by Zac Funstein
Something made the locks jump so this interloper could get in the other side-even though this wasn’t the average person that you’d welcome into your personal space. It is unusual sometimes what makes us aceed to a request. Once they were settled the tall-man said:
“Found you at last Mr. Smolders permit us to introduce ourselves if perhaps a little rudely I am Mr. Anssi Alatalo.”
This seemed to be somewhere that attracted historic meetings. Only recently Tomáš Komínek a seasoned driver for the Stanwix Taxi Company was taking in a break on the corner of Rylance Ave, when the mini-cab owner saw a pair of men ( later in court to be identified as Vrána/Králíček) as Komínek described it ‘struggle’. There was a sound of gun-fire then one of these men (later identified as Králíček) fell.
“Very nice to meet you Mr. Alatalo-I’m sure this bumping into one another has some significance.”
There was something unusual about him then it was realised what it was-his accent was Mexican though his dress was distinctly North American. There was a journo called Alatalo who obtained the phone records of board members/ journalists by calling up phone companies, pretending to be those people- a practice known as ‘Pretexting’ (Also known as ‘social engineering’ in the hacker realm, involving using ploys to obtain data)-but this wasn’t the same person that was sure.
“Pardon my interruption but I believe you are about to visit Victoria Bayton Ltd.”
“That might or might not be true.”
Anssi examined Ramses, with an expression somewhere between perplexity/ pleading.
“You are under the apprehension that this is the unique recipient of the volcanic pumice that my company provides-please understand that you are under a misapprehension.”
“Really can I ask just what this is.”
“There are several-shall we say concerns- now that use this though we have yet to tell VB Ltd this. I believe that this feature has been dropped from their advertising copy. Now you’re going to ask why we did this.”
“If it pleases you-go on. I hadn’t given it much concern.”
Ramses insatiable professional drive/ estrangement from his emotions were as always present,
“Nothing especially out of the ordinary. Profit as always-that never seems to go away.”
“That’s always in there somewhere-can’t get away from it. We are uncomplicated even when stretched.”
That an external event forced them to come up with a practical response to their guilt, real or otherwise, that the estrangement from the anonymous woman slaughtered in the terror attack on suppliers motivated them to move must never be revealed they realised.
Not just Alatalo but all those that dared to earn a living from the volcano must heed to the great goddess real or otherwise. His ancestors connection was deeply made so nothing would change that. Their lineage knew how to keep her at a respectful distance. Lava was a sacred gift. When people walked the slopes then reverence/awe were the watchword. Anything that was taken must be given the appropriate sacrifice for; those that were foolish enough not to do so found that such could only be missed at great peril to themselves, plus those around.
Recently there had been ‘activity’ but no one has died in the eruption, fortunately the plume was not high enough to penetrate the stratosphere causing widespread climate perturbations.
After Alatalo had gone, to cheer himself up Ramses checked his favourite site on his phone.
The comedians who post new bits several times a day in text, video/ audio formats; with constant updates to ensure that the comedy lampooned the most up-to-the minute newsmakers/current events were a constant source of amusement. Users who rated/ commented on the material gave it high marks. Also featured were ‘bitcoms’, brief, sitcom-like videos made for quick Internet viewing which occasionally titillated too. Recently billboards around Toronto were altered in the same way: a magic marker was used to make models look like Fatimah Kinfe -the ‘bitcom’ star. Bitcomed billboards eventually blanketed the entire downtown. Everywhere giant cans were turned into people or vice versa-some made relevant political comments-some were mocking of media celebrities guilty of sleaze.
Some employment sites were cruised for the ‘perfect occupation’. They were crammed with what were termed indirect workers—workers to relieve a fellow employee, machine repairers en route to troubleshoot a problem, housekeepers, inventory runners, but nothing interesting suggested remotely.
Suitably amused Ramses drove to his destination.
“Are you sure that we can’t help Mr. Smolders?” enquired the secretary of Victoria Bayton Ltd.
Having recently been party to the fact the most irresistible irony lies in the revelation that the father of the modern polygraph was himself a prodigious liar- the intimation dawned maybe this person was not trying to be helpful for real.
There is the sound of activity but Ramses is sure it is little more than a last-ditch effort by a proven procrastinator to cover up a poor work ethic with some busywork. A slight which would prove unjustified as it happened.
“No it’s not your fault. It appears that the abrasive that you use to prewash your jeans is not as rare as I presupposed.”
The confusion is almost tangible.
“You are accusing us of skimping on various ingredients?”
“Oh dear I have hurt you unwittingly which was not what was meant to do. I have just had the most unusual conversation with the supplier that is all,” it was offered sympathetically.
“The abrasive is substandard then?”
Few people have learned to retain perfect harmony under all circumstances-no more than now.
Discord with its companion confusion are usually present to a greater or lesser degree-which would be fine but something invariably goes wrong-as now. When someone is in perfect harmony how success follows but how rare such a juncture!
“No it isn’t that either-we certainly are at crossed-purposes. I believed that it was your company that was the unique recipient, but it now appears that several firms like yourselves are supplied.”
