And the gladness stayed with her throughout the church service. From time to time, she found her gaze straying to the men’s side of the church. With his Bible—one of the few things he’d brought from Venne—open on his lap, Diedrich sat beside his father, his rapt attention directed toward the front of the church and Pastor Sauer. His straight brown hair lay at an angle across his broad forehead and his clean-shaven jaw in profile looked strong, as if chiseled from stone. Regina wondered why she had never noticed how very handsome he was.
An odd ache burrowed deep into her chest. Perhaps it would not have been the worst thing in the world if Papa and Herr Rothhaus had gotten their way and she had ended up with Diedrich for a husband.
“‘And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.’” Pastor Sauer’s compelling voice drew Regina’s attention back up to him. He paused and stroked the considerable length of his salt-and-pepper beard as if allowing time for the scripture to soak into his congregants’ brains. The subject of his sermon had been directed particularly toward married couples. But the words of the scripture drew in Regina’s mind a stark contrast between how Diedrich and Eli treated her.
She glanced over at Diedrich again, and the ache in her chest deepened. It didn’t matter how sweet, caring, or handsome Diedrich was. Eli was handsome, too. And he wanted to marry her. Diedrich wanted to hunt for gold in California.
Diedrich pumped the pastor’s hand. “It was a fine sermon, Pastor Sauer.”
Pastor Sauer gave a little chuckle and clapped him on the shoulder. “Danke, Sohn.” Then, leaning in, he added, “And one you should remember, maybe, hey?” With a twinkle in his eye, he shot a glance across the churchyard to where Regina stood talking and giggling with two other young women. “Herr Seitz tells me you and Fräulein Seitz have decided to wait until after the harvest to wed.” He nodded his head in approval. “That is gut. Learn your bride’s heart before you wed. It will make for a more harmonious home.”
Diedrich quirked a weak smile that his mouth refused to support for more than a second. He felt like a liar and a fraud. But he couldn’t share his true plans with Pastor Sauer any more than he could share them with Father or Herr and Frau Seitz.
Giving the pastor’s hand a final shake, he headed for the patch of shade where the Seitz wagon stood. “Learn your bride’s heart.” The pastor’s words echoed in his ears.
It almost made him wish Regina was his bride-to-be, as everyone thought. For every day, he learned something new and wonderful about her. This morning he had learned she had a sweet heart, full of forgiveness. And if not for the beckoning goldfields of California, a life here with Regina on this fertile land would be more than enticing.
It had troubled him that yesterday she seemed to make a concerted effort to keep her distance from him, finding reasons to stay near her mother. He had surmised she was still angry with him over his comment about Eli, and didn’t blame her. Of course she would have viewed his words as meddling in her personal business, and rightly so. But what had troubled him more was the look on her face this morning when she came downstairs. For one awful moment, he had seen something akin to fear flicker in her eyes. Had she stayed away from him because she thought that, like Eli, he might respond to her earlier righteous indignation with anger? The thought both sickened and angered him. He hardened his resolve to do everything in his power over the summer to open her eyes to the dangers the Tanner boy presented.
At the wagon, he turned and looked back in her direction, and his heart quickened. A wide smile graced her lovely face as she carried on an animated conversation with her friends. The morning sun turned the braids that circled her head to ropes of gold, while her calico bonnet dangled negligently from her wrist, brushing her sky blue skirt with her every gesture. She laughed, a bright, musical sound that always reminded him of a brook tripping over stones.
“Diedrich. I was looking for you.” Herr Seitz put his hand on Diedrich’s shoulder, jerking him from his musings. “I hope you are not so much in a hurry for dinner.” He glanced over his shoulder at Father, who was sauntering toward them with Frau Seitz on one arm and Regina on the other. “Your Vater and I have agreed it is a nice morning for a drive.”
As was their usual custom on Sundays, they had forgone breakfast this morning, opting instead for a larger meal after church. And though Diedrich’s stomach gnawed with emptiness, his curiosity was piqued. “Ja, it is a gut day for a drive. I can wait to eat.” Since their arrival nearly a month ago, Diedrich had rarely left the Seitz farm. And though his stomach might protest, he was eager to see more of the countryside.
