. October’s fine. She’s right here.” Graham put the phone on speaker so I could talk.
“Hey, hun. How are you feeling?” I asked, trying to keep my voice conversational.
“How am I feeling? Bloody wonderful! I look up, and you’re gone! Where are you?”
I made sure to keep calm, so as not to coax Von to fly further off the handle. “I’m on my way to the hospital to see Allie. I told you all this, and I even left you a note on the nightstand. Do you see it?”
I heard rustling and a loud exhale. “Oh. I guess Ezra wasn’t lying, then.”
“Why would Ezra lie to you? Ezra loves you.”
“Come home. I don’t like it here without you.”
My heart broke for him, but I knew this was the right thing to do. I needed to stand on my own, and Von did, too. Only then could we stand together when life inevitably tipped us on our heads again and again. “I told you I’d be home for dinner, so that’s when you’ll see me. Maybe you should go for a walk. Take Alton and move around a little. Get something to eat.”
“I can’t stop picturing your body in a ditch somewhere. I can’t lose you, Peach. I need you to be safe. Come home.”
“Of course I’ll come home. And I’m with Graham, who’s an excellent driver. Do you want me to pick you up anything while I’m out?”
“No. Just come back here in one piece. That’s all I want. I’ll go back to bed. Wake me when you get back.”
I fished for something that would get him out of the bedroom, casting around for any distraction at all from his grief. “Could you do me a favor?” I asked, forcing a smile into my voice that did not appear on my face.
“Anything. What do you need, love?”
“Socks.”
“You need me to bring you socks?”
I waved off Graham’s inquiring eyebrow. “No, but would you mind making a run to the store for me? I have the regular kind, but my feet keep getting cold at night. Could you pick me up a pair of those really thick fuzzy ones that Mariang wears to sleep? Those look warm.”
“Um, sure. You want me to go to the store?”
I nodded. “And pick up warm socks for me to wear at night.”
“Okay. I’ll put it on the list and have Lynna pick some up when she goes to the grocer’s on Wednesday.”
I feigned a dramatic sigh. “I was kind of hoping you’d pick them out for me. Something you think is cute. And something for tonight. I don’t want cold feet for another half a week.” I knew I was pushing the border of being high maintenance, but I couldn’t stand the thought of Von lying in bed all day, or staring out the window vacantly again for hours on end. “If you don’t mind.”
Von paused. “I don’t think you understand men if you think we fancy which kind of fuzzy socks our wife wears. If you’re asking me, I prefer you in nothing at all.”
I tried to ignore Graham’s dramatic barfing. I closed my eyes, pushing harder, knowing this was all for Von’s own good. “Please? If it’s not too much trouble, I’d really appreciate it.”
Von waited a few beats, and I could picture him nodding. “Okay. Sure.” His tone changed, and I could tell he was exasperated with himself. “Hey, of course I’ll pick you up some socks. No problem. Good for you for finally asking for something. Anything else?”
I fished around for anything I might possibly need, grateful for the glimmer of Von I heard crackling over the phone as Graham drove along the tree-lined freeway. “Maybe some hand lotion? My skin
sucks lately.”
Von sounded wary. “Okay. Be specific. What kind exactly?”
I softened and explained the brand I preferred. We hung up after a heaping helping of “you’re the greatest guy in the world for helping me out,” and “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Graham grinned at me. “I see what you did there. You tricked Von into getting out of bed. Well done.” He high-fived me. “Before you know it, he’ll be back to his old self.”
“You really think it’s as simple as lotion and fuzzy socks?”
Graham squeezed my hand as he drove us closer to the hospital. “I think it’s as simple as you.”
Twenty-Two.
The Skankiest of Skanks
I shut the door behind us, hoping we wouldn’t be disturbed by the errant nurse checking on my sister. Allie looked the exact same as when I’d last seen her: the bland expression of slumber, her pale hands at her sides. She was begging to be kissed by the sun, which was always out of her reach, no matter how wide we yanked open the curtains.
Graham came in behind me to look at Allie, his breath catching as his eyes pored over her face. I led him closer so our thighs were pressed against her bedrail. He had the strangest look on his face. I observed him watch my Allie with something that could only be described as rapture. “I... This is her? Of course it’s her. She looks just like you, but not. You’ve got that way about you, and she’s...” I didn’t know how he was planning on finishing that sentence, but the tender expression on his face told me he saw what was obvious – that Allie was a beautiful woman, even lifeless as she was. No makeup, no fancy clothing, and my Allie was still a showstopper.
Standing by Allie’s bedside tied a knot in my chest as I tried to find the right words to say. As it was, I’d barely said hello before my mouth sealed itself shut.
Graham sat in the chair near the window and pulled out his earbuds. “Feel free to talk away. I’ll be properly distracted. I would offer to leave you alone, but I promised Ezra you wouldn’t be out of my sight. He said nothing about earshot, though.”
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