Nothing will destroy a company’s culture or impede expansion faster that disunity or a family feud but this did not seem to arouse latent mistrust of secrets being sold to trading partners.
“You are something of an edupunk-you know very little about us apart from the rubbish you find on the internet I can tell.”
There was a certainty to the secretary-that seemed to come across almost forcibly so that Ramses found himself wondering what an edupunk was. A high-tech do-it-yourself educator piloting wiki-type U’s that stitches together open course material then combines it with student-to-student interaction; an education reform movement that eschews traditional tools in favor of skirting Internet-based learning perhaps?
The secretary continued:
“It may well be that Guadeloupe is trying to reinstate some sort of native empire with resultant greater dissemination of resources. There does seem to have been battles for sovereignty during its history, being once English, Swedish even for a brief while before being returned to French ownership. The politics change even within the present ownership. I’m sure that Mr. Afwerki would not begrudge other companies using the abrasive to exploit the prewash features.”
“That is Victoria Bayton Ltd’s owner presumably.”
“Yes-it was his inception. I don’t believe the volcanic rock is used as a selling point however. It works that is the crux-if something does what it is supposed to moreover even better than you anticipated what is the point of changing-there isn’t any. Naturally there are other ingredients used too. We used volcanic material from another source until we found that it was no better or worse than what employed before. It is like an orphan drug I suppose.”
“Another of your buzzwords.”
“Some drugs lag in development because they are intended to treat less common diseases and have a relatively small market potential. Sodium valproate for epilepsy was just such an ‘orphan drug’ and, according to some,
languished in the bureaucratic pipeline because neither its manufacturer nor the drug admin gave it a particularly high priority. We should do more research is what I’m trying to get across.”
“Do you use Additive VHG?”
“No but I’ve heard of it it’s out there-online vertical portals —that is, portals with a tightly focused content area geared toward a particular audience-that are very popular can help. It makes abrasives more determinable.”
‘Vertical portals’ -Ramses would have been ashamed to say-were for him Internet directory sites filled with news/ chat rooms for people with special interests. Time Warner’s Acme City site, for example, catering to fans of the company’s TV output was one especially enjoyed-though not particularly educational. This was wisely not mentioned.
“Václav Stárek runs the more educated Additive VHG ‘vertical portals’ prodigious in the word that best describes the man-artist, orator, soldier, journalist, proud father/ devoted husband, a passionate lover of life, of its great moments- its small pleasures.”
Laplace when questioned by Napoleon as to what influence god might have on the subject of heavenly bodies meeting famously replied that he had no need of that hypothesis-Ramses asked himself now if this person was met how they would react to each other.
‘If you want to know what kind of future we’re headed for, try talking to young adults,’ Ramases pal Kryštof Strýček from Westchester with a strong belief in the power of youth to change organizations and communities had said.
What Kryštof would make of this office staff Calgary-based consulting firm Strýček founded to help public- and private-sector clients get a grip on the needs of that demographic slice popularly known as the Nexus Generation however would make for an interesting discussion.
The additive VHG hardly seemed crucial but it could prove vital. The ‘Streisand Effect,’ in which efforts to squelch a bit of online information leads to that info being much more widely disseminated than it otherwise would have been might be applicable. It might seem wide off the mark but they would do anything to get a take on this. Everything was getting in Smolders-speak-’too squirmy’.
Deputy Pryor Allain a tough Bronxite who had decided to cross the border listened respectfully to Smolders. Both had been victims a ‘recognized phenomenon’ known as ‘copicide’, a term describing members of the public who can’t bring themselves to kill themselves, so they have law enforcement officials, do the job for them. There were other incidents which brought them closer together.
Overwhelming evidence demonstrated it was totally out of character for Mercer Givry to discard his world like yesterday's trash, yet, piece by piece, the picture was emerging that Mercer'd done just that thanks to Pryor’s intervention. No one could hear of the suggestion of positioning ‘the little fellow outside’ that was overruled by the more compassionate Mrs.Givry (who pointed out the resulting reduced chances of January survival) without a note of pathos creeping in. If it hadn’t been for Allain with Smolders support the calamity would never have been averted.
“Shoot us down if I’m wrong Ramses but the name stems from celeb Ms. Barbra Streisand’s lawsuit aimed at forcing a photographer, who was documenting a form of a erosion, to remove photos of her mansion from his previously obscure website. Thanks to publicity from the lawsuit, the pictures spread widely on the Internet. Ms Streisand’s intervention saved some important topography.”
Ramses who counted Ms. Streisand as one of his Peskabids (People Everyone Should Know About But I Don’t) had to take his word for it.
“Its in there we know that much-the question is-is this a determining factor or something so common that all pre-washers use like the volcanic abrasive we came across before.”
“To drop any enlargement of this, would be a ‘very bad signal’ plus an ‘abdication of responsibility’ I believe-we should all go into this deeper.”
“Václav Stárek runs the more educated Additive VHG ‘vertical portals’ we should consult him.”