Herr Seitz turned to his wife. “Come, Mutti. We are going to take a drive.” He helped Frau Seitz to the front seat of the wagon, while Diedrich helped Regina up to the seat behind it. Diedrich and his father would sit in the last of the three seats in the spring wagon.
Frau Seitz huffed. “I know it is a nice day, but could we not take our drive after dinner? Regina and I have Kaninchen to fry and Brötchen to bake.”
“The rabbit and the rolls will wait.” Herr Seitz shook his head as he settled beside his wife and unwound the reins from the brake handle. “This drive is wichtig.”
Regina gave a little laugh as she adjusted her skirts. “You are acting very peculiar, Papa. I do not see what could be important about a Sunday drive around Sauers. But if we must go, could we take the road past Tanners’ mill? It has fewer ruts than some of the other roads.” Though her voice sounded nonchalant, Diedrich detected a note of stiffness about it. From his experience, her opinion of the road’s surface was correct. But he doubted it was the true reason she wanted to go in that direction. Instead, he suspected she hoped to glimpse her sweetheart as they passed the mill. At that thought, he experienced a painful prick near his heart.
Herr Seitz shook his head. “We will not be going past the mill, Tochter. What I want to show you is at the west boundary of our land.”
Her hopeful expression dissolved into a glum look that saddened Diedrich. Why could she not see that Tanner did not truly care for her—that no man who loved her would treat her so roughly.
When Diedrich had settled beside his father in the seat behind Regina, Herr Seitz looked over his shoulder as if to assure himself everyone was settled. Focusing his gaze on Diedrich, he grinned. “Diedrich, you should sit with Regina. I do not think your Vater will mind to have a seat to himself.” Did the man have a twinkle in his eye? Herr Seitz turned back around before Diedrich could be sure.
“Ja, Diedrich. You should sit with your intended for this ride.” Father gave Diedrich’s arm a nudge.
Rising obediently, Diedrich made his way up to the seat Regina occupied. “Of course. It would be my pleasure.” And though his words could not have been truer, he was not at all sure Regina felt the same. But to his surprise, she offered him a bright smile when he sat down beside her. And as they bounced over a rutted road that was little more than a cow path, they fell into easy conversation. Regina gleefully pointed out to him the homes of her friends, adding interesting tidbits about the families and their farms.
“Anna’s family has six milk cows,” she said, indicating a neat white clapboard house nestled among a stand of trees. “And since she is the only girl and her brothers hate to milk, she must help her Mutter milk all six cows every morning and every evening.”
As she talked, Diedrich nodded and offered an occasional comment, but mostly he simply enjoyed watching her smiling face and the light in her eyes as she spoke about the area. Clearly, she loved this place.
After passing acres of neatly tilled fields, the wagon turned down the narrow. path that marked the boundary between Herr Seitz’s cornfield, which Diedrich had recently helped to plant, and a neighboring forest. At last, Herr Seitz reined in the team of horses, bringing the wagon to a stop.
“We are here.” He turned a beaming face to Diedrich and Regina.
Perplexed, Diedrich sat mute, unsu
re what “here” meant.
Regina’s tongue loosened quicker. “Papa, why have you brought us to the back end of the cornfield and Herr Driehaus’s woods?”
Herr Seitz’s smile turned smug, as if he knew a great secret. “These are not Herr Driehaus’s woods any longer. He sold them to me last week, all twenty acres. It is on this land we will build a home for you and Diedrich and Georg.”
CHAPTER 10
Stunned to silence, Regina could only look helplessly at Papa. She turned to Diedrich, but his blanched face reflected the same shocked surprise that had struck her mute.
A sick feeling settled in her stomach. She had completely forgotten that Papa had talked of purchasing this land back when Elsie was courting Ludwig Schmersal, before she became betrothed to her husband, William.
“Well, have you nothing to say?” Papa eyed her and Diedrich with a look of expectation. The whiskers on his cheeks bristled with his wide grin.
Mama saved them both. Turning to Papa, she clasped her hand to her chest and said in a breathless whisper, “Twenty acres? Can we afford this, Ernst?”
