by Marta Szemik
“You don’t let me keep you grounded enough.” His heart vibrated worry against my cheek.
“You do.” I wrapped my arms around him.
“I miss you.” He tightened our embrace.
“What do you miss?” I tilted my face up to see his.
“The you I never got back.” William kissed the tip of my nose.
I pulled away. “What do you mean?”
William’s face came closer to my ear until his breath warmed me. “Sarah, it’s time you admit you’re not you. Help me get you back.”
My head tilted to the side, and I stared at him a moment. Today was the first time William mentioned I wasn’t myself. I didn’t think he noticed. Elatation sped up my pulse. I knew I couldn’t bear to continue doubting who I was, and William seemed to agree. Accepting my life as a half-breed vampire couldn’t happen unless I controlled all of my abilities, senses and emotions—not a witch who tried to steal my body.
“What if I don’t know how to get me back?”
“Talking about it would be a start.” Williams hands glided along my bare arms until he twined his fingers with mine. He let go of my hands, cocooning me in his tight embrace. “I’m always here for you, my love.”
“Okay.” I exhaled. “We’ll talk as soon as I come back. Maybe I’ll have some answers.”
“And I’ll have you back the way we were always meant to be.”
The squeeze of William’s fingers as his hands slid down my body to my hips awoke urges inside me.
“And which way is that?” I bit my lower lip.
“Me, you,” he kissed my nose, then my cheeks, “no clothes.”
“Sh, you’ll wake them up.” I giggled. “I . . . I need to—”
“See Xela again?”
I nodded.
“Everything all right?” He pushed his finger under my chin to lift it.
“No, it’s not.” I shook my head. “Let me figure this out, then I’ll explain. I promise.”
“I’ll be waiting.” He pressed his body to mine again. I longed for his touch. His mouth covered my lips, fingers weaved through my hair, and I had no choice but to respond. Kissing William was as euphoric as eating chocolate mousse topped with whipped cream and raspberries. Each kiss tasted like a new brand of cocoa. I was addicted to chocolate, my favorite delicacy—next to pancakes, of course. William’s kisses remained vibrant and intoxicating.
I remembered to breathe when we pulled apart, and I ran my hands down his arms and wove my fingers back into his, recalling how my body responded at their touch. The electricity that flowed between us no longer hurt, but it hadn’t disappeared.
“Stay,” he whispered, teasing me with his sweet breath.
“Soon.” I hushed him with a deeper kiss, composed my swaying body, and rushed out before I changed my mind.
William’s low whimper sounded behind me and almost broke my resolve.
With restored hope, I jogged to the edge of the clearing, then ran at my fastest speed. I wouldn’t have much time, perhaps five minutes, with the witch before Xander sensed me. The timing of Xela’s voice in my head and the children’s mention of the warlock wasn’t a coincidence. This realization triggered the rage I’d missed earlier.
Was the witch responsible for Aseret’s presence in my children’s lives? Did she help him get to them? Was she warning us, or threatening us?
Distracted by my thoughts, I stopped in my tracks and closed my eyes to remember the way, feeling the trail of my warm breath on my face. Although I’d peeked on the trip home with Xander, nothing looked the same at night. Hearing the stream not far from where I stood, I decided to rely on my instinct and follow the water along the canyon.
The walls of rock rose sky high, extending beyond the canopy, while white water rushed below, rumbling and spitting foam like cotton balls made for a giant as it forced its way through the chasm. I moved upstream until the river narrowed and divided, the water calming to a gentler flow. Which way?
Above, on the edge of the cliff, moisture shimmered in a white glow in the moonlight. I inhaled the clinging water, remembering a jump over the brink that made my insides weightless; the height seemed to match Xander’s leap. With the moon as my guide, I turned toward the cliff where the stream narrowed, knelt, and tasted the water. That’s it! The water had left an imprint on my tongue, as all liquids did, its mark in every drop flowing downstream. This way.