Václav seemed to have a law aversion for some reason best known to himself however did agree to an online meeting courtesy of Google-if it proved profitable then it did not preclude further get togethers in the future. That was the trouble if you got too ‘gun-ho’ people got nervous.
Ramses tried to picture where this setting had been seen before-then it dawned gathered on the set of ‘Disgraced,’ around the dining-room table where the central battles of the play take off.
Unfortunately or not- as the case may be-this similarity was difficult to tell given the primitive technology.
The interchange began on a humanistic note-with Allain harping on how Additive VHG was discriminated against.
“Some prejudices (preconceived opinions of an individual based on opinions about the many) have names such as racism, sexism, or ageism, but there are other more subtle forms of racism.”
“I can't see how a mere substance can be the victim of bigotry still.”
“Some see it as a flitting shadow, a lure, a gimcrack, a mere kickshaw-not realising just how important the additive is. Take Aputsiaq Jeremiassen.”
“One of the industrial chemists that make Additive VHG yes I’ve heard of him.”
“Serious troubles continue to beleaguer the operators of the Jeremiassen plant in Osaka Prefecture that was crippled by an earthquake. It took the harassed boss every effort to resolve the situation.”
“A terrible scenario I have no doubt-aggravated by the prejudice mentioned.”
“Some say until all laws are created equal, such drastic/sweeping policies will only aggravate the inconsistencies/ inequities that already hamper our system. Because Additive VHG is deemed unimportant it is forced to cut corners by relocating to such remote districts. ‘Outsourcing’ is-or was- I believe the in-term.”
It had been done to avoids some of the diplomatic ploys of the big powers that hamper international mechanisms but at a great cost.
“What is it that Additive VHG does?”
The secretary had told him briefly but it was a light recounting not with any enthusiasm or affection.
“The abrasive that goes in is entirely arbitrary whether it is the mystical lava or the good old scouring agents that we have come to take for granted. VGH or its trade version Stabilizer B is applied so that you get an even finish.”
Ramses could never hear the word stabilizers without adding the med Axotlyn to it. You do not learn to ride a bike simply by having assistance-learning is imperative otherwise you would be doing the Tour de France with tiny balancing wheels on his doctor said. Axotlyn was a prop but it wasn’t a ‘be all’/ ‘end all’ of everything. You had to learn to survive emotionally without the aid.
“Without VHG the jeans go blotchy then?”
“That’s it-I wish I could say that some feature is prohibitive so it is used rarely. You’d be hard pushed not to find it these days. Its cheap to make- lasts a while too. You’re going to have a hard job using it to isolate anything.”
Something told Smolders they should remain undaunted, realizing if this terror that threatens them should triumph they would be condemned to a life of enslavement/oppression. Finding the attacker went deeper than just proving if this was present or not. They stood undauntedly against barbarity, brutality plus injustice of any kind.
“We’ve had a lot of difficulty with the packaging but I am sure most would agree the present Chinese acrobatics are full of optimism- they well reflects the industry, resourcefulness, courage plus undauntedness of the Chinese people. Such is held up to the cam which indeed seems impressive.
There was obviously a deeper connection with the manufacture than realised.
“Jeans and chinos which have been pre-washed at the factory will usually not shrink noticeably as you may or may not know. Jeans/chinos which have not been pre-washed may shrink when you wash them for the first time-which was terrible for some who didn’t like any changes, hence our intervention. What may happen is that seams contract a little bit but you can s
tretch them out carefully when the garment is wet to counteract this - this mostly concerns the inseam. We have found with our new Stabilizer B that the inseams seem to fare better. ”
“Improved I expect-which seems to be a permanent demand. Everythings gotta be improved!”
Ramses Smolders decided to bow out because in his own parlance ‘the chemistry was getting a little too deep for him’. Why were a not inconsiderable number of people firmly convinced that they were on the verge of a stunning collapse? The reason was beginning to be patently obvious-there were lagging in keeping up with the techno stuff. Those who are so dispossessed can experience confusion, insult, plus outrage unless they come up with an alternative
Honoré Bonnet since his degree was in this subject seemed the perfect candidate.
The smell of Bibles hung mustily in the air whenever Honoré was around for when not working on some new formula his love was reading verses from the old testament. Rumour had it there was a pile in a wonky safe in his garage gathering dust. This was a man of great charm/ not inconsiderable wit too. Honoré was a man who never actively sought martyrdom; the talents possessed, which were not inconsiderable, had not been diluted by spite. Everyone seemed to like him despite some of the unpleasant tasks that beset him.
Ramses stared at the pattern on the rug where Bonnet had just stood then vacated apologetically. Sure Honoré dressed like a preacher-everyone said that-even couched his clipped phrases in archaic aphorisms borrowed thereof but beneath the Amish like window-dressing there was a hardened scientist itching to get out. This was just an affectation everyone knew that. Ramses’s trick was to bring out the person that was hiding beneath the facade. Bonnet could be heard upstairs stomping about.
