by Zac Funstein
“Yeh-there isn’t much wear ‘n tear that is for sure-these wonder cures get used once then dismissed completely-their lordship swiftly over. I’m only a humble caretaker but I reckon that a comprehensive reorganization is in order-I’m the unclaimed hero of that. Maybe they should use alternating current rather than ac/dc I’ll leave it to those who know better.”
“Sure you’re not mildly envious of the knaves that came up with some of these wonder-cures quotation, quotation mark. Maybe that is a miscarriage of justice-I don’t know. Have any of these been imparted to anything big like an airliner?”
It was unusual for someone mild like Onio who had never picked up a university prospectus to be considered as someone who could come up with something new. This was enjoyed momentarily although there was no way that Mazzanti could know that.
“That’s a different hangar this is purely for domestic vehicles-limo’s are about the biggest that are done. Big stuff like articulated trucks or planes usually have a team that do them-though mostly it is a loathsome rigmarole with little found for the great effort expended.”
Mazzanti found himself disappointed now-as if what had been brought was little more than a flintlock detritus from another age. They must move on unselfishly prove that they are not just conceited.
L
The lock up seemed to remain just like that for some while as if what was contained was not of significance anymore. The steady accusations of the clock numbering the movements of the marker no one will observe-the terrible clarity this moment brings, the useless insight, the unbroken dark all remained frozen at some unattended watch. Its secrets remained just that-teasing someone to find the answer-the person that was attuned that is. G’s Volvo was willing to be obedient if the correct inroad was found. It was almost as if it had its own sense of worth-that it would only yield at a price. They had gone astray however-as Tranquillo Onio found to his cost since his services were not needed any more. They had done numerous mock-ups of what had happened but the fact was it was difficult to recreate without the facts before you-that was their perturbation.
“What well-groomed demographics interest you will no doubt be revealed,” mused Tranquillo, then peering at the card with his glasses. “Mr. Oliver Douffet”.
There was something well-scrubbed about Oliver that appealed to Tranquillo that seemed to hark to his own self at that age. Some were like anti-matter they repelled but Douffet wasn’t like that.
“I’m not sure really quite what it is-a premonition of some form I have yet to divine.”
“Well you tread in illustrious steps my friend-many have taken the same route you are about to take.”
“You are like the guardian I understand-the centurion that stands at the gate.”
There was something rotarian about this guy Oliver decided like freemasonry was his hobby wearing cummerbunds or thereabouts.
This wasn’t Tranquillo’s sophomoric year unfortunately otherwise something inventive might have been said-being called a defender or superintendent or any of the other glorified tags that his custodianship got called was an occupational hazard. All it was was a bunch of stupid keys. if it was so brilliant how come Tranquillo wasn’t Bill Gates or someone famous like that. You opened up then when they had finished with whatever was inside you tried to put whatever virtuosity you had into locking up which wasn’t much. What skill was there in turning a mortice lock everyone did that without a care. It wasn’t even like one of those ‘queer’ locks that you had to push up then down. Whichever angle you took-his lot in the mortal-coil wasn’t so demanding.
“If you like but don’t make too much of it,” said Tranquillo who didn’t like to encourage people to use his depository but then again didn’t exactly like to discourage them either. “It’s not much of a helmsman but it keeps Mrs. Onio happy anyway.”
Whether this was because it kept him out of the house or some other reason more obtuse was never divined satisfactorily.
The runners were duly put to action again on their smooth course by Onio.
What a funny aristocracy these men were that existed across the north of America all in slightly similar roles to this one with minor differences. There was probably an entire army whose entire coup de grace in life was to act as ushers such as this.
“Well there she is our starlet awaits you.”
This was his title for the Volvo-since these incidents were becoming all too familiar. A-list stardom hadn’t been made yet.The now deserted airstrip outside seemed to invite Douffet to get into the ill-fated vehicle then to drive off.