I sped forward until I heard a laugh, then screaming, arguing, and another laugh. Xela! And . . . who? My run turned into a sprint. Branches slashed at my arms, but my only concern remained with the intensified bellowing. Xela’s cackling led me to the front of the cave.
Around me, sudden silence lurked as if it had a mission of its own. The bats overhead broke through the quiet with high-pitched hunting cries.
I stared at the rock as if it were the entrance to a secret Egyptian tomb. I braced my feet and pushed the rock aside before descending the ten steps to the lower cavern.
The wooden door at the bottom opened by itself.
She knows I’m here. I stepped forward.
Xander’s scent still lingered in the cave from this morning, reminding me of our encounter yesterday and raising goosebumps on my skin.
Xela sat in the chair, her silence ominous. I ignored her, crossing to lift a log from beside the hearth and throw it into the fire pit, fueling its flames. Then I turned to stare at the witch.
She lifted her eyes, then her head toward me. The witch held my gaze, her eyes closing for a moment before scanning my body from the bottom up.
“She’s here.” Xela’s voice lacked the sarcasm so familiar to me. Her tone was eerily calm, even tired.
I looked around to see if she spoke to someone else, but her gaze pierced mine.
“What does Aseret want with the children?” I added bravado to my voice without preamble.
“To lure them, then kill them.” Each word out of Xela’s mouth seemed to exhaust her.
“Why?” I took a step closer, straining to hear her frail voice.
“They’re the only ones who have the strength to bind him forever. They’re the reason he wanted the prophecy stopped, though it wasn’t.” She smiled.
“Didn’t you want it stopped?”
“Not me. Miranda did.”
Who? “Are you playing with me, witch?” I growled, striding over to stand in front of her and leaning forward until I was only inches from her face. My fingers found her throat, ready to tighten their grip. The rage I’d missed had returned, as if summoned into my body.
“No. I’m telling you the truth.” She blinked lazily, her eyelids closing once every few seconds. Xela seemed odd today—too composed and straining to speak. Her eyes struggled to stay open.
“You’re a lying, deceiving witch. You’re helping Aseret to get to my children.” I squeezed my fingers into her neck. “I . . .” The tip of my nose almost touched hers. “ . . . want you dead.” A rush of power flew through my arms when I threatened her, and I remembered who I was: a fierce vampire and devoted human mother.
She tried to writhe out of my grip, but soon stopped struggling. “I’m the only one who can help you defeat Aseret,” she said, her voice nearly a squeak through a tight throat.
I dropped my hands to my sides. “And you think I could ever trust you? You stole my body! You wanted to destroy me and my family.”
“It wasn’t me, Sarah.”
I studied her eyes and saw that her hatred had disappeared.
“I’ve been hearing you in my head,” I said. “You’re taunting me.”
“Not me. Miranda.”
“Who is Miranda?”
“She’s here, but we’ve been able to silence her.”
“You’re conniving again.” I swooshed around but saw no one else in the cave.
“I cannot keep this body for long. I’m too weak. She’s powerful. Help me.”
“You will not trick me again.” The bravado disappeared from my voice as shivers climbe
d up my spine.
A cool breeze swept across my body, pushing me back. For a moment, it felt as if all the air I had in my lungs had been sucked out. When I inhaled again, filling my lungs to their full depth, a ghostly figure stepped in front of me, as if it were stepping out of me. My mother. I hadn’t seen her ghost in four years, since the time she guided me to reclaim my body from Xela.
“Mom?” The lump in my throat formed instantly.
“I don’t have much time, sweetheart. There’s a witch chasing me. Her name is Miranda. She’s threatening that Aseret will kidnap the children.”
“He won’t get his hands on them,” I growled.
“You cannot protect them without her.” She placed her translucent hand on Xela’s shoulder. “He’s grown too strong for the keepers.”
“How do you know?” I tried to touch my mom but failed. Her ghost vibrated.
“Because the real Xela knows his secret. You have to trust her.”
“She’s lying, Mom. She’s a black witch. And what is she doing among you?” I pointed to teh witch.
