by Marta Szemik
“Because you haven’t had me in a while.” She bit her lower lip.
“Two days is a while?”
“It is right now.”
“Then let me remind you of what you’ve missed.” William picked Xela up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed with my laugh.
The heart I remembered from my chest tightened and I knew what came next. Unwilling to watch, I turned my head aside and thought of my children. My ghost was pulled into their bedroom. Their sleeping faces were as peaceful as an angel’s, their cheeks dimly illuminated by the yellow glow of the moon-shaped nightlight. I wanted to inhale their honey and lemon scent and to kiss their cheeks but failed.
Their eyes opened. “Hi, Mama,” they said in unison.
I leaned back in surprise. “You can see me?”
They nodded.
I tried to hug them and couldn’t. Again I straightened. “I need you to stay close to your daddy and Uncle Eric. Can you do that for me?”
“We’ll try, Mama, but we won’t be here long,” Crystal said.
“What do you mean?”
“We need to be big like you,” Ayer said.
I laughed. “Take your time growing up.”
“We’ll grow up fast,” Crystal said solemnly.
“I know, I know,” I answered. “You’re already growing up too fast.”
William and Xela’s giggles from my bedroom echoed through the house. Couldn’t they be quieter?
“I need to leave, but can you ask your daddy to bring you water for the night?” I asked the twins.
Smirking, the twins nodded.
“Don’t worry, she won’t harm Daddy. We’ll make sure.” Crystal winked.
“Thank you. I love you. I need to go.”
“We love you, Mama.”
Ayer called out for William. I smiled as I floated away through time and space to see my watcher.
Chapter 6
Eric didn’t reply to my calls. I ended up in my tree house, spending the night hovering above the wooden floor. It wasn’t as if I could show myself to Mira or Xander, my two best friends; they’d freak. Or perhaps not. The siblings had seen their share of odd creatures, including ghosts. They wouldn’t be afraid, but they would be upset. And how could I explain to Xander who was in my body? That was the last thing Xela wanted.
The black witch seemed more honorable to me than cruel. She knew Xander would be hurt; after all, he’d been trying to reach her for decades. Now Xela was here, and she couldn’t reveal herself to her love. All that, just to help me, and my family. Would I ever be able to repay her?
Besides, the siblings had kept a secret from me for a long time. I didn’t know they were shapeshifters for over twenty years. But then, I didn’t share my secret of being a half-breed vampire, either. Now I’d love to show them myself as a ghost, but it was for their well-being that I must remain hidden. Otherwise, Aseret could attack too early.
Floating in the center of the tree house, I crossed my arms under my head, tilting it back the way I would if I were in the flesh. The great thing about the Amazon was the lack of light pollution. The stars were bright, and comets zoomed across the night sky, leaving lingering tails. I drifted higher, and the patches of sky enlarged. Once in a while, a bat flew overhead, following the sound of a cricket.
The rustling of branches below startled me. My ghost floated just above the canopy, sticking my head between the leaves to see who it was. I remembered the way my pulse would have rushed with anticipation as soon as the first swoosh of the branches sounded, even if I knew who’d come to the tree house.
William lay on the floor in the exact spot I’d occupied earlier. He stared at the sky the same way I had, and he smiled when a falling star flew by. I braved entering the tree house, keeping my invisible form. William turned his head toward the corner where I stood, and I froze until he went back to staring at the sky. Drifting lower, I admired the youthful face of a man I fell in love with.
“Why do you seem to be here when you’re not?” he whispered.
I leaned close to his side, bringing my face to just above his. He looked at me—or so I imagined for he was looking at the night sky. My mouth hovered above his, and I touched his lips. It felt as if I’d kissed fog.
He closed his eyes, and the pulse on his jugular increased. “Come back to me safely,” he said when I pulled away.
Did he know I wasn’t in my body? Xela was in the house in my host body. Why would William ask me to come back?
I’ll be back soon. I promise.