What a strange miscegenation this Afro-American standing next to an Italian-Chinese must have seemed. What beautiful children they would have made if one had been female plus they’d been married-as it was they were a pair of men bored with their routine completely indifferent to one another.
“It is the slipperiness of this happening that gets to us Tranquillo rather than the lovelessness. How can the might of a legal army almost be avoided as I expect you have heard before.”
“I believe it concerned the last person who stood where you are now Oliver. They had the same audacious enthusiasm that you did.”
“But it went wrong-capitulation was eventually theirs as if they were up against a barrier of indifference.”
“I’m not into soliloquizing but I believe it was the impressionism of everything that get to those that came before. Everything was warm ‘n fuzzy nothing seemed to have anything they could grasp hold of.”
The ineptitude of all these depth charges that were dropped seemed to have almost tangible form.
“They adhered to protocol I am sure-were good spokespersons all.”
“They all had their own gimmick you could say-but without culminating them or being snide- they didn’t come away with very much more than that which they went in with.”
Onio took a biro from his top-pocket then put a tick in the timetable next to the square which had Oliver’s name in.
“The similarity was unseemly I suppose-they were barely competent.”
“No it wasn’t that-they all had there own approach-we don’t have to slip into treasonable mode just yet.”
There weren’t any term papers which if you passed gave you a ready made solution-you could be artful dribble through what was there-but there was nothing that could be done without the hardcore or solid.
The manner in which Tranquillo stated this made it plain that if a better education had been his-then someone with less effeminacy would have been around to use. That person was him Mr. T Onio.
“We’re all culpable when something like this happens I believe you agree Onio.”
“I’m a little worse-Mrs. Onio will tell you. Before G’s transportation here will give up its secret we have to be amenable to something that has to change within us.”
Suddenly Oliver notices something on a table nearby. It seems like a stereoscopic map of Mars but closer examination reveals it to be the road-map that was in G’s glove compartment.
“I read your e-mail so guessed it was a good plan to get it ready for when you came.I was a little bemused by the marker pen ringing which I believe denotes a traffic circle.”
“I don’t suppose you made a note of where it was in the glove compartment.”
Some would freak out at such a request some could be very dictatorial.
Tranquillo didn’t seem to be bothered however.
“I know more or less where it went. There seems a certain perversity in having everything just so. I have never come across one success-story that has its basis in where something was ‘put’ or where it happened ‘to fall’.”
“It might be perversity for you but it is standard procedure for us.”
Former field hockey champion Tranquillo however was fed up with being told what to do by almost children. At least that is how it seemed to his almost simplistic view. Some claimed that it was only after getting heatstroke on the hockey pitch that had prompted him to pick this gloomy miserable car
eer. Now it was agreed Onio was untouchable. Whatever forked career path had beset him when young now was gone.
Having inspired Oliver to be pusillanimous Tranquillo left not on a scooter but on a bicycle.
It wasn’t really such a controversy after all what had been said by him, just that it seemed so odd coming from this sad ‘n lonely old man.
His last edict ‘reinforce the short-term’ seemed to resonate. Something told him that Mrs. Onio wasn’t used as a punch-bag far from it, but had a reasonable husband who didn’t take it out on her for not overachieving or accelerating emotion. Tranquillo didn’t apportion blame not like that anyway.
Maybe one day the news would come that nationalization had hit even the lock-up trade. Those like him would not be able to give out advice or make alterations to what demanded to them but be subjected to rigorous standards.
Oliver really believed that this was the flagship for operations now. Something about the Volvo told him that it would take the rug from under everything. Those that accused him of ebullience should stand to one side.
The map was examined with some irritation once again-the little towns like the serfdom of the big city did not yield much .Oliver was disturbed by a noise however. It was Tranquillo who must have returned. His bicycle had not been heard
“I neglected to tell you earlier we found this we were sure it was a bomb, but it is a
chemical warmers we have since learnt.”