Papa waved off her concern. “Do not worry, wife. With Georg and Diedrich helping with the farm this summer, I expect the profits from the corn and wheat crop to more than cover the cost of the land.” He shrugged. “Besides, since the land has not been improved and adjoins our farm, Herr Driehaus gave me and Georg a very good price: one dollar and seventy-five cents an acre.”
Diedrich swiveled in his seat and gaped at his father. “You knew of this, Vater?”
Herr Rothhaus nodded, and the same smile Regina had seen so many times on Diedrich’s face appeared on the older man’s—except on Herr Rothhaus’s face, graying whiskers wreathed the smile. “Of course. It is a fine surprise, is it not, Sohn?”
“Ja, a fine surprise, Vater.” Diedrich gazed at the woods as if in doing so he could make them vanish. “But you should not have agreed to such an extravagant gift.”
Herr Rothhaus shook his head. “Of course I did not agree to accept the land as a gift. I have promised Ernst that we will pay him back for the land as soon as our first crop is sold. But we cannot take advantage of the Seitzes’ hospitality forever. We need a house built and ready for us when you and Regina wed this autumn.”
What blood was left in Diedrich’s face seemed to drain away. Regina had to fight the urge to confess all to their parents. But what good would that do? The deal had been made. The money had been spent.
To his credit, Diedrich turned back and sent a heroic if somewhat taut smile in Papa’s direction. Some of the color returned to his face, and he said in a voice that belied the tumult Regina knew must be raging within him, “Danke, Herr Seitz. This will be a gut spot for a home. And as my Vater said, you will be paid back in full. I promise.”
Was he thinking that he would find enough gold in California to pay Papa back? Regina could imagine Papa’s face in the fall when Diedrich revealed his plans to head to the goldfields. She was glad she hadn’t eaten anything this morning, for if she had she would have lost it for sure.
The ride home was accomplished in silence except for Papa and Herr Rothhaus carrying on a rather lively conversation across the length of the wagon, discussing plans about how the new house should be built.
Panic gripped Regina. Struggling for breath, she looked helplessly at Diedrich. Oddly, his expression had turned placid. Smiling, he patted her hand as if to assure her all would be well.
Regina tried to return his smile, but her lips refused to form one. She had learned enough about Diedrich to know he would pay Papa back or die trying. And that terrified her.
The next day, as she worked with her mother in the kitchen, Regina’s mind continued to wrestle with the thorny problem Papa had presented to her and Diedrich.
Smiling, Mama glanced up from peeling potatoes. “You are very quiet today, Tochter. I wonder, are you thinking of your new home the men will be building soon?” As she talked, she worked the knife around a wrinkled potato covered in white sprouts, divesting it of its skin in one spiral paring. The vegetable was among the few remaining edible potatoes from last year’s crop Regina had managed to find in the root cellar. She was eager to harvest the first batch of new potatoes from the crop she and Diedrich had planted, but that wouldn’t be until at least July. It saddened her to think that shortly after the first potato harvest, Diedrich would be leaving for Arkansas to be outfitted for his journey to California.
“Ja, Mama. I was thinking of the house.” At the stove, she offered her mother a tepid smile and lifted the lid on the pot of dandelion greens to check if it needed more water. If only she could share her concerns with Mama. But she couldn’t, so better to steer the conversation in another direction. “I was thinking, too, about Pastor Sauer’s message yesterday.” That wasn’t a complete lie. The pastor’s message was one of the many thoughts swirling around in Regina’s head as if caught up in a cyclone.
Mama dipped water from the bucket beside the sink and poured it into the pot of peeled potatoes, which she then carried to the stove. “And what about the pastor’s sermon were you thinking?”
Regina gave the steaming greens a quick stir with a long wooden spoon. Assured they had sufficient water, she returned the lid to the pot. “I was thinking of the verse Pastor read from Colossians.” Surely sometime in her life she had read the verse before, but it had obviously never struck her as it did yesterday.
Mama nodded. “‘Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them,’” she recited. Turning from the stove, she cocked her head at Regina and crossed her arms over her chest. “So what about the verse do you not understand?”