“I’m not sure I can deceive you,” he thought aloud.
What? I felt my ghost vibrate and strained to keep myself invisible. All the trust I held in my husband floated away. Deceive me?
“To keep a secret so big . . . how can they ask me to do this?” His eyes flew open, startling me.
What are you keeping from me, William?
“But it’s for the best. Otherwise, we’ll never be safe. I have to protect you.” He closed his eyes. “I love you so much. Come back to me, Sarah.”
William, I’m here. My ghost quivered and I forced myself to not show my spirit to my husband. Protect me from what?
What secrets had he withheld from me? Part of me felt like I intruded on his privacy, but I wanted to know how my husband had deceived me. I’d trusted him with my body and soul and refused to believe he misled me willingly.
I wished for simpler times: when I was back home, when the only secret I kept was being a half-breed vampire.
When I thought about Pinedale, my ghost was pulled away through the forests and the mountains toward my home. I reached for William, but the need to return to my roots yanked me north, and he disappeared.
* * *
Ghost living: a world as tangible as the one I’d been used to, yet I missed being corporeal. For a vampire who could run and not be seen, being a ghost had its similarities. My soul just floated through things instead of running around them. Time and space had no meaning.
Dawn neared when I arrived in front of my house. The two-story Georgian home, now abandoned, stood as I’d left it four years ago, although overgrown shrubs and vines now shrouded its facade. The siblings had referred to it as a haunted house that no one in town dared enter. My visits were less frequent; only long enough to take care of the business I’d left, and ensure the police chief didn’t order a search party or file a missing persons report.
The white gate framed my ghost like a piece of art. The rising sun prompted me to move indoors. I drifted toward the front door and floated through it, right into the gloom cast grey shadows by the shut drapes. As the sun rose higher, dust motes sailed through the narrow streams of light between the hanging fabrics, and I promised myself to clean this place once I had my body back.
An upward draft yanked my spirit toward the attic. The dust motes hung in the air floating to the current of the wind that whizzed through the broken window. Boxes toppled and the room no longer resembled lined up rows and columns. After we’d moved to the Amazon, Mrs. G and the siblings used the attic to store some of their belongings. An empty mice nest of shredded fabrics and papers lay in the corner. I hovered by the dusted mirror but my ghost wasn’t reflected.
The grandfather clock downstairs struck seven: the time I’d normally leave for work. My ghost was pulled three blocks south to my flower shop, where I’d spend days and nights working on serums that would turn me back into a human. I chuckled inwardly at that goal; it seemed so silly now.
Kirsten would be here at any minute. She managed the greenhouse, renovated after the seekers destroyed my store. Her skills in caring for the plants showed in the bookkeeping; the extra income went to help a veterinary clinic—Mira’s and Xander’s business.
I waited across the street from the store. Would I ever see my reflection in the glass window again?
Rustling newspaper pages interrupted the chirping of a blue jay nearby. A man seated on a bench flipped through the pages, grunting at each headline. A top hat
rested on his head, slightly off center. The black coat nearly touched the ground and fashionista shades did not match his older demeanor. I floated closer, intrigued by the familiarity of his groan, and hovered in front of him. The man lowered his paper and took off his sunglasses to look through me, across the street to my store. Another familiar snort sounded deeper from his throat.
What’s the warden doing here? He had to be up to mischief.
“I will get it from you,” he muttered as he stood to leave. The hump in his back seemed smaller than I remembered. His wobbling smoothed as the distance between us grew.
Get what? From whom? Was he still looking for my address? I wanted to follow but saw Kirstin arrive at the store. She’d sent me letters often, and my worries over her personal life had escalated in the past year.
You are on my to-do list, warden. My ghost crossed the street. When I sign the papers, I’ll deal with you, too.