This is given to Oliver for a going over.
“There are air-activated warmers or supersaturated solution warmers. Both work by producing an exothermic reaction, but the similarities end there I’m afraid Oliver. Each offers benefits/restrictions unique to its construction. Both styles work better when used in a covered area---under clothing, in a pocket.”
“Let’s guess lightweight, portable often part of an emergency kit in a vehicle like G’s Volvo here. They are helpful if you experience trouble keeping only a portion of you warm enough during cold exposure.”
“Air-activated warmers work through the process of oxidation. When the sealed package is opened, air enters the tiny holes in the the warmer's polypropylene bag. The air interacts with the iron that is in the bag creates iron oxide.”
“Rust! But this isn’t one of those!”
“Supersaturated solution warmers contain a metal device in the center. Users snap the metal disc, which causes the crystals to precipitate. The heat energy of the warmer is locked into the solution; precipitation releases the stored energy to produce a temperature.”
Dressed in full regalia with mitre/crook, Bishop Douglas N. O' Connor led a prayer of thanks for the new community building plus everyone that used it.There are many nods/smiles plus thanks expressed to Douglas for giving the students the opportunity to exercise a new part of themselves. His leading role in virtually every local education/community building project from assuming office was great. Douglas ceaselessly expressed concern for the religiously impoverished - frequently pontificated on what was seen as an impermissibly broad gap between the divisions of society vis-a-vis a lack of social justice. Ron found himself asking churlishly if his peers organised elaborate hoaxes like the bestowing of imaginary honours, which appear to have been accepted with due solemnity-or even less charitably could it be that they were the victim of an elaborate set-up.
The bishop was giving a brief history of the church, concluding with a clear proclamation of what they believed in when Ron cornered him. Everyone was staggered by the range, the boldness, the proclamation of Douglas' passionate excess.
Fernandez can never see a man of the cloth without picturing his local graveyard, though it is supposed that O' Connor has not officiated at funerals for a while-in the stillness of the grave so deeply impressive; the feverish turmoil of the living, made up of pleasure, duty, labor, folly, sin, whirling in ceaseless movement juxtaposed against the inanimate seemed to draw attention to his own mortality.
The new priest of his own congregation had fallen in love with a regular attender; the ruling council by their deference/ open admiration, had treated it as the most natural thing in the world that their young minister should be visibly ‘taken’ with her-although they had never married or any progeny originated.
“Bishop O'Connor you must excuse us for interrupting you on this important occasion but your talents with Leviticus GPR are very much in demand.”
The bishop seemed to become animated as if such had concerned him too. “The globular pattern recognition for Chromium- so many who have attempted this Everest's peak have perished in the attempt,” exclaimed O'Connor with the usual ‘proclamation verbosity’ - the tendency for clergy to act as reciting rote not off an auto-cue but ‘like they're reciting off a parchment’. “Some might claim it was foolhardy even to try. Must be some bad Sherpa’s around-only kidding.”
Douglas when younger with Edwin attempted Everest without oxygen, beaten only by gale-force wind on summit day, despite feeling strong fit. It was here that the skirmish occurred with the guides that Edwin/Douglas used. It was this precinct that the survivors of the attack retreated to, barricading themselves into the inner sanctuary of the temple, which was burned to the ground with them in it. The balustrade plus the underside of the eaves of the main inner shrine were said to burn especially hard. Oblique references to this often littered his exchanges.
“Dear old Leviticus always living on the underworld of non-acceptance, its vibrancy often a showbiz attempt to forge some kind of identity but never quite succeeding. Tell us if you would my friend…..I didn’t catch your name why this is important.”
A resume of up to that moment of what they had done is given with Douglas giving respectful attention.
“I know it is not the fashion to say so, but I am the sternest advocate in the world for listeners giving respectful attention to scholarly individuals such as yourself. Impudence I dislike intensely as anyone who knows us will tell you.”