In an effort to hide her expression, Regina walked to the sink and began dumping the potato peelings by handfuls into the slop bucket, careful to keep her back to her mother. “Pastor said it meant that a husband should always treat his wife with kindness.” She couldn’t help thinking of Eli’s angry outburst in the barn and how he had torn her dress when she tried to pull away from him. And how his demeanor and actions had frightened her. “But surely husbands get angry at their wives sometimes.”
Mama’s laugh surprised Regina. “Of course they get angry. Just as wives get angry at their husbands. But husbands and wives can be angry at one another and still be kind.” She crossed the kitchen to Regina and gently took her arm, turning her around. “Regina, you have seen your Vater angry with me many times, but did you ever see him raise his voice to me or his hand against me?”
Regina shook her head. “Nein, never.” Such a thing was unimaginable. And neither had Papa treated her or her sisters in that manner. So why did I allow Eli to treat me so roughly? The question that popped into Regina’s mind begged an answer or at least some justification. Regina and Eli were not married. Surely he would treat her differently if she were his wife.
Mama walked to the table where the two skinned squirrels Father had shot this morning lay soaking in brine. Taking up the butcher knife, she began cutting the meat into pieces for frying. “It is only natural for you to be thinking of these things with your wedding day coming in September. Your sisters, too, were full of questions before they wed.” She sent Regina an indulgent smile. “But I am confident you will have no concerns with how Diedrich will treat you. Besides being a good Christian young man, he does not seem to be one who is quick to anger. And I have seen nothing but consideration and kindness from him.”
Regina agreed. Her heart throbbed with a dull ache. Everything Mama said about Diedrich was true. One day he would make someone a kind and sweet husband. But not Regina. Suddenly, the image of Diedrich exchanging wedding vows with some anonymous, faceless woman drove the ache deeper into Regina’s chest.
Mama held out a crockery bowl. “Here, fetch some flour for coating the meat.” She glanced out the window as Regina took the bowl. “In an hour the men will be in from the fields and expecting their dinner. So we must get this Eiken browned and into the oven.”
In the pantry, Regina
scooped flour into the bowl from one of the sacks on the floor. Her mind flew back to the day when she had fetched the flour from the mill. So much had changed in her life—and her heart—since that day. Was it only a month ago? It seemed so much longer. That day, her mind and heart had brimmed with thoughts of Eli. She remembered how her heart had pranced with Gypsy’s feet as the pony bore her ever nearer to the gristmill and her sweetheart. She thought of how she had reveled in Eli’s every touch and how her heart had hung on his every word. But lately, thoughts of him no longer caused joy to bubble up in her or sent pleasant tingles over her skin.
Yet she still experienced those feelings. But now the man who sparked them spoke German and had not green but gray eyes. Had Diedrich indeed replaced Eli in Regina’s heart? It was true that Diedrich was kind and sweet. But he was also leaving Sauers in the fall. To allow her heart to nurture affection for him would be beyond foolish. Most likely, her waning interest in Eli was caused by her seeing him so infrequently. And that wasn’t Eli’s fault. Yesterday she had asked Papa to drive by the mill, hoping to catch a glance of Eli. She needed to know if the sight of him still made her heart leap when he wasn’t surprising her by coming up behind her unexpectedly. And though mildly disappointed she didn’t get the chance to test her reaction at seeing Eli, missing an opportunity to see him hadn’t made her especially sad.
An hour later with the squirrel golden-brown in the frying pan, Mama took the corn bread from the oven and plopped it on top of the stove. She glanced out the kitchen window and gave a frustrated huff. “The meal is cooked and ready for the table. I hope the men come in soon.” Shaking her head, she clucked her tongue. “With the planting done, they may have time to dawdle, but we have a day’s work to do before the sun goes down.”
Regina looked up from the table where she worked placing the stoneware plates and eating utensils. She agreed. Not only would she and Mama need time to clean up the kitchen after the meal, but this was washday. Outside, they had two lines of laundry drying in the sun and wind that would need to be taken down before time to begin preparing supper. “Do you want me to go call them in?”
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