A cab ran through me, but with my focus on the store, I didn’t react. I passed through the glass window into green oblivion. The flower shop, now turned into a greenhouse with an extension in the back, had been my oasis before I met William, before I lived in the Amazon. Kirsten set her purse under the counter and checked the phone for messages, then turned on the lights while talking to the plants as if they were human. She headed to the back of the greenhouse, misting the leaves on either side from a water bottle she carried. I imagined the plants opening their invisible eyes to greet her as I sensed their stems stretching upward.
She is perfect for this store. I followed her along the green path, instinctively ducking under the lower branches.
She sat in a chair in the back, waiting for coffee to brew. The glass-walled room reminded me of the solarium in the cabin. When renovating the store into a greenhouse, I ensured the serenity of the room where I’d spent so much time had been kept. I wanted Kirsten to have similar the peace to the one I enjoyed in Amazon.
Snow jumped onto Kirsten’s lap. She stroked the cat’s head before spooning some food into his bowl. Smiling, I noticed the white fur stuck to her black tights, and I drifted to the side of the chair. The cat lifted his head, hissing.
“What’s the matter, Snow?” Kirsten asked.
The cat hissed again, arching its back at me, white fur spiking.
Does he see me? I bent to look at him, and Snow jumped back into the potted shrubs. Leaves trembled as he found a spot to curl into.
“What are you afraid of, silly cat?” Kirsten asked. “Come here, kitty. Chi-chi-chi.”
The front door opened. “Kirstin, where’s my coffee?” a male voice called.
My ghost rushed to the front. Chris? The face of a heartthrob I remembered from high school stared through me. He wasn’t as good-looking now as back then. Two pimples the size of thumbs stuck out on each side of his neck, and he had the beer belly of a long-time drinker. His hair greased—not styled with gel, but unwashed. Yesterday’s sweat had left stains under the arms of his shirt. Was this the dweeb Kirstin was dating? How could I ever have thought he was a hunk? Yuck!
“Hi, honey.” Kirstin rushed out, carrying a cup full of coffee. “Here it is.” She handed him the mug.
“Did you start late? It hasn’t cooled.” He pointed at the steam rising from the mug.
Jerk!
“I’m sorry. I had to feed Snow and—”
“Baby, you know what happens when I get upset.”
What happens?
Kirstin’s hands trembled. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”
Like hell it is! Kirsten! Stand up for yourself!
“What are you going to do about it?” Chris looked from the mug to her, then back to the coffee.
She started cooling the cup with her breath, blowing the steam out of the way without spilling the liquid within. “I was thinking,” she said between inhalations, “that perhaps we shouldn’t see each other anymore.” She blurted the last words. It sounded as if she’d rehearsed the sentence a dozen times, and she finally got it out.
That a girl!
Kirsten continued to cool the cup resting in his hands, eyes on Chris, squirming before he even spoke.
“Aw, baby. You know I didn’t mean it. Besides, who else would take you in?” He sipped the coffee. “Shit! It’s hot!”
Because it was just brewed, you nitwit!
“I think I may be getting a place of my own.” Kirsten’s voice was hushed, and she shifted her body back.
“You can’t live on your own.”
I made a mental note to give Kirstin a raise, enough so she’d never have to hear from this dipstick again.
“No one would take an ugly duckling like you. You need a man like me to support you.” He grabbed her arm.
Ugly ducking? Kirstin had the most natural face I’d seen, not the typical Barbie, but well taken care of, reflecting intelligence and thoughtfulness. She jogged every night, and I’d seen more than one man lusting over her. Who are you to say she’s ugly, Frankenstein!
“Ouch, you’re hurting me.” She tried to pull away, wincing as he squeezed harder.
“You try to leave me, and you’ll see what hurt means.” He leaned toward her and I imagined his coffee breath on her face.
“Please let go,” she whispered as her eyes filled with tears.
I rushed to find Snow. Come on, stupid cat. Help a ghost out!
The bushes had densed since the last time I’d been here, but finally a twitching tail came into view. Ah-ha! I showed my ghostly eyes to the cat. Snow leapt out of the bushes, tore into the front, and jumped right onto Chris’s back.