But Fernandez did not seem to hear the comfort that the priest was so kind to give him.
To break the silence O'Connor offered.
“I know a little of this- these girls are mostly Métis I believe- their descent from First Nations/ Europeans. Historically a catch-all describing the product of any such union, but within generations the culture syncretised into that of the Inuit/ First Nations. Mothers were usually Cree, Ojibwe, Algonquin, Saulteaux, Menominee, Mi'kmaq or Maliseet, or mixed descent. There was once an important distinction between French Métis born of francophone voyageur fathers/ Anglo-Métis from Scottish fathers. Today these have coalesced into one Métis tradition.”
“Except that is considered racist in the extreme like calling them half-castes or something-besides the dead-youth was European originally not First Nations. That is the exception rather than the rule sadly-these Ojibwe girls are enormously vulnerable. The oldest case now went all the way to when the Chappaquiddick scandal was fresh. Adjur Ardaka an Algonquin was found dead in Smithers-then it all seemed to begin. These were even called ‘Boiler Room Girls’ like the Democratic political supporters Mary Jo Kopechne mixed with although why no one knows. That ancientness would seem to test the ‘cold case’ status in that resolution is too remote. This growing distance between crime/punishment is a sign of systemic racism.”
“There was a Highway of Misery Symposium in Prince Rupert I believe. Lemlem Tewolde was a lovely, sweet, innocent Saulteaux teenager-there is still nothing to express how terribly this innocent was wronged. The symposium came about because the case file had reached such a critical mass that it could no longer be ignored. Tewolde tipped everything over the edge- recommendations came out, some of which have been implemented some not. A key one -- the creation of a shuttle bus service between the Prince Rupert communities to remove the need for aboriginal women to resort to hitchhiking was well received --but this sadly has not been realized. Hitchhiking remains de rigeur. But one recommendation that did see fruition was the creation of a coordinator for the Highway of Tears pr
ogram.”
“Can Leviticus be of assistance though is what I ask myself.”
It was quickly learnt that Douglas’ cassock had other features including end zippered compartments, self pocket, plus mesh pocket. After some hunting through what seemed like a smartphone was removed-though it clearly served some ancillary purpose. This wasn’t just a source of bubble-car news feeds like Macauley Culkin is dead, no planes actually hit the World Trade Center-useless junk like that- but actually had a specific purpose.
“I always have this nearby-just in case something Leviticus leaps out of the ether one never knows when it will come in useful. I went to Arizona State on an academic scholarship and made the team as a walk-on-so I like to say my Leviticus-phone is always ready for a walk on in whatever we come across. If the GPR tester will leave it as one of its most successful offensive players in history remains to be seen.”
When Kauê Biniam who took over from Ron (who pronounced himself stuck with the Prince Rupert scandal) first got the news such responsibility was his they were getting ready to visit the childrens granny. Each visit to his mother was preluded by a perfection check-list - Kelly -his eldest daughter- dressed in one of her grandmother's latest frou-frou proper girl dresses, which usually included lace or frills or both was proving irksome as usual. Children with low self-esteem tend to be overly critical of -easily disappointed in themselves-Kelly was the reverse though. This child was out there.
The intricate weave of dysfunctional departments/ agencies, massively staffed, technically controlled by its aloof president, but which often seemed to control him, whether through Cabinet brawls of clashing opinions or interagency wars always had the same approach. If the activity was recorded on a polygraph via isometric transducers then the needles would have shown unusual movement-for the particular series of events seemed particularly relevant to what had been encountered before. Besides Kauê who immigrated to New York from Croatia as a child, after getting pounded on by Brooklyn bullies for a few years, came up with his own fitness training called Scheiber Fitness-so called as a homage to the great Croatian weight trainer Dahlak Scheiber.We are unfazed by the notion that law-solvers are more likely to have training in self-defence than advanced calculus not by some small dint by those such as Dahlak.