“Not the Xela you know, darling, not this one.”
“Help.” Xela’s voice had weakened even more.
My mother’s ghost swirled, disappearing like vapor being absorbed into the witch.
Xela’s frail body stiffened. “Your mother and aunt are helping to keep Miranda’s spirit away,” she whispered. “They cannot do it much longer. She’s been attached to this body for decades. And she’s powerful—very powerful.” She shivered as she uttered the warning.
“You’re saying I never had Xela’s soul—your soul—in me?”
“No, it was Miranda. Her magic is strong. She changed my body as well.” Xela’s voice was different from the one I’d heard in my head—not crackly, but genuine, with true emotion flowing through it.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“I’ve known his secrets for decades. My magic is one of the few that can help you.” She took a slow breath; her energy seemed to drain with each exhalation. “I lived in a lair similar to this one until events over twenty years ago cast my soul adrift.”
“Your soul?” I repeated, trying to concentrate.
“Aseret entrusted Miranda to punish me for not turning Xander to serve the underworld.”
Xela’s cheeks flushed.
I covered my mouth to hide a smile. Life radiated from Xela’s body when she mentioned my best friend’s name. “You’re his soul mate.”
The passion of true soul mates reminded me of William. The lust I’d felt for Xander yesterday was Xela’s. I sensed the same desire in her now and couldn’t mistake it for anything else. Xela had tried to get to Xander through me, connecting her lost soul with my body.
My limbs tingled. “He’s keeping you here because he thinks he can change you back.”
She nodded.
“Can he?” Curiosity pulled me closer to the witch.
“I don’t know. He knows I’m lost in this body. He doesn’t know about Miranda but suspects it’s someone else. I can see him here, trying to get through, but I cannot speak. She won’t let me.” The contours of Xela’s face tensed, then softened. She swiveled her shoulders forward, then back, as if she were getting used to possessing her own body again.
“Then how come I can hear you?” I crouched in front of her, keeping our gazes leveled.
“It takes much of our essence to keep Miranda astray. We cannot do it again. Today is the only day for the switch.”
The wind howled outside before entering the cave. My hair fluttered around my face when the breeze hit my back.
“What switch?” I stood and stepped back until my shoulders hit the wall of the cave.
Suddenly, I smelled pancakes in the air and could almost taste the warm syrup flowing off their edges. Only one person made my favorite food smell mouthwatering.
Two ghostly figures now stood beside Xela’s body, partially embedded in her silhouette as if emerging from her arms. My mother was back, along with my Aunt Helen.
I gave my head a sharp shake to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, then focused on my spine, where the sensation of chills would normally arise, but there were none.
“We’re helping her, but we cannot for long,” my aunt said.
“You’re helping Xela,” I repeated.
“You must too, darling,” my mother whispered.
“If you don’t trust me, trust them.” Xela pointed to a corner and twirled her finger.
I turned toward the brush. The black roses unnaturally blooming in the cave turned crimson in the middle and out walked Crystal and Ayer.
“How in the world . . .”
“Hi, Mama,” Crystal said, and my children smiled.
I ran to them and squeezed each until they wiggled out of my embrace. “What are you doing here?” I asked before facing Xela again. “How dare you involve them!” I growled and felt my fangs against my bottom lip.
“But, Sarah, they are involved.”
“Mama, you can trust her,” Ayer said.
How could I? Yet I trusted my children. They knew their destiny better than me. But they’re only three. “Why are you here?” I looked into their round eyes that shined like polished buttons.
“Don’t worry, Mama, you will be back.” Crystal cupped my cheek with her palm. Her warmth soothed my anxiety. It wasn’t unusual for her to speak in riddles we couldn’t understand, and I understood this gesture perfectly. She wanted to ease my worries and knew her touch would do it.
“We’ll watch over you. Don’t be afraid. Ever,” Ayer said.
And my son would help with the fear. “I’m only afraid for you.” I smiled.