“What the hell!” Chris spun around, trying to dislodge Snow, but I let the fur ball see me again, and the cat dug his nails into Chris’s shoulders.
Kirsten watched the scene unfold with an expression that clearly revealed her mixed emotions—should she help, cry, or jump for joy that the bastard of a boyfriend was getting what he deserved?
Snow must have had a run-in with Chris before, because the satisfaction in the cats eyes as he retreated to the back of the greenhouse was priceless.
“Look at this!” Chris pointed to his torn shirt. “You will pay for your cat’s claws.” He stormed out of the store.
No, she won’t! I followed the dirtbag outside and along the sidewalk as he rushed away, bumping into an older lady and continuing onward without apologizing. Chris kicked an empty beer can toward an alley. The aluminum missed a boy who had just crossed the street by an inch.
He laughed. “I’ll show her,” he muttered. “I’ll pour some salt into those stupid plants, see how well they grow then.”
I’d had enough. Chris turned into a quiet side road and when he was out of anyone’s sight, I showed my ghost to him.
He staggered back. “What—”
“You will not call, stalk, touch, or torment Kirsten again,” I warned, making my face as scary as I could, drawing on my vampire side to show my fangs. “And you will never step into that store again!”
“Who... who... a-are you?” he stammered.
“You know the line ‘I am your worst nightmare’? That’d be too tame to describe me. Boo!” I pushed my face forward, almost bumping my ghostly forehead against his.
Screaming like a little girl, Chris ran and didn’t look back. For the first time since assuming my ghostly form, I felt good about it.
I hurried back to the store and found Kirsten humming under her breath as she wiped the coffee off the floor. The cat approached and rubbed against her arm. “Thanks, Snow.” She scratched behind the cat’s ear. He purred.
Wanting to touch her to let her know she wasn’t alone, I placed my on her shoulder. Perhaps she’d sense me. Kirsten turned toward the window and looked through me. I listened to her heartbeat. Calm. She’ll be all right. Now, one more person to take care of.
As I drifted away from Kirsten, she placed Snow on the front counter and began checking the day’s orders.
Care to join me at The Grill? I heard in my head while floati
ng back toward my house.
Eric?
Were you expecting someone else?
I’m coming! My ghost whippedaround and flew across town. Not wanting to travel by the streets, I let Eric’s presence carry me through buildings, trees, and people, so quickly everything blurred. In seconds, I was sitting at the table with my evil-bender at The Grill, the town’s main restaurant.
“What are you doing here? Did you see the kids? Are they all right?” I asked as my gaze travelled around the empty restaurant. The breakfast crowd had left, and I’d just flown through Mike, the owner, who was preparing for lunch with his staff in the back.
Eric sat at a table set for two. He pulled out a piece of bacon from his sandwich and stuffed it into his mouth.
“Everything is fine at the cabin. You need to calm down, though. You’re vibrating too much.” He spoke low enough not to draw attention from the kitchen.
“Okay.” I tried to breathe slowly to ease my excitement, the way I did when in the flesh. Even though I did not need to inhale, the exercise helped. “Why are you here?” I finally asked in a composed voice.
“I had some business to take care of.”
“Watcher business?”
“Bender business. Just keeping my eye on the evil that lurks.” Eric widened his eyes, then laughed, but part of me knew he wasn’t joking. He was hiding something, and he wouldn’t share the secret with me.
“You don’t feel odd eating by yourself?”
“Years of practice.” He winked as he took another bite of his BLT. “And you’re here.” A piece of lettuce fell out of his mouth. Eric packed it back into his chipmunk cheeks as he chewed.
“I miss that,” I said.
“Eating?”
“Eating, touching, feeling.”
“You still feel, just differently.” Eric cleared his mouth in one enormous swallow and wiped his lips with a napkin. It seemed he didn’t bother to swallow in smaller bites. “Now, tell me—” he sipped on his water “—why would you do something so stupid?” He pointed to my ghostly form.