“Mama, you’ll be stwonger as a spiwit when we need your help. We can draw on youw full essence. Xela needs your body to help us too, and you’ll be able to work together,” Crystal added. Although she spoke through a lisp, my daughter sounded like an adult.
“We will?” I widened my eyes.
The children perked up. “Yes, you can help us. Learn what it’s like to be a ghost.”
Somehow, what my children said didn’t seem daunting. They made it feel like a natural step. “All right. If you say so,” I agreed.
“Yay!” They jumped up and down.
Now the “switch” made sense. My children needed me to give my body to Xela and let my soul flow into hers. I had to do it for my children. They understood our destinies better than I did, and I had to trust them. My stomach grumbled as the nausea of my memories in a witch’s body returned. I pressed my hand just below my ribcage. “I can’t do this,” I whispered.
“You have to.” My mother nodded her encouragement.
“Will I have my body back?”
“We cannot promise,” my mother’s sober tone echoed throughout the lair. “Only if we can find Miranda’s and reunite her soul to die with her own body. The risk is great for you. If we cannot find the witch’s body, you will be stuck in a ghost’s form, alongside her soul.”
“She doesn’t scare me. Not anymore. And I think I can do it. I can help. For the children.”
“It won’t be pleasant, Sarah,” my aunt warned.
“They’ll know I’m gone. William will know.” But I wondered if he would. After all, he hadn’t the last time.
“No one will know if we trick them. Anything can alert Aseret to strike earlier. Take this.” My aunt handed me a ruby ring. I could almost feel her fingers brushing mine. “It’s a fake. It doesn’t have powers. You’ll know what to do with it.”
The ruby shone in my palm. It looked identical to the one I wore. I held it up, examined it closely, and couldn’t tell the difference.
“Crystal, honey, you keep this hidden.” I removed my real ruby from my finger. “It will be our secret, okay?”
“Yes, Mama.” She tucked the ring into the pocket of her slacks.
“Do you know what I’m about to do?”
The kids nodded, both saying, “We know, Mama.”
“I love you so
much.” I hugged them hard, as if I were saying goodbye, and dared not think I would never hug them again. This is temporary. Everything will be all right.
As I pressed their deceivingly frail bodies to mine, I snuggled my nose between them and tried to memorize their smell. The mix of my vanilla and aloe tinged with William’s woody musk blended with their honey-lemon scent. I wondered when I would feel their touch again. Then I kissed each one over and over, only hoping it wouldn’t be long before I saw their pudgy pink cheeks again.
I straightened, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. “Send the kids back first.”
They squeezed my legs. “We love you, Mama.”
My spine froze with the thought that this might be the last time I saw them. I shook it off. “Go home before Daddy finds you gone. I don’t even want to know how you snuck out.”
They nodded, backing up until they stood within the crimson-hearted roses. Then they were gone, and the red shade in the blossoms faded to black again.
I squared my shoulders and, with my chin held high, said, “Let’s do it.”
Chapter 5
Expecting the switch didn’t mask the pain. Unlike the first time, when Xela—or Miranda—stole my body, I didn’t sleep. My soul detached from my limbs as if torn from the flesh, and for a moment, I wished I’d been asleep this time too. The air in the cave wrapped around the white light I became and flowed through me, stinging as if it were salt poured on a fresh wound.
From above, I looked at the empty corpse lying on the dirt floor at Xela’s feet. My dead body. Motionless, empty, without a glow, skin almost gray. Even the colors of the orchid tattooed on my left wrist seemed bleached.
It takes time to get used to, my mother’s voice soothed in my head.
My ghost drifted ever so slowly over the three feet that separated me from Xela’s slumped form, passing her soul on the way. I didn’t see what the witch Xander had fallen in love with looked like. Similarly composed of light, her soul wasn’t like the one I imagined. Perhaps because I’d expected Miranda’s: the black soul of a wicked witch. Xela’s appeared more like mine than I’d have liked—clear and bright. For the first time, I’d felt like we had something in common